With all the hubbub about former Green Bay Packer QB Brett Favre's allegedly sharing inside information with then-Detroit Lions' GM Matt Millen, you may also have wondered to yourself: If the Lions knew what was coming and still lost by several TD's, then the Detroit football team must be -- to quote the esteemed Homer Simpson, the suckiest team that ever sucked.
1. The latest Brett Favre brouhaha would be a bigger deal from a Detroit perspective if, one, the Lions didn't get their butts kicked by Green Bay and, two, Matt Millen were still the Lions' president.
2. The Lions fell behind by three touchdowns in the first quarter and gave up 447 yards in the game. If Favre helped them prepare, that's just further evidence the Lions stink. And we already knew that.
3. Millen knows Favre from his days as a broadcaster. They have a lot in common as country boys. It would be no surprise if Millen called Favre to invite him over to hunt and then milked him for some football info.
4. Think of the Green Bay perspective, though. Imagine if Steve Yzerman had an ugly divorce with the Red Wings toward the end of his career, went to play for the Islanders and helped a lowly division rival like the Blue Jackets try to beat the Wings.
5. It would do Rod Marinelli no good to comment on the Favre thing if there's any shred of truth to it. If he lies, he's a liar. If he dances around the truth, he's shifty. If he comes clean, he makes everyone looks bad and invites more questions.
Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times checks the pulse of the Wisconsin locals on the subject. (Yeah, I know it's a long way from home, but it's not like he has an actual NFL team in LA to cover.)
On Brett Favre Pass, some folks are wishing he had thrown his last.
"I just wish he had stayed retired," said Ron Enke, manager of Champion's sports bar, located a Hail Mary away from Green Bay's Lambeau Field. "What coming back has done for his image, what it has done for the mood of the town, lots of people wish he had stayed retired."
Eight months after the face of the NFL tearfully announced his retirement, that face is bruised and blushing.
It is the face of an accused liar. It is the face of an alleged cheater. It is a face lost.
The works of a lifetime, tarnished in less than a football season. An American hero, undone by the American way.
That's the thing about freedom. It gives us the right to choose wrong.
The score is now final, and it's not even close.
Brett Favre, New York Jets quarterback, Green Bay Packers traitor, fast-leaking legend, should have quit when he said he was quitting.
The college football season lingers on here in Madison. but the Wisconsin State Journal's Tom Oates suggests that the UW has now become a hoops school.
It may be for this year only, but, as they do at Kentucky, Duke, North Carolina and other basketball-first schools, UW fans have largely pulled the plug on football and are eagerly anticipating the start of the men's basketball season.
So are the Badgers, though it has nothing to do with football.
"We're just ready for basketball to start," junior guard Jason Bohannon said this week, the first full week of practice for the Badgers. "I don't know about everyone else, but we're ready for it to get going."
Why wouldn't they be?
They've won 30 and 31 games the last two years and last season won the Big Ten regular-season and tournament titles. The comparative lack of success in the NCAA tournament is an underlying issue only the Badgers can make go away, but aside from that, the program put together by coach Bo Ryan is rolling merrily along, methodically retooling every year and generally exceeding expectations.
Ryan admits, however, expectations are growing for a program that has averaged 24.7 wins per year during his seven seasons.
Of course, once upon a time, Wisconsin used to be a hockey school, so it's still a big deal when arch-rival Minnesota comes to town.
Their response to the Wisconsin Badgers on Friday, the way that goaltender Shane Connelly sees it, was that it wasn't yet time for them to get their first victory.
Minnesota rallied from a 2-0 deficit with a pair of goals off redirections in front of the net — the kind of plays that can be considered either highly skilled or highly lucky — and earned a 2-2 tie in front of 13,184 fans at the Kohl Center.
"The hockey gods aren't making it easy for us to get our first win," Connelly said. "At least a positive is a tie, but at the same time, we've got to hold onto these leads. It has to change pretty quickly."
Speaking of gods (or God or whatever), the religion writer for the Washington Post has a perfect explanation as to why the Tampa Bay Rays were able to make their miraculous "worst to first" run to the World Series. And as Dave Barry might say, I'm not making this up.
Devil be gone!
For 10 years, they were a losing baseball team with a fiendish nickname: the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Then the club exorcised the "Devil" from its name, and suddenly Tampa Bay is in the World Series.
The Rays won the pennant less than a year after they put the Devil behind them, and some Tampa pastors would like to think that's the reason why.
Rev. Wayne Newman of Bay Life Assembly of God says the Rays' turnaround may be God's way of saying, "If you get the devil out, you're liable to go somewhere." Rev. Tom Atchison of New Life Pentecostal Church of God says that at the very least, the name change has allowed more Christians to root for the team.
Meanwhile, those Tampa Bay Rays fans (or is it, Tampa Ray Bays fans) are up in Philadelphia for the weekend and the hometown paper, the Inquirer is doing its best to be good hosts.
Just to clarify, we did not boo Santa Claus. We merely pelted him with snowballs. And most of the batteries we heaved at J.D. Drew were rechargeable. So lay off us, mainstream media.
Anyway, you have nothing to fear. As long as you follow these few commonsense guidelines, you should leave here with nothing worse than a fractured clavicle:
Make sure your health insurance premiums are paid up.
Pack heat.
Do not wear Rays gear, assuming there is any Rays gear and, if there were, anyone would wear it.
If you arrive early for Sunday's game, do not, under any circumstances, wander into the Eagles' parking lots. (If you're confused, the Eagles' lots are those where the balloons of nitrous oxide are going for $20 and the tailgaters are grilling Dallas fans.) The last out-of-town baseball fan who made that mistake was cornered, beaten, and forced to watch Eagles Post Game Live.
And since the games aren't scheduled to start until after 8 p.m., you'll have plenty of time to sightsee and partake of some of the city's historic culinary treats, and other items of interest.
Here are a few suggestions from a native:This is where the founding fathers approved the Declaration of Independence, drafted the Constitution, and ordered out from Joe's Peking Duck.
Independence Hall.
Morimoto. If you like sushi - and who among us doesn't enjoy raw fish wrapped in gummy rice and smeared with green paste hot enough for Beelzebub? - this tony restaurant is the place for you.
The fall foliage. Take a walk along beautiful Kelly Drive to see the lovely fall colors before they, like Jimmy Rollins' bat, vanish.
Geno's. The cheesesteaks are good, but the rocket scientist who runs the place asks that customers order in English, as if "Yo, gimme one wid" is the Queen's English.
Any Quaker meetinghouse. Take in a service on Sunday and you'll be amazed. Worshippers just sit there and meditate. They don't talk. They don't move. Sounds a lot like B.J. Upton, doesn't it?
You'll find out pretty quickly that, compared with Florida, Philadelphia is an unusual town.
People who live here actually were born here. There are no beaches, no early-bird specials and, thankfully, no Cuban sandwiches. (For Philadelphians unfamiliar with Cuban sandwiches, think stale Oscar Mayer Lunchables.)
So enjoy yourselves. Before you know it, that Mini Cooper will be here to take you back to Tampa-St. Pete.
Yes, this column has been rather Sarah Palin-centric of late. You might even say it's bordered on the Palin-oxious.
The Blues invited Palin to drop a ceremonial puck Friday, and before the game, arena workers laid out a roll of carpet in front of the team's bench. But before Palin came out, the Blues players took the ice and Legace was the first player on.
"I was going to ask (the arena worker) to move (the carpet), but he had his foot there, so I figured he was trying to secure it," Legace said. "He's yelling at us, 'Careful, the carpet ... Careful, the carpet.'
"I'm like I can't jump over it. It's too far and my little legs won't jump that far. I just figured he's holding it and the other end is usually secure, so I'm just worried about it sliding (one) way. As soon as I went down, he lifted his foot off the carpet ... I knew I was coming down and I just couldn't catch myself.
"It's not that serious ... we'll just see what happens tomorrow."
Legace is questionable for tonight's game against Florida at Scottrade Center, and if he can't play, Bishop would likely start and Marek Schwarz would be the backup.
As with Tina Fey, Palin is the gift that just keeps on giving.
Still, I haven't been this viscerally angry about somebody on my TV set since Barry Bonds slinked away from Major League Baseball. And he was simply ruining the National Pasttime. (I know, I just said that but please forgive me.)
This woman could bleep up a one-car funeral. Forget Canada. if she's President, we might need to look for a new planet.
I mean, we just went through eight years with an intellectually discurious person in the White House and we allllll know how well that worked out, eh?
And yet, if you asked Gov. Palin if she was intellectually inclined, she'd likely answer, "you betcha."
"And you have to be up on not only current events, but you have to understand the foundation of the issues that you're working on," Palin said in an interview with People magazine. "You can't just go on what is presented you."
Although Palin didn't name a single newspaper or magazine when CBS News anchor Katie Couric asked where she got her information, the Alaska governor told People that she has always been a "voracious reader" and named reading — anything from biographies to historical works — as her favorite thing along with her children and sports.
Besides author Lawrence Wright's terrorism history, "The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11," Palin said she's reading a lot of briefing papers.
"I appreciate a lot of information. I think that comes from growing up in a family of school teachers," she said.
Palin said if she and husband Todd had had a sixth child, they had already picked a name for a boy joining siblings Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.
"I always wanted a son named Zamboni," she said.
Finally, director Ron Howard would also like to talk to you about this election. And so would Andy Griffith and Henry Winkler.
At my age, it takes an awful lot to shock me, but something I heard on Mike and Mike In The Morning (yes, THAT show again) shook me to the core. Frequent visitor (and arguably the best football analyst on TV today) Mark "Stink" Schlereth, when asked how many knee surgeries he'd had, matter-of-factly replied, "twenty."
TWENTY?! Yes, of the 29 procedures...wait a minute, TWENTY-NINE times under the knife?! Well, if that doesn't tell you something about the price people pay to play professional football, then WTF does?
Something else Schlereth said rang true to the bone, too. I'm paraphrasing here, but he added something to the effect of "when it's you on the operating table, there's no such thing as minor surgery."
Don't I know it? This year, I was struck by a hit-and-run driver -- on my bike, no less -- and literally broke my face. It required three plates to reattach the pieces together and I'm still rather antsy whenever anything gets remotely near my head.
So, when I read that Arizona Cardinals' WR Anquan Boldin was going to return to the football field -- just weeks after surgery for his own fractured face -- I just about #### the morning coffee out of my rebuilt nose.
Football? You're gonna play FOOTBALL?! Are you freakin INSANE?!
Yet, in a conference call with Arizona reporters on Wednesday, Carolina Panthers QB Jake Delhomme said, I would be 100 percent shocked if I don't see Anquan Boldin on the field Sunday."
As the Arizona Republic's Kent Somers reports, Boldin suffered facial injuries and a concussion from a severe hit against the Jets on Sept. 28. He underwent surgery on Oct. 2 to fix the damage and cleared a concussion test last week.
On Tuesday, he had wires removed from his mouth and he's eager to sink his teeth into a steak from Ruth's Chris Steak House. He can't eat it yet because he has some numbness in his mouth.
Boldin went through a portion of practice Wednesday and went out of his way to head butt a couple of teammates, including fellow receiver Steve Breaston. "He asked me what I was doing," Boldin said. "I just said I was trying to get a feel for it."
Now, of course, I'm not a football player, but the thought of Boldin playing this Sunday makes my own head hurt all over again.
Still, Mike Tulumello, of the East Valley Tribune adds that Boldin practiced on Wednesday, then said, “I’m going to take it one day at a time.
“Hopefully, everything plays out to my liking. … Everything felt good. I kind of head-butted some guys to see how it feels. I didn’t feel any pressure from it.”
Boldin knows he could get hit in the same place after he takes the field.
“My feeling is, if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. I can’t go the whole game worrying about it. … Then you haven’t played to your full potential.”
In making the decision on whether to play, in concert with the Cardinals’ medical staff and coaches, “You have to listen to your body,” Boldin said. “That’s the best indictor.
“The body lets you know if you can go. It also lets you know if you can’t.”
Boldin said wires were removed from his mouth Tuesday, but metal plates that were implanted are to stay in permanently.
Yeah, I'm walking around with plates in my head too. Yup, me, Anquan and Don Zimmer.
Now, the surgeons assured me that I'd have no trouble walking through airport security, but I haven't tested this theory as yet. Another loyal reader, GS, suggested that I should maybe visit the City-County building here in Madison to see if the plates make the machine go WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP...
Surgeries were the topic of discussion on Mike and Mike In The Morning as many are buzzing about the news that New England QB Tom Brady may need a "do-over" on his own knee surgery.
In fact, Karen Guregian of the Boston Herald reveals that "doctors are so concerned about containing the infection in Tom Brady’s left knee they have performed three procedures in an attempt to eradicate it, according to a source familiar with the quarterback’s travails on the West Coast.
While Brady acknowledged on his Web site that he had one arthroscopic procedure done to “clean and to test the wound” last Wednesday, the Herald has learned there have been two additional procedures performed since that time, with the same goal in mind.
According to the source, the fear is the patellar tendon graft used to replace Brady’s anterior cruciate ligament is in danger of becoming compromised. Should that occur, the entire ACL reconstruction would have to be removed and redone from scratch.
All of which would push back the possible timetable for his return to the Patriots' lineup.
Meanwhile, that's not the only problem in the NFL this morning. Accoring to John Harris of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, Ray Anderson, NFL executive vice president for football operations, says the league is investigating a bounty made against Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward by Baltimore Ravens linebacker/defensive end Terrell Suggs, who appeared on the "2 Live Stews" show on Sporting News Radio.
"We certainly are looking into it," Anderson said. "That bounty notion is completely against the rules. We will look into it aggressively."
Of course, Suggs reversed field Wednesday and told Baltimore reporters that there's no bounty on Ward. Don't you just love these people who say stupid things and then claim to be misquoted?
Uh, dude, you were RECORDED SAYING IT!
In the same interview, Suggs also added that a similar bounty had been placed on rookie running back Rashard Mendenhall and it was widely reported that Ravens' LB Ray Lewis danced over the stricken body of Mendenhall, exclaimed, "HE"S DONE."
Still, the thuggish Lewis also tried to feign some remorse. When asked on Dan Patrick's radio show, if he feels sympathy for opposing players he's injured on the field, "Yeah, I do. Sympathy goes a long way," Lewis said. "Most of the time, as soon as I see somebody seriously hurt, I go into prayer. I don't stop until that person starts to move.
"The last thing you want is to ever injure somebody where there limping the rest of their eyes. ... Nobody should go out there to hurt anybody. If you do, you're in the wrong sport. You may as well go into UFC."
Yes, sirree...never a dull moment while covering the Baltimore Ravens.
Game 1 of the World Series has come and gone. So, what did we learn last night?Let MLB.com's Mark Newman count the ways.
1. The Phillies are in this event, too. Many Americans have adopted the Rays. There is no denying it. New York is particularly teeming with Tampa Bay backers right now, and the frenzy has spread in a country that loves a great underdog story. But the Phillies won Game 1, 3-2.
2. It is cool to shave all the hair on your head except for a thick racing stripe down the middle, which you spray-paint blue. Rayhawks are everywhere here, and you see them on the strangest of pates. If you have a shiny pate, then a blue boa affixed to the noggin' makes for a nice Rayhawk just the same.
3. It is not cool to get out of the way when the opposing team's first baseman is lunging into the crowd to catch a foul ball. Score it E-fans, in Game 1 at Tropicana Field. This isn't the first time that poor foul-ball-catching etiquette was displayed in a postseason game, of course (hint: Wrigley Field). Jimmy Rollins was talking about how they cleared room for Ryan Howard in that situation, and he was asked what would happen if Carlos Pena tried to make a foul catch just like that back in Philadelphia: "Would he come out alive? Yeah," Rollins said. "Bruised? Maybe."
4. Be careful what you ask for when you put the shift on for Chase Utley. During the same at-bat in which he tried to bunt for a hit down the unoccupied space at third base, Utley turned on an inside 92-mph fastball from Scott Kazmir and blasted it for a two-run homer in the first inning to set the tone.
"He's different than most left-handed hitters," Kazmir said. "I would say more of a long swing, they don't really know how to get to an inside fastball too well to a lefty. But him, you can just tell he loves to keep his hands in and he likes that short and quick swing. But I knew just from watching video and games here and there he likes a pitch in. He just gets his hands through the zone."
Said Utley: "I guess it turned out pretty well. The third baseman was playing shortstop, I figured with a guy on first and one out, I'd try to create something at that point. It was foul, but it ended up to turn out pretty good for us."
5. The NL can play with the AL.
6. Cole Hamels is starting to remind you of a young Bret Saberhagen in the 1985 postseason for Kansas City and a young Josh Beckett in the 2003 postseason for Florida. You are wondering if soon you will be seeing postgame notes comparing his 2008 postseason to people like those, listing birthdates and such. He seems unbeatable this month.
7. The running game is alive and well in this series, even though both teams come in with reputations for massive power displays. "There will be running this series," Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz said.
"For us 0-1, it's like being down 0-1 in the count if you're the batter," Rays reliever J.P. Howell said. "You're not too worried, but at the same time you saw what they have. You've got to prepare and adjust. They're very aggressive on the basepaths. That's something I didn't know about them. And those guys, they battle, it's a different league. Their approaches are just different. It's a feel thing."
8. The in-game music is different here, seemingly younger than many places. Early in the game, it had a club feel. You can tell it's a young team, just by the vibe that permeates into the crowd. There was rapper Too Short, country singer Trace Atkins, an industrial band called Ministry, Aussie band Midnight Oil rings out when Aussie reliever Grant Balfour enters the game, there was the national anthem from the Backstreet Boys -- the only thing missing was New Kids On The Block. By the way, NKOTB drew the largest crowd in the stadium's history. It's not your grandfather's ballpark.
9. Both U.S. presidential candidates know exactly how important baseball is to everyone.
10. You really can win a World Series opener after a long layoff.
11. But don't count on winning often when you are 0-for-13 with runners in scoring position.
12. Tropicana Field is a fun place to watch the Fall Classic. In the fifth inning, they were having a great time inside the Centerfield Brewhouse, while down the concourse a boy was wailing on baseballs in the Extreme Zone Batting Cage -- a junkyard motif with a clunker car bearing a sign that reads: "RUNS GOOD".
13. Looking ahead is OK as long as you aren't a player. Even though you don't know which of these teams is going to win the World Series, you already can order that team's clubhouse championship gear.
15. Brad Lidge can do pretty much whatever he wants right now. He remains perfect in save situations in 2008. This time it was thanks to his tight slider. In Game 2? "They're gonna go home and watch video, and tomorrow I might face them again, and they might be on my slider better," he said. "So you have to make adjustments. It's mostly the situation of the game that dictates what's going on. I haven't seen 'em, they haven't seen me. Tonight it's sliders, tomorrow it's fastballs if it requires fastballs."
Finally, I have some terrible news to share with you all. Shocking, ugly, evil, DISGUSTING news that will shake you deeply.
The esteemed Mr. Easterbrook has his own loyal readers and one of them, Nicole Zavradinos, was among many to report that WMNV-FM in St. Louis has already switched to an all-Christmas-music format. She heard "Little Drummer Boy" on the radio while driving to work. ARRGHH!
Yet another reader, Ryan Lindhurst of Mount Clemens, Mich., reports, "You might have noticed at your local grocery stores that Pepsi has begun selling Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash. It is advertised as a 'holiday drink' and for the last two years has been available from late October until New Year's. This year it hit the shelves shortly after Labor Day." Click Cranberry Splash on the Sierra Mist home pageand you will be offered Christmas wallpaper plus Christmas songs containing the word "cranberry."
After reading Easterbrook's column, I saw a display of Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash and shuddered visibly. And yes, it's been siting there since freakin Labor Day at Apollo Liquor too.
Still, Xmas music before Halloween is just plain wrong. Having given up on the holiday several years ago, I can't stand Xmas music EVER!!
The problem is that in our secular America -- and I'm a secular American, so I'm not knocking that -- you can't play the baby Jesus songs, so it means suffering through an entire month of those blankety-blank chestnuts and rocking around that #### Xmas tree. Now, you're telling me that a radio station in St. Louis is playing this #### in October?!
Look, my friends, THIS and not Bill Ayers or Rev. Wright or Sarah Palin's clothes budget or any number of silly meaningless so-called issues..THIS is what we should asking our candidates about.
"Senator Obama, if elected, would you consider a FCC ban on radio stations playing Xmas music before December?"
Only 12 more days before the election...and only 62 more to stock up on the Cranberry Splash!
Like many sports fans, I wake up each day with ESPN's Mike and Mike In The Morning. The show, on ESPN Radio and simulcast on ESPN 2, features Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic along with the top names in sports and entertainment.
The combination of the effete, preppy Greeny and the jockish, more rotund Golic usually gives fans a chance to agree with one or the other on a variety of issues in the sports world and beyond. Then again, on those rarer mornings when the two actually take the same viewpoint, the listener can concur that they're both -- um, how do I say this intellectually? -- a couple of big ####yheads!
The World Series begins tomorrow night in Tampa Bay, an American League city, so Game 1 will include the Designated Hitter. All of which gives the DH-haters yet another opportunity to spew their contempt and displeasure.
To a goodly number of baseball fans -- and, I'd argue, a lot more people who don't give a rat's #### about the game, but simply want something to #### about -- the DH should follow the Soviet Union, mood rings and MC Hammer off into the deep dark recesses of time
Typical of this mindset is Joe Holleman of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, as he writes..the designated hitter is an abomination. I will gladly add this to his list of things to do in the first 100 days of [my] administration.
Everyone who loves baseball knows that the nine guys who take the field are the nine guys who get to bat. Everybody plays the field, everybody steps to the plate. But since the greedy owners love the extra run production, and the greedy union likes the extra roster spots, this crime against nature continues. And the DH is precisely why managers in the American League deserve less respect than their National League counterparts. And it is yet another reason that the AL is known as the "junior circuit."
To paraphrase the immortal Dan Aykroyd, Joe, you ignorant ####!
The AL is called the junior circuit because it came into being in 1901, after the formation of the NL. And yes, I can agree -- to an extent -- that managing in the NL is more dificult because you have to factor in the pitcher's spot in the batting order.
Still, when both Mike and Mike claimed that baseball would be better without the DH, I wanted to throw something at my TV. NO!
What these revisionists fail to understand is the DH actually helps the game more than they can comprehend. The DH actually adds something to the game and disposing of it would give baseball a boring sameness.
Look, we get to argue this every year -- the AL is better, no the NL is better. Do we have this in the NFL? Does anybody care about which conference is better in professional football? Nope.
Since everybody plays the same game and the same rules, there is practically no difference in the games of each Super Bowl participant. If you're old enough, you can raise a cheer for a traditional NFC team or wave a pennant for one of the old AFL franchises. Other than that, who cares?
In fact, I'd argue further that the only people who don't care for the DH are all over the age of 40. There is an entire generation -- really, almost two generations -- that have grown up with the DH and if they've played the game on any level, have played with the DH in their game. Except for these old farts and NL supremacists, nobody else cares.
Greenberg insists that since baseball has changed over the years, we can look forward to the eventual demise of the DH. He suggests that once upon a time the very notion of interleague play, wild cards and instant replay were unthinkable, but all have been introduced to Major League Baseball and to the betterment of the game.
But those were steps forward, Greeny. Eliminating the DL is a big step backward. No DH means that one less functional hitter gets to bat and one less spot on the roster.
Again, I'd argue loudly that I don't want both leagues to play the same game. I think our status quo -- DH in the AL, no DH in the NL -- is the best of both worlds. And without the yearly argument, there'd be a boring sameness between the World Series teams.
And what's so bad about getting a few more seasons on the end of our favorite players' careers? If the DH had been inacted a decade earlier -- so the careers of say, Mickey Mantle, Stan Musial and Ted Williams would have been extended -- I doubt that we'd even be having this argument in the first place.
For this and other reasons, I feel that I would make a MUCH better MLB Commissioner than Mike Greenberg, the only self-professed candidate for the job. With that in mind, I am announcing my own candidacy to be your next MLB Commissioner. Therefore, I am challenging the esteemed Mr. Greenberg to a debate on the DH and the other issues facing the game.
Any time, any place, Greeny. You can stack the questioners full of your ESPN comrades -- Peter Gammons, Buster Olney, Jayson Stark et al. Have them all ask both of us questions and see which one of us truly has a better grasp on the game of baseball.
In the spirit of this current toxic political season, I have concocted my own negative ad slogan: Can we really trust the judgment of a failed game show host to be our next MLB Commissioner? I think not.
Oh, it doesn't mean anything about our budding campaign or the DH kerfluffle, but you had to enjoy Mike Ditka (on ESPN's Mike and Mike, no less) calling the AL Champs, the "Tampa Ray Bays."
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, word came out yesterday in San Francisco that the 49ers would be firing one of their own Mikes, head coach Mike Nolan, after this Sunday's game.
Of course, Nolan did what we would do if we heard such a rumor at work about our job security -- he walked into his boss's office and asked point blank, what gives? And like our own lives, the guy behind the desk said something like, "um, we were gonna tell you, but..."
So, the old Mike is being replaced by the new Mike, former Super Bowl Shuffling Mike Singletary. And it's not like Nolan left many friends in the Bay Area to defend him. Gwen Knapp of the SF Chronicle made the following parting shot, ridiculing the dapper Nolan for being "ill-suited" to the job.
On the surface, Nolan seemed very different from his employers, the York branch of the DeBartolo family. He is full of swagger and vanity, a man of many words, most of them empty. The Yorks are sensible-shoes people, deathly allergic to microphones.
But both sides, the owners and their erstwhile head coach, care very, very much, almost desperately, about the opinions of others. They want to do the right thing. They just can't figure out on their own what that might be. So they'd listen and listen and listen, and the result was a lot of voices in their head and no clear vision about the football team.
Some of that could change under Mike Singletary, who has a strong sense of self reinforced by a bronze bust in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Chosen as Nolan's replacement, he is unlikely to copy his predecessor and request permission to wear a suit on the sideline. Singletary's idea of a fashion statement is a faded nylon pullover with the lettering nearly erased and a wooden cross around his neck.
He does cut a surprisingly sleek figure these days, no longer built like a bulldog of a linebacker. But ask Singletary about his fitness regime, and he won't preen at all. He'll humbly admit that he failed a physical for a non-football job after he left the Chicago Bears. The doctor told him he was a prime candidate for diabetes and heart disease, and he cleaned up his diet.
But does that mean Singletary can reshape the 49ers' culture, once among the best in sports, now fighting the Clippers and Raiders for the aisle seats in purgatory? The Yorks would have to get the kind of luck that is not the residue of design.
Moreover, the new Mike has another holdover Mike, Mr Martz, the offensive coordinator. Can the two join forces and turn the Niners around? San Jose Mercury-News columnist Mark Purdy isn't convinced.
History proves that dumping a coach in October almost always accomplishes squat. NFL teams have changed coaches during the season more than 80 times since 1930. But only three times — and not since 1961 — has it resulted in a team making the playoffs. Only four other times has it resulted in a winning season.
Singletary, in other words, is fighting enormous odds. It did not have to be this way. Management had a chance to reboot the team after last season's dismal 5-11 record, Nolan's third straight losing season. In early January, I called Nolan "the luckiest coach in football" to be returning. No previous 49ers coach had been allowed to stay on after three sub-.500 seasons.
Of course, should Singletary and Martz fail, yet another Mike looms in the distance. Mike Holmgren, former Super Bowl winner in Green Bay and about to retire at season's end in Seattle, started out as a Niner assistant coach.
In an ideal scenario, the 49ers play this season out under Singletary, show progress and gain momentum for a fresh start in 2009 under different leadership. Ideally, they bring in Mike Holmgren to either coach or oversee the football operations (a la Bill Parcells' role with the Miami Dolphins). General manager Scot McCloughan worked with Holmgren in Seattle, so presumably there's an amicable relationship that could help them ferret out a new coach if Holmgren doesn't want that exact job.
Other candidates surely will surface. There might be a desire to return to the West Coast-offense roots with a former 49ers coordinator, such as Greg Knapp (now with the Raiders) or Marty Mornhinweg (Eagles). Maybe they'd get a hotshot NFL assistant (e.g. New England's Josh McDaniels) or dare to venture into the college ranks, a path that led the Yorks to the disappointing Dennis Erickson era.
But they probably won't fork over the massive salary it would take to lure a Bill Cowher or Pete Carroll, especially not if Holmgren is paid big money to serve as the new chief who'd pick the coach like Parcells did in Miami.
(One last Holmgren note: The New York Giants' game program Sunday listed Holmgren as the 49ers coach, a typo likely explained by the fact that Holmgren's Seahawks were the previous visitors to Giants Stadium on Oct. 5.)
Finally, it's been a bad week so far for technology. Once upon a time, we grew so jaded of space travel that we took it for granted and barely considered the dangers involved. The Challenger and Columbia disasters kicked those complacent feelings to the curb.
[I digress as usual, but I once saw a former space capsule at Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry. I took one look and was flabbergasted? They took this THING out into space and came BACK? I wouldn't ride that contraption to Kenosha and back.]
Anyway, we've all gotten used to having the world provided to us on our TV sets nightly from all over the world. Witness the dismay and disbelief that followed this weekend. In the space of roughly 24 hours, viewers suffered through the loss of the signal from both Game 6 of the ALCS Saturday night and the San Diego-Buffalo game on Sunday afternoon.
Baseball fans tuning into TBS for the game were treated to the comic stylings of Steve Harvey and not the Red Sox-Rays game. Who in the world made that decision? Not back to the studio for an explanation? Not more pre-game fluff before getting back to the game? And this was compounded by the umpires' decision to start the game anyway, so viewers missed a first inning home run.
Meanwhile, CBS has been broadcasting the NFL forever, but they kept losing the feed from the Chargers-Bills game. At least, they had the good sense to provide an actual alternate NFL game in its place.
The highly paid media professional who decided that Steve Harvey was a perfectly good choice for filling air space during Game 6 of the ALCS should join Mike Nolan on the umemployment line.
"To anybody who's a soul music fan, this is like royalty dying," ...
Admittedly, it was awfully tough to watch the deciding Game 7 of the American League Championship Series last night. A big reason was my constant flicking back to watch Mad Men on AMC, THE essential MUST watch television program in my life at the moment.
(Note to AMC) Hey, bring Don Draper back to New York already! Don't pull a Desparate Housewives and get all goofy in only your second season and lose your faithful fan base!)
The main reason, though, that many other Americans couldn't bear to watch the baseball game last night was the sickening feeling that the plucky Tampa Bay Rays were about to be gutted by the fates and the Evil Empire 2.0 -- otherwise known as the Boston Red Sox -- were about to pull yet another metaphorical rabbit out of their caps to win yet another American League pennant.
I'll touch on the Evil Empire 2.0 in a moment, but consider the karma surrounding the game for Tampa Bay and their fans last night. They'd been seven runs up and seven outs away from winning it last Thursday night and now it was down to one single game -- after a whole season of defying expectations -- of finally falling just short of the World Series.
Even though they'd won the AL East, these Rays and their fans were in danger of being just another lovable loser, just another Bartman moment, just another speedbump as the Evil Empire 2.0 skipped right past them.
Could this miracle of a baseball season be consigned to the dungeon of great postseason collapses? Could the '08 Rays go from being the '69 Mets to the '03 Cubs in 72 hours flat?
It would be like those '69 Mets blowing a 3-1 World Series lead to the Orioles. It would be like the Soviets scoring two late goals to beat the U.S. Olympic hockey team at Lake Placid in 1980. It would be like Mike Tyson getting back up to knock out Buster Douglas.
It would be a shame if this season was judged by how it ended.
Flaming wreckage is no way to end this. No way at all.
Instead, it happened and nothing will ever be the same. This was big. This was Charlie Brown finally getting to kick that football big.
Now there is a mourning Red Sox Nation that is in total denial. They don't understand that their beloved team has become the NEW New York Yankees -- the NEW best-team-money-can-buy and therefore, the team America now roots AGAINST!
So how are we going to explain why, when it looked as if the Amazin' Rays would buckle under the pressure of a seventh game, they refused to buckle? How are we going to explain exactly why, when it looked as if the Red Sox would make the Rays another notch in their remarkable postseason belt, that it was the defending world champions who would melt?
All we can tell you is that it happened. All we can tell you is the Rays, the latter-day cousins of the '69 Amazin' Mets, beat the Red Sox 3-1 before 40,473 fans and at least that many cowbells at Tropicana Field to win the seventh game of the 2008 ALCS. All we can tell you is a team that had finished in last place nine of the 10 years of its existence answered a 96-loss season with 97 wins, a division title and its first World Series appearance.
"I hate to disappoint the hard-liners, but I really can step back [and enjoy this as a fan]," Rays` manager Joe Maddon said before the start of Sunday's game. "I actually was taking my bike ride today, and you just look out over the water and you think about Game 7. When you're a kid in the playground or in the backyard playing, you're always playing Game 7. Well, here it is."
Maddon said he never lost a Game 7 in his backyard growing up in Hazleton, Pa. Well, this isn't Hazleton. This is the big leagues. To be fair, Maddon was the bench coach when the Angels beat the Giants in Game 7 of the 2002 World Series. But those were the Giants. These are the Red Sox, and they steal dreams.
Last pitch: 11:40 p.m. Tampa Bay went nuts in celebration at 11:41. Within 10 minutes, the Rays were circling the field, spraying fans with champagne, jumping up and high-fiving them. And who could blame them? The Rays may have been too young and dumb to realize they were supposed to choke this series away, but they sure are special.
"I know our guys will be down for a little while, but they have no reason to hang their heads," Red Sox manager Terry Francona said of a season filled with injuries and transition. And he's right.
If you're a Red Sox fan, you hate that your team lost. But if you're any kind of baseball fan, you can't hate the Rays for winning.
Locally, there was some baseball news of note. The Milwaukee Brewers announced that they'd signed General Manager Doug Melvin to a contract extension, would make a solid contract offer to free agent pitcher CC Sabathia and would NOT consider Dale Sveum for the field manager's job next season.
Sveum, of course, is crushed. He played for the Brewers, he pulled the team from the brink of elimination to make the playoffs and believed that he'd get a fair shot at managing on a full-time basis.
Melvin insists that he wants someone with previous managing success and the list of possibles includes many of the usual subjects. Still, this columnist's prediction -- a month ago, I might add -- is still Bob Brenly.
Brenly, the former Arizona manager now broadcasting Chicago Cubs games for WGN, certainly has seen the Brewers and other National League Central clubs many times in that role, and he fits the “previous success” qualification by leading the Diamondbacks to the 2001 World Series title.
Moreover, after watching both teams over the last few years, Brenly should have tremendous insight into what the Brewers need to do to overtake the Cubbies in the NL Central.
Curb your enthusiasm, but the Wisconsin Badgers are projected to go to the Motor City Bowl. (Yeah, baby, Detroit in December sure beats Florida on New Year's Day, ainna hey!)
Admittedly, Darst isn't sold on Wisconsin, and even said (after taking a longer look at UW): "wow, I'm looking at the schedule, not sure they can make it."
Darst is thinking UW will end up at 6-6 - but might need a three-game winning streak to close the season to get there. More of his reasoning: "But yes, out of 11 teams, 2 to the BCS, Indiana and Purdue out, Wisconsin is projected as the last team to get in -- Motor City bowl."
Still, the Badgers weren't even the biggest disappointment in the country last Saturday, not even the biggest flop in the Big Ten. That dubious honor goes to Michigan State, which laid a big fat egg on network TV in losing BIG to Ohio State.
The Detroit Free Press' Mitch Albom (yes, he still actually writes a column like the rest of us ink stained wretches) gives Sparty the big thumbs-down.
The weather was perfect, the stadium was packed and the whole town was pounding with green-and-white optimism.
And then the game started.
And Ohio State pulled the Spartans’ pants down.
Not ready. Not yet. The records suggested that Michigan State was an elite team, but records are just numbers. The field tells the tale. And on the field, there were the Big Boys and there were the Wannabes. Before this game was 15 minutes old, it told an age-old story about one team that has done it and one team that is still dreaming about it.
“What’s the one thing you did well today?” someone asked MSU defensive coordinator Pat Narduzzi, after the 45-7 drubbing.
“I thought we did a good job in warm-ups,” he said.
Unfortunately, you missed those. What you saw was one team, on the road, that was more than ready for the big stage, and one team, at home, that was still in make-up.
And now the Spartans have must guard against their dreaded second-half-of-the-seasonitis. Plenty of MSU teams start out hot, and by November have cooled to mediocre. Should the Green and White lose next weekend to arch-rival Michigan, not only will the polish have come off this team, it will need a paint job.
Oh, the Badgers limp back home from their debacle at Iowa to face an Illinois team that crushed Indiana last Saturday, 55-13.
And you can expect a healthy number of Illini fans in town for Homecoming. In their Sunday Travel section, the Chicago Sun-Times obliged the Oskee Wow Wow faithful with suggestions on where to go and what to do --claiming Mad City Offers More Than Football.
No trip to Wisconsin would be complete without carting home cheese. Get your dairy fill at Fromagination, an artisan cheese shop at 12 S. Carroll St., on Capitol Square; www.fromagination. com, (608) 255-2430.
Almost as famous as Wisconsin's cheese is its bratwurst. Try State Street Brats, 603 State St., for its sports bar scene, burgers, chicken wings and of course, the brats; www.statestreetbrats.com, (608) 255-5544.
Speaking of food, the Dane County Farmers Market boasts more than 300 vendors and completely encircles the Capitol. It runs from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays. All the produce and products on sale -- ranging from veggies to honey to meats -- were raised by the folks selling them; www.dcfm.org/wandw.asp.
For a special treat, make a dinner reservation at the widely acclaimed L'Etoile Restaurant, 25 N. Pinckney St. Named Sante Magazine's Culinary Hospitality Restaurant of the Year for 2008, L'Etoile's seasonal menus are based on ingredients from small Midwestern farms prepared with French flare; www.letoile-restaurant.com, (608) 251-0500.
Next door to L'Etolie is a traditional Wisconsin supper club, Old Fashioned, 23 N. Pinckney St. Dig into the beer-battered cheese curds, 16-ounce ribeye steak and rainbow trout; www.theoldfashioned.com, (608) 310-4545.
So, apparently, these cheese-seeking FIB's can't be expected to waddle any farther than State Street and Capitol Square. Hey, while you're at it, check out some Illinoise cuisine at the FIB's cart on the other end of State Street -- on the Library Mall. And by the way, it's Mad Town, NOT Mad City.
Finally, we lost somebody special this weekend. Perhaps the greatest voice in American soul music history was stilled on Friday as Levi Stubbs Jr. passed away.
That voice -- rough, raw, intense -- remains a fixture on the American music landscape, unmistakable on such evergreen Four Tops hits as "Reach Out I'll Be There," "Bernadette," "Standing in the Shadows of Love" and "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)."
Motown founder Berry Gordy Jr. paid homage in a statement: "Levi was the greatest interpreter of songs I've ever heard. ... I remember when we heard their first Motown release, 'Baby I Need Your Loving.' Levi's voice exploded in the room and went straight for our hearts. We all knew it was a hit, hands down."
Unlike Marvin ####e, who used his voice to caress, or Smokey Robinson, whose silky croon sparkled, Stubbs headed straight for the guts of his notes, summoning a distinctive grit and fire. For most vocalists, the perky melody in the lines "sugar pie, honey bunch" was an invitation to go sunny and sweet. For Stubbs, it was a chance to insist -- to plead, cajole, declare, demand.
Ann Arbor's Chris Rizik, who runs the popular music site SoulTracks.com and calls Stubbs his all-time favorite vocalist, said Friday's news prompted an outpouring of tributes and reminiscing from fans around the world.
"The larger population might not even know the name. But to anybody who's a soul music fan, this is like royalty dying," said Rizik. "People are going to be talking about this for a long time. In the deep soul community, this will resonate just as much as Marvin ####e's death."
Do yourself a favor and rent the Motown 25 Anniversary special. In it, witness a recreation of one of the greatest moments and most vivid experiences in American soul music history.
Levi Stubbs' Four Tops would face often off in a mock duel with fellow Motowners, the Temptations and Stubbs would invariably steal the show. The Tops would sing a clip of one of their hits and the Temps would retaliate with one of theirs.
Watch the scene in Motown 25, when suddenly in the midst of "I Know I'm Losing You," Stubbs cuts in front of Dennis Edwards to scream...
"...it's all over your face, someone's taken your place, oooooh, baby, am I losin you..."
As for me, I've had the same verse going again and again in the back of my brain.
"...it's the same old song...but it's a different meaning since you've gone..."
John Kruk isn't a baseball analyst, he just plays one on TV.
Look, John Kruk the player was a joy to behold, for fan and sportswriter alike. Not blessed with the most athletic physique, the Krukster got the absolute most out of his talents and nearly everybody he played with at every single level lists him among their most favorite teammates.
And he was a quote machine. In an age when ballplayers were growing more and more angry and downright belligerant, John Kruk would always give you a couple minutes of his time
And he was funny. As a Philadelphia Phillie, Kruk once observed, ‘It’s easy to be a sportswriter. All you have to do is put on 40 pounds and wear clothes that don’t match.’
Of course, recently in Milwaukee, Frank Deford, an actual journalist, countered, “Now that Mr. Kruk is a journalist after a fashion on ESPN, he proves that point every time he’s on the air.”
Yes, I loved John Kruk as a player and fountain of frothy glorious quotes. But John Kruk, the so-called journalist is an intellectual train wreck. His sentence construction is made up of popsicle sticks.
The column by Slate's Ben Mathis-Lilley asks why the thinking man's game -- baseball -- is being explained on television by the worst analysts? It would be bad enough if Kruk were the exception and not the rule, but why are we being subjected to absolutely terrible analysis during baseball's post-season.
And it's not as if ESPN doesn't have some top rate baseball analysts. Baseball Tonight employs several experts with actual expertise: Hall of Fame writer Peter Gammons, lovably excitable reporter Tim Kurkjian, and ESPN.com regulars Buster Olney and Jayson Stark are all knowledgable with the capacity to share their expertise. Still, they're drowned out by a veritable plethora of eminantly awful space-fillers.
Mathis-Lilley cites a recent edition of Baseball Tonight, where Eric Young's scouting report on C.C. Sabathia consisted of "He can dominate with the inside fastball as well as the outside fastball," all said over video of Sabathia throwing a curveball.
Do you want cheese with that?Slate.com also noticed that the Milwaukee Brewers might have been the fattest team in recent memory.
Justin Peters claims that Milwaukee's 40-man roster features 12 players who weigh 220 pounds or more, including the (allegedly) 270-pound Prince Fielder, the 290-pound Sabathia, and Seth McClung, who ballooned to 475 pounds when he ate then-manager Ned Yost on Sept. 15. (The Brewers claim Yost was fired, but then how do you explain the ketchup stains on McClung's jersey?)
Catch some Rays? Maybe not. Those plucky Tampa Bay Rays stand a couple games away from sending Red Sox Nation into the winter of their discontent. John Herbert, a longtime Rays' beat writer observes how far the team has come and how much more pleasant it is to cover a winner.
In the bad old days of the last decade, any admission that I was from the Tampa Bay area was met with abject sympathy and even an occasional, "You poor old sod. Won't you ever learn how to play baseball in Tampa?"
I don't have to sweat those trips any longer. Tampa Bay's baseball team has done us very proud. The dream team has gone from worst to first, reminding me of the "incredible" New York Mets of a couple of generations ago.
The Rays have done for Tampa Bay what the local chamber of commerce has been trying to do for years: to give the area some much-needed and consistent front-page publicity all across the nation.
Where did the mojo go? Instead of waxing poetic about our teams, suddenly our teams are getting waxed.
We were kings of the world, universally hated by sports fans across the land. Life was a nonstop sequence of banner hoistings and ring celebrations. We grew arrogant, cocky, entitled.
Now the Patriots are an ordinary team with a no-name quarterback, getting pummeled, 30-10, much to the titillation of a national television audience hungry for New England blood.
And the Red Sox, winners of two of the last four World Series and favorites to repeat in the fall of 2008, find themselves trailing the once-laughable Tampa Bay Rays, two games to one, in the American League Championship Series. The Rays, deemed not ready for prime time playoffs by David Ortiz just a couple of days ago, routed the indomitable Jon Lester, 9-1, at Fenway Park yesterday. Who's the scaredy cat now?
This is not to overreact to the Red Sox' plight. The Sox last year trailed the Indians, 3-1, in the ALCS, then roared back to win the next three and sweep the Rockies in the World Series.
But yesterday's lopsided loss to the Rays stunned a Nation still reeling from the Patriots' Sunday night debacle in San Diego. Suddenly Big Papi is Big Popup. Boy Wonder Jacoby Ellsbury is 0 for his last 20 and has fans begging for Coco Crisp. Josh Beckett, Mr. October of this century, is serving more meatballs than Bertucci's. Jason Varitek looks as though he might calcify in mid-swing. Terry Francona has forfeited his hardball Mensa membership and is hearing words he never heard in the Bible.
Moreover, I would argue that the Red Sox have become the new Yankees -- believing in their own manifest destiny that they cannot fathom any other outcome. As the late great Lowell George once put it, the people you misuse on the way up, you meet up on the way down.
It Ain't The Shoes, it's the funky numbers on the helmet
In yet another example of how TV football analysts are soooooo much better than their baseball counterparts, ESPN"s Jamal Anderson reminded viewers that --- everybody, all together, ON ANY GIVEN MONDAY -- anyone can beat anyone in the NFL. Sure enough, the previously hapless Browns dominated the previously unbeaten New York Giants on Monday Night Football.
In fact, in the Department of Cliches portion of our show, the New York Daily News' headline reads, Giants show it's any given Monday in NFL.
Still, I don't believe it had anything to do with any of that. It was the funky ole school numbers on the helmets. One look at that and the G-Men were toast!
Finally, Ringo Starr is mad as hell and he's not gonna take it any more. The good-natured drummer, who also enjoyed a brief acting career after star turns in Beatles' films "A Hard Day's Night" and "Help!," guest starred on a 1991 episode of "The Simpsons" in which he is shown scrupulously answering every piece of fan mail that comes his way.
"They took the time to write to me, and I don't care if it takes 20 years, I'm going to answer every one of them," Starr says on the show.
In his mail, he finds a package from Marge Simpson that contains a portrait she painted of him back in the Beatles heyday. He puts it on his wall and writes back to tell her — a few decades late — how much he likes her painting.
Well, not any more, man. The former Beatle has told the BBC that will no longer sign memorabilia for fans and will throw away all fan mail he receives in the future.
"Please do not send fan mail to any address you have," he said in a video message on his website.
"Nothing will be signed after the 20th of October. If that is the date on the envelope, it's gonna be tossed.
"I'm warning you with peace and love I have too much to do," the 68-year-old drummer said.
Dressed in black clothes and dark glasses, Starr said it was "a serious message to everybody watching".
He added: "No more fan mail and no objects to be signed. Nothing."
Starr, who released his most recent album Liverpool 8 in January, recently completed a tour of the US and Canada. In April, a foliage sculpture of Starr outside a railway station in Liverpool was beheaded by vandals.
The performer had reportedly angered some locals when he told the BBC's Jonathan Ross he missed nothing about the city.
When stupid hair is outlawed, only outlaws will have stupid hair
Keith Olbermann has already beaten me to creating a Worst Person In The World list, featured nightly on MSNBC's Countdown, but I'd still like to nominate Lincoln Middle School Principal Curtis Davis in Manatee County, Florida for the honors.
12 year old Zachary Sharples, his father and his 4-year-old brother trucked to the barber shop last weekend and all got Mohawks in solidarity with the Tampa Bay Rays winning their first playoff series.
That proved his undoing when he showed up for class at Lincoln Middle School in Palmetto in Manatee County on Monday: He was summarily dumped into an in-school suspension for violating the dress-code.
"I was in the gym, waiting for the bell to ring, and the principal came up to me and said we are not allowed to have mohawks in school," Zachary told the Suncoast News.
The principal brought him to the guidance office, and the counselor confided in Zachary that she too was a Rays fan, but that mohawks violate school policy and Zach had to pay the price.
"I had to go into something called camp," he said. "It was one room, the whole day and I couldn't do anything. I just had to sit there."
There is a happy ending of sorts as young Zach's family is moving and his new school won't have a problem with his rather ugly haircut. Still, what kind of #### bans a haircut? If he thought the mohawk would become a distraction to learning, then what was the suspension and subsequent media storm that followed it?
It was a painful reminder for me of when my former step-daughter was in school. It seemed as if each year brought a new litany of rules and regulations -- each one intended to instill some kind of discipline and respect. These "law and order" types never have a clue that they're just making fools out of themselves and instead teaching the kids that too many grownups have an enormous stick up their collective ####.
Why do so many self-styled idiots make rule after rule and restriction after restriction upon youngsters -- forgetting that they themselves were young and stupid once upon a time? Because they can, of course. As Eddie Cochran told us all fifty years ago, "I'd like to help you, son, but you're too young to vote."
Of course, the national TV networks aren't especially thrilled to see Tampa Bay and not the New York Yankees in post-season play. The Daily Commercial, a Lake Country, Florida paper sums up their horror.
Fox television executives are likely sticking pins in a Tampa Bay bobblehead, hoping to keep the Rays out of the World Series. In the sordid world of television ratings, a Philadelphia-Tampa Bay World Series would be the worst thing since "Cop Rock." Who knows? By beating the Red Sox in six games to set up the "dreaded" Tampa Bay-Philadelphia World Series, maybe the Rays can force broadcasters into joining everyone in 2008, instead of dwelling on the past.
And since those Tampa Bay Rays are facing the Boston Red Sox, it's surely time for the provincial and parochial East Coastie media to start looking down their noses at the hopelessly tradition-barren Floridians. The Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy kicks off the snobbery.
It's not the Yankees this time. No century of history, no House That Ruth Built, no famous facade in the backdrop. It's not Cleveland with Bob Feller throwing out the first pitch. It's not Chicago with ancient references to Eddie Collins, Black Sox, South Siders, and cheapskate Charles Comiskey.
No. We're a little thin on tradition this time. The Red Sox are playing the Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Championship Series and it reminds me o####raig Nettles line when he found himself playing for the San Diego Padres after a long run with the Yankees. Dressed in his Padres UPS-driver uniform, pining for his old Yankee pinstripes, Nettles said, "You really notice it on Old Timer's Day. In New York we had Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, and Whitey Ford walking into Yankee Stadium. Here it's Nate Colbert coming back trying to sell you a used car."
Still, the column did contain a humorous recollection of the time they tried to have an NHL preseason hockey in the Rays' home dome, Tropicana Field -- then called the Suncoast Dome.
The Bruins' Chris "Knuckles" Nilan was one of the first skaters to notice a problem with the ice surface. The sheet was soft and chippy and green slime oozed from exposed pipes when players skated during warm-ups. Fans booed during an hourlong delay while Dome officials tried to correct the problem. Finally, the game was canceled. More boos. But it was a good move in the name of safety.
Had the game been played, said wise guy Nilan, "They would be calling this the Knuckledome."
Does anybody else out there think that it's waaaaaaay too early for the start of hockey season anyway? I mean, what's the hurry? It's just a sad reminder that summer is gone and we might as well start finding our gloves and boots.
Still, the Detroit Free Press' Drew Sharp believes that the game's return could be a tonic to a city in the crosshairs of the economic meltdown.
For a few hours Thursday night, Detroit wasn't home to a scandal that will land its former mayor in jail or increasingly distressing economic news from the automotive industry. It wasn't home to bad baseball or even worse football.
There was finally something worth smiling about, something that didn't instinctively make you recoil in apprehension at the mere mention of the city's name.
The Red Wings struck one final pose with the Stanley Cup, then immediately distanced themselves from what was the old achievement and what's now the new objective. It's the lingering aftertaste of champagne and echoes of worship from appreciative fans four months after the last game that contributes to "Stanley Cup hangover."
But if they're seeking a motivational underdog they can embrace, they need look no further than their own city.
The Tigers were a disaster. The Lions remain a disaster.
Michigan football struggles through a transitional period while the Pistons introduced another new coach while returning pretty much the same roster.
And there remained pockets of empty seats at Joe Louis Arena on Thursday, more evidence of the devastating effects of the economic climate. It's not a question of taking the Wings and their remarkable consistency -- 17 straight playoff appearances -- for granted. It's simply a matter of money becoming tighter.
"[Jones] is completely idiotic in this situation," began Smith, who once had his own Quite Frankly show on ESPN.
He was just warming up.
"I’m really ticked off right now," Smith continued. "Because one of the things that I think a lot of people can’t say, but obviously I can say being an African-American, I don’t see too many white players getting into these kinds of situations."
Smith outlined three years of "trials and tribulations" for A. "P" Jones and one major "second chance" given by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.
"It’s entirely embarrassing," Smith said. "As an African-American, I’m really getting sick and tired of having to sit up here and give some kind of explanation as to why these guys find themselves in this situation.
"My last comment: White players are not finding themselves in these situations. We’ve got to start taking a look at ourselves."
Finally, there's certainly been a deluge of race-baiting by the Republicans and their friends, since they're terrified one of THEM(and you know what I mean) might actually get elected President, but I would still like to explain something to people who saw the angry white folks frothing at the mouth in Wisconsin on their television sets.
Waukesha County, where that election rally took place, is the home of white flight in my home state of Wisconsin. It's the home of Congressman F. James "what are all those brown people doing here?" Sensenbrenner. And it's where all the Milwaukeeans moved to get away from them goshdarned coloured folks and so they're pretty darn upset about it, you betcha.
Still, just mentioning that squeaky Reptile's name (and yes, his voice has always been that irritating) brought to mind a column by a colleague and former editor Joel McNally.
McNally once wrote that Sensenbrenner was the kind of person who never realized calling himself F. James gave his opponents a ready-made campaign slogan.
John Shivers is in his 25th season as a journalist -- for the least two years producing and hosting a funk music show -- Back In The Day w/ Johnny Rasta -- on WSUM 91.7FM Madison, WI. Started in radio as a Morning Sports Reporter and Late Night DJ with WMAD 92FM. Served a quarter-centu ry as a sportswriter most recently, for the Milwaukee Shepherd Express, including stints as a beat reporter covering Major League Baseball (Milwaukee Brewers) and college football and basketball (Wisconsin, Marquette & UW-Milwaukee) . Born on January 5, 1957, John is the great-grandso n of slaves who first homesteaded in Wisconsin in the 1840's. He holds a BA in Broadcast Journalism (2001) from UW-Milwaukee with a Minor in Africology. John, now single, resides in Madison, WI with his beloved kittie: Black Jack (McDowell)
"Gear!"
