Like Barry Bonds, my birthday is this week. Each year my family goes through this ritual complaining because they say that they don’t know what dad wants for his birthday. No matter how many times I tell them, “I like fishing rods, power tools, and camping equipment,” my wife insists that she has no clue about what I like. In fact, every year she waits until the last day before she goes out and buys me clothes or some other thing that I have to smile and pretend to like. I suppose I am like most dads and it really doesn’t matter what they get me because in the end I can always go out and buy my own rod, but if my wife would really just listen she could have bought the right gift weeks ago. That got me to thinking about what Barry really wants for his birthday. Here are just a few suggestions I would give to the important people in Barry’s life.
Kimberly Bell: An autographed copy of her Playboy. It’s not like Bell hasn’t already given Bonds enough trouble. After she broke up his first marriage, she continued to be his mistress throughout his second marriage, only to turn against him once she was spurned. In it she could say, “Thanks for the hooters, they really have come in handy lately!”
Gary Sheffield: Former friend and work out partner of Bonds should continue to say stupid things to the press in order to deflect any criticism Barry may get. Funny how Sheffield trained with Bonds and was also a Balco client, but steroid allegations with him just sort of waft away like a puff of smoke. Yet, I can’t help but feel sorry for Gary because he appears to be one of the most bitter athletes I have ever seen play the game. No one has ever treated him right. Not the Dodger, the Braves, the Yankkees, and in a year or two the Tigers. He never has anything good to say about anyone. Maybe the best gift Barry can receive from Gary is to just not say anything.
MLB Writers: Enough votes to get into the HOF. After all, the HOF has other known cheats in it. ####lord Perry immediately comes to mind. He routinely used Vaseline to throw his famous pitch and even bragged about it often, yet he is still in those hallowed halls.
Roger Clemens: He could test positive for steroids thereby further proving that pitchers take steroids just as much as hitters. It would also show the double standard when Clemens would immediately be ignored while Barry is still persecuted.
Hank Aaron: Aaron should try to be in attendance for the big game. He alone could go along way in helping people to accept the new record. After all, Aaron had some help when he started taking “greenies” in a down HR year.
Bud Selig: An admission to being at least partly culpable in the whole steroids debacle. It was on Selig’s watch that baseball players ballooned over night, but as long as they were hitting the long ball and brought fans back to the game, Bud turned a blind eye. Now he wants Barry to take all the blame. It would be such a nice present if Bud just accepted part of the blame. (Selig, pictured at right, doing his best imitation of Homer Simpson)
There you have it. Just a few of the gifts that would make Barry smile on his 43rd birthday. For me, turning 44, I would just enjoy that fishing rod and a chance to use it with my two boys.
Baby doll.....have a wonderful birthday. Have a few cold ones and spend a lot of time in the sack. Hope all your birthday wishes come true, and yeah, the Chargers will win it this year. Cheers!
I'm sure that some pictures take steroids like Bonds does, but have you ever seen Clemens?
Unlike Bonds, Clemens career long physical transformation has occurred in his midsection alone.
This blog is every bit as chock full o' stupidity as the tripe Sheffield pukes out to reporters, and every bit as foucsed on detracting attention from the real issue.
Clemens on steroids? Maybe if they sell anabolic pork chops.
I would like to comment on the Barry Bonds issue. First what type of due process is Bonds afforded. How long can the Criminal investigation continue. I keep hearing that Bonds is facing this and facing that, when 10 years from now. Either produce evidence and charge him with something or let it go. I'm a fan of baseball and these continued attacks on Bonds just takes the enjoyment out of game. Bonds may not be the most friendly sports star but a star he is. Lets give him his just recognition for the accomplishments he earned. If he is charged and convicted then baseball can do what is called for. Why is our focus on the rumor mills, he said or she said. What happen to investigative journalism with proof. Why are we the fans so interested in this BS instead of the game? I wish for the old days to buy a beer go to the game and read about it the next day. It use to be about the game. Lets not lose sight of that.
Barry Bonds gave the commissioner,the owners, MLB, and the players a present long ago. A patsy to take the heat off of all of them. They all get to sit there deaf, dumb, and blind while the entire steroid era passes them by and focuses on one person who gets the blame for the entire era. 10 or 20 years from now everyone will only know Barry Bonds connection to steroids while everyone else will come out smelling like a bed of roses even though he has never tested positive.
I like watching Selig try to straddle the fence on whether to support Barry's eventual all-time HR record. Some of his comments are classic - "I have a day job" is the best.
Selig is spineless - he is afraid to take a position - for or against Barry Bonds.
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Don, jlew, TJ, I agree with all of you. Bonds should not be the whipping boy for MLB, but he is. It is very sad to me because in my heart of hearts I know Clemens used steroids and I suspect many others who will get a free pass.
Happy birthday SoCal. My family does the exact same thing year after year.
About Bonds.
I think more players were on roids than we'll ever know in the "steroid era". The entire "era" should have the asterisk, not just Bonds. I too have to agree that he is the scapegoat, remember McGwire, Canseco, Giambi, "Pudge" Rodriguez, Palmeiro, and Gonzalez. Heck I read somewhere George W. Bush, a former part owner of the Texas Rangers, was
well aware of the steroid use on his team.
Honestly - BIG DEAL.
It is my hope that Barry injures himself in some horrible way so that he can never play again and is like 1 HR away from tying the record.
I don't even care so much that Barry took steroids. What bugs me about Barry is his attitude. He is selfish, and is basically holding back the Giants. Not to say they would be in first in the NL west, but he is such a liability in the field, he can barely move, why isn't he on an AL team as a DH?
Last edited by therealrico on July 25th at 6:18 PM.
THanks Bukk, I too wish everyone would just get over the 'roids issue.
Rico, it's too bad you hate the man so much for his attitude which has nothing to do with you. He doesn't know you or care what you think. He will not have a horrible injury and he will break the record. As to his liability in the field, he is still one of the best. If you check fielding erros he is still doing fine, in the top 20 I think for the least amount of errors. He is a perennial gold glove, and he has 5 stolen bases this year. Pretty good for someone who is broken down as you would have us believe. Lots of outfielders have fewer stolen bases. He may DH next year and continue his assault on 800.
So your telling me you would want a selfish #### on your team? And Barry may not have been errors, but that is only because he can't get to the ball to screw it up. And I am well aware of his gold gloves, but lets be honest he can't move anymore, he hasn't gotten a gold glove since 98. And I didn't know that about the stolen bases. But one question are those stolen bases a result from a wild pitch or throw, or were they legitimate stolen bases?
And Bonds doesn't care about me? Damn, and all this time I thought my opinion mattered, I am so disillusioned!
Last edited by therealrico on July 25th at 8:18 PM.
He is selfish, and is basically holding back the Giants. Not to say they would be in first in the NL west, but he is such a liability in the field, he can barely move, why isn't he on an AL team as a DH?
Bonds isn't in the A.L. because he's a money-making attraction for the Giants organization, and San Francisco is the only city that appreciates the greatness of Barry Bonds.
Secondly, using BaseballProspectus.com's WARP-3 (Wins Above Replacement Player), Bonds is worth 8.6 wins to his team. The Giants are currently 42-57, meaning that they'd be 33-66 (.333) without him -- that's 5 games worse than the Devil Rays.
Bonds also has a 41.4 VORP, 15th best in all of baseball. He's 43 years old, has no fluid in his knees, and he's still better than all but 14 of 834 baseball players.
Never mind his 179 OPS+ (79% better than the average left-fielder).
Great post. When I wrote one last week most people jumped in like the jews before Pilate and was saying Crucify him, he claims to be the king of Home runs. I asked that people put asidethe aleegations and try to atleast watch history being made. We can argue later. It wasn'T well recieved
I was just trying to do my impression of socal, and make a comment on a subject, I had absolutley no idea what I was talking about. See Socal, I too can make a stupid comment and get half the posters replying to my inane opinion.
To be honest I don't even watch baseball, or follow it. Ok I am done here later.
Good job Ultra. Bonds is well worth the money and a great fielder.
Marty, yeah people are quick to jump on Bonds.
Rico, luckily you didn't have to act, you really don't know too much about anything.
THanks for taking up for me Ringo, but I can handle Rico the teen. HOpefully, you didn't take offense to my soccer rants, because as I told Rico, I do enjoy it. My kids play soccer, but if I have to push them into a professional sport, it will be baseball in this country.
Ultra,
Man you can always be counted on for objective fact based commentary. Thank you. I hhave also wondered how someone who leads their team in almost every offensive statistic, has fewer errors than most player at his position and constantly provides scoring oppotunities for his team, by getting on base better than anyone else in baseball is a liability. Go fig, I guess my definition of liability is different than others. Its not like he's a 130mil pitcher who is 7-10.
Kimberly Bell: An autographed copy of her Playboy. It’s not like Bell hasn’t already given Bonds enough trouble. After she broke up his first marriage, she continued to be his mistress throughout his second marriage, only to turn against him once she was spurned. In it she could say, “Thanks for the hooters, they really have come in handy lately!” 
Gary Sheffield: Former friend and work out partner of Bonds should continue to say stupid things to the press in order to deflect any criticism Barry may get. Funny how Sheffield trained with Bonds and was also a Balco client, but steroid allegations with him just sort of waft away like a puff of smoke. Yet, I can’t help but feel sorry for Gary because he appears to be one of the most bitter athletes I have ever seen play the game. No one has ever treated him right. Not the Dodger, the Braves, the Yankkees, and in a year or two the Tigers. He never has anything good to say about anyone. Maybe the best gift Barry can receive from Gary is to just not say anything.
MLB Writers: Enough votes to get into the HOF. After all, the HOF has other known cheats in it. 
Bud Selig: An admission to being at least partly culpable in the whole steroids debacle. It was on Selig’s watch that baseball players ballooned over night, but as long as they were hitting the long ball and brought fans back to the game, Bud turned a blind eye. Now he wants Barry to take all the blame. It would be such a nice present if Bud just accepted part of the blame. (Selig, pictured at right, doing his best imitation of Homer Simpson)
