Ok buckle your seatbelts and enjoy the best list in the history of the planet. Its going to be a bumpy ride full of excitement and controversy, but ladies and gentlemen here it is your top 10 sports derrieres.
10. Derek Jeter I am no Yankee fan, but lets be honest, no shortstop has made as many hardcore baseball fans out of once uninterested moms, sisters, girlfriends, and wives. Jeter's moneymaker not only brings in the fans but brings in the rings. One clutch derriere starts this list off.
9. Mia Hamm Americans are hesitant to embrace two things in life - soccer and women's sports. This didn't stop Hamm from becoming a major American sports icon, leading U.S. women to World Cup glory and snagging herself a shortstop of her own. Jeter has the rings but Nomar's got Mia's ... Hamm.
8. Danica Patrick Ever been on a long road trip? If you have you know that as the miles pile on your bumper gets tired and sore. With that fact in mind it is even more amazing that Danica rides on against the men's top Indy racers. It is only a matter of time until Danica and her trunk find themselves toughing out a victory lap against the boys.
7. Cecil and Prince Fielder I guess a homerun swing really is all in the jeans. Prince can thank his dad for inheriting a rump that blasts out the long balls. This new booty might not even have to take the family "Field" trip to Japan.
6. Nancy Lopez It is not a pretty site but this old school rump shaker gets a birdie for consistency and sheer mass.
5. Maria Sharapova Unlike another bombshell blonde tennis star, this girl actually wins. It is a good thing too, because when you win, we all get to stare... I mean watch you play alot more matches.
4. Shaquille O'neal You thought that Kobe and Wade were the sidekicks that helped Shaq get four rings. Wrong. The only sidekick Shaq needs is his Diesel fueled mid-rear engine.
3. Ronaldo It takes a powerful behind to get the President of Brazil calling to find out how much excess meat your hauling. But that is exactly what happened withe World Cup's all-time leading scorer - Fat Ronaldo. While the world worries about the size of Ronaldo's butt, his coach just keeps playing the superstar and watching his butt... kick!
2. Serena Williams When Serena and her kuzunga are in full-effect they are the most unstoppable force in the history of women's tennis. Serena's booty is so mighty it makes J-Lo's bon-bon shake. Even the US Army knows where Serena is hiding her weapon of #### destruction. Congrat's Serena you own the number two spot on the list and the numer one amongst all the women.
1. Charles Barkley The "Round Mound of Rebound" carved out a Hall of Fame NBA career with a "mound" that could box opponents twice his height. This tank #### provided power, balance, and surprising hops. Sure Barkley's derriere had a great NBA career, but what is more impressive is that it also following that success with another successful career. Barkley is now making good dough talking out of his butt. Now that is one talented derriere.
Alright ladies and gentlemen my millions of readers worldwide. the Sportsnutt is in round 2 of Detroitsports incredibly prestigous writing contest. A load of topics this time around. Tuff tuff questions.
1. If you could take away any sport which one would it be and why.
2. You could go into the past and meet with someone who would it be?
3. If you played in a sport, what postition would you want to play at?
1. My first thought was to give hockey the axe. Why? Well I can't say I missed it while it was gone last year. But the Miracle Ice was special, this postseason has had may madness upsets, and I loved playing roller hockey as a kid.
Then I realized this might have to be an easy one. POKER. If there was no poker than there would be NO poker on TV. Which is what I really hate. I don't hate playing poker I just hate the poker television invasion. I wan't to WATCH action on ESPN or FSN not a fat guy in sunglasses debating for 15 minutes whether or not he is going to call.
2. This is an easy one. See I have a whole game plan thought out. I figure if I can go into the past then I probably have the technology to bring whoever back into the future with me. So here is my plan. I will get my sports agents liscense. You can get one online for like $1000 bucks. I will get some pictures of honey's way hotter than Delilah. I will go back to Bible times and meet Samson. You know the guy with the long hair that tore apart a lion with his barehands and could destroy villages all by himself.
Then I would show him some pics of potential Delilah replacing chicks to get him to sign a contract with me. Take him back to the future and imagine the possiblilities. You thought "Bo knows everything." Imagine Samson. He would make Bonds look little, Ray Lewis look gentle, and Ron Artest look normal. I am talking about a multi-sports mega star.
Think of the advertising dollars I would make alone. Johnny Damon didn't cut his hair for a season or two. Samson didn't cut his hair ever. I am talking Billion Dollar deals. Drew Rosenhaus and ol BoreASS will feel broker than broke compared to me. I won't need any other clients so I will seem like the nice gentle Jerry Maguire type.
"Samson help me, help you."
The best part of this idea is in the end I am going to STICK it to the YANKEES. After a few years will go for the gusto. A multi billion dollar guaranteed deal with the Yankees. Samson will show up with a fresh new hair cut and suddenly not be able to pick up a bat. I can't wait to see the BOSSES face when that happens.
3. My favorite sport is soccer. I play in some local leagues and get the joy of scoring goals and such. So even though that was my first choice I thought. Nah I am already decent with that. Lets just be happy with my ability to play at a good high school level. If I am going to play any position I want to be an NBA small forward. Fast high flying 6'8 super athlete. I will dunk on fools and laugh at normal people that are my (REAL) height. I will work harder than most of the lazy NBAers making my mix of atleticism and work ethic a near impossible force to stop. I will rally hard to get on the Cav's so I can ride the coattails of Lebron to a number of NBA titles. And then when he retires and the next Lebron comes along I will get myself air time by saying how much better the next Lebron is than the old Lebron was at that same stage.
The hottest pro spouse is right here.... KA BLAMM - O
First before I even tell you who's wife this is lets just judge the hotness factor. This is not your protoypical barrell chested blonde athlete wife (not that anyone is opposed to that very respectable tradition). This is an exotic golden beauty. She gets points for not only being fine, but for standing out amongst the many hot athlete wives. I got to give Greek super model Aleka Kamila 10 out of 10.
Now if this is not enough to get your vote. Her husband will REALLY put her over the top. This lady is the wife of none other than bugly ol Peja Stojakovic. One of the uglier players in the NBA. This isn't Ray Allen or Tom Brady's wife. Not Jeter or A-Rod people. Peja friecking Stojakovic. Even if he is a millionaire this girl is Barry Bonds steroid pumped home run ball out of his league.
This pale, goofy toothed, hair parted in the middle mug is married to that rocket bodied beauty above. It is MAD-NESS!!!!! Props to Peja. He is my hero.
2. I should definetely be in the next round because every good contest needs a little controversy. And since I was not invited in the contest nor responded anywhere near the deadline. Who better than ME should be in this contest. And if you are still questioning just scroll back up to that Peja's wife.
is married to that rocket bodied beauty above. It is MAD-NESS!!!!! Props to Peja. He is my hero.
