After writing this scathing article about the Dallas Cowboys and receiving all the requisite hate mail, there was no bigger fan of the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday than myself.
But, I just knew something like this was going to happen to make me look like a horse's behind. In fact, I responded to Victor A. from Waxahachie, TX on Friday with the following line:
"Now that I've officially jinxed the Colts, it's a MORTAL lock the Cowboys will be winning on Sunday. Bet your savings."
Well, well, well...
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...
I was wrong.
While there are a lot of people out there who I think are overestimating the Cowboys, it's clear that I underestimated them. Like, a lot. Tony Romo is the real deal. Terrell Owens is always a weapon. Julius Jones and Marion Barber III are a solid 1-2 punch. The Dallas defense proved it can contain a top-notch offense. The Dallas offense proved it can come through in the clutch. And most importantly, Dallas proved that it should not be counted out.
There's really nothing more I can say. To all the Cowboys fans that wrote in, you guys were right. I was wrong. Sigh.
I'd write more, but I have to finish eating my shoe.
(Yes, I realize that I'm technically the "Next Great Sportswriter" and that I'm trotting out a hokey, Halloween-themed entry that'll be used approximately 748 times between now and Friday. But I just couldn't resist.)
Back in college, Halloween always qualified as one of those unofficial drinking holidays -- you know, the kind of day that felt like it died once you got to high school, but re-emerged a few years later with the presence of alcohol and female co-eds looking for a reason to dress like hookers. Unfortunately for me, the college experience expired two and a half years ago, and it's probably not coming back unless I re-apply and roll back my age like Orlando Hernandez.
(Sidebar question from this week’s angry emailer, Jim in Georgia: “Ty, are you dressing up as a sportswriter with actual talent for Halloween?”
ZING! Looks like Jimbo’s playing hardball, and I gotta say… I’m kind of impressed. Well done, my friend. And for those of you playing the home game, I am officially donning my traditional "Single Guy In His Early-to-Mid Twenties" costume this evening. Seeing as how I'm typing this from the doldrums of east-central Pennsylvania, where the atmosphere is almost as stodgy as Art Shell, there's an above average chance I'll be wearing this garb for quite some time. But hey… Happy Halloween, buddy! Seriously. Happy frickin' Halloween. Back to the blog...)
In terms of the NFL, I like to use Halloween as a time for reflection and discovery; a time to realize who's masquerading as something they're not. It's true, not everyone is who we thought they were. With my official NFL Midseason Awards column set to run next week, I can’t give too much away, but here are some of the storylines that have grabbed my interest:
THE PHILDELPHIA EAGLES ARE NOT A SUPER BOWL CONTENDER…
After blowing the doors off teams like the Texans, 49ers, and Packers, it appeared as though Donovan McNabb was well on his way to re-caputuring the fervor that landed him in the Super Bowl two years ago. Unfortunately for McNabb, his team, as a whole, has looked listless since losing to New Orleans two weeks ago. Sunday's performance against Jacksonville underscored some of the team's major weaknesses: too many dropped passes; too porous of a rush defense; too tenative of a rushing attack. Maybe Philly will eventually eek its way back into the hunt, but it's not a Super Bowl contender. Sorry, Philly
…NEITHER ARE THE MIAMI DOLPHINS
Where, oh where, have the Miami Dolphins gone? Touted by many as a sleeper Super Bowl selection, it’s growing increasingly obvious that Miami never woke up. The team now finds itself at the bottom of a lackluster AFC East with a record of 1-6, in the midst of a quarterback controversy (involving Joey Harrington, no less), and with a group of core players that couldn’t guard a lead with a machine gun.
DAUNTE CULPEPPER IS STILL A CROOK
Never in the history of fantasy sports has one man gone so quickly from stud to dud, back to stud…and then back to dud. Just a year ago, Culpepper could’ve been convicted of highway robbery for his underachievement and subsequent knee injury. Upon changing teams this offseason, Culpepper miraculously seemed to regain some of his luster. Admittedly, I took the bait. And admittedly, I’m now in last place.
You get the picture. Six months later, it’s still a bad decision. We get it. Even with a bum ankle, Bush was still the better pick because of his versatility, and to make matters worse, Domanick Davis went down for the year before the season even got rolling. Wali Lundy’s a nice player in his absence. But he’s still Wali Lundy.
B-GRAD COULD BE M-APPLE IN DISGUISE
There’s no way I’m the only person that thought of this, but has anyone else noticed that Bruce Gradkowski’s vitals are noticeably similar to those of Major Applewhite’s from back in his days as starting quarterback of the Texas Longhorns? An inch or so taller, a few pounds heavier. I smell conspiracy. You’ll remember Applewhite as the Longhorn quarterback who was pulled in favor of Simms, despite no real dip in performance. Actually, it was quite the contrary, as Applewhite set (and still owns) numerous passing records, including yards in a season and career, completions in a season and career, TD passes, consecutive passes without an interception, and consecutive games with a TD... among others. Is it possible he has returned under an alias and with a shaven head to make up for lost time?
TONY ROMO IS BEING PUMPED INTRAVENOUSLY THROUGH OUR BODY WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT
My favorite Al Michaels – John Madden moment so far of 2006: the su####ious reference that Al Michaels made to Tony Romo’s recent breakup while on the air this past Sunday night. It was so perfect; it almost seemed scripted – almost as if Romo slipped them a few Benjamins to make it happen. For a few minutes, Michaels and Madden laid it on pretty thick; how Romo’s girlfriend apparently broke up with him last Monday before he was named the Cowboys’ new starting quarterback, how Romo waited by his cell phone for her to call during his meeting with the duo, and how Romo could now go out to bars and say, “I’m the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.” Talk about picking the wrong time to cash out your chips – that’s like selling off your Google stock before it splits and quadruples in value. Gotta love that womanly logic; rarely is it logical.
On a brighter note, the odds that this nationally televised jab sparked a phone call from Romo’s ex: 3 to 2.
Feel free to submit some of your own favorite storylines to my inbox at tyhildenbrandt@gmail.com or by posting a comment below. Likewise, if you have any potshots that you’d like to take at a player, team, or personality, I might just consider including it in the upcoming column.
Ty Hildenbrandt was the winner of the inaugural Next Great Sportswriter contest on FOXSports.com and the host of nationally syndicated Yankee Fan Club Radio. Ty is currently a writer for SI.com.
dress like hookers. Unfortunately for me, the college experience expired two and a half years ago, and it's probably not coming back unless I re-apply and roll back my age like Orlando Hernandez. 
