“We’ve got food, yes we do, we’ve go too much food, how about you!” 

 With world starvation, the Chinese government propping up a holocaust inducing Sudanese government and the NY Yankees going to h-ell, we have competitive eating on center stage...and I watched it all, scotch in hand and Cope in mouth.  Why, because I can and it’s July 4th!   This spectacle should make commies think twice about their governments.  

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This one hour television event was like a Triple Crown race, 50 minutes of hype and speculation, followed by a quick race.  The difference is that at Nathan's the contestants may puke during the contest.  Woof Cookies results in a DQ.  It's bad for the contestant, yet great television on the 4-letter sports network’s first channel.  The color commentators gave us background on the eaters, like they’re important World Series of Poker players.  I love this stuff!  What do people in other countries think about this television garbage?  “Eater xxx is an impressive force, but you still go against the clock.”  Say what!  The Brooklyn beach shots showed plenty of natives to be inhaling unhealthy levels of food, too.  Thanks for the visual on that one.

 As competitive eating fans know, in 2007 Kobayashi had arthritic jaw injury, which allegedly hamper the defense of his Six Time record.   Analysts thought it to be a ruse, which it was.  Kobayashi showed up at the last minute, intending to play mind games with Joey Chestnut, his heir apparent.  How does one end up with an arthritic jaw at an early age?  (Insert adult joke here.)

 This is a spectacle to watch reasonably small dudes compete in an eating contest.  There’s actually a competitive circuit for this ####!  A video game is available, too!

Joey Chestnut - American Idol

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We now go to the event:

 The ten minute event began with the crowd countdown.  The record of 66 hot dogs must go down and go down hard.

 2008 included a rule change!  GASP!!!!   The Nathan's crew researched the event going back to WWI, when the contest lasted ONLY TEN MINUTES.  The 2008 event is now TEN minutes, not 12.   “Man, this screws up my smush and inhale strategy, dude.  I’m gonna sue.”

 Kobayashi started out slow and as Chestnut leapt ahead by a few dogs.  At the six minute mark, Kobayashi closed the gap as this horse race continued neck and neck.   No one else was close.  At seven minutes, Chestnut began to struggle with the puke reflex.  With one minute remaining, Kobayashi pulled ahead by three dogs.  This is going to a photo puking finish as both hit 59 dogs!

 It’s declared a TIE!  A five dog eat-off will determine the winner and the future of the free universe!  The first to eat the five is the winner.  The judges have difficult decisions and we need video replay.  Chestnut wins with a photo finish!  The world remains free.

(My opinion - I could not see that Mr. Chestnut had shoved in all 5 overtime hot dogs any more than Mr. Kobayashi.  This should have gone to Penalty Hot Dogs.)

 I’m buying my “Joey Chestnut Swallows” t-shirt a.s.a.p.!

 I feel like throwing up after watching this schadenfreude event. 

The hungry world weeps in silent protest...again!

 Ok, I fudged a bit an used my 2007 write up on the same contest as framework for this blog.