I read the news today, oh, boy. The defensive free agents this year are making a goddamned killing.
I know what you’re thinking—“These contracts are just for show, the players could be cut at any time with no remuneration. Just look at Drew Bledsoe’s non-existent $100 million contract.” Ok maybe you wouldn’t use the word “remuneration,” but, I just want to say that the current trend proves otherwise.
Atlanta Falcons DE Patrick Kerney has signed with the Seattle Seahawks for $19.5 million in guaranteed money.
Joey Porter agreed to play for the Miami Dolphins for five years for $32 million with $20 million guaranteed.
And, good ol’ Nate Clements, the highest paid defensive player in league history, signed with the San Francisco 49ers for $80 million with $22 million guaranteed.
Is this insane to anyone but me? This may be big business, but let’s get real—it’s still just a #### game. Can anyone tell me what other professions could actually be worth getting $20 million? How about cancer researchers? Bridge builders? NASA scientists? How about neuron-surgeons? Hell, Jonas Salk found a cure for polio and he probably couldn’t have gotten aboard the Minnesota Vikings' Love Boat.
All I’m saying is let’s put this in perspective. Don Maynard, the Super Bowl III wide receiver who helped the New York Jets win the title in 1969, played for $7600 in his rookie year with the New York Giants. He, along with many other players at that time, had to work second jobs in the off season to make a decent wage. Maynard, a college graduate, made $8600 being a plumber when he wasn’t wearing his number 13 jersey. Imagine that? A plumber making more than a wide receiver. Ahh, those were the days.
Chris Deilman left $10 million on the table to re-sign with the San Diego Chargers. A lot of people are touting this guys ethics. “Kudos for staying with the team and not going for the money!” they shout. Hello? He is still making $39 million—and he isn’t even the quarterback.
All this talk of people making millions playing a kid’s game is making me a little ill. There are regular, every-day people out there with regular, everyday problems. I know, I’m one of them. I have to go now because I’m taking out a second mortgage to get the Roto-Rooter guy to come fix my leaking toilet. I hope it’s Don Maynard—maybe I could get an autograph.
1) its not a kids game. it wasnt designed for kids and kids only play it in imitation of the big boys.
2) their jobs are prolly worth a whole lot more. if said business makes 100 dollars and i personally contributed to 10% of the profits earned, i want my 10 dollars. take that and multiply it by 100 million.
3) we're the customer. they only make that money because we buy $7 hotdogs and blog here. yup, blogging here makes big dollars for Fox. every add we ignore, every button we click accidentally, every single click translates into a buck. think Fox is paying for all this bandwidth for charity? no it makes them money.
4)you'll come here and click. then you'll turn on ESPN and watch 20 minutes of commercials for every 40 minutes of TV. then ESPN will pay the NFL 1 Billion dollars to show you more TV with more commercials. YAY Capitalism!
Larry Star gained international celebrity as the infamous eBay “Wedding Dress Guy.” It was Larry’s caustic wit that catapulted him into the limelight with what Time.com called the “funniest eBay ad ever!” That same irreverent humor can be found in his first book, Bitter, Party of One... Your Table Is Ready: Relationship Advice From A Guy Who Has No Business Giving It. (Bitterbooks. com) He’s had numerous appearances on NBC’s Today and MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Obermann and has also been the feature of many magazine and newspaper articles across the country. Touted as a modern day renaissance man, this humorist, and self-proclaim ed “sarcasmist,” is also a noted songwriter, musician, and poet. His music has been heard on the airwaves in New York and Seattle. He also penned the theme song to one of the most popular talkradio shows in New York City back in the mid-nineties, WABC’s Lionel in the Morning. His other current projects include co-authoring an advice book with Dr. Manuel Gomes, writing a cookbook, performing with his band, and completing a sequel to Bitter, Party of One.... He resides in the Seattle area, as far away from his exes as possible.
