First, I’d like to thank you all for the overwhelming responses of support and encouragement from last week’s blog.  I’ll continue to write blogs on that topic, as this will be a long, difficult battle for me.  And odd as it may sound, the support of you all means allot to me.  But, I don’t want to make it a weekly topic.  I want to keep things fresh.  Maybe I’ll even get invited onto Blog Talk Radio!  Wouldn’t that be something?  So this week, I’ll just let you know that listening to numerous suggestions from last week and implementing them into my daily life, I lost 1 pound!  It’s not much, but I need to start somewhere! 

       Now, let’s move on to the topic of this week.  Things that #### me off!  There’s allot!  SO PAY ATTENTION! 

1. Really fat people that drive little tiny cars.  Now, before you call me a jerk, let me explain.  I’m fat.  So, like black people can call each other the “N word”, I, as a fat man, can freely call other people fat.  So fat people, get a car you can fit comfortably in.  If the car leans when you sit in it, it’s too small.  Maybe NASCAR should hire fat drivers!  Get better traction on the left side for the oval tracks.  What do you think, Cindi?

    

2. Architects and Interior Designers.  There’s a theory, apparently, that these jack-#### prescribe to.  If it looks crappy, it’s trendy, and therefore a good idea.  WRONG!  IT DOESN’T WORK!  I design fire sprinkler systems.  And when I have to fit all my valves, fittings, sprinklers, etc. into your goofy little design or make it look pretty, it makes my life HELL!  It’s harder to do, and therefore takes more time.  And sometimes this results in a monetary loss for the project.  Just because you think it looks cool, doesn’t make it so.

    

3. T-Mobile.  They’re just awful.  If I EVER see Catherine Zeta-Jones in the street, I’m gonna kick her husband square in the mommy-daddy button!  You lying tramp!  I’d love to hit her, but I would never hit a woman.  Wade and Chuck are lucky I find their commercials funny.  Except the “sexy” one.  That’s just weird.

    

4. Customer Support centers.  If English is your second language, you should NOT be working in Customer service.  You should drive a cab or own a convenience store.

    

5. Parents that think they’re clever by giving their kids stupid, excuse me, “unique” names.  I blame the celebrities for this trend.  Listen here all you hippies, just because you try to live like a celebrity by maxing out your credit cards and getting up to your eyeballs in debt, doesn’t make you a celebrity!  Give your kids a normal damn name!  There’s a reason no one else has the same name as your kid.  BECAUSE IT’S STUPID!

    

6. Stubborn people.  The kind of stubborn people that refuse to listen to facts and stats that disprove their thoughts.  The kind of people that prescribe to Homer Simpson’s line of thinking.  “Facts are meaningless.  You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.”  Now I love Homer.  I live my life by Simpson’s episodes.  But even I can admit when I’m wrong.  Which, oddly enough, happens allot.

    

7. High school aged kids.  They’re just idiots.  I just wanna punch them all in the face.

    

8. These people that set their hats on top of their heads crooked.  A hat is supposed to go around and over your head.   Not on top of it where a slight breeze can knock it off.

    

9. People that where sunglasses indoors and at night.  Now, I know some people have sensitive eyes and they have to wear shades all the time.  I don’t have any problem with that.  I’m talking about these people that think they’re cool and need to have sunglasses permanently affixed to their faces.  Again, I blame celebrities for this trend.

    

10. The people that ALWAYS have their hands-free cell phone accessory in their ear.  Even when they’re not on the phone.  I prescribe to the George Carlin line of thinking on this matter.  I say, “Hey spaceman.  Since your hands are free, why don’t you reach over here and juggle my balls.”  My boss is one of these people.  He’s the only man alive that can pull it off.

     

11. These hippy PETA lunatics.  Hey, ####, how do you think that burger got on your plate?  You think there’s KFC, McDonald’s, and Steak farms all over the place growing this stuff?  An animal probably died or sacrificed a bodily excretion (milk you sick-o’s) to fill your belly.  So shut up!

     

12. Parents that count to 3 before making their kid stop doing something wrong.  Go grab the little ####, take him or her into the bathroom, and give them what-for.  In my opinion, counting to 3 is like telling them, “It’s okay to do something wrong as long as you don’t do it for any longer than 3 seconds.”  I just completely disagree with this trend.  Thank you Dr. Spock.

     

13. These sissy “rock” bands like Nickelback, Hinder, etc.  If your music is being played on the local pop station, you’re not a rock band.  And you should be forbidden to refer to yourself as such.

     

14. These idiots in big cities, specifically that I’ve seen in Baltimore and New York, riding dirt bikes and 4-wheelers on city streets.  Riding wheelies, not wearing helmets, weaving in and out of traffic, and not obeying traffic laws.  As someone who’s been riding dirt bikes for 11 years now, this really makes me livid.  There are riders all over the world that obey the laws and restrictions placed on where you can ride these machines.  And most all the riders I’ve met are genuinely terrific people.  Do you hear about them?  No!  All you hear about are these inner-city idiots bringing a bad name to an already ill-received sport.  If I ever am driving and see one of these clowns racing up next to me, I think my door may “accidentally” pop open in front of them.  If you don’t believe me that this is happening, do a search on youtube for “dirt bike concerns”.

You’re probably thinking, “Man, this guy must have major anger management issues.”  I’m actually a real easy going person.  Sure I get pissed.  But do I do anything about it?  No.  I just complain about it later.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but these are the things that come readily to mind.  I’m not asking for your opinions on these items.  If you don’t agree, I’m not sure I really care.  What I wanna hear from you all, is what really gets your goat?  If you wanna be a smart-alec and say something like, “People that write blogs about what pisses them off.”  Go nuts.  I don’t delete any comments.  Thanks for reading.  And I’ll catch you on the flip side.