Well, gang, in my opinion, the Patriots fans have allowed us to decimate and defile their site with the utmost in class, rarely complaining that we came into their village and #### and pillaged not only their women, but also their children, men , community leaders and pets. I believe, in the name of good sportsmanship, with the regular season right around the corner, it is time to leave them what is left of their once proud page.
When we first descended upon the page like the swarm of locusts that we are, I felt the reason was good: retribution to all the loud-mouthed, bandwagon fans who weekly spewed their idiocy and their team's supremecy...rubbing it in the faces of people like us, who through thick or thin, have supported our teams. Those bandwagon fans are now largely run off, once again cowering in their basements dreading the start of the new school year, their only hope for happiness the new Justin Timberlake poster that just arrived thanks to the ad in the back of their Weekly Reader. It is now time to leave the page to it's regular, good, proud fans...people like PAO, BWBB, Lindadito, Spida, Dredwak, Glenda and others.
I propose we take our show back to the Power Rankings page, where the hilarity can continue without us stepping on the toes of these people who have been more than gracious (although they did get the added benefit of procuring some fantastic bashes to use against other invaders!) That is my proposal and I would like the input of not only the regulars of the Breadstick Mafia, but the also the true Pats fans who undoubtedly would like to be able to talk about their team without having to scroll through 85 pages of Comedy Central each day (or hour) do to do so.
I think it's only fair to give them back their page for the regular season...we can come back next February and destroy it again if need be...but I have a hunch the annoyance needing attention to this degree will take place on the Giants pages next year....
Norv Turner's real name is Lynette DelGado-Greenberg.
The NFL Rules Committee creates policy by throwing darts at a chart.
Rex Grossman has never seen action as a professional quarterback (on or off the field).
Mike Ditka studied jazz ballet while attending Julliard School of Dance and was instrumental in designing many of the more risque leotards worn by his dance troupe during the early 1950's.
Mike Holmgren and Andy Reid were twins separated at birth. Their younger half-brother is professional golfer Craig Stadler.
The largest-ever championship ring belonged to Bronislau "Bronco" Nagurski, coming in at an astonishing 15.75 inches in circumference.
Michael Vick can't read.
Bill Belichek's wife, Betty, can palm a basketball.
Next July 4th, Al Davis will celebrate his 103rd birthday, making him the oldest thug in the "Raider Nation".
The Minnesota Vikings 2009 roster boasts 6 convicted felons, 2 pedophiles and no quarterback.
Lynn Swann actually lived on Swan Drive during much of his NFL career. He now resides on Forgotten Lane.
Ironically, Donald Driver rides a Green Bay Transit bus to get to and from practice at the Hutson Center.
The music for the Chicago Bears' "Super Bowl Shuffle" was written by Henry Mancini.
The Detroit Lions, to this day, host a Matt Millen effigy burning before each game just to keep Rod Marinelli on his toes.
Terry Bradshaw sold most of his hair to be made into quilts for underprivileged children in Papua, New Guinea.
On average, there are more fights in the stands at New England's Gillette Stadium during a single Patriots game than are sanctioned each year by the WWE.
More than 80% of NFL players claim the middle name "Leonard".
Brett Favre is allergic to Cajun food.
Tom Brady's name can be rearranged to spell "bat my rod". John Elway: "hyena jowl".
The Dallas Cowboys built their domed stadium only after Tom Landry complained of getting "the sniffles".
Were it not filled with helium, the football would weigh over 72 pounds and be nearly impossible to pass.
63% of NFL starting defensive backs said they would try cannibalism if it were legal.
William "The Refrigerator" Perry once ate 22 whole broasted chickens in less than 7 minutes.
One hour before each game, Peyton Manning smokes two packs of unfiltered cigarettes to calm his nerves.
The first football game, in 1644, was played using a coconut.
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for days on end.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a #### and a large glass of water, I once single-handed ly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries . When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-f orce demonstration . I bat . 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby ####, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, clif#### iving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with the Dalai Llama.
But most importantly, I love the GREEN BAY PACKERS!
