From The Sloaner's Dreamworld.....(cue mystical sounding music and, wait, what the hell's Tommy the Unicorn doing here? And where's Blossom?)

Wishful thinking no more, fans, the playoffs have arrived!! (And no, I'm not calling it the Bowl Subdivision. Did I miss the public outcry to rename the D-I divisions?). Anyway, the format is a 16-team playoff with minimal disturbance to the current bowl system. How, might you ask? Well, there's no rule that says a playoff HAS to happen in December is there? How about January? Beginning of a semester, minimal disturbance to athletes' classes and holidays (yeah, like that ever truly mattered...). Anyway, the 11 conference champions are in (you too, Sun Belt!), with five at-larges. How are those decided? Well, NOT by a committee, for starters. You simply take the teams with the highest BCS ranking that aren't conference champs. The BCS ranking is also used for seeding purposes. So your field of 16, seeded 1-16 are:

1. Ohio State                (Big 10 Champs)
2. LSU                           (SEC Champs)
3. Virginia Tech           (ACC Champs)
4. Oklahoma                (Big 12 Champs)
5. Georgia                    (First At-Large)
6. Missouri                   (Second At-Large)
7. Southern Cal           (Pac-10 Champs)
8. Kansas                     (Third At-Large)
9. West Virginia           (Big East Champs)
10. Hawaii                      (WAC Champs)
11. Arizona State           (Fourth At-Large)
12. Florida                      (Fifth At-Large)
13. BYU                          (Mountain West Champs)
14. Central Florida       (Conference USA Champs)
15. Central Michigan   (MAC Champs)
16. Florida Atlantic       (Sun Belt Champs)

The Fightin' Zookers would be the odd-men out, but there's quite a gap in the BCS number from Florida to Illinois, so there isn't much argument there. Doesn't mean there won't be an argument in the future, but hey, you've either got the number or you don't. Somebody will always be the first one left out.

Next, oh, wait a sec, Mikhail (Tommy the Unicorn's, uh, "partner") just made a ####y on the neighbors lawn here in Dreamworld, be back in a minute....

Yucko! Guess Dreamworld isn't so dreamy after all...Anyway, these 16 are paired up using the eight most prestigious bowls, which I guess could be argued after the top four. We're also reserving December 31 and January 1 for these eight bowls, and nobody else can play on these days. The BCS bowls get January 1, the "lesser" four get December 31. Playing from noon (or even 11AM), you can get four games in with minimal overlap in a day. Two ways to do the matchups, both have problems:

1. Use the most fair pairings; 1 v 16, 2 v 15, etc. to 8 v 9. Problem is, many of these matchups will frankly suck, and New Year's traditions, specifically the Rose Bowl, are lost. Which brings us to...
2. Keep traditional bowl pairings/destinations, even if it means the higher seeded teams have much more unfair matchups.

I prefer option 2. to keep bowl traditions alive. Even if it means some day in the future a #1 Big 10 team has to play the #2 Pac-10 team in the Rose Bowl in the first round. Oh well.

I also say the top four bowls be reserved for the top eight conference champions. The rest, try to make matchups based on fairness and geography, as close as is reasonable. (Yikes, I guess a dreaded committee would have to do this, eh?). So here is the first round of the playoffs:

December 31, 2007

1. Peach Bowl: #5 Georgia vs #16 Florida Atlantic
2. Cotton Bowl: #6 Missouri vs #15 Central Michigan
3. Holiday Bowl: #8 Kansas vs #11 Arizona State
4. Gator Bowl: #12 Florida vs #14 Central Florida

I'm sure the Cap One folks would throw a bunch of money to get one of these, but screw 'em.

January 1, 2008

1. Rose Bowl: #1 Ohio State vs #7 Southern Cal
2. Sugar Bowl: #2 LSU vs #13 BYU
3. Orange Bowl: #3 Virginia Tech vs #9 West Virginia
4. Fiesta Bowl: #4 Oklahoma vs #10 Hawaii

Yes, I see the problem with having #1 having a brutal matchup while #'s 5 and 6 likely cruise. To me it's better than 1 v 16, 2 v 15, etc, and here traditions are preserved. Neither way is gonna be perfect, folks. One reward for the top bowl participants is a higher payout, which the fans won't care about (but the presidents sure as hell will). Or maybe in the second round the BCS bowl winners get a home game. Yes, there are tweaks that would be needed.

Whoa! Gimme a sec, forgot about a little daily tradition here in Dreamworld, gotta watch the "Running of the Gnomes".....Much more dangerous than it sounds.....

OK, next, we have a scheduling problem, this is also the weekend of the NFL Divisional Round, assuming the Wild-Card round was January 5-6. This could still work, have one college game Friday night, January 11, then the remaining games on Saturday the 12th, 1:00, 4:30, and 8:00. NFL could have their games on Sunday the 13th at 1:00, 4:30, and 8:00, with the fourth game on Monday night. We'd really need Mr. Goodell's help on this one. And somebody may whine about a short week, but screw 'em.

The NCAA semis are on Saturday, January 19 (sites TBD), while the NFL's Conference Title games are on Sunday, January 20. Easy enough, but we gotta move on, I might wake up at any moment!! Still waiting for Blossom, we're supposed to pound down some 'shine and go frog-giggin'! I know what you're thinking; Dreamworld rocks!! Anyway, back to business....

Smokin'!!

Since the NFL likes taking two weeks off between Conference Title games and the Super Bowl, the NCAA title game can be during that NFL off-weekend, on either Saturday, January 26 or on Sunday the 27th. Therefore the Super Bowl is the following Sunday, February 3. Each championship game gets its own weekend, and everyone wins, everyone's happy, right?

This playoff system is similar to March Madness, in that virtually every team gets an equal chance to win it all (in theory, of course), except for a few independents. Except with no insulting play-in game. Oh, and no special considerations for Notre Dame either, you either earn your way in as one of the five highest ranked at-larges, or you can pout and stay at home. I really don't care. Or here's an idea.......join the Big-10!!!

Think about the NCAA and NFL playoffs happening at the same time... it's January Madness!! Or January Insanity!! And I know a Florida Atlantic would have no chance at winning a game, but that's not the point; giving everyone in D-IA the opportunity to take part is what'll make it so fun. Kinda like....March Madness. Makes too much sense, right?

Well, Blossom just arrived in Dreamworld riding her miniature purple rhinoceros named Chad, so I gots to go, y'all!! Enjoy the playoffs.....My money's on the Sooners....Chad!! Not on Federico's lawn!!! I just got done cleaning up after Mikhail and those damn Gnomes!!!! That's a very bad miniature purple rhinoceros!!! Yeesh.....