Occasionally a conference or conference division stinks up the bowl schedule. This year it was the Big XII's south division. I'm leaving the Big Ten off the hook, since they now have a blue placard hanging from their rearview mirror.
Let's break down the Big XII bowl season!
Tostito's Fiesta Bowl
Texas -9 vs. Ohio State
The viewers would have been best served if this game went to 847 overtimes and all the players died of old age without bankrupt medicare coverage. The insipid Ohio State band playing that silly tune, while wearing their Girl Scout berets, made me want to buy cookies from cute little girls.
This game featured poor coaching that should get peeps fired. Texas blew their first half by going for it on 4th and 7 on the OSU 42. This should have resulted in an OSU field goal. Didn't happen.
Ohio State blew the game by crowding the line in the final 30 seconds, allowing Tejas to score an easy TD. Fire some people today, sweater vest dude.
Cotton Bowl
Texas Tech -5 vs. Ole' Miss
Blech! Way to play down to the lowest possible denominator, coach Leach! Texas Tech is Latin for AHOGA.
Pacific Life Holiday Bowl(I'm sick of jumping whales, which have nothing to do with insurance anyway.)
Okie State -3 vs. Oregon College of Truck Bumper Uniforms
This was a track meet. I went to the closet and pulled out my old Oregon Waffle track shoes. Yes, they're real shoes. Oregon won on the back stretch as Okie State blew a hammie on the final turn. This was a great bowl game for the viewers.
Now, let's salute the real giant killers of the conference, the mighty Big XII North!
Valero Holiday Bowl(I'm a stockholder)
Missouri -13 vs. Northwestern Wilbon University
This was Chase Daniel's worst game as a baller. The game went to the final minute and Daniel's lousy play didn't cause a loss, just rejoicing by Northwestern bettors who collected. All hail the soccer dude kicking field goals. Hey Chase, think 7th round, if you're lucky. Better yet, learn to love the CFL.
Insight Bowl(what the heck is an Insight!)
Kansas -10 vs. Minnesota Fight'n Gerbils
Kansas prevailed and covered the spread. The better team won as most Gerbils players were worrying about the Vikes' Starcaps conspiracy. This was a good game for three quarters.
Konica Minolta Gator Bowl...best name since the Poulan Weedeater Bowl! Visualize a gator with a camera or copy machine!
Nebraska +2.5 vs. Clemson's Quarterbackless Tigers
This was a painful game to watch as Clemson showed they subscribed to the Minnesota Vikings theory of "We don't need a stinking quarterback." Nebraska did all they could to spot the mediocre Tigers a nice lead. The highlights of this game were the goofy color commentator and correct calls from the replay booth. The Cornholers came back from mediocrity with strong defense and the best quarterback you've never heard of. QB Ganz has done more with less than any QB in the Big XII.
Oklahoma, it's up to you to save the honor of the weak Big XII South.
Then again, the Big Ten(Plus Penn State) didn't play for squat this bowl season, either. All hail Iowa!
I now turn it over to Lisa H and the USC Song Girls who will sing I Think I'm Turning Japanese.
After that, we resume the BCS championship game smack talking and made up quotes for two days.
Ok kids, it's the most wonderful time of the year...inspired by Andy Rooney.
The BCS is a mess and the NFL playoff picture is clear as mud. Welcome to my favorite time in football.
The Heisman Trophy is still up for grabs; all we hear of are players from Top Ten teams. Find someone else this year, please. Media pundits name the QB of the most recent big Saturday night game as the front runner.
Tom Brady will play for team XXX in 2009. What a terrible thing to have two Pro-Bowl caliber Qbs! Remember how Brady got his current NFL gig. Franchise tag anyone? "Gee kid, we're slapping the franchise tag on you and guaranteeing you $14million. Hope you're not upset."
The NFC North is its usual cauldron of stewed pieces and parts. No team has stepped up, except for Detroit who took a step back the first game of the season. Buh-Bye Lions. Even your Thanksgiving game is a terrible thing to watch. Put the "L" in the book against the Titans now.
Donovan McNabb will play for the Vikes or whom next year? His +$10million salary in 2009 probably says he's gone after the past two years of bad team play. The same happened to Culpepper, yet people cry how McN is being disrespected. Please disrespect me for that kind of money.
Texas and Oklahoma have the pleasure of waiting for the Big XII Championship Game berth. If tied, the highest BCS ranked team advances. After OU's slaughter of TxTech, it's up in the air with the computers making the decision here. In north Texas, plenty of families are cross-bred with Okies and Texas fans. That should make for some fun Thanksgiving meals and a few shootings. Look for the coaches to do their own lobbying. If OU looks good against Okie State, I bet OU will advance.
T.O. is happy. How couldn't he be after he played a private track meet gig against the Niners.
In Indianapolis, a 14 year old girl wants to play baseball, yet the Indy high school officials say the rules prohibit her from playing since softball is available. Let her play. Then again, any time boys want to play field hockey or any other sport on the girl's play list, the guys get to play.
Emmitt Smith is beyond painful to listen to from the ESPN booth. How did he escape college or the great U of F without a basic understanding of the word, 'be.' "They be, he be, they gots to..." AHHHHHHH!!!
Lendale White's(TN Titans) internal punk showed during a post-game interview and whining session about carries. The best part was how he was playing with his earrings during most of the idiotic discussion. This kept popping into my mind. "Coach treats us like men and lets us wear earrings." Well, that and did the USC alumni buy the earrings?
Bama and Florida,conqueror of The Citadel, will play for the BCS berth. Why haven't we been seeing Bama games this year? Whassupwidtdat?
Notre Dame lost to a team without a head coach. (Insert joke here.) Ok, it's not cool to make fun of the footballically challenged teams.
The NBA has had no high profile arrests this season. This makes me wonder, knowing the past police blotter activity.
Bill Snyder has agreed to come out of retirement to coach the mighty Kansas State f'ball team. Bill who, you say? This guy turned around one of the worst football programs, retired and got bored. Joe Pa told him he'd be bored at 69. The dude has a stadium and highway named after him and still he can't stay away. Two words Bill...Las Vegas!
Joe Paterno is going to have hip surgery. The words "hip" and "Paterno" shouldn't be in the same paragraph, unless it's about surgery.
I just saw Suzy Kolber, of ESPN, on HDTV. That makeover intervention paid off! If Joe Namath could only get her alone again.
Mark Mangino, coach of Kansas f'ball, is still wider than my HDTV wide screen!
That's my time. Lisa H is up next and will sing "Born To Be Alive" with Patrick Hernandez.
Way to go Michigan, you certainly hired away a winner.
Rodriguez is now using the media to avoid his $4 million dollar buyout clause. Coach R has offered up a $1.5 million Letter of Credit in place of his $4 million obligation. Ok, the courts will rule it's not enough.
The reality is coach R and his attorneys asked for a big contract from WVU and WVU asked for a buyout clause. Rodriguez wants out and is using the media as his mouthpiece. You're pathetic, Rich. Michigan and the rabid fans of college football deserve better.
Wouldn't it be great to offer your creditors 38 cents on the dollar for your debts? All you have to do is have your lawyer call the media and badmouth your creditor...like Rodriguez.
Pay up Rich. Judge and jury are the last thing you need. You've already claimed the WVU president verbally rescinded your buyout clause in a private discussion. Yeah, right! Here's the reality of your situation: You've dumped your wife for the prettier, younger girl, and unfortunately for you, your wife has an attorney. You owe WVU some alimony, punk.
Rich, you're clearly not good enough for Michigan or any other reputable program. You've shown your true colors. Michigan, is there a way for you to cancel your contract? Rodriguez has shown precedent. Contracts don't matter.
After 11 months, I've decided to write something about my college team. Here are the Top 10 reasons Tom Osborne fired Bill Callahan.
10-There ain't no 'D' in Callahan. This says far too much.
9-College and NFL coaches aren't interchangeable. Deal with that concept.
8-The West Coast Offense doesn't fly in the Midwest fall. See 40 mph winds. Bayoudog says, " You need arms to tackle."
7-The defensive coordinator hid in the booth for 4.5 years. Death to Cosgrove. This guy couldn't motivate the Viet-Cong to gather rice!
6-"Defense, we don't need no stinking defense!" Osborne's 25 years of coaching yielded 40 points on defense only FIVE times. Callahan's 2008 team had six 40 point allowances. Buh-Bye, Bill, thanks for flying American. Get out of the state now! I heard the Rams are hiring. Ooh, it's triple coupon day at Kroger, Bill, drive there now.
5-Callahan dismantled the walk-on program, which provided a starter every year. Nebraska kids dream of walking on, contributing and earning a scholarship.
4-The NCAA career rushing leader was turned down by Callahan, so he went to a Div II school and set the national rushing record.
3-Callahan removed pictures of past All-Americans and stopped former players from dropping by and talking to current players. Bad move, sparky!
2-Bill Byrne defected to Tejas A&M and was busy firing Franchione.
1-No one replaces a state legend, unless they win the National Championship. Solich looks pretty good now, even with the tire tracks from the bus tires.
The Nation of Corn is in mourning and rejoicing at the same time. Callahan was the wrong fit for a college team. Remember Butch Davis? Same problem. Any college coach who says, "Whoops!" after a loss deserves to be driven from the state. Callahan's play calling was suspect in big games and all other games. No true Husker fan wishes him any negativity in his future. We just want him gone. In our lives, seasons with three losses were reasons to cry. During the Callahan era, a three loss season would have been reason to rejoice. Times change, yet love of of our teams never will.
Fo schizzle, mah nizzle.
The best to to you and yours this holiday season. Peace out!
Hell freezes over, story at 10. Today, cats and dogs are living in peace.
Kansas is the only undefeated, major conference football team. This alone is why they deserve the #1 college football ranking. Through the year, CFB poll voters and bloggers have discriminated against the historically basketball school.
"But SLSHusker, my team from the mighty conference XXX clearly deserves the #1 ranking after Ohio State went down!"
Oh really, answer this my gel wearing friend! If USC or Oregon or Oklahoma or LSU or Florida were the only undefeated, major conference team and wasn't ranked #1, wouldn't you scream about injustice in blogger land and in public? If you say no, you're being hypocritical and we know it.
The Kansas Jayhawks must still beat Mizzou and the Big XII South champ to possibly advance to the BCS Championship game.
There's plenty of season left and upsets remain.
No team has a birth right to the top spots in the BCS. Every win is sacred and only Kansas has managed to win them all, so far. Claiming Team X is hotter doesn't matter. No losses does matter.
Begin arguing about who's #2 in case Kansas runs the table.
Trivia question: How many games today had total scores over 100 points?
As a Nebraska Cornhusker Football fan(cornholer, children of the corn, cornholio, etc.) it is clear that rooting for my team is without consequence this year or next. Dr. Tom must excise the demons of Callahan before my support has positive results.
All you need to do is reply with your bid for my cheering services for 2007 and the full year for 2008(college football only). Be creative, but not sick and twisted. I'm not Deuce Bigelow! No, I don't want a frickin' paperclip, like some dude used on eBay to trade up to a house, somewhere in Canada. I recommend Bourbon or similar. CHUX, I do not want any Golden Gate ditch weed! That stuff stinks, in many ways. Hint! Bluegrasslady. This is your chance to have me cheering on the BLUE. The winner will be required to send me a t-shirt with your team's name splattered across it...in addition to your bid.
Understand, this is FOR RENT ONLY!!!
Yes, I will still cheer my team on, behind the scenes. Yet, I realize my mojo has great value and can be used to support the team of another. Burnt Orange fans need not reply.
This year, being filled with upsets, is particularly unstable for the College Football Fan(Non-Playoff Division). You may not realize how badly you need my help as a Top Five fan.
"What! Are you crazy. You can't sell your soul for the next 1.5 college football seasons. Only I can deal for souls, you fool!"
Relax, Spaz. When's the last time you had a job, anyway! This is a rental offer only. Deal with it. I am. Booze or pills are not the answer. The offer is to cheer for your team for the remainder of the 2007 College Football season and the full year 2008. Operator standing by.
This offer is in effect until I choose a winner or choose not to choose a winner, based on any bids. Sole discretion of the winner is by me and only me. No contract is expressed or implied by this offer. Not valid in Guam, South Dakota or New York. A chosen winner who does not reply to a winning confirmation is in default to the rights won and will have this noted on his/her Permanent Record. Satan and I will choose the subsequent winner. Winner will send me a football t-shrit for their team in addition to the winning bid. Word to ya muthah!
Other than no Plus-One to determine a National Champion, the true evil is the Pre-Season poll. As a result of the early poll, undeserving teams are highly ranked and others claim a birth right to their position. This year Michigan proved to be a complete poll bungle and USC is claiming #1 status after having beaten only Idaho, followed by a bye week. I believe we should have NO POLLS until after the third game of the season. This will give us a better picture of reality and shake out the crumb bumbs and shoe clerks(poker reference).
Think about the cliché arguments used by a team that drops after barely beating an unranked rival. “But we won, so we shouldn’t lose our #1 position, etc.” Play quality opponents, win and the polls will reward the team. If you choose not to, another team will take your position. That’s how it is in the adult world called, work.
Sure, the NCAA can’t enforce stopping the polls; the NCAA can refuse to allow participation by the teams and coaches with any media service producing an early poll. That would force the media to listen and act. Is it realistic? Probably not.
This year, I rank LSU as 1A and Oklahoma as 1B. These teams have played two games each and have defeated quality opponents. USC has only played Idaho and is ranked #1. This makes no sense. Start mumbling and cursing my name now, USC fans.
Still, there’s plenty that’s right about College Football for the fans. We have total cable saturation and can watch about any conference, Thursday thru Saturday. Right now, seven games are being broadcast. Go back 30 years. ABC broadcast one game a week. Only the top tier teams made the schedule and the nation watched. Cable exploded during the 80’s and the NCAA noticed. Conferences signed contracts with the networks and cable networks. The fans and the sport have benefited. Add the internet and bloggers have plenty to discuss and argue about. We share college football opinions, stories, memories and the occasional recipe. It’s almost ALL good. Get rid of the Pre-Season poll and I’ll be happy.
Since I don't sing, it seemed best to put some Irish into the song and let the words speak for themselves.
There once was a team in Ann Arbor,
Who thought scheduling schmucks was safe harbor,
As coach said with chagrin,
While blood rolled down his chin,
I thought Division 1-AA s-uh-ucked!
...all rights reserved by slshusker press, pizissing off fans since 2006
Looking at the last 40 years, Michigan has done the least to keep their high reputation. They have one Split National Championship to show for their work.
What #### scheduled the best team in 1AA as the first game of the year! The best outcome would have been a win; the worst outcome is a career killer. Congrats Lloyd, your team is now being discussed as taking the worst beatdown, ever, in Division 1-A.
Why didn't Michigan schedule an overrated loser, like Notre Dame as their first game!
It's time to deal with the true Satan, pre-season polls. Anyone publishing a pre-season, football poll will be forced to watch the WNBA for 7 straight days!
This was just Week 1 of the season; we'll see many more upsets. Remember, several years ago, the NCAA reset the scholarship limits, stopping the football factories from stocking up on players. The Have Nots have risen and are able to step up and stomp on Goliath.
Alrighty then. It seems the Sooners have been forced to vacate their 2005 Football wins.
"Booster Payoffs...they're not just for breakfast any more."
What's with this word, vacate? The opposition gets the win and it's like OU never played the game? Coach Stoops career record now reflects fewer wins, yet may not have more losses. Color me confused.
The Sooner football boosters are responsible for this debacle, along with a QB and other lowlife, no longer with the team. If I recall, the car dealer- booster who paid off the players, lost his franchise, too. This is bad news for the NCAA and football fans everywhere. The incident isn't unique to the Sooners. It happens everywhere, whether it be payoffs to the players or the player's family, via free rent in Cali.
What a wonderful way to get ready for the 2007-8 season! NCAA sanctions. This stinks.
This blog was created quickly without much concern for formatting. Peace!
Statistics are a dangerous when handled by zealots.
I believe Burnt Orange isn't a color, it's a disease.
The DH rule should be elimintated.
I like cats and dogs...cats taste more like chicken.
Women are god's greatest creation.
Barry Bonds was detrimental to sports.
The month after the Super Bowl is sports HELL.
March Madness is the best elongated sports extravaganza.
The Masters is great watching, in spite of Jim 'nancy boy' Nantz.
Anyone spouting political commentary should be barred from this site.
This is a sports blog!
I need a soma.
Irony at its finest!
"Booster Payoffs...they're not just for breakfast any more."
