The Super Bowl is almost here. Don't worry gang, no predictions from this guy. Not after the embarrassment now known as “The Ohio State Thing."  Nope, Les Miles took all my confidence. I don't know how people like Lee Corso do it. Being wrong for a living has got to take its toll.

Anyway, I figure I would take a different route this week at the Dirt and give the readers a little take home gift. Just think of it as my covered dish for that super bowl party.  Print it, email it, whatever.... discuss, argue and most of all.... ENJOY!!!

1.) First Tom, then Tony, is the next guy Eli???

 Hear me out on this one. Eli has spent his career thus far under the shadow of his brother. If he wins this thing on Sunday, look out!!! Not only will he be bigger than his brother (for the moment), but he may bump Tom and Tony. I can see the New York Times headline now. “Eli Spotted With Paris at New York Hot Spot, New Sex Tape Leaked On To Internet." They will call that one “Fourth and Short."

2.) Nobody goes to Hooters for wings!

So I thought. This may be the false statement of the decade. First, the Hooter girl just ain't what she used to be. Second, I went to a Hooters recently, and I got to tell ya'. I loved those wings. So, from now on, that will be the only reason I do go to a Hooters, for wings!!! However, I have not gotten to go to the one in Maui, but I have heard good things.

3.) Where my girls at??!!!!

Guys stop the discussion and forget about Hooters!!! Turn directly to that girl you made wear the Patriots jersey, give her a hug, a smooch and a high - five. She deserves it. Don't get me wrong it is damn sexy you got your girl to watch the game and more so to cheer and drink. But if you think for five minutes she is not planning the cross attack for this one, you are CRAZY!!!! Maybe a play, shoe shopping, extra snuggling, I don't know. The possibilities are endless. Regardless, the sacrifice has not gone unnoticed by me. So I toast a beer to you girls. Thanks for playing along and looking good while doing it. Next year we will go to that parade, I promise....

4.) Is Jim Rome Burning.... or Flaming?

I have followed Jim Rome's career for some time. His radio show, getting knocked out by Jim Everett, the pad he has up on Mulholland Drive, they are all interesting. But I have to admit, his forum guests are weak!!!!!!! I find it extremely hard to listen to a guys opinion on a sport subject, and then see that same guy an hour later on a different show telling me what dresses the Celebrities will be wearing this summer and why. I know it is Los Angeles Jim, but come on buddy!!! Let the Entertainment Tonight people do their thing and you do yours.

5.) Quick!!! Everyone take a time out and get some grub!!!!!

I think I am going to make some wings for the game. The key is to marinate them in brown sugar and Pepsi first. Don't knock it until you try it. Instead of hot sauce, try blending ranch dressing, wasabi and roasted red peppers. Coat your wings in that and bake at 450. The Pepsi makes it sweet and the wasabi adds fire. Serve it with a Fat Weasel Pale Ale and she just might be wearing that jersey as a night gown. Ya KNOW!!!!!!

6.) Tummy's full? How about those commercials???

This is the most intriguing part of the game.  You think I am wrong? Ok. If you are at a bar for the game, look around and notice the number of people who watch the opening kick off. Then, watch the number of people who look up to see the first commercial. Compare your findings. You will see what I mean. Lately, the commercials have lost the funny. Too much internet computer stuff. They need to bring back the Frogs and Lizards. Speaking of which, if you don't already feel old, that commercial aired in 1995. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7.) Two of the greatest then, now, not so much...

Ask anyone about the Star Spangled Banner and before you can finish the banner part, someone will say Whitney Houston. As they should. She rocked the Anthem during a war time Super Bowl that to this day, still gives me chills. Now think back to one of the hottest halftime shows.  Britney Spears with those socks on her hands singing Aerosmith ring a bell? That was the first time across America men didn't get up to get a fresh beer during the halftime show. Even grandpa was not moving!!! Now, times have changed. One is only known for "Crack being Whack", and the other might shave her head and try to beat your butt with an oversized golf umbrella. Oh well, don't let it ruin the nachos.

8.) I have a joke for you. It is based on a true story

I saw Jose Canseco at the Grove in Los Angeles last weekend. I have to admit, I was a little giddy. Hey, sports fans are sports fans. I know the guy was dirty, but it was neat to see him. He is huge by the way. Anyway, it got me thinking, what was Jose doing at the Grove? Then it hit me. Someone must have told him the Farmer's Market has a really good Juice Bar... get it?? Juice Bar. WAH WAH!!!!!!

9.) Homage to the greatest pause in sports history.

Jeremy Schapp with ESPN. Not only is he a great reporter but he has also perfected a pause that now many at that station try to mimic. Sadly they can not. His dad did it well, but Jeremy has the right amount of lisp and diction that makes it so cool. I'm Jeremy Schapp, ES................................................
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........................PN.  I love it.  

10.) Finally!!! A final thought.

Don't forget while you are watching the game on Sunday that there are still some cities that do not have the fortune of having a Pro Football Team. Los Angeles would be the next in line for this gift, but I worry we would screw it up out here. Football needs fans to survive and prosper. Trendiness like it is the newest night club will not work. Here is my point. I talked to a person last week about their first L.A Lakers experience. They said it was awesome. They saw Brad Pitt, Chad Michael Murray and Ashton Kutcher. I replied, "That was neat, who were the Lakers playing?" This person replied, “You know, I don't remember." I guess some cities deserve what they deserve.

AND THAT IS THE INSIDE DIRT