There seems to be a new day that will live in infamy, or at the very least a speech. In a world supersaturated by media outlets transcribing and analyzing every word spoken by sports figures, Alabama coach Nick Saban forgot to check his tongue and let loose a metaphor that shocked a nation.

Following a ‘devastating’ loss—devastating in the context of sports, not in the grand scheme of the meaning of life; which I sadly feel has to be noted before angering a large group of people—Saban mentioned a football game and national tragedies in the same sentence, a big no-no in today’s world.

“Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event,” Saban said. “It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event.”

The anti-Nick Saban diatribes have all been written, and despite making a valid point, the words are hard to defend. By this point we all know it is insensitive to use war metaphors in something as trivial as sports. But given the state of our society, especially in the regard in which it holds sports, can we really blame Saban?

Sadly, fanatic has become a more than appropriate term for sports fans. Our interest in sports is so deeply rooted that the slightest mistake by our would-be sports heroes is met with anger and contempt, often times not for the play, but for the actual person itself.

Saban has been asked to keep things in perspective when discussing sports, but really, how long has it been since the sports world had any perspective of its own? In keeping with perspective, Steve Bartman had to practically enroll in the witness protection program after robbing a Cubs baseball player of a foul ball – note to everyone: look at the pictures, he wasn’t the only one reaching.

Bartman is just one of several sports figures who have received death threats for their actions on the field of play. Other members of the club include Tim Donaghy, Bruce Bowen, Barry Bonds, and the young woman who accused Kobe Bryant of rape.

At the heart of fans sportscentered—pun intended—world are coaches. They represent the targets of our discontent. As our demands on our sports figures increase, the coaches have carried the brunt of the load.

The workday of most college-professional coaches have become well documented in recent months With a work schedule that often begins at 4 or 5 am, and at times ends with a coach sleeping on a coach in his office, the job has put tremendous strain on their lives.

From the suicide of Tony Dungy’s son, to the legal troubles that have followed Andy Reid’s family, the sports world was given pause—where were the fathers?

They were exactly where we demand them to be. Whereas sports use to be a re creational escape from the realities of the great depression, sports have become the end all, be all to some folks daily life.

For many, they work year round, hard hours and hard wages, and spend a good portion of it on one night of viewing pampered millionaires play a game. To that extent, perfection has become demanded. Anything less than an athlete or coach’s total devotion to perfecting their craft and entertaining the public mass is viewed as a character flaw.

Given this, is it any wonder that a coach would equate the outcome o####ame to national tragedies? After all, wars see the death of young men, they bring out the worst in humanity, and tear apart families.

But take a step back. We have allowed sports to do the same. High school and college athletes have collapsed under the hot sun while the ever-increasing rigorous training takes its toll. Fans have, at times, torn each other apart in the stands. And coaches have seen their families torn apart under the strain of their jobs.

Given the amount of pressure placed on coaches, a loss to an unranked team is a personal tragedy. This is their livelihood, and their standing as human beings is essentially tied to the score board and final record.

But then, it is just a game.

(Editor's Note: This article has yet to appear, but will debut in June 2007 at a Newspaper near you.  Although events and teams are subject to change, the chances of either are highly unlikely...This is pretty much set in stone)

New York -- Almost 10 years since the Boston Celtics saw franchise center Tim Duncan slip through their hands, Boston was finally awarded with the top overall selection in the upcoming NBA Draft.

However, combining a little bit of irony, and two decades worth of tragedy as only the Celtics could, that selection will be neither Kevin Durant or Greg Oden.

In a shocking move, both freshman declared in seperate press conferences late last night that they would be following in the footsteps of Florida superstar Joakim Noah, and put off their NBA careers to return to their college teams.

"I'm having way too much fun here in college, and would regret passing up this positive experience at such a young point in my life," said Oden, whose Buckeyes lost to the Florida Gators in the Final Four.  "I look forward to returning next season and showing what I can do when I don't have one hand tied behind my back."

Texas superstar forward Kevin Durant, the consensus National Player of the Year, will also remain in school after falling just short of a Championship against Noah's Gators last March.

"I'm not sure why anyone would throw away a season to get me," said Durant in response to a chorus of boos from the Boston media.  "I never gave any indication that I was (going pro) early.

Boston general manager Danny Ainge, who has not made a public appearnce since his jubilant "Irish ####" dance following the NBA's draft selection show, has already begun scheduling workouts and entertaining offers for the first overall pick.

Among the first  collegiate players who worked out for Ainge was Pittsburgh's seven foot center Aaron Gray, who averaged 15 points and nine rebounds as a senior.

"We really like Aaron a lot and will continue to evaluate him while keeping all other options open for the time being," Ainge told reporters from an undisclosed location.  "We feel he can contribute immediately and would be fortunate to have him."

Gray, projected to be a late first rounder, saw his draft stock rise in the Celtics scouting evaluations when it was revealed that he has the same brain type as Hall of Famer Hakeem Olujawon.

Ainge, if you recall, once signed forward Brian Scalabrine to a large multi-year contract after he tested as having the same brain type as Michael Jordan.

"The way I see it, is that we already have the next Michael Jordan in Scals, and have the opportunity to get a person who thinks like Hakeem," said Ainge.  "So by my ingenious studies, we are not too far off from recreating the original dream team."

Celtics coach Doc Rivers, who received a seven year contract extension during the offseason, has expressed his desire to draft versatile forward Julian Wright, in hopes of recreating the Walker/Pierce tandem that once led the Celtics to the Eastern Conference finals.

Meanwhile, Celtics forward Paul Pierce has been unaviable for comment, but has reportedly been seen attending group therapy sessions with Kevin Garnett, Allen Iverson, and Lebron James as they try and cope with incompetent GM's that have wasted the prime of their careers.

While fans are understandably sulking in Boston, Knicks fans have begun to take a much more light-hearted approach following a season that saw them improving to 34 wins and an Atlantic Division title.

Chants of "Fire Thomas" has been replaced, at least temporarily, by chants of "At least we're not Boston!". 

In related news, sources within the Knicks organization have reported that Knicks are trying to move  up to target Gray or Nick Fazekas after it was rumored that the Hawks have already guaranteed one of them will be selected with the third overall pick.

The Hawks made a similar deal last year when they selected Shelden Williams with the fifth overall pick.  Williams averaged nearly four points, three rounds, and almost one block in his rookie season.

In unrelated news, the Timberwolves Kevin McHale announced that they have traded their first round selection, eighth overall, for Clippers center Chris Kaman.