Having recently written a post on Floyd Landis and questions that I think Stephen Colbert would ask, I decided to do another post where I basically interview Michelle Wie from Colbert’s perspective.Here is the ensuing conversation.
SC:Welcome to the Colbert Nation, and may I say you look lovely in those golf outfits.I understand you signed two high profile endorsement deals with Nike and Sony.Is that why Sony invites you to the Sony Open each year in January to play against the men?
MW:I would like to think that they invite me because I am a good golfer.
SC:That would be nice to think, but as a “good” golfer, how many tournaments have you won?
MW:Well, I really have never won as a professional, but I have won an amateur tournament once when I was 13, three years ago.
SC:So let me get this straight.You have never won as a professional and you won once three years ago in an amateur tournament.I guess that proves they aren’t inviting you because of your wins.So tell me one more time why they should let you play in men’s tournaments on the PGA?
MW:Well I bring a lot of viewers to the tournament.I sell tickets because people want to see me play.
SC:Watching you play in those short skirts, I can see why the “viewer ship” increases, but that is only for Thursday and Friday, right?
MW:So far, but I hope to make the cut one day.
SC:So your goal is to make the cut, not win?
MW:Of course I hope to win, but I have to first make a cut.I did make the cut at the Korean Tour for men.
SC:Oh that’s right that is the same tournament Se Ri Pak made the cut in three years earlier, only no one was talking about it then even though she finished 10th.Do you enjoy losing?I mean, you keep playing against the men hoping to make the cut.That has to be tough on you emotionally.
MW:I am really playing well right now and then when I play against the women, I have taken 2nd twice this year.
SC:How does that feel, I mean coming in second all the time?
MW:Well, I am really playing well, (starts to cry)….and as long as I am hitting it solidly,
SC:It’s okay Michelle.We here at the Colbert Nation are rooting for you.Really, we would love to see you win any tournament.Heck, we would love to see you go to college and destroy all of those other girls, but I guess since you turned pro, that is out of the question.Don’t worry; we will invite you back when you win a tournament so that you can answer all of your critics.
SoCalSportsFan
*Once again this is not the real work of Stephen Colbert, but I can see him asking Michelle Wie these questions should he ever invite her onto his show.*
Oh my God, I'm glad you put the disclaimer there at the end. I was wondering if Colbert had a stroke and the part of his brain that made "the funny" had gone on the fritz. I'm relieved what can I say
Also you're back to your little Wie obsession. I imagine your room to be covered in photos of her with the eyes cut out.
One thing I like about Colbert is that he skewers dems and republicans alike. He does not show favoritism when it comes to making fun of someone.
Mean, I am just glad it was SC saying all this.
Bengals, thanks, glad you like it.
Travis, if you don't think its funny, then I guess you thought my last one was serious too. That answers that question mark you left behind. As for Wie obsession, she was in the news this week. You don't see me writing about her when she is not relevant, which is most of the time. Next week she will be in the Ladies British Open, so expect another post from me sometime during or after. As for you Travis, when is the last time you wrote?
Ed, I look forward to a response and I look forward to the day when Wie wins any tournament, much less against the men. I for one think she will never win against the men. If she would stick to the LPGA, she would be amazing. Splitting time as such, she will be lucky to focus and win anything.
Last edited by socalsportsfan on July 30th at 8:45 PM.
Having read it over again to see if I was missing something, I stand by my earlier non-funny statements.
Now, had it been an O'Reilly-interviews-Wie thing then it may've been something, cuz it more closely resembles an O'Reilly parody. All bluster, making unsuspecting people cry, you know allt hat good stuff. But Colbert actually has, um, jokes in his routine and there really aren't any to be found in that whole thing. I mention this for no other reason than I'm a comedy snob.
As for Wie you've had at least one thing written about her every month for the last 6 months. If she's so irrelavent then what're you writing about her so much for?
As for me writing stuff, the only stuff to write about is the middle of the baseball season, training camps starting, and golf. Not exactly the most interesting stuff in the world. Forgive me if I pass on giving my opinions on the Benimet/Baez trade
Okay, did you like my comments? Well, I understand that my six copy and pastes were a tad excessive, but I was trying to elucidate a theme:
Israel has systematically put together a process of ---expansion, annexation, double standards, that many world wide (most Western nations, by the way) consider unfair.
The numbers killed on both sides are always asymmmetric. And this has been for 60 years!
My old analogy is the uncle and the nephew...
Israel is the old tough uncle, Palestine is the adolescent nephew...Family by blood but not much love. *hate, of course. Extremists, anyway.
One hurts the other, and the other has the power...and it goes on at the cost of millions of innocents and moderates...
So anywho, Wie will beat Tiger someday. She will be 30 and he will be...48? I can't do the math...
Travis, I have written about Wie each week that she plays and is in the news. I write about Bonds when he is in the news, i.e. about to be indicted, breaking Babe's mark. So, if Wie is on the AP wire, yes I write about her. I do not think she is relevant, the media says she is because she is trying to beat the men. As for funny, well, we all have a different sense of humor. Wie cries on her own and certainly doesn't need Colbert or me to make her cry. As for Colbert, he still asks tough questions funny or not.
Ed, again, Israel has gone on a huge expansion, taking back the territory that is what, 5 city blocks? Come on, Israel as a country is tiny. The Palestinians will not be happy until Israel is anihilated. You hear Iran say this all the time. That does not sound like land they want, they want them gone from the face of the earth. The Palestinians also want Jerusalem, which is the holiest cities of the Jews and Christians alike.
Ed, Wie will beat Tiger when he is 80, not before then. She would be lucky to make the cut on the Senior Tour.
Last edited by socalsportsfan on July 30th at 8:41 PM.
You must play a mean golf game, SoCal, to have such a strong opinion of Wie's game...And psychology? She is a tough cookie, and may end up being tougher than Tiger, meantally...I know that goes completely against your formulated thesis...
Two things about women and competiveness and skills:
1) We saw many Israeli women packing M-16s in the Holy Land. My roomie called them "chicks with guns'. These are Israeli WOMEN. Many are pretty, too. Pretty deadly. Imagine the men.
2) Kalvin (Kelvin?--wait, I am Mr. IU!) Sampson came back recently from coaching an Army b-ball team in Kuwait. According to an American general he talked to, the women made the best snipers.
Why? I'm not sure, but I have a gut feeling Ms. Wie is going to be a Pouncing Jaguar on Tiger's Hidden Dragon...
Ed, Israel has not taken back that much land, but of course taken back implies it was theirs to begin with.
As for Wie, she is not mentally tougher than Tiger. If she were, she would not have lost several this year. Her psyche is in shambles right now, luckily she has tremendous talent.
Differing definitions of humor maybe. Differing definitions of irrelevant, apparently so. Irrelevant would mean there’s no reason to write anything about her, much as I never have. But I find golf irrelevant in general, so I’m a bad example. And to be honest I’ve never seen anyone else write about her, so you seem to find her more interesting and, dare I say, relevant than you let on.
Well Travis, if you find golf boring, then you probably would not read anything about her, but as I said before, I only write about her when her name is on every front page of ESPN, AOL, FOX Sports because she is competing. Funny, you must be the only person who thinks she is not a big deal. I write about her to point out she is not a big deal. It's okay if you don't like me writing about her, but I think it strikes a chord within you and you follow her more than you are letting on. She is/has been the story at the John Deere Classic, SOny Open, trying to qualify for US Open, and this week Evian, and now coming up LPGA British Open. She is the news in golf, more than TIger. Believe or not.
Of course, you keep reading about her on my posts and commenting, so I do believe you have a little crush on her yourself.
Last edited by socalsportsfan on July 30th at 10:11 PM.
Funny post, i liked this one even better than the Landis one, although you had a funnier pic on the first one. I love the sarcasm in the beginning with not finishing in first, someone HAS to ask her what her motivation is right now in her young career.
No, I don't mean Wie is mentally stronger in 2006. I mean she potentially will be... i think her youth is to her advantage...
Although I know you have argued interestingly in the past that this is causing irreparable damge to her whole future. I disagree. Same with the "Settlers"... But thoe are two things I am cool disagreeing with. It makes life more interesting, compelling like sports...
The word for today is commercialism. As the golf world stand amazed at Wie's talents ( a picture of Wie bending over in her mini-mini skirt to mark her ball), a bigger question arises . (A closeup of the bulge in Landis' spandex.) Are the sponsors merely inviting her for her appearance? (Camera nods up and down) Or is there any chance she can actually compete on the men's tour? (Camera shakes back and forth.) Only time will tell. (A close-up of one of her male playing partners checking his watch as he worries about being penalized for slow play.)
George, I think Hogfan answered your question about motivation, at least from the corporate side of things.
Nice addition Hogfan. I love his Word of the Day.
Ed, youth is to an advantage when used. Tiger used his to learn his trade by winning, Wie has not, instead she competes against the world's toughest having never learned to win. She will win a tournament or two, but she will never win the 60+ that Annika has. Not because she does not have the talent, but because she has not paid her dues. There is a way which seems right unto a man....
Last edited by socalsportsfan on July 31st at 6:46 AM.
Hey, does anyone know what happened to wesleypowell...or is he trying to disguise himself under a different alias?
Socal..I think your interview was dead on. She needs to prove she can win at her level before she shoots for the stars. I don't quite understand her mentality on that...other than the publicity. She still has a lot of maturing to do...and you can see that on the golf course. Getting your panties whipped on the male tour isn't necessarily going to help her in that process.
Haven't seen or heard from WP. My guess is he left or he did pick up a new blog name. No one was really reading his stuff anymore.
As for Wie, thanks for the comments. I just wish she would commit to the LPGA and win there for a few years before she jumps into the men's arena. I do understand her playing the Sony. It is in Hawaii, her home, and Sony is paying her big time to play, but the John Deere, Korean Tour, get real.
HAHA great stuff. I myself am getting sick of Michelle Wie. Either win or get out of the news. Her and Barbaro are always in the news for doing nothing.
Keep your fantasies to adults, Wie is a minor Travis. My point is, you keep coming back for more. You have the hots for her and that is why you keep defending her.
Given a choice between someone holing out from 210 yards with a 3-wood and Wie marking her ball, the networks would first show Wie. I'm not an old fogie, but my daughter wouldn't leave the house in a dress that short. What if Travis saw her?
socal Things would've been so much different if she'd won the Evian Masters over the weekend. Then Colbert could really have had some fun with her. Nice work !
By the way did he accompany her back to the 'Green Room' and show her his eight iron ?
Colbert does nothing for me. When I hear his name I think of the Carolina WR. After realizing it isn't FFL information about Keary I quickly go back to whatever I was doing.
When Wie starts winning tournaments and is the Tiger Woods of the female game I am going to remember all our exchanges on the subject. Where did Sorenstam (Miss 10 majors) finish in the Evian Masters? Oh yeah, way behind Wie.
SOCAL,
Bad man...bad man! I have written unfavorable comments about this young lady playing against the men and I stand by them. But I also realize that she is only 16. If anyone really interviewed her in the manner your fictitious interview is written it would be equal to verbal child abuse. We should be asking some of your questions of her handlers, her parents. She's just a kid, although really wealthy, we should try and remember that. I know I will from now until she's at least 18.
Bad man...now do Terrell Owens or Reggie Bush!
That is so funny.... But the sad part is it is true. I think she should have a set amount of wins to make on the LPGA and then and only then should she be able to play with the men..... But that is my opinion.....
Yes yes I know, but I'm much much closer than you are to the age where saying she's hot isn't creepy. I'm not saying it's not creepy when I say it, I just like to rub the fact that I'm half people's age in their faces.
Norcal I'll take nothing away from Wie but we all know America loves a winner. But the thinking is until she wins a tournament we'll just be part of the gallery watching and waiting in anticipation.
Sorenstam by the way finished within the top 20 , not up to her usual standard but it'll do for someone whose completely dominated the women's game over the past decade. For Sorenstam now it's all about chasing and surpassing the records
of Diedrickson-Zaharis and Whitworth.
How old are you Travis? Seeing your Nick Nolte pic, I thought you were older than me.
Tigger, thanks for the comments. We agree.
Tophat, America does love a winner, and if Wie does not win, America will embrace the next 13-14 year old phenom and there are many coming up the pike. Hopefully the people handling this new crop will do things right and make them play in the junior leagues and win first before advancing, something Wie did not do. Could you imagine what her record would have looked like had she stayed in amateur events, then college before the pros. All of her contemporaries would be shaking in their boots, but now, they know they can beat her so they are not afraid.
socal In many respects Wie's father B J should've followed the template set out by Earl Woods and in that way his daughter would've flourished more. But hindsight is 50/50 and we can't expect it all to be plain sailing.
Sooner or later she will win the 'big one' and then everyone can rejoice.
The supposed major deadline trades didn't seem to materialize as I was expecting both Soriano and Tejada to be dealt. Both of their respective teams chose to stay pat and aren't going anywhere.
What's up with these franchises ?
