Darth Vader – “So Jerry, how did you abscond with the funds to finance the new Death StarIII Cowboys Stadium?”

 (both have amazing fire power)

Jerry Jones – “Well, you see, the first thing I did was make Dallas think I’d consider building it in their city.  The location offered was a dump without future building potential.  You couldn’t park your Imperial Cruiser without getting jacked!  Then I let everyone blame the Dallas mayor for not getting the new stadium.  She didn’t have the authority to negotiate anyway.  I cut a deal with Arlington in 3 parsecs.”

Darth – “Ingenious, Jerry, you put the blame on Mayor Miller.  That Dallas City Council has the personality of Jawas and the negotiating skills of Tusken Raiders!  

 Heh-heh-heh-heh!

 This is of great importance to me!”

 "How did you fund the Death StarIII!"

Jerry – “It was easy!  The city of Arlington was the only municipality with an optional penny tax available.  The citizens will cough up the coin, er, credits to build a third of the stadium.  It’ll be paid off in 25 years.”

 Darth – “Jerry, that leaves you on the hook for 650,000,000 credits.  The Imperial Senate won’t let me build anything these days.  How are you funding the 650,000,000?”

Jerry – “Personal Seat Licenses(PSL), $10 beer and excessive parking charges.”

Darth Vader – “PSL?”

Jerry – “Remember when you charged Imperial Senate members to watch you blow up Alderon?”

Darth – “Oh yes, that was fun.  I could not believe those bureaucrats would pay!  Ha-ha-ha!  They were dumber than Tattooine moisture farmers.”

Jerry – “Well, this is even better.  I charge people for the right to buy a ticket in the future!  It’s a better scam than when I was selling oil prospecting in Arkansas.

I stole the Cotton Bowl from Dallas, too.  We’ll have the greatest venue in the nation of Texas.   Tractor pulls, Bowl games, Mary K, adult entertainment conventions, etc.”

 Darth – “Snap out of it Jerry!  We’re here to discuss business.  I admit, you are a genius.  I must try this in the future!

 Jerry, what is the difference between a stripper and a Mary K representative?”

Jerry – “3 pounds of makeup and 20 years!”

 Darth – “Ha-ha-ha-he-he-he.  Good one Jerry.  Back to business!  I’m starting to feel mortal and I do not have a successor.  My Lord, Emperor Palpatine is long gone and my son has rejected me.  I need your ideas on a succession plan.”

Jerry – Can’t help you there, buddy! My son, Steven, is as worthless as t-its on a boar hog!  He’s got his mama’s big hair, too. Maybe we can cross train each other.  You’d love owning a sports team and hosing over the fans!  Just stay away from the English Premiere League!  Those people are crazy.  The South American fans will burn down their own stadium.  Hey!  I’d love to take a light saber to that twit, Daniel Snyder.  I’m in, good buddy.

Darth – “Yes, this sounds promising.  I could see myself owning the Cubs.  I’d only play night games and uniforms will be an all black reflective composite.  That would rid me of the hippies in the crowd.  Those daytime fans are as worthless as a hairless Wookie.  The fans must have credits to overpay for merchandise.”

Jerry – “Then it’s settled, we’ll meet every year to discuss our universe/sports takeover plans.  We'll overthrow Emperor Goddell by then.”

Darth – “Don’t tell Cuban of this. 

His haircut scares me.”

Darth walks away singing…”Aint’ no party like a Death Star party, cuz a Death Star party don’t stop.  So when you see a young storm trooper in a Death Star flippin’ switches, you gotta give the trooper his props…..”

 Be afraid, be very afraid of NFL 2009.