Curlin won the Preakness by a nose, which is about 12 inches if you're a horse or saw the replay.

The payout was $8.80 on a $2 bet.

I picked Street Sense to win; I didn't bet the race since the odds s-u-c-k-e-d.    I won't take virtually even money on a favorite, ever.  Too many bad things happen.   Since I didn't bet the race, I bet myself I could drink two beers from the start to the end of the race.  I still got it!

I don't expect many to respond to this instant BLOG and I don't care.  Yet, I know Nostradamus will be here.

Some of us were fortunate enough to grow up near a track.  In my case, it was Ak-sar-ben(Nebraska spelled backwards...rocket science from the Midwest and a popular Johnny Carson comment).  The track used to have the largest mutuel handle in the nation, yet wasn' regarded as a national player.  It was in Omaha, NE.  I worked in a sporting goods wholesaler/retalier while in college and was fortunate enought to have plenty of doggy owners, er, racehorse owners come into the store and talk about their horses.

The first track bet I ever made was on the Maiden Race for a gelding.  She went off at 40-1.  I bet $50 on her twenty years ago.  She won.  You do the math.   The owner said the horse set an unofficial track record.  I mentioned this to the lawyer(####)brother of my best friend.  Suddenly, I had lawyers calling me at home for racing tips.  My Dad laughed his A-S-S off and my Mom was concerned.

Right there, I was hooked on horse racing(not harness racing, which is fixed...hahahahaha).  When I hit that first bet, I went home and dropped $100 dollar bills in my Dad's hands, telling him that I was re-paying him for paying my college tuition.  I told Dad that I would always pay him half of my winnings to pay for college. 

You can watch movies about the racetrack and you'll laugh, yet the stereotypes are correct.  Plenty of fools are hyping a horse they don't bet on.  They're trying to increase their odds.  That's the real world.

When I did graduate, the track had paid for my 4 years of college and I was proud every time I brought my Dad cash.  I know he was really happy.  I still remember the first and only time my Dad poured me a drink of Whiskey, three fingers and three ice cubes.  His advice was priceless.  "Put the same effort into becoming a better man as you have into paying Mom and I for your college."

Since then, I have loved horse racing.

I've gambled on Quarter Horses in Vinton, LA.  I'm so ashamed.

To this day, I watch every Triple Crown race, hoping that some lucky horsey will win the big enchilada....all three races.

It's become apparent that winning the Triple Crown is harder than winning Back To Back NCAA Football National Championships.

This year, no horse will win the Triple Crown, again.

Numerous news outlets are reporting that Ricky No-Seeds Williams has tested positive for Marijuana again.

This will disqualify the known doper from NFL reinstatement.

Is anyone really shocked by this?

Hopefully he can fall back on his anticipated career as an aroma the#### or massage representative.  (the site just bleeped the word t-h-e-r-a-p-i-s-t)

Add Culpepper's anticipated absence from the Dolphins this year and we have a franchise in transition.

With the multi-million dollar signing bonuses, some NFL low-lifes have enough to retire on at their original contract signing.  There's no need to honor the legal contract and perform.

It's time for Ricky to be purged from all media discussions.

Calgon take me away!

Arkansas Dissed: Dana Altman, basketball coach of Creighton, backed out of his hiring at Arkansas.

After the introductory  press conference, Altman announced he's returning to Creighton.

This turnaround occurred after Altman told the Hog crowd, "I hope to retire here."  Apparently he didn't like the hotties or the Arkansas lottery payouts.

The official reason:  "It was a family decision."

This is a smoke screen.

My source in the NCAA, Eric Cartman, has told me Creighton University, a fine Jesuit-Catholic Institution, didn't like the thought of Altman leaving and appealed to a higher power.

I checked in with Sister Mary of the Our Lady of the Perpetual Jump Shot and she led me right to the Vatican.

If you were in Rome last night, you saw the light on all night in the Pope's residence.  It is now reported that Pope-a-palooza IX is a big Creighton fan.  His Vatican name is Biggie P and he's rumored to have mad skillz on the Vatican hardwood.

When queried by the Italian media, Pope-a-palooza said,

"I was a Notre Dame fan until they hired Gary Moeller.  I've been a BlueJay ever since, boy-ee!  Besides, have you seen Notre Dame play.  Holy Cross is my backup school.  Hell, I cheer for Rutgers, too.  Big ups for their football and ladies basketball this year!"

Altman will meet with the Pope upon returning to Creighton.

Arkansas will now focus on hiring Pokey Chatman, former LSU womens Basketball coach. 

Frank Broyles said, "By hiring her, we're guaranteed media coverage."

Altman's reversal is a laughing irony for Nebraskans, Creighton's home state.  (Since no one knows where the heck Creighton is.)

Four years ago, a University of Nebraska jet sat on the Fayetville runway, waiting to pick up Houston Nutt and announce the Razorbacks Football coach as the new Husker coach.  Hey Nutt, I bet you wish you made the move now.

We now resume our regular news cast, covering Anna Nicole, 24/7.