Speaking of Halloween, did anyone read the tasty tidbit that Jon Kitna dressed like the coach who drove though the drive-thru naked? His wife dressed like the fast food restaurant.
Speaking of Jon Kitna, did anyone read about his friend who went as Jon Kitna to a Halloween party? My question is, how did they know it was Jon Kitna and not Bull from Night Court?
Speaking of Night Court, Markie Post was hot. Whatever happened to her?
Speaking of post, can anyone stop Randy Moss when he runs one?
Speaking of one, there will be only one undefeated team left by the end of the day.
Speaking of undefeated teams, Don Shula, the head coach of the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins, basically called Nick Saban a liar. And he also said his pants were on fire.
Speaking of liars, Michael Vick is a liar. Bill Belichick is just a cheater.
Speaking of cheaters, did Tom Brady cheat on one supermodel while with another? The poor ####.
Speaking of poor ####s, how about them New York Jets. Mangenius is quickly becoming Mangina. Bunch of ####.
Speaking of ####, I will be hiding from all the Jets fans who will be out gunning for me for the comment above. If I do go outside I will be wearing a mask.
The paternity findings for Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, Danielynn, will be released shortly. I want to be the first to tell you that the father is none other than New England Patriots’ QB, Tom Brady. Apparently Tommy Boy has had his, uh, hand, in everyone—I mean, everything, lately.
Tom has been so busy with women he should enlist his backup to be his wingman. By the way, can anyone tell me who Tom Brady’s backup is? If I were told the lives of my ex-wives were hanging on my answer, I couldn’t tell you (even if I knew it).
Backup quarterbacks have predominantly been faceless figures in the NFL. But there are those few who have been thrust into the starting role and excelled to superstardom. Tom Brady is one name that pops up.
Brady replaced an injured Drew Bledsoe and led the team to its first Superbowl win. Rich Gannon was a perennial backup, mostly to Elvis Grbac in Kansas City (there’s a blast from the past), but then excelled as the starter for the Raiders and led them to a Superbowl birth. And who can talk about a rags-to-riches story without mentioning Kurt Warner of the Rams.
Conversely there are those backups who get thrown into the limelight and then falter due to lack of preparation, a good surrounding team or just plain old athleticism. Any Raiders’, Redskins’, or Ravens’ QB of recent vintage comes to mind.
But then there is that one anomaly. The guy who gets his shot, has a great game or two, and then chokes in the big one. I am, of course, speaking of Dallas Cowboys’ QB, Tony Romo.
What Romo did last season was just this much short of a Cinderella story. He came in, played great, had thousands of people vote for him for the Pro Bowl, then he sucked the rest of the year, ultimately choking in the last playoff game with the Seahawks.
Tony got the limelight AND the girls. Chicks were lining up just to date him. Not just any chicks, but celebrities like Country star Carrie Underwood. The problem was that Romo was doing the Tom Brady thing, but he did it in the wrong order. First win, AND THEN get the hot famous chick. See, Tony? It isn’t that hard. (Well, maybe it was, and that was the problem.)
I also have a theory that the same people who voted for Romo for the Pro Bowl are also voting for Sanjaya on American Idol. FACT: Romo was dating a former American Idol winner.
Larry Star gained international celebrity as the infamous eBay “Wedding Dress Guy.” It was Larry’s caustic wit that catapulted him into the limelight with what Time.com called the “funniest eBay ad ever!” That same irreverent humor can be found in his first book, Bitter, Party of One... Your Table Is Ready: Relationship Advice From A Guy Who Has No Business Giving It. (Bitterbooks. com) He’s had numerous appearances on NBC’s Today and MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Obermann and has also been the feature of many magazine and newspaper articles across the country. Touted as a modern day renaissance man, this humorist, and self-proclaim ed “sarcasmist,” is also a noted songwriter, musician, and poet. His music has been heard on the airwaves in New York and Seattle. He also penned the theme song to one of the most popular talkradio shows in New York City back in the mid-nineties, WABC’s Lionel in the Morning. His other current projects include co-authoring an advice book with Dr. Manuel Gomes, writing a cookbook, performing with his band, and completing a sequel to Bitter, Party of One.... He resides in the Seattle area, as far away from his exes as possible.
