An Ode to the backup QB, most of which stink it up because they're out of step and don't get reps in practice: Apologies to Cheech and Chong!
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the starting QB bonds which have connected them with another receiver, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of bloggers requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation from the rest of the division.
(If you don't know the source obtuse paragraph , please don't vote in November.)
Start singing now...
Backup QB Jones, I got Backup QB Jones Got Backup Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-oo
Yes, I am the victim of a Backup QB Jones Ever since I was a little baby, I always be throwing behind the receiver In fac', I was de passer in the whole neighborhood Then one day, my mama bought me a football And I loved that football I took that football with me everywhere I went That football was like a football to me
I even put that football underneath my pillow Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night I need help, ladies and gentlemens I need someone to stand beside me I need, I need someone to set a screen for me at the line of life Someone I can pass to Someone to hit the open man on the hook and ladder And not end up in the popcorn machine So cheerleaders, help me out
{cheerleaders sing repeatedly...} (football Jones, I got a football Jones) (I got a football Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo)
{while Tyrone Shoelaces sings/speaks...} Oh, that sounds so sweet Sing it out C'mon Coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me That be bad, h-onky Yeah I want everybody in the whole stadium to stand up and sing with us Oh yeah, sing it out like you're proud All right, everybody watchin' coast-to-coast, sing along with us Tony Romo, sing along with us Jerry Jones, sing along with us JokersWild, don't sing nothin'
Oh, it feels so good Gimme the ball I'll go down the field, against the world, left-handed I could force it from the pocket with my toes I could jump on top of the pocket, take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change I could, I could pitch behind my back I got more moves than Ex-Lax I'm bad I could pass with my tongue Here I go down the field, try to stop me You can't stop me 'cause I got a football Jones Here I come That's shovel pass with my eyebrow Yeah, I could dunk it with my nose I'm, I'm bad as King Kong, gimme the ball I'm hot, I'm hot as..., I'm hot as..., I'm hot as... uh Uh, uh, uh, uh...
Any team losing their starting QB will break the fans' hearts. Rarely does a backup step in and succeed. The few that do soon have a hot, model/actress girlfriend who's jumping on the bandwagon and new starter.
Get out your forks, the Cowboys are slow cooking and will be served with a nice brownsugar based barbeque sauce.
Next up, Lisa H and the the USC Song Girls will lead us in "I got a pinkie for sale" to the tune of the Talking Heads - "I got love for sale."
Jokers, I didn't see my alter-ego on the list. I'll review it again. I hope your crack staff didn't award too many hippies.
While watching the C'boys get stomped and the Vikes track meet, the tune popped into my head. Oh well, it's tough being an unmotivated writer. I feel like the lead on Californication!
Then there are the fans....who have hopes of....Derek Anderson taking Wheelies & trick riding 101 from Kellan Winslow........Or even a scalding cup of Mickey D's joe to the ####.....Anything to sideline our starter....
Hey...you never told us which cheerleader was Lisa...
If I guess Declaration of Independece. Can I cast my vote for hottest V.P. candidate ( Like me some Palin)
We hold the hilarity of this post TO BE SELF EVIDENT
Statistics are a dangerous when handled by zealots.
I believe Burnt Orange isn't a color, it's a disease.
The DH rule should be elimintated.
I like cats and dogs...cats taste more like chicken.
Women are god's greatest creation.
Barry Bonds was detrimental to sports.
The month after the Super Bowl is sports HELL.
March Madness is the best elongated sports extravaganza.
The Masters is great watching, in spite of Jim 'nancy boy' Nantz.
Anyone spouting political commentary should be barred from this site.
This is a sports blog!
I need a soma.