I have noticed a trend of bloggers making a play on players names…for example I was reading a blog and someone called Curt Shilling Curt Shi tling. Okay I find that pretty pathetic, and not being one to shy away from a pathetic attempt at a blog I thought I’d give it a try with a few of my favorite names in sports that have been getting some ink. Please throw in your worst attempts at making a name for somebody. Here goes.
Lenny Dykstroids – Kind of a mix between steroids and asteroids, or asterisk.
Roger Clemensjection – You know, the kind in your belly button.
Brianabolic Roberts – Anabolictastic, I swear it was the red contact lenses.
Rafael Palsyringeo – I mean, this one jumped right out at me.
Beneedle Santiago – He could throw from his knees.
This is not a good trade for the Angels if you’re talking about them being a better candidate for the World Series. Lucky for the moronic Angels fans that’s what Moreno is counting on, and he definitely knows how to make money.
#1 Buy a team in the “wealthiest” region in America #2 Change the name to include more of the region, when in reality he knows no real baseball fan will go to an Angels game instead of a Dodgers game #3 Count on those wimpy Orange County dads with their fake wives and whiney kids to shell out countless dollars because Miguel and Vlad are on the same team #4 Realize that you have no intention of winning, just providing the idea that you want to win as made apparent by your shrewd trade to bring in a “bopper” #5 Trade away your no names that used to be the cornerstone of your organization so the new cornerstone of making more money is more attainable #6 Re-hire the Rex dog after he got busted for pot because that’s what all the rich orange county wimpy dads can relate to
P.S. Howie Kendrick
P.S.S. This post is mostly a Moreno lambasting if you hadn't noticed
Why haven’t McGwire, Sosa, and Palmeiro been indicted for lying in front of Congress? What about the illegal purchase of HGH by players such as by Byrd and Ankiel? Shouldn’t they also be held responsible in some way? What about Giambi and the rules and laws he broke. I would take this issue more seriously if the indictment playing field was level.
Brian Urlacher has his own blog? Wowsers, I wonder if he'll respond to my comments... golly gee I sure hope so.
I was comforted to know, after seeing David Stern's interview on ESPN this morning, that the commish is satisfied with his investigation into the referee scandal. Mr. Stern came to this enlightened state of nirvana while laying in bed one evening and thinking of all the CIA and FBI scandals that cost thousands of people their lives. These spies, moles, and leaks at our highest level of American intelligence lent Stern the idea that having a cheater ref in "his" league was okay. Luckily for us with all of the investigations, there is no proof that Tim Two Times altered the outcome of any game. If you don't find this asinine...
Joe Torre and Donnie Baseball in Dodger Blue? I furrow my brow at the thought.
If I broke the Girardi as a candidate for the Yankees managerial job in a blog before it was released in regular print media, do I get credit for the leak?
Do even the Colts fans think their team has a shot this week?
#1 BoSox Roll - What a huge disappointment from a fans perspective. I was really looking forward to a great World Series that went at least 6 games. You can try and come up with the reasons why Colorado could not hang with Boston, but the fact of the matter is Boston was too good. Its amazing how these good teams end up "cruising" through the regular season with a 3.87 team ERA, then the get to the playoffs and turn it up a notch. With their backs against the wall they smoked the two best teams left standing seven games in a row. I wonder where Lowell will end up and how much this season will cost the team that signs him.
#2 Top 5 BCS Contenders - Last week these were my top five contenders: 1) Ohio State, 2) Boston College, 3) Arizona State, 4) LSU, and 5) Oklahoma. Looks like nothing changes, with these five, but BC looked very beatable and Arizona States victory was pretty impressive in Tempe. Problem with the Sun Devils is running the table looks pretty unlikely, but if they do it, how can you keep them out? Lets add two more top conteders to the list: 6) Kansas - could it be? 7) Oregon - its either them or ASU.
#3 Tom Brady? - This is shaping up into being the most dominant statistical seasons in the history of all of sports. Brady is on the way to having a Madden '08 season. Let's project his stats: 4862 yards/60 TDs/4 INTs/136.2 QB RTG/4 SUPER BOWLS. I think he's worth the $16 mil, I think Moss is worth the $8.25 mil, and I think Welker is worth the $0.5 mil. I'm not sure if next weeks game will even be a game. I'll take the Pats and give the Colts whatever it lands on. I'll even wait until Sunday to lay my money down.
#4 A Rod Says Thanks, But No Thanks To $72 Mil - This may be viewed as quite a gamble, but I guess it speaks for A-Rod's discontent in N.Y. I think Alex told Boras, "I don't care what is costs, get me out of the Bronx, and I'll cover what you lose." The Rangers will save $3 mil over the next three years, and will allow them to continue rebuilding after a nice set of trades near the end of last season. Although I have not recieved much support of my opinion that A-Rod will end up a Giant, but mark my words, its where he's going. The Giants are going to dump Zito and sign A-Rod to whatever he wants and make him a shortstop again. Expect it to be in the $30 mil range, and most if not all to be guaranteed.
#1) The BCS Rankings and Top Contenders - The clamoring has begun and the pundits are making their expert opinions heard. Herbstreit is doing his usual brainwashing, May is giving his annual underdog spiel, Holtz is spitting food all over himself, and Corso is giving us his best Madden impression. I'll help you get through all the muck going into this weekend. Column #1 gives the top 5 undefeated candidates in order, column #2 has the top 5 1 loss teams, and column three gives the top 5 candidates for the NC:
Undefeateds
Ohio State (Big Ten) Its obvious if they run the table they'll get in, lets just hope they don't
B.C. (ACC) Again, the inside track to the NC if they can win out
Arizona State (Pac 10) It will be nearly impossible for any PAC 10 team to run the table
Kansas (Big 12) Long way to go, plus a conference championship game will hurt them
Hawaii (WAC) In the same boat as Boise State last year, no real chance
1-Loss
LSU (SEC) You know an SEC school will be there in the end, this is my choice
Oklahoma (Big 12) The best chance of any Big 12 team, Kansas isn't too promising
USC (Pac 10) See note for the Sun Devils
Kentucky (SEC) They can beat anybody, I have them slightly ahead of South Carolina
Oregon (Pac 10) I'd like another Big Ten school in here but there's none to choose from
Top Candidates
Ohio State has no real challenges on their schedule, even if they lose I have a feeling they'd slide back up the rankings. The pollsters love the Big Ten in the NC.
Boston College is obviously up there because they haven't lost yet, if they run the table it will be tough to dethrone them.
Arizona State is three, but hanging on for dear life. The Pac 10 schedule is going to make it tough for anyone, especially without a conference title game to boost a one loss team going into the next to last poll.
LSU has got to get by Auburn this week. This is my underdog pick of the weekend, I have a good feeling about Tuberville's team getting healthy again but I'll leave LSU as a top contender.
Oklahoma once again the perennial teams have the advantage. With a nice finish to their season and a little help you might want to write them in. If you're gonna lose, do it early.
#2 Colorado Waits - The postseason is heating up in Major League Baseball. The AL series is a complete coin flip. The only problem for the Sox is they can't throw Beckett again unless Francona goes nuts. The series is heading back to Beantown and Manny is hot as a firecracker. I love to see a little fire, and I would have laid 10 to 1 that Beckett would have snapped Lofton's neck in two.
#3 Who Manages the Yanks in '08? - There aren't too many people around baseball that don't think Torre is getting absolutely hosed. I understand if they want to let him go because he's old, but let's not make a spectacle of it. There's news going around that Mattingly has the inside track, but my gut says Joe Girardi would make more sense. I'd take the guy whose already managed in the big leagues. Torre can go sit under an umbrella in the Bahamas, but he deserves better than this.
#4 Nebraska Football - What the heck is going on in Lincoln? Osborne is back in the mix? Callahan may be gone before the season is over if you ask me. I can't imagine all this turn over can be good, anyway you look at it. This seems a lot like the Notre Dame situation. Nebraska may not win a game next year.
I've been reading posts over the past couple of days about the playoff teams this season and how "bad" they are. There was one in particular that used all of these far off numbers to prove that the Diamondbacks were the least deserving team to make the playoffs over the past couple of seasons (maybe in the history of baseball). I know its hard for the casual fan who actually doesn't know the game of baseball to really think this. The problem with todays fan is that they've grown up on two things: 1) The steroid era of baseball & 2) The video game era of baseball. What these two factors have caused is for the common fan, the football fan, the sportscenter highlight fan to really believe that the biggest names and the biggest and farthest homeruns, and the fastest pitches are what makes baseball fun to watch. This type of fan really believes that these criteria actually add up to wins. The problem is the teams that employ this type of management are actually doing it with the conscious effort of trying to make the most money and not actually trying to win a World Series. If you honestly believe that the Mets or Yankees would trade a World Series for $100 million then you've been fooled, too.
Lets look at the World Series winners in the 00s and the make up of their rosters, I will not write down every name, just the notables that jumped out at me:
2006 St. Louis Cardinals - No Name Players: Their middle infield consisted of David Eckstein and Ronnie Belliard. Their outfield included Chris Duncan, Preston Wilson, and So Taguchi. Their pitching staff included Jeff Weaver, Jeff Suppan, Adam Wainwright, and Braden Looper. They also had Scott Spezio. Big Name Players: were Jim Edmonds (.257, 19 home runs), Albert Pujols, and Scott Rolen (22 home runs, 95 RBIs). Only Pujols actually had a monster offensive season, both Rolen and Edmonds were/are on the downside of their careers. Conclusion: They won with the right mix of no one really knows.
2005 Chicago White Sox - No Name Players: Their middle infield consisted of Juan Uribe and Tado Iguchi. Their outfield included Carl Everett, Willie Harris and Scott Podsednik. Their pitching staff included Cliff Politte, Neal Cotts, Damaso Marte and Dustin Hermanson. Big Name Players: Jermaine Dye (31 HR, 86 RBIs), Paul Konerko (40 HR, 100RBIs), and Aaron Rowand (13 HRs, .270). Both Konerko and Dye had bigger years in 2006. What the White Sox did have in 2005 was a sweet pitching staff, but until 2005 no one knew those starters were that good. Conclusion: They won with the right mix of no one really knows, and Ozzie Guillen lit the right fire.
2004 Boston Red Sox - No Name Players: Kevin Millar, Gabe Kapler, Bill Mueller, Doug Mirabelli, Mark Bellhorn. On the mound it was Bronson Arroyo, Mike Timlin, Alan Embree. Big Name Players: Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, Johnny Damon, Curt Schilling, and Pedro Martinez (game 3 starter). Conclusion: This team obviously had more big name talent than recent teams who won the World Series. It still feels like Jason Varitek is the biggest part of this equation, I'd take him anyday on my team. To you video game fans, I'll admit this looks more like your type of team.
2003 Florida Marlins over NY Yankees - No Name Players: In the infield they had Luis Castillo, Alex Gonzalez, and Jeff Conine. In the outfield they had Miguel Cabrera (1st year in big leagues), Juan Pierre and Juan Encarnacion. On the mound they had Brad Penny, Ugueth Urbina, Mark Redman, Rick Helling, and Chad Fox. Big Name Players: Pudge Rodriguez, Derek Lee, and Josh Beckett (a stretch considering he had 17 career regular season wins going into that postseason). Conclusion: This team had nobody anyone wanted going into the season. This team made the players that people wanted.
2002 Anaheim Angels - No Name Players: David Eckstein, Brad Fullmer (almost killed me with a juiced foul ball), Scott Spiezio, Chone Figgins, Shawn Wooten, Orlando Palmeiro. On the mound they had Jarrod Washburn, Scott Schoeneweis, Ben Weber, Kevin Appier (likes llamas and camels), Francisco Rodriguez (5 career appearances going into that postseason). Big Name Players: Tim Salmon (22 HR, .286), Garrett Anderson (29 HR, 123 RBIs), Troy Glaus (30 HRs, 144 Ks, .250). Conclusion: Rally #### all day. I was at game 6, the Rally #### was for real.
2001 Arizona over NY Yankees - No Name Players: Danny Bautista, Craig Counsell, Tony Womack, Damian Miller. On the mound it was Byung Hyun Kim, Miguel Batista, and Albie Lopez. Big Name Players: Randy Johnson, and Curt Schilling. It goes no farther than that. Conclusion: Randy Johnson, and Curt Schilling.
2000 NY Yankees (87 win team) - No Name Players: Chuck Knoblauch (not fun to play cards with), Glenallen Hill, Clay Bellinger (great little league coach), Scott Brosius, Luis Polonia, Luis Sojo, and Jose Vizcaino. On the mound it was Jeff Nelson, Mike Stanton, and no other no names pitched in the series. Big Name Players: Not as many as you think. You can't consider Paul O'Neill a big name player in my book, but its obvious Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, Tino Martinez, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, David Justice were all big timers. Conclusion: Despite the star power it is nothing like what the Yankees have tried to do with stockpiling names. This still was only an 87 win team.
All I have to say is be careful what you wish for. Maybe you should just hope all your stars get hurt and you get lucky with an influx of young and hungry minor league talent. I just don't want you video game fans to miss out on possibly the best major league baseball season in 10+ years.
For a team with a fairly strong winning tradition the Giants are at an extreme low in their history. A commitment to Barry Bonds over winning has caused a fracture in the player personnel pipeline (which has been more through trades than minor leage development). Extreme caution has to be used during this offseason to get the Giants back to .500 in 2008 and hopefully back into the playoffs by 2009. The only way this will happen is through shrewd front office moves and putting the right people in the right place so they can afford some legit players. Projected lineup for the 2008 MLB season.
1. Rajai Davis (40+ bags in a full season) - CF After picking up Davis in the Matt Morris trade (thanks Pirates), Davis proved his speed at the top of the lineup is better than an injured Dave Roberts. An affordable player and a pretty good one.
2. Tadohito Iguchi (good situational hitter) - 2B The old middle infield needed an overhaul. Durham is still a good player but getting a serious guy with a ring seems important. I just like Iguchi so lets get him.
3. Alex Rodriguez (best hitter in the game) - SS The only way to get Rodriguez is to put him back in the middle of the field. How about Vizquel goes and A-Rod stays. You know the Giants are going to get an A player and the Yankees will take Zito off our hands.
4. Dmitri Young (20 yacks, 80 ribs) - 1B Why not? The guy was good, then got hurt, and the Nationals won't give him another contract. How about no more Aurilia.
5. Pedro Feliz (20 yacks, 80 ribs) - 3B A third baseman who can't hit for contact and and can't hit 3 or 4 either must really stink. Which Feliz does, but the Giants are in such bad shape he actually is pretty good, ugh.
6. Randy Winn (20 yacks, 80 ribs) - RF A very solid player and I like him. A good fit to drive in about 85 runs and he brings a little speed to the lineup also.
7. Bengie Molina (fat) - C Too lazy in my book and not a championship catcher but hit pretty well for being a ####.
8. Fred Lewis (lets see what he can do in a full season) - LF Its going to be weird not to see Barry in left, but this rounds out a decent lineup. There's not much protection in their for A-Rod but getting Andruw Jones is pretty unlikely and idiotic.
From a defensive perspective the outfield will be much faster to cover the spacious gaps on the cove. The left side of the infield is pretty stout with Feliz and Rodriguez, and I like Tado on the other side. Young is kind of a fill in but, better than Lance and Dicky Aurilia.
1. Matt Cain (R) - give him a defense and watch out
2. Tim Lincecum (R) - give him a defense and watch him lead the league in Ks
3. Noah Lowry (L) - nice changeup behind the two flame throwers at the top
4. Kevin Correia (R) - He looked pretty good in a starting roll. He's no Liriano, but he's alright
5. Jonathan Sanchez (L) - He needs to start and lets get ready for the 2009 playoffs
Closer - Brad Hennessey (R) - Picked up about 20 saves in half of a season. Seems alright to me.
It's never to early to talk rebuilding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In response to the recent realization that the most overused term on ESPN is "walk off..," I wanted to particiapate in the walk off craze. The other night me and my buddy are riding through Atlanta listening to the Braves broadcast and heard the audio replay for a walk off wild pitch. Pure excitement I tell you. It got us wondering why do they even have the stat "walk off rbi." Why not walk off run scored? Then we realized how appropriate and necessary the walk off stat is.
How about Ryan Braun is the league leader in walk off 3-2 pitches that would have been balls but were swung at to end the game.
Hanley Ramirez is the league leader in walk off pop-ups caught.
I even heard that Laz Diaz is the league leader in walk off called third strikes.
Here's more...
Pete Rose is the league leader in walk off broken legs.
Randy Johnson is the league leader in walk off exploding pigeons.
Outside of the game of baseball...
Dale Earnhardt Jr. is the league leader in walk off on your step mom's business.
Michael Vick is a dual league leader. He takes the cake in both walk off dead pit bulls in the ground and the league leader in walk off and turn in 30 other NFL players who participate in pit bull fighting.
The media and the fans have been ready and willing to bash the individuals who they've deemed deserve all of their steroid angst. As I think about the last 20 odd years of major league baseball I find it hard to pinpoint where it seems evident steroids infiltrated the national pasttime. The most glaring would be the Mark McGwire/Jose Canseco Oakland A's Bash Brothers.
Between the time of the Bash Brothers and home run 756 I wonder how many of our favorite players and least favorite too, have been on the juice. It might be altogether more justifiable to just erase the last 20 years of major league baseball completely.
Or maybe, even more appropriate than that, to embrace the last twenty years and not pin our hatred on one record breaking event that involved thousands of MLB participants. Don't you folks realize this is more than a one way street? Did you ever wonder how many of those 756+ home runs were hit off of a juiced up pitcher? A juiced up hitter versus a juiced up pitcher seems fair*. Hey wait, what if out of a few of those 756 the hitter wasn't on the juice at the time, but the pitcher was. Hmmm...
If the Mets happen to win the World Series with a PROVEN steroid user, a PROVEN cheat, I expect this World Series to go in the books with an *.
Did anyone catch the Barry Bonds interview last night during the homerun derby that was softballed by Peter Gammons????????? You people that bash Barry ought to be ashamed of yourselves. The man who has done more for baseball than Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa combined is saddened by your condemnations. You've gone and hurt his feelings. You've almost driven him away from the game. Barry is right, a third party accusation doesn't hold up in very many places. It seems that the most gullible folks get their opinions force fed to them by the media and then are unable to sift through the b.s. to find the truth. Ask yourself this question. How many of those guys in the homerun derby last night do you think use or have used steroids? If your answer is zero you're a buffoon. To all you zombies following the media's every snap of the fingers, think of poor Barry.
I hope to do these pieces through the MLB season. I'll chime in when I see fit. Peruse on.
The best offense in the league without a chance to make the playoffs, and the best chance to have their draft pick be in the bigs before the season is over. Tampa Bay Devil Rays This team is an exciting club with a great manager, and Don Zimmer. I would not bet against this team causing a lot of problems in the AL East next season. With Brignac and Longoria waiting in the minors, the most potent upsided offense, and tool players to trade. I wouldn't be surprised to see them in the World Series within three years. A well timed deadline trade this season could add a great arm to their staff and as soon as 2008 could be knocking at the door of the World Series.
The team most likely to implode before the season is over. Chicago White Sox I wonder how many fights are going to be in this dugout if the Pale Hoes don't start winning. A.J. Pierzynski is a ticking time bomb and Ozzie Guillen is a bigger and worse ticking time bomb. They had a magical year a few years back but this team will most likely finish last in the division.
The team most likely to be eliminated from playoff contention first. Texas Rangers It's not like I'm going out on a limb here. Statistically speaking their magic number is 83, the lowest in the bigs. You could say that the Royals, Reds, and Nationals would like to contend for this distinction, but I'll go with the faves. Other than an exciting middle infield, all they are left with is Slammin' Side Show. Teixiera just went on the shelf, and who's in that rotation again?? With regards to Rivjo, the A-Rod curse lives on not only in the Home of Starbucks, and the Bronx, but also in the Lone Star State.
The Division that doesn't look like anyone deserves to win. National League Central (National League West finishes a close second). I don't think anyone really expects the Brew Crew to stay atop this division. Most likely to win the division, gulp, Chicago Cubs. Heck they've gotten a bad rap up to this point, but if there is a manager in the bigs that can handle a situation like this its Coach Lou. If Coach can get the cancers out of the dugout that continue to question who's in the lineup everday, they have a pretty potent team. You heard it here first.
Best team in baseball. Oakland A's Have you checked their disabled list lately?? Let's see, if Bradley, and Harden, and Sreet, and Loaiza, and Duchscherer, and Kielty can get healthy, this team is sick. Hail Moneyball. Without a doubt the best team in baseball playing in the cavern that Al built. Too bad nobody in America gets to see them on ESPN because the all sports network has their #### in Steinbrenner's ####.
I hope to report back in a few weeks. Work has kept me busy and the lack of any interesting blogs has hindered my participation on the foxsports blogosphere.
Being a Giants fan I realize this post won't apply to most of you because I think I've only found 2 of you blogging. What you will understand is the type of player I am describing. You have to understand that I've been featured on sfgiants.com as of about 3 years ago asking why in the world Pedro Feliz still has a job. I don't think this good for nothing would even be a good third baseman in the minor leagues. I mean seriously, I'd rather go back to David Bell, or dare I say Edgardo Alfonzo. Since I moved away from California, and I can't get MLB extra innings because of the communists, I hadn't been seeing as much baseball as I wanted. Until of course I paid the extra $3 to get fox and wgn on my dish network account, and this is where I got flustered. I was watching the ChiSox on Thursday and watched AJ Peirzdiadensky (I spelled that wrong on purpose because I don't want to look it up and I don't want it to look like I actually tried to spell it correctly) hit a seven hopper to the second baseman to get the runner to third with one out. A sac fly promptly scored him. Later in the game someone bunted a guy up and then he scored on a ground ball. The Sox won that game 3-1 I believe.
Fast forward to Saturday's game of the week I picked up from Fox's feed out of the Bay Area. Pedro Feliz at his best, runner at second no outs. He hooks around a ball three times, the third one rolls to the third baseman with a runner at second and no outs; now its the runner at second with one out. Frandsen then comes to the plate and grounds out to ss. Which of course would have scored the runner if he'd been at third (but of course he wasn't because Feliz is a selfish sucker). Later in the game Feliz with runners at first and second can you believe bounces into a double play for like the 200th time of his career. I wanted to throw my box of Nerds through the television at that point. Feliz needs to go still, but of course that doesn't happen because the Giants brass thinks Feliz is worth a dime. Let me tell you he isn't worth two shits. Now if you're Manny Ramirez and you don't want to get a guy up, then fine you hit 50 bombs a year and drive in 140. But Feliz muscles up on every swing and hits 22 bombs and only scores about 80, and plays every day. I'd rather he didn't play everyday with those numbers. Mutha' Freakin' David Bell could approach those numbers playing everyday, and he plays balls to the wall.
Part of this problem goes back to Felipe Alou rounding up every Latin player he possibly could and sticking them on the field as often as possible. Go back and look at the Giants roster the year they went to the World Series and then look what happened to it when Alou came to town. I'm glad we have Vizquel still, but hopefully Bochy can grow a pair and find the first taker and get rid of a worthless third sacker. Don't worry Philly fans, it ain't so bad.
Published sports column contributor, but I'm about the 560th ranked blogger on this site. I'll keep most of my posts sports related. My sense of humor exists to amuse myself. This has happened by default because I rarely seem to amuse anyone else. I'm ashamed that my favorite professional sports teams are from the city of San Francisco.
Favorite sports listed from favorite to least favorite: duck-duck-
goose, red-light green-light, freeze tag, marco polo, and hop-scotch.
