Hi-diddly-#### bloggerino’s! The idea for this post came from discussions on the DIME blog. So enjoy!
These NBA playoffs have led to allot of dumb statements by the average sports fan. And this really isn’t news. Before I give my opinion of the average sports fan, let me give a little disclaimer. When I say “the average sports fan”, I’m talking about people that only watch just because there’s nothing else on. Or people that flip on ESPN for a few minutes and think they know it all. So I am not referring to anyone on this site. Anyone who chats on-line with total strangers about the sport(s) they care about, is way above average. That being said, I feel comfortable with my next statement. In my opinion, the average sports fan is, to put it gently, below average. If you get my drift. You’ll see what I mean in a few moments. Like I said, 5 minutes of SportsCenter does not make you an expert on all things sport. But, that doesn’t stop the average fan from bickering with those passionate about the topic at hand and offering up pure non-sense as fact. Which brings me to the premise of this post.
We are going to have a discussion between Stan “The Average” Sports Fan* and three NBA experts from right here in the Fox blogosphere. Well, two experts and me, Shifty450**. The two experts I have enlisted the help of are Hoffman and quikdrummer***. So…Here we go.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: Cleveland sucks. They didn’t deserve to be in The Finals.
Hoffman says: The Cavs doesn’t “suck”. They just had no business being in the Finals. But that’s the problem with the playoff structure as presently constituted. On the other hand, the Spurs are just that damn good.
quikdrummer says: The Cavs did deserve to be there. They’re a good team. They beat a team in the Pistons that was an Eastern Conference finalist for the past 5 years. It’s the Spurs that shouldn’t be there. Stay the hell away from Pheonix, Mr. Stern.
Shifty450 says: Can’t talk. Eating.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: Whatever. Lebron’s overrated. He’s got no killer instinct and refuses to work on his D.
Hoffman says: Have you watched any of the playoffs? Even I, a Laker fan, have said that Lebron was having a great postseason. He’s having a little trouble with the Spurs, but so does everyone else. That, and he’s stepped up his D immensely since coming into the league.
quikdrummer says: He’s no Steve Nash.
Shifty450 says: Still eating.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: The Pistons are still the best team in the East.
Hoffman says: Their meltdown against Cleveland says otherwise. The Pistons are done.
quikdrummer says: Even before the Pistons got to the ECF, they really let the Bulls back into their semi-finals series. It wasn’t looking good. And without any changes to their roster, things aren’t going to get much better.
Hoffman says: The same can be said for Pheonix.
quikdrummer says: How can you say that, Hoffman? They have Boris Diaw. They’ll be fine.
Shifty450 says: Mmm…Donuts. Okay, what are we talking about?
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: With a healthy Wade, the Heat would have been in the finals.
Heat24 says: Did I hear something about Dwyane Wade? Heat in ’08!
Hoffman says: Maybe. But I doubt it. They weren’t playing that great when he was healthy early in the season. Sub .500 basketball doesn’t equal championship success.
quikdrummer says: Don’t hate, Hoffman. I’ll take it from here. Stan, their chances would have been infinitely better. They probably would have taken Chicago. Shaq vs. Webber down low against Detroit would have been a massacre. And a Cavs-Heat ECF would have drawn the interest of the entire country. But they still would have had to face the Suns. IF IT WASN’T FOR THAT DAMN DAVID STERN! Then they would’ve lost, of course.
Shify450 says: And if I was a little taller, I’d be a baller. Wade wasn’t healthy. They got taken to school by a hungry Bulls team. So I am not even going to speculate. Besides, I thought I was only here for comic relief.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: Why is the Suns mascot a ####?
Hoffman: Good question. quikdrummer?
quikdrummer: DUH! It’s because Gorillas are native to Africa which is a very sunny country.
Shifty450 says: Africa’s a continent.
quikdrummer says: Who made you the geology police?
Shifty450 says: You mean “geography”?
quikdrummer says: Next question please, Stan.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: When’s Tim Duncan going to retire?
Hoffman: Surely you jest.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: Don’t call me Shirley!
quikdrummer says: Not soon enough.
Shifty450 says: I just wish Tim Duncan would stop hugging the ball.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: The officiating has been pretty good this postseason compared to last.
Hoffman says: Hold up. Let’s not get carried away. It hasn’t been bad. It’s generally been fair.
quikdrummer says: I’d agree except for the PHX-SAS series.
Shifty450: Two words. More cowbell.
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: One last question. How much would COULD a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood?
Hoffman says: Why does this last question not surprise me? I’m out of here.
quikdrummer says: A little less than a suspended Amare Stoudemire.
Shifty450 says: Mmm…wood chuck steak. Aaahhhhh…
Stan “The Average” Sports Fan says: Come back! I need closure!
* Stan is an entirely fictional name. I just picked this name because it rhymes with fan. If there is a real Stan Sports Fan out there somewhere, please don’t sue.
** Shifty450 has no useful knowledge whatsoever. If you take anything he says seriously, you’re more helpless than Stan.
*** Hoffman and quikdrummer did not contribute to this post. They were asked for their opinions, but their opinions were kept away from the final post for the purpose of maintaining the comedic nature with which it was intended. So please, Hoffman and quikdrummer, don’t sue.
lebrons D was pretty darn good this postseason... he actualy suprised me.... i was always down on his D, but he played solid D... and the cavs did deserve to be there... they are the ec champions and that qualifies them to be there... the spurs are just one of the best teams we have seen in a while..
shifty ..... I'd like to add at this stage I'll not be accepting donations for the 'Free Paris Hilton Fund'. Far be it for me to discuss everyone's fascination with
this skank !
And at the same time I'd like to add that I do not share Skip Bayless' assesment of LeBron James' game. No matter how mypoic he is. But then again Bayless and Stephen A are akin and more likely than not were separated at birth. Diametrically the opposite of one another but yet not really that different in some of their opinions.
Shout out's to those who picked the Spurs to win the NBA finals. And for those Cavaliers' fans out there. Better luck next time !
And as Forrest would say .....'that's aullll I gotta' say 'bout that now'.
Chimin' out .
