Well Kris, at least now you can take consolation that Anna will not be your wife when she sleeps with all of your team mates. At least now you can concentrate on pitching. Repeat after me, "I look good enough, I am an athlete, and by golly I make enough money to attract another sexy bimbo..."
Bud Selig
Well Bud, even though Steroids are wrong and you turned a blind eye, now you appoint an independent investigator who will get to the bottom of the whole steroid issue, except that George Mitchell has more ties to baseball than you do. Once again you have shown your ineptitude! Or is it that you really just don't want the truth to come out. This investigator has already said that nothing will be done prior to 2002, (which is what I have been saying all along), because steroids were not banned from baseball until then. So repeat after me, "I am an ####, I will always be an ####, but because I do whatever the owners tell me to do, doggone it they like me…”
Dave Odom and USC Gamecocks
So Dave, after winning consecutive NIT titles, something only HOF Joe Lapchick has done, how does it feel?Especially after being snubbed by the NCAA selection committee even though your team advanced to the finals of the SEC tourney, do you feel vindicated?Your #### proved to be the biggest jocks in the NIT and I personally feel you were shafted.Repeat after me, “We were big enough, tall enough, and now we are pumped up…”
Duke Lacrosse Team
So you went out and hired a stripper, (OOPS, Exotic Dancer), and then got so drunk you decided to rape her.Not the brightest bunch for such a prestigious university.When all is said and done no one may be prosecuted from the team, but your actions caused your team to miss a chance at an NCAA title.Repeat after me, in unison, “We promise to keep our PRIVATE parties private and our private parts private, we promise to hold on to our balls, and we promise to never ever put our sticks where they don’t belong…”
So there you have it until this afternoon. I did not have time to do my affirmations for Barry Bonds, George Mitchell, or the NCAA selection committee, but I wanted to get these in before I actually start working today. Have a great weekend.
so which richer celebrity offered her his fortune to walk away from kris? (i still think KRIS is how a girl spells her name)
selig hired mitchell because they're friends, that way when the trail leads back to bud's stupidity and turning a blind eye, he can release his findings...or the previously agreed upon findings...that nothing incriminating was found of significance, but that everyone better watch their #### from here on out, or they'll be sorry.
Thaks Rae, Grim, Cuz and ponygirl for the comments. As to Kris, lots of money will get you the Anna Babes all day long, cause money is all they are after.
Right on with Benson and Selig, perhaps Benson can leave the theatrics behind and fulfill a once somewhat promising career, and you already know what I think of Buddy!!
What the Gamecocks and Odom have done is underappreciated. It is impressive and is proof that the NCAAs throw darts when selecting and seeding for thier tourney. The Duke situation is just pathetic, if it happened I say sterilize a razor blade and make sure they are unable to do anything like it again, but we all know in sports false accusations always occur so I resere my personal judgement until I know more about the case! Good post.
At least benson won't sleep with his teammates- hilarious! Also, you could not be more on point about Selig. He proves himself to be a "do-nothing" even when he tries to be a "do-something"!
I see a new reality TV show coming up.
The Two Anna's
Staring Anna Benson and Anna Nicole Smith
Can two Gold Digging Strippers get along while finding the next Jed Clampett without driving each other crazy?
ONLY ON FOX
I was really surprised about the George Mitchell thing. How can someone who is the CEO of the company that owns ABC and ESPN and has minority interests in a couple of sports teams (including a baseball team) be considered to be an unbiased investigator? Mitchell was far from unbiased about anything when he was in office, and I don't see him changing now. I imagine the end result will be a little bit of wrist smacking with a ruler and the aforementioned threat to watch your ####from here on out.
if you're even the least bit interested in the Anna / Kris Benson saga check out their interview in last month's Maxim. It's pretty hilarious, yet predictably trashy at the same time.
