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by: slshusker
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God Hates the New York Yankees: Sent Waves of Insects
Oct 06, 2007 | 3:22PM | report this

Yes, it's now proven that God, father of the Lord almighty, hates the New York Yankees.  As many sports aficionados will remember with glee, on 10/5, God sent a fleet, covey, flock or whatever, of bugs to unleash his vengeance on the New York Yankees.   Insect specialists at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, NE, have identified the bugs as Canadian Flying Ants.  OK, what the heck is Border Control doing.  Isn't this a department of Homeland Security!  How did millions of Canadians sneak across Lake Erie into Cleveland!  Better yet, how did I know it was Lake Erie?  The nickname, stupid, you know, Mistake on the Lake!

If you don't believe that God hates the Yankees, look at A-Rod's batting average in Yankees-Away-Playoff-Games.  That should be proof enough.  He's batting about 0.111.  Multiply that by six, the number of bug swarms sent 10/5,  and you have .666!    Sp-ooky.

"Can a bug get some Joba Chamberlain around here?  Wait till my cousins  from the south show up for Game 3."

If you're looking for biblical chapter and verse, I'm not the source, so check with Carolyn T.

Watching Joba Chamberlain, a fellow Husker, flail on the mound was beyond comical and gross.  It belonged on late night television.  OFF didn't work.  I had to hurt for Joba, yet cheer for Cleveland.  Still, I'm looking forward to 10/7's Game 3.  I have it on good authority, from the Big Guy, far above, that he's sending the Yankees a new vermin ...Mexican Killer Bees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be afraid, be very afraid, Yankee fans.

Every Division Series is at 2-0!  Advertisers cry in unison.

44 Comments | Add a comment   categories: MLB, New York Yankees, Canadian Flying Ants, Mexican Killer Bees, Carolyn T, Joba Chamber, axe throwing viking warriors
 
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slshusker
Statistics are a dangerous when handled by zealots. I believe Burnt Orange isn't a color, it's a disease. The DH rule should be elimintated. I like cats and dogs...cats taste more like chicken. Women are god's greatest creation. Barry Bonds was detrimental to sports. The month after the Super Bowl is sports HELL. March Madness is the best elongated sports extravaganza.
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