It is reported that Starbucks big timer is tired of losing money with the Seattle SuperSonics and has sold the team to three filthy rich dudes in Oklahoma City. A place with fresh and excited NBA fans that are borrowing a team from New Orleans. Of course they are trying to cool us Seattleites off like an iced mocha by saying the team is not going anywhere. Lets be serious.
The team is gone. Captain Starbucks has sold us out and the city of Seattle and that blasted Key Arena did not do their part in trying to help. Yeah Key Arena I am talking to you. We all know that the blasted lease agreement scred the team and made selling the NBA product not near as profitable as selling an Orange Mocha Frappachino.
So who is to blame?
Here are 5 actually 6 people, places, or things to blame. Down with you nouns.
5. David Stern feigned interest in renegotiating the lease but did not really get the NBA involved.
4. The city of Seattle could do something about it but would rather keep milking the money from the lease and plan on milking the money through 2010 whether the team is in Seattle or not.
3. Sonics fans are on record has having the quietest protest ever in a city that can round up angry protesters for marijuana, Bush, WTO, trees, monorails, ducks, taco seasoning, and anything else you can think of besides NBA basketball.
2. Microsoft billionaires. There is a plethora of microsoft billionaires doing nothing but chilling on yachts and "helping the needy." Come on somebody buy the Sonics and keep them in Seattle/Bellevue/Renton.
1 A. Howard Schultz. The man is claiming he was offered a "blank check" for the Sonics from another city but would not do it because it would take the Sonics out of Seattle. But you expect us to believe that 3 dudes from the OK corral or going to move up to the Rainy paradise and screw their hometown that loves the NBA and is about to be devoid of a NBA team. COME ON!!! We all know something could have been worked out. Bellevue and Renton were fighting for the Sonics. Starbucks is not short on dough. We could fight the lease on Key Arena. Lets get jacked up on caffiene and think of a reasonable plan.
1 B. Key Arena. This is why no one goes to Key bank. Your arena can't even work out a good lease. Criminals.
I used to think the Seattle Supersonics draft strategy was to draft all white guys in the first round. It made perfect sense. Vladimir Radmanovic, Luke Ridnour, Nick Collison, Robert Swift and Johan Petro (I assume that Walker assumed that Petro was white since he is French and was very surprise to find out he was wrong). But after Walker drafted a 7-footer out of Senegal, Africa I am going to have to admit I am wrong on this one. We are no longer trying to field an all-white team. No one would draft an African with that objective in mind.
Now it looks like we are going to put the twin towers basketball strategy to shame. Robert Swift, Johan Petro, and Mouhamed Saer Sane will be the triple towers. WATCH OUT LEAGUE. We only need two more years to get two more 7-footers that can not score and we can have a starting lineup of young unproven 7-footers with no skill. The Supersonics are looking to be the biggest team of the future and we have Wally Walker to thank for this master plan.
