Salt Lake City -- Chants of "ref you suck" echoed through the streets of Utah, the mormon capital of the world, as violence erupted in Energy Solutions Arena and spilled into the city following the Jazz's 71-93 loss to the San Antonio Spurs.
Police, responding to violatoins of the state-issued curfew of 10:00 p.m., struggled to contain the mob -- numbering in the thousands -- as many flocked the streets to protest coach Jerry Sloan's ejection.
The riots began as groups of fans gathered around parked bicycles, setting fire to and flipping over the vehicles.
"We've never seen anything like this, the ordeal started when a rowdy group of fans instigated a caffeine-induced riot," said Police Chief Joshua Clark. "This is why we had been fighting to get the arena to cut-off soft drinks after 7:00."
Early reports also indicated several fans igniting several make-shift Molotov cocktails. Fortunately no damage has been reported as all bottles were filled with non-acoholic liquids.
Police were still searching for those responsible for inciting the riots, but did release a description they felt would identify the suspects: white males, blonde hair, wearing short-sleeve, white button shirts with a tie and black slacks.
Suspects were last seen heading west on Huffy 10-speeds carrying several pamplets of religous information. But not everyone has managed to escape police.
"We are just so gosh darn mad," said Joseph Smith, a local fan apprehended by police officers. "I mean, gee-gholly-willackers, David Stern is at it again, making sure that another fancy, big-market team gets to the Finals to sell more t-shirts."
The Spurs basketball team was escorted away from the arena by police along with actress Eva Longoria, who is engaged to point guard Tony Parker. Apparently officiating is not all that drew the ire of Jazz fans as Longoria had to be protected after several fans accosted for her "sinful attire".
"That hussy, going out in public showing her cleavage -- I actually saw her entire ankle," said Smith. "If any of my seven wives dressed like that....well, let's just say we all know what happened to number eight."
NBA commissioner David Stern was not avialable for comment. The Spurs and Jazz will meet again Wednesday night in San Antonio before returning to Utah if neccessary.
Editor's Note: Obviously this is a poor attempt at a joke.
As I read this I kept thinking, "How can a person be so clever yet so dumb at the same time?"
I faithfully attended catechism and was even an alter boy, but apparently they wait until you are a journalism major at a Catholic University such as Our Lady of the Lake before they teach bigotry. Who teaches it? David Duke? Al Sharpton? Don Imus?
If someone were to articulately attack and belittle Blacks, or Native Americans, or ####s, this whole site would be outraged -- and rightly so.
So why would anyone think it is okay to mock someone's religion like this?
Is it that you don’t think the world has enough religious contention already?
As we are always telling children: humor at someone else's expense is not humor. It's just clever meanness.
I am disappointed that you would waste your obvious talent writing this, and that others think it is praiseworthy.
Sterns is the reason why the NBA and it's Refs STINK! FIRE STERNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just for your information San Antonio is the smallest market in the NBA. So get the facts straight before you accuse David Stern of putting a big market team in the finals to sell more
T-shirts.
Tom7, first I would like to thank you for your compliment in stating that my writing displayed some talent if not good taste. Feel free to read through any of my other stuff as I assure you it takes no shots at persons regarding race, religion, nationality, etc. (unless you are from Dallas). And aside from a little potty humor (read the Kenny Rogers World Series story, it’s a doozie), it is a little funny.
For the record I would like to state that I am not a bigot, nor was I taught bigotry at my Catholic University. There was no ill intent here. The humor, in my opinion, is when you juxtapose the events of last night (fans throwing objects, shouting obscenities) with the stereotypical image of a Mormon that it just does not fit. That sort of thing happens in Detroit, not Utah.
Again I would like to explain that I merely pointed out little quirks in a religion for the purpose of humor, but did not state anything malicious towards anyone or any religion. In fact, the only religion that I have ever attacked on a personal level would be scientology – and be honest, we can all see why.
With all this said, should you still feel offended, sure…I can see that. But, as is always the problem with religion, I would implore people not to take it so seriously. The world would be a lot better off if we could laugh at ourselves.
I have no personal problems with the Mormon community, and would not think twice if one of them would crack on my grandmother lighting a candle for Tim Duncan’s free throw woes. Even God has a sense of humor, otherwise how would you explain
this was funny even though i'm from michigan and hate the detroit bashing i have a sense of humor and yes that was a very poor showing of class by utah but in the heat of sports we loose it a lot when our teams get spanked and just act on emotion instead of accepting defeat and believe me the rose bowl has taught me to accept defeat!! I love hoops but games like this taint the sport and the league has ruined it year after year..and if the league just wants to promote the stars then they should just have all-star games all season long and forget the team concept which is what wins championships.
Thanks for the sense of humor. And though I applaud you at catching a small jab at the expense of Detroit, I would like to point out that you do not have the only city that has rioted following a victory or loss. I recall seeing some great images from Los Angeles. I assure you, I did not have the D solely in mind.
As for your tainted games comment, I am more than a little disappointed in you. I felt a little sympathetic towards the Jazz on the quick tech whistles, but the crowd and players had already created a hostile environment and it hardly cost them the game. One of my biggest complaints with fans is when they point out to free throw discrepancy and use it to support some sort of conspiracy theory.
Free throw attempts should not always be even. The Spurs have two players that are foul magnets and know how to get to the line (Ginobili and Duncan) while the Jazz two stars (Boozer and Williams) are more finesse players and have yet to add that layer to their game. Manu flopped a bit, but a.) who doesn’t, and b.) he took some very hard shots.
What you have to realize is that the Jazz have one shot blocker (AK47) and must rely on stopping dribble penetration at the point of attack or they will foul at the rim. I find it amusing that everyone believes that Stern is propping the Spurs so that their supposed “big market” can gather more ratings for the Finals?!
I thought the blog was fantastic. If you can't take the blogs or they offend you DON'T READ THEM!! I love it when someone makes light of heated topics such as religion. You can't say the mormons don't deserve a little razzing now and then, they sure bother me at home when I'm watching a game!!!!!!!!!!!! Loved the blog and keep it up, I still haven't stopped laughing.
i loved it. i dont now what that hater was whining about. i frequently push my writing to extremes. its fun, we aint being paid and sometimes we learn somethin.
i meant to add it's just a game after it's all said and done..i agree the techs on fish were wrong the 1st one anyway..sloan was right to get upset but not tossed if mike brown wasn't tossed for his gm2 antics..but it's all good in the hood.
Ok, I will admit it was funny. Just don't go to the "everyone in Utah is a Mormon and has 250 wives". Mmmmkay? 250 kids maybe, but not 250 wives. As far as the game goes, the officiating sucked, but it sucks every game, especially ones that your team doesn't win. If the team had played as a team and not relied on one person to carry them, this wouldn't have been an issue. Deron Williams coming off a two day stomach flu did more for the team than most of the others combined. Can't blame the refs for that. Oh by the way I am from Utah and a huge Jazz fan since day one. And the only spanking in this series occurred Saturday night 109 - 83, Jazz. Enjoyed witnessing that one even from my seats in the nosebleed section.
bottom line win a freakin game Utah...geez give me a break with all the sore loser fans around the world. These losers out there roiting act like williams or boozer is gonna break them off a piece if they will get out there and act a fool.. the professional ball players in every sport could care less about things like this.
Thankfully, I can't imagine how embarrassed the city of Salt Lake City and the Jazz must be. I'm so glad to live in a city that knows how to take the losses and celebrate the wins, with dignity and common courtesy.
San Antonio and the Spurs fans, like our team, know that we have to take the good with the bad. Games don't always go your way, refs don't always make the perfect call. Deal with it!!!
Unfortunately, it only takes a few "bad apples" to spoil the reputation of a city and its residents. Those few people are just looking for a reason to act up.
I can guarantee you, San Antonio, the Spurs and its fans would never throw things at another team and/or riot. It solves nothing. The players are doing their job.
For those few sad and unsportsmanlike Jazz fans... If you can't handle your emotions like adults, do everyone a favor and don't bother going to or watching the games. Stay home and get drunk, beat your wife...or whatever you do when not breaking the law and acting like fools!!!
The NBA is as always giving the proven stars exemtion from basketball rules and so the Spurs 2 guys create contact with their off arms and Sloan and the Jazz have reason to complain if you look at the rules and all were applied evenly. It is a joke which is why tv ratings keep going down down down..by the way bad taste in your blog and if you don't think it is bigoted in a way that would not be accepted about blacks, homosexuals or whatever...you are wrong even if it is funny, and by the way I think it should be allowed aboout everyone but I'm not concidered political correct....so think the blog is alright just not the answer that if it was about one of those other groups there would not have been outrage.......I know I'm still mad about the Suns being #### by the NBA so I'm biased myself....
UBLANJ: When I read this at midnight that night, which is very late for me, it seemed hilarious but unnecessarily offensive. I worried about who might feel hurt by it.
Now that I've come back today and read it, I'm not sure why I was so worried about it.
How ignorant can you be? Ya, everyone in Utah has 7 wives! Caffeine makes us crazy! Oh my heck!
I might as well just say that everyone in Detroit is black, drinks all day, is on welfare and that's the reason behind the riot at The Palace.
Everyone in San Antonio is an illegal alien that hopped the border and eats chimichangas while swinging at a pinata.
And don't even try to say the Spurs weren't complaining about the refs either. I thought Tim Duncan was going to need to go to time out he was whining so much.
Adam, guy, it was a joke. And illegals don't come go San Antonio. Duh, everyone knows they head to L.A. Haven't you ever seen Cheeh's film collection? And don't be so narrow-minded, we like our enchiladas, fajitas, and tacos here on the River Walk. Chimichangas are white people's Mexican food.
I am a 5th year senior at Our Lady of the Lake University. I changed my major from art to journalism (which explains why I'm taking an extra year) half way through. Sports are my thing, play as often as I can. Would be pretty good in fact if it weren't for the fact that I have little athletic ability. Seriously, my vertical leap is tip-toe. So, I decided to try and break into sports journalism, which is hard to do at a university with no sports program. Well, we play community colleges and get blown out all the time, but that's another story.
