Alright ladies and gentlemen my millions of readers worldwide. the Sportsnutt is in round 2 of Detroitsports incredibly prestigous writing contest. A load of topics this time around. Tuff tuff questions.
1. If you could take away any sport which one would it be and why.
2. You could go into the past and meet with someone who would it be?
3. If you played in a sport, what postition would you want to play at?
1. My first thought was to give hockey the axe. Why? Well I can't say I missed it while it was gone last year. But the Miracle Ice was special, this postseason has had may madness upsets, and I loved playing roller hockey as a kid.
Then I realized this might have to be an easy one. POKER. If there was no poker than there would be NO poker on TV. Which is what I really hate. I don't hate playing poker I just hate the poker television invasion. I wan't to WATCH action on ESPN or FSN not a fat guy in sunglasses debating for 15 minutes whether or not he is going to call.
2. This is an easy one. See I have a whole game plan thought out. I figure if I can go into the past then I probably have the technology to bring whoever back into the future with me. So here is my plan. I will get my sports agents liscense. You can get one online for like $1000 bucks. I will get some pictures of honey's way hotter than Delilah. I will go back to Bible times and meet Samson. You know the guy with the long hair that tore apart a lion with his barehands and could destroy villages all by himself.
Then I would show him some pics of potential Delilah replacing chicks to get him to sign a contract with me. Take him back to the future and imagine the possiblilities. You thought "Bo knows everything." Imagine Samson. He would make Bonds look little, Ray Lewis look gentle, and Ron Artest look normal. I am talking about a multi-sports mega star.
Think of the advertising dollars I would make alone. Johnny Damon didn't cut his hair for a season or two. Samson didn't cut his hair ever. I am talking Billion Dollar deals. Drew Rosenhaus and ol BoreASS will feel broker than broke compared to me. I won't need any other clients so I will seem like the nice gentle Jerry Maguire type.
"Samson help me, help you."
The best part of this idea is in the end I am going to STICK it to the YANKEES. After a few years will go for the gusto. A multi billion dollar guaranteed deal with the Yankees. Samson will show up with a fresh new hair cut and suddenly not be able to pick up a bat. I can't wait to see the BOSSES face when that happens.
3. My favorite sport is soccer. I play in some local leagues and get the joy of scoring goals and such. So even though that was my first choice I thought. Nah I am already decent with that. Lets just be happy with my ability to play at a good high school level. If I am going to play any position I want to be an NBA small forward. Fast high flying 6'8 super athlete. I will dunk on fools and laugh at normal people that are my (REAL) height. I will work harder than most of the lazy NBAers making my mix of atleticism and work ethic a near impossible force to stop. I will rally hard to get on the Cav's so I can ride the coattails of Lebron to a number of NBA titles. And then when he retires and the next Lebron comes along I will get myself air time by saying how much better the next Lebron is than the old Lebron was at that same stage.
