Wow just finished watching the All-Star game and have some questions for fellow viewers.
Was the pre-game really two hours longer than the game?
Is David Wright really that cool?
Did it seem like the Bud Selig show to you?
Can Vladimir Guerrero hit any pitch out of the park?
Were you as surprised as I to see Ichiro hit the suck cycle? - strike out, ground out, pop out.
Were you just waiting for Bud Selig to say "this Bud's for you"
Did the award ceremony make you want to buy a Chevy Avalanche?
At any point during the game did you think that the National League had a glimmer of hope of winning this time?
Are you like me and tired of cheering for your home team and just want to embrace your home league? AL kicks tail. I am so proud to be an AL fan.
Do you think Bud Selig is trying to launch an acting career with all of his face time?
Were there really award interruptions every other inning?
Did you just have the tv on and were just kind of paying attention but mostly not and never really even saw one pitch?
Do you feel closer to Bud Selig?
Do you find it strange that Bronson Arroyo was the 8th best pitcher on the Red Sox but is actually PLAYING in the All-Star game for the National League?
Did you know that Bronson Arroyo is also in a band?
Is Bud Selig the greatest commisioner ever?
Is Bronson the greatest acoustic guitar player alive?
HE IS BACK!!! Not only back to playing baseball in the Independent leagues but back taking down the MLB. Mafia Legion of Baseball. That is right. Jose Canseco is playing baseball and investigating the MLB. Opening our eyes to the evil that Bud Selig is up to. Canseco actually called the MLB "the mafia."
Crying about being blackballed and all the protection of big names and blackballing of Cubans that is still active in the Majors.
All I know is that after I read Juiced, everyone Canseco accused either got busted, mysteriously lost tons of weight, retired, got injured, or just plain dissapeared. The man speaks the truth.
Save our National pastime Canseco. You are our only hope.
Ok buckle your seatbelts and enjoy the best list in the history of the planet. Its going to be a bumpy ride full of excitement and controversy, but ladies and gentlemen here it is your top 10 sports derrieres.
10. Derek Jeter I am no Yankee fan, but lets be honest, no shortstop has made as many hardcore baseball fans out of once uninterested moms, sisters, girlfriends, and wives. Jeter's moneymaker not only brings in the fans but brings in the rings. One clutch derriere starts this list off.
9. Mia Hamm Americans are hesitant to embrace two things in life - soccer and women's sports. This didn't stop Hamm from becoming a major American sports icon, leading U.S. women to World Cup glory and snagging herself a shortstop of her own. Jeter has the rings but Nomar's got Mia's ... Hamm.
8. Danica Patrick Ever been on a long road trip? If you have you know that as the miles pile on your bumper gets tired and sore. With that fact in mind it is even more amazing that Danica rides on against the men's top Indy racers. It is only a matter of time until Danica and her trunk find themselves toughing out a victory lap against the boys.
7. Cecil and Prince Fielder I guess a homerun swing really is all in the jeans. Prince can thank his dad for inheriting a rump that blasts out the long balls. This new booty might not even have to take the family "Field" trip to Japan.
6. Nancy Lopez It is not a pretty site but this old school rump shaker gets a birdie for consistency and sheer mass.
5. Maria Sharapova Unlike another bombshell blonde tennis star, this girl actually wins. It is a good thing too, because when you win, we all get to stare... I mean watch you play alot more matches.
4. Shaquille O'neal You thought that Kobe and Wade were the sidekicks that helped Shaq get four rings. Wrong. The only sidekick Shaq needs is his Diesel fueled mid-rear engine.
3. Ronaldo It takes a powerful behind to get the President of Brazil calling to find out how much excess meat your hauling. But that is exactly what happened withe World Cup's all-time leading scorer - Fat Ronaldo. While the world worries about the size of Ronaldo's butt, his coach just keeps playing the superstar and watching his butt... kick!
2. Serena Williams When Serena and her kuzunga are in full-effect they are the most unstoppable force in the history of women's tennis. Serena's booty is so mighty it makes J-Lo's bon-bon shake. Even the US Army knows where Serena is hiding her weapon of #### destruction. Congrat's Serena you own the number two spot on the list and the numer one amongst all the women.
1. Charles Barkley The "Round Mound of Rebound" carved out a Hall of Fame NBA career with a "mound" that could box opponents twice his height. This tank #### provided power, balance, and surprising hops. Sure Barkley's derriere had a great NBA career, but what is more impressive is that it also following that success with another successful career. Barkley is now making good dough talking out of his butt. Now that is one talented derriere.
