It's time for a song.  Let's sing it together to the tune of The Brady Bunch.

                  Makes you wonder?

Here's the story, of an alleged doper

Who was using steroids and HGH.

All of them had side effects, like no other,

The last one was little nuts.

Here's the story of a company named Balco,

Who was busy with new drugs of their own,

They were illegal drugs, working together,

Yet they were barely known.

Till one day when Barry met this Balco

And they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That this group would all dope up together.                            

That's the was they became the Balco Bonds Bunch.

The Balco Bonds Bunch.

That's  the way they all became the Balco Bonds Bunch.

The Balco Bonds Bunch.

(Apologies to Sherwood Schwartz)

Bonds when he arrived at San Francisco           Bonds soon after

Shoe:    10.5                                              
                13(yeah, right)

Jersey:   42                                                
                52(muscle only?)

Hat         7 1/8                                               
             7 1/2

Reality.  The MLB's negotiated drug policy has not allowed blood tests which would show HGH and designer steroids.  Wink, Wink!  

I don't want to hear anything about "no tests have shown Bonds to be a doper."

Leave that logic to Dr. Evil.    

 "Barry is our love child with my head!"      

 "Don't mess with my baby boy!   Scott, come massage Mommy's bunions!"