A wave of animal cruelty has the World Wildlife Federation up in arms. On the first day of this new year a lion was found viciously mauled. A week later, a bengaled tiger was discovered horribly beaten. While the lion only had flesh wounds, the tiger appears to have been suffering regular beatings for years.
Just seven days after that, a colt was found battered. People at the scene said it kept muttering something about not getting enough protection. Hours ago, Denver authorities found another horse, this time a bronco, wandering the streets. The horse was not physically injured, but quite dazed and confused. When asked about the incident, the hapless horse said "I was at home and everything was fine. I was about to feed my pet snake when he started choking and screaming about some sort of terrible towel following it around."
Rumor has it that the next target will be some sort of bird, a seahawk. All of the victims report trying to peek behind a giant steel curtain shortly before their incidents. As a result, the following warning has been issued to all animals: Peek behind a steel curtain, get hit by THE BUS.
OK, I hate to be "that guy". But I have to make a correction.
You stated that a lion was mauled at the first of the year. Actually, that lion was in terrible shape...after repeated beatings, which oddly enough...happened consistently once a week. These beatings date back to last October. The lion was already in critical condition by January.
Ah, Bettis... the last great vehicle made in Detroit. It takes a guy back to when Pittsburgh made steel.
Rumor has it that a swan was found, nearly dead, under the hood of a broken down bus - apparently in the act of attempting to repair the air intake. The swan was reportedly discovered by a pedestrian who was following "a sweet, yet sorrowful, song".
Talon man, excellent post. I really enjoyed every word of this even if I am pulling for the Hawks to win. Keep writing these and you will be a crowd favorite. Adding you to my favorites now.
JustRandy, ever hear of Mr. Ed?
