As we type, another network is pushing a segment on Title Town.  Ok, them is fighting words, Vern.   This is as stupid as claiming which NCAA football conference is the best.  Several conferences need to travel TO bowl games instead of playing at home stadiums before the masses will offer total respect.  Remember the four-letter network's terrible "Who's Now" segment last year?  I'm still hosing down the living room to remove the stench.  This is more of the same refuse.

No city owns the Title Town moniker and plenty of fine citizens will offer to fight over the name.

Green Bay was ONCE known by that name; it's lame to make a claim to a name that has applied only ONCE since the late 1960's.  Let it go, Green Bay.  Be happy you still have an NFL franchise.  Los Angeles will be sniffing for an NFL team in a few years.

Please feel free to toss replies with team/franchise nicknames that really piziss you off.  Yes, I live in DFW; I grew up despising the Cowboys, since Pearson pushed off on the Hail Mary pass against my beloved Vikes!

What franchise do you hate and why?  Here are the leading contenders.

NFL-

America's Team!  That was a name created for a NFL FILMS video.  Tex Schramm and his Cowboys cronies jumped on it and the flea bag media and fans kept it going.  Hey!  Every sport needs a Dr. Evil franchise for everyone else to hate.  Philly fans should be happy it's not them the rest of the leagues hates and is jealous of, too.

In the 80's the SuperStation, TBS, a Turner commodity, attempted to bogart the name, America's Team, for the Braves.  Didn't work, did it.  How can a team from a city that can't build a freeway to loop the city be hated?  Well, unless Ray Lewis has a weapon, I'm not worried!

The New England Pats are rising on the hate charts, courtesy of the video camera and three, lame three point SuperBowl wins(?).

MLB-

The prissy Yankees and their astronomical payroll win in an uncontested match.  How can we not hate the Yankees!  It's as easy as ' A squared + B squared = C squared.'  The highest payroll in the western hemisphere can't buy titles any more.  I love it.  Red Sox fans, quit your crying.  You're the second most hated franchise in  MLB, since your 'Johnny come lately' fans have a huge sense of entitlement.  Go back to worshipping Dennis Leary, please.  Anyone know who's the daddy of A-Rod's kids? 

NHL-

Let's face it, Detroit is the bomb.  This is the Title Town of the NHL.   I respect the pizza franchise dictator's running of the Red Wings.   This only leaves teams with dirty players and that leaves Sean Avery, dirtbag-turd.  The NHL created a rule, during the playoffs because of this swine.   Wait, he just signed with the Stars.  Whoops!  I'm not impartial any more.  Fans are more jealous of the Red Wings than anything else.

NBA-

That's  beyond easy, since Kindergarten kids hate the Lakers.  There's nothing more to say.  At least the Police Blotter has not included Lakers lately.

MLS-

Psych.  The masses aren't watching.

Gentlemen, start your fisticuffs. 

The past week was filled with juicy sports stories and terrible news for MLB.  Here's the Week That Was.

A) MLB  Mrs. Clemens, Debbie, has admitted to using HGH before a swimsuit photo shoot.  I wonder where McNamee injected her.  Maybe she took something orally instead.  I can't wait for the public disclosure.  Can Roger's denial about steroids and HGH be believed if he had his wife injected?  Goodbye first ballot Hall of Fame!  Sit next to Barry on the Group W bench, please.   Buh-bye.   Andy P. dropped a dime on Roger.  Here's a shot of the two preparing their testimony.  Add your own punch line. 

2) NBA Mavericks trade for Jason Kidd has hit a snag and it involves: The Early Bird Exception!  That's a legit collective bargaining clause.  It seems to be a two year qualifying event instead of three.  Whatever!  I could write the specifics, but that would involve math and stuff.  It's the weekend, thank you.  The deal can be salvaged by repackaging the contract of Christian Laetner, Keith Van Horn or some other dead dude: I can't remember which.

D) MLB Kevin Mench, AKA Shrek, has signed a minor league deal.  Rangers fans, both of em', immediately bought six game ticket packages.  Kevin is known for his large head, which still is tiny compared to the Bonds cranium.  Shrek's cap size is 8 point something.  The competition will be fierce for the extra outfielder position.  The Mench bobblehead was truly that.

If you picked up on the numbering for the first three items, you're a fan of quotes from Home Alone.

7) NBA  The Basketball Hall of Fame finalists include likely entrants: Adrian Dantley, Patrick Ewing, Hakeem Olajuwan, a couple coaches and some foreign dudes I don't know.  Look for a name player to get hosed in favor o####irl who played Iowa High School basketball and scored 20 per game. 

Q) NFL  Pats fans will be on the defensive as a former Rams player and fans have filed a $100,000, 000.00 dollar federal lawsuit.  Seems they believe the Pats pattern of cheating is racketeering.  Sic em'!    Related to this is the NFL revelation that the Pats taped Steeler defensive coaches during four games from 2001-2004, which included two AFC Championship games.  The Pats won three of the four.  Yikes!  More fodder for the flames?

Red) NBA  The All Star game is on today or tonight.  Of all the major sport All Star games, this is the best and I'm not watching this joke, either.  There's no defense and bad shooting.  It looks like a High School JV game with the hot dogging.  The hilight is Charles Barkley's mouth.  I hope Strahan retires from the NFL soon.  We need him in the booth.

3)  NASCAR  Left Turn fans rejoice over the beginning of the 2008 season.  Yes, the Daytona 500 is finally here.  "Right Turn Clyde."    I do have one suggestion to the France family.  Move the race to the week before the Super Bowl.  We have nothing to do that week.  The ratings would rule.  I'll tune into the in progress race shortly.  It's hard to choose who I cheer for.  I know I'd like to hang with Tony Stewart and b-smack Kurt Busch.  Good times.

R) Ammo was on sale this week, so I'm a happy camper.  

Here we are after a full season of NFL football.  The playoffs are over and we now have the most exciting possible matchup of the New England Patriots vs. What the $%&@!

This is a great matchup if you're a Patriots fan or extreme optimist from the Meadowlands, NJ.  How did this happen to us.

I'm setting the over/under on "that's why they play the game" cliches at three per half hour preview show.

The big winner today was New England.  They may  will finally win a Super Bowl by more than three points.  I imagine an opening Vegas Line of 14 points.  I'll be watching the Super Bowl for the commercials again.   Tabasco may have something new.  I loved that mosquito going up in flames.  Monster will waste millions on a bad ad.  That's always amusing.

The network has to love this captive television audience matchup.  Yawn!

Hey, who wants to take up bowling, crochet or maybe go skeet shooting for the next two weeks?  We don't have to spend our time arguing about the Super Bowl.

Goliath must go down and he must go down hard!  Go Giants!

I love those Budweiser clydesdales.  We could talk about what commercials Bud and Pepsi should do.  AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is so wrong.  I'll be watching the Fox Soccer Channel soon.

Below: Sports reporters and Bloggers react to the Super Bowl matchup.  Oh the humanity.

The Patriots amazing and record tying regular season is finally complete.  Congratulations to the Patriots fans who saw the record run.

Still, it's not good enough.  The Patriots MUST run the table or be labeled the biggest bust in NFL history.  The pressure is on as the Patriots begin the post-season.  Losing is inconceivable, yet for the rest of us, a desired event.

This just in...the Patriots are possibly the biggest cheaters in the history of the league.

The record team/coach fine of $750,000.00 is incomprehensible. 

Has any modern team lost their first round draft pick as a penalty for cheating and paid a huge fine?  Team owner Kraft didn't go the public route and dispute the NFL cheating charges.

The Patriots aren't tarnished, they're rusty.  Time won't be kind as fans of 31 teams will always bring up the Pats Video-Gate episode.

Many of us are still waiting to hear ALL the facts about the cheating.   We probably won't hear much due to the NFL's desire to protect itself.  The 32 owners will circle the wagons, play mum and hope we all forget Video-Gate. 

The ratings from Saturday night's Patriots at Giants game had to be record breaking as it was shown on three networks.  That was a subject of the guys at Sunday breakfast.  Viewers watched hoping the G-men would upset the Patriots; yet it didn't happen.  This game was without bad officiating and replay, like the Patriots/Ravens game.

I love the Holy Grail records.  We need something to strive for that can't be reached because it's too inconceivable.

Bob Beamon's record long jump of 29' 2.5" could never be broken, could it?  Mike Powell beat the record and fans were in shock.  Beamon hasn't lost his lustre in the eyes of fans and neither will the 72 Dolphins.

As the NFL post-season begins, fans of 31 teams will cheer against the Pats, whose fans won't understand.  Baseball fans were blind to steroids and HGH for far too long; we're sick of cheating, especially institutional cheating.

Sit back and enjoy the playoffs.  Better yet, you better take one of these pills to help you understand the ends justify the means.

Cheaters Prosper.

Ok, I really hate Boston.  I'm already sick of the current successes in major sports.  For decades, Boston fans have been the ones we really pitied.  No more.   Via recent sports emergence, we fans now hate Boston.  Congratulations Boston, you can't use the 'pity card' any more.  Please drop it off at the public library.

1 The Red Sox ARE the new Evil Empire.  With the second highest sports payroll in the western hemisphere, why should a fan feel sorry for the Red Sox.  The current Santana Sweepstakes is a prime example of Red Sox' deep pockets.  Winning may make the country hate the Sox more than King George's Yankees.  

2 The Boston Celtics(love em') are the darlings of the NBA and media.  Add in the cute new uniforms and we have a Malibu Barbie sighting in the Fleet Center, or whatever it's called after the latest corporate takeover.

3 The New England Patriots.  How can fans not dislike a team that won three SuperBowls because of a frickin' kicker!  Then the team let the guy go to Indy, where he picked up another Ring.  Way to go.

4  Did I mention three SuperBowls won by a kicker?  All the wins could have been losses.  Ok, it's the Salary Cap Era and only NE has dominated.  I can't respect a NFL player who can perform his NFL duties and fire up a smoke at the same time.  Sorry, that's how I feel.  Hey, I saw that movie.

5   Junior Seau, the Dennis Erickson of players, jumped from the Chargers to Miami, to wherever, to retirement, then to New England, where he suddenly had the desire to play again.  Sorry Junior, you lost my first ballot HOF vote for that panty waisted activity.  Man up and admit that the Pats recruited you while under contract.

6  Video Gate!!!   Did we need this atrocity to distort our beliefs of fair and pure competition in the NFL.  Oh, the humanity(whatever that means).   How could the Pats brass have the brass to give a coach a video camera during the game.  Now all the Super Bowl wins are tainted in many eyes, forever.  Pats fans will be forced to defend all those wins in bar fights.  Wait, that's a normal Boston activity called Tuesday.

7  Randy Moss was stolen from the Raiders for the price of a slightly used lobster!  The Pats coughed up more for Wes Welker, yes, Wes Welker, than they did for Moss.  Blame the Raiders for helping New England re-load!

8 Coach Belichick.  First, the spelling of the name and name itself is an issue.  'Chick?  Then "The Hoodie" comes to mind.  Ever heard of clothing named after a coach, other than the Tom Landry fedora?  Nope.  Who cares if the coach is a slob.  We like to see chili sauce on the front.  That makes us believe Coach B is human and has his wife yell at him too.   What? Oh, really?  Mrs. Coach B filed for divorce?  See Bill, you should have dressed better.

9  Tom Brady  Baby Daddy!  This guy has the pick of the litter with all the kittens out there.  That should be reason #1, yet I'll cut him some slack since Bridget probably yells at him enough.  Baby Daddy!  At least he doesn't have a bunch of bad prison tats of his family all over him, I hope.

(she cleans up nicely)

10 A major sports network is bombarding us with self-serving promo commercials, featuring a 'Boston guy' who is smarter than you.  It comes off as poor man's Dennis Leary and was old after the second commercial, my friend.