Hot on the heels of Daniel Stern's latest anti-Seattle diatribe comes this little piece of information.

Major League Soccer is on the verge of announcing an expansion team into Seattle in time for the 2009 season.  Now, I am not a soccer fan per se, though I find it interesting to watch as a change of pace when the other local sports are not going well, and worked the Sounders games at the Q when it was first opened.  This team will also share playing space at the Q with the Seahawks and the concerts and other events that take place there.

Seahawks owner Paul Allen will also own part of the MLS team, as well, garnering more income (does he really need it??) for both the venue and himself; making him a three sport owner (NBA, NFL and MLS).

This cannot be BAD for Seattle, as there is quite a lively soccer community here, what with our very diverse population.

There is also talk of trying to lure an NHL team into town to become natural rivals with the Canucks a few hours north, be it an expansion team or one that already exists and is struggling in its current venue.  Few people know that the Seattle Metropolitans won the Stanley Cup some seventy-ish years ago, and that we have two good WHL hockey teams within 30 miles of each other in the Seattle Metro area now, both of which enjoy good fan support, and both of which usually  make it into the playoffs at season's end. The T-Birds will be playing in their new arena next season, as well, down in Kent (south of Seattle).

In short, will we miss the Sonics when "Cash Us Clay" (copyright Jim Caple of ESPN's Second Page....) and the commish drag them off to Oklahoma City?  Well, yes, at least I and some of my friends will, but.......don't write Seattle off as a sports town just because they go to a smaller venue where Herr Bennett already says that the Ford Center needs to be refurbished and/or another new arena built Sooner than later (pun intended.

In the immortal words of Gloria ####nor from the disco era "I (We) Will Survive.  And quite nicely, too.

OK, NorCal, you win....I have given in to total depression today. The A's handed the broom to the M's and in a fairly heavy handed manner at that. The white flag is waving, I am about to turn my back on Seattle baseball for the balance of the year and pretend that I once again live in SoCal (just you watch, though, as soon as I do that it is going to be the 2001 season all over again and I won't be able to watch because I have officially deemed them personae non gratis until Spring Training 2007).

That being the case, if I don't laugh (and quick), I will absolutely have to cry and I don't wanna (my eyes are red enough from springtime pollen without THAT, thank you very much). Therefore, I hereby declare today open mic day. Anyone with the chutzpah/#### to do so can stand up right here in front of the rest of us and tell the worst/stupidest sports jokes that you can think of in order to cheer the rest of us up.

I will start.

Top Ten Sports Injuries or Historical Midwest Tourist Destinations, as told by David Letterman on 13 August 1998, but much appreciated by me:

How many of you remember the old childhood game where you would take a daisy or other flower with petals, pull the petals off one at a time, alternately reciting "S/he loves me", "S/he loves me not", "S/he loves me" and so on?  A good many of you, I imagine.

This is about the stage to which Seattle's whole love/hate relationship with the Sonics has devolved.  Howard Schultz and his fellow owners want the City/County/State and/or taxpayers to pony up $220 million to either completely refurbish the Key Arena AGAIN or build them a new arena down near Safeco and QWest Fields, and they want to put up little or none of their own money to do it (Hello, Howard.....you are the founder and CEO of Starbucks....don't tell me you can't afford to help out a little. Paul Allen did when QWest was built!).

Governor Christine Gregoire has been on the record as saying she is in favor of extending the hotel tax that had benefitted the M's and the Hawks in this situation, in order to help the Sonics out.  The Legislature, on the other hand, was NOT in favor of doing this.

The team has apparently been in discussions with the cities of Bellevue WA, Kansas City, Las Vegas, and OK City about moving the team to one of these locations.  Commissioner Stern lambasted the City of Seattle and said that Seattle does not deserve an NBA team.

Lo and behold, today the City (which is the owner of the Key Arena) says that they are willing to "do a deal" to keep the Sonics in town, and all the team has to do is kick in just $18 million. Also, the City of Renton has offered the team a home there (Renton? Give me a break! Renton?)

The Trailblazers and owner Paul Allen are in a similar pickle down in Portland. If both of these teams pack up and leave, there will not be an NBA team in the Great Northwest again. 

Pittsburgh? Still wanna give up your Penguins? I'll trade you the Sonics straight up. Let me know......

A response to Porter peeved about 'guarantee':

I guess that, if Mr. Porter wanted to give the Seahawks some bulletin board material, he has succeeded admirably.

Just exactly where in Jerramy Stevens' statement does he guarantee a Seahawks' victory? One might reasonably construe from his context that he anticipates a victory, but not guarantees one.

Besides, did not Mr. Bettis start it with his "guarantee" that the Steelers would come home with "one for the thumb" (a little hard to do, since none of the current Steelers has even one for the ring finger, much less all four fingers)?

It was only a matter of time before Porter weighed in one way or the other, and it has amused the Seattle team, in that Jerramy has already responded to the comment about putting him on his back every time, "we'll just see about that."

This one's for you, rlb. OK, readers, what is your favorite food item to buy when attending a sporting event at your local baseball, football, hockey or basketball venue (any or all of the above).

I'll start:

1.  Safeco Field:  Chicken Sandwich from Dixie's BBQ, garlic fries from Kidd Valley, and chocolate dipped fruit from Shishkaberry if I am sitting in general field level seats, or the hand carved roast beef sandwiches when I inhabit my usual seats in the Club Level.

2.  QWest Field:  Almost anything and everything that you can get on the Club and Suite levels, but most especially their chocolate chip cheesecake.

3.  Key Arena:  Chicken Fajitas and Chicken Quesadillas.

Next?????