Everyone take a seat, Kaz Matsui you can stand, and  I will explain what needs to be explained.. Remember nerds, the Dirt is about going in on the inside for questions. I have seen the concerns and I will take them on full force to put your minds at ease.

Golfers, don't hate on Tiger!!

Yes, it is true. A good 60 % of newpapers this morning had headlines dealing with Tiger's crumble, as opposed to that one South African guy that won. Guess what??? Deal with it!

Pro golfers remind me of the little frat geek that would push the real athlete at a bar, then get behind his ten older, bigger brothers that really aren't his brothers at all. Face it geeks! Tiger is a more interesting story than all of the other winners of the Masters combined. Win or Lose. Right now he is golf. So chill out Scooter Robert Maxwell the 15th, your geek got his green jacket, enjoy. It doesn't mean everyone has to acknowledge it.

 Jim Nantz wants you to cry!!

What is it with Jim Nantz and The Masters??? CBS has turned that thing in to one giant funeral. The piano in the background mixed with Jim's tone, YIKES!!!! Why the hell does everything have to be so sad?? At this rate, next year will have baby seals being clubbed and pictures of lost puppies during commercial breaks. This isn't a ballet CBS, leave the pink shorts and silver leggings at home. Give the soft stuff to Jim Rome and his " Entertainment Boy's".

Hey Kaz, how is Uranus!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone get Kaz a beer and some hemorrhoid cream!!!!!

It is bad enough this guy has to play in the state of Texas,  now he is known as the guy who got put on the DL with an anal fissure.

I don't know what the hell an anal fissure is, but I do know I wouldn't want my team physcian disclosing that info if I had one.

There are three truths in this world. " What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." " Don't eat the yellow snow." and, " Whats happens to your #### is none of our business."

For some reason, the Astro's didn't get the memo on the last one. 

Kaz, if you can stand buddy, I would kick some arse.. Or at least hit someone with your newly prescribed cushion.

And That Is The Inside Dirt.