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Introduction

Last week I wrote a couple of posts about how Congress was banning the Patriots from the Super Bowl because they cheated and then that the President was going to support the move in his State of the Union.

Some people took it the wrong way, as Patriot basing, which I freely admit I am guilty of. However, my point was criticizing Congress and their meddling in sports. There are more important things for Congress to be worrying about than cheating in sports: a chaotic war, a sluggish economy, a declining dollar, and many more.

I was being tongue-in-cheek last week; then I wake up today and find out that Senator Arlen Specter (R - PA) is calling NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell before him to explain why they destroyed the Patriots’ tapes of the Jets’ signals.

Integrity of the Game

It all started with Congress taking baseball to task over steroids. That was a move applauded by many observers. They were sick of suspected cheaters succeeding and claiming for themselves some of the most sacred titles in the game. When baseball did nothing, the government stepped in and spent millions of taxpayer dollars investigating the state of Major League Baseball.

Most supporters were simply glad that these players weren’t going to get away with cheating. But Congress had a grander vision, they would ensure that cheaters wouldn’t succeed so that children wouldn’t grow up thinking cheating is the key to success.

When discussing the matter with the New York Times Senator Spector said, “The American people are entitled to be sure about the integrity of the game. It’s analogous to the CIA destruction of tapes. Or any time you have records destroyed.”

Congress and the Constitution

I would love for anyone to point out where exactly in the Constitution it outlines Congress’ role in protecting the “integrity of the game?” Is this really what we want our government doing? They are all ready discussing making it a requirement that public highschool athletes be subject to random drug tests, maybe next they will have a government representative on the sidelines, in the meetings, and in NFL board rooms to make sure they are doing things with “integrity.” Sounds almost like what the Soviet Union used to do. Correction, it’s exactly what the Soviet Union used to do.

This is no place for government. When Congress began investigating steroids many people, myself included, said this set a dangerous precedent. Those who wanted to see those mighty and corrupt baseball players brought low said we were making a ridiculous “slippery slope” argument.

It appears, that we were all too right. What’s next? What sport will be left untouched? There will always be accusations of (and actually instances of) cheating in pro sports so where does Congress stop?

The Bed We Made

As much as I blame Congress for this horrible misuse of my tax money, I also blame all of those who cheered their actions in the steroids issue. There is an old saying that I always apply to any new power we grant to our government officials, “give ‘em an inch, and they’ll take a mile.”

Now, they are taking the first step of that mile. Who knows what new regulations they will impose on the NFL but I’m sure some will be coming. Perhaps there will be a new integrity clause or maybe teams will have to report to a new government bureau to ensure they are doing things “the right way.”

Conclusion

I was joking last week, but now, I’m really not surprised. Once we gave to Congress the responsibility of monitoring pro sports it was only a matter of time before they stepped in to the NFL. Now, we just have to hope the damage is limited. That the cost of Congress’ new venture isn’t too great; that the regulations they hope to impose won’t impact the game too much.

This is our bed, though, and now we’ve got to lie in it.

See the original story in HD here.

January 22, 2008 - Washington, DC - In a shocking move Congress has acted to prevent the New England Patriots from competing in the Super Bowl this season; the possibility that they may rescind their previous Super Bowl titles is “on the table” according to several sources on Capitol Hill.

The move comes after recent moves by Congress to eliminate steroids in baseball and sports in general. The Congressional rationale for intervening in baseball is to prevent young athletes from using steroids. They believe that if baseball players are allowed to get away with it then kids will learn that you can cheat and succeed; or worse, that cheating is the key to success.

After the Patriots defeated the Chargers a meeting of the House Committee on Government Reform (the same committee that lead the charge on steroids) was held and it was decided action must be taken. The House of Representatives had passed a resolution condemning the Patriots early Monday morning and the “True Patriots Don’t Cheat Act” was passed by mid-day. The Senate quickly passed mirror legislation and with the President’s approval the New England Patriots have been removed from the February 3rd game and the San Diego Chargers put in their place.

“The Chargers represent what’s right about America,” Representative Duncan Hunter (R-CA) said, “LT, Philip Rivers, and Antonio Gates were all out there injured and playing their hearts out… well LT was a little too hurt but you know what I mean. They went out there and played with their hearts. Those so-called ‘Patriots’ a pack of hoodlums and cheaters. We did this today so that the children of this country don’t get the wrong message; we want kids to know cheating doesn’t pay.”

Massachusetts Senator John Kerry (D) rebutted Hunter’s statement, “The New England Patriots are an iconic franchise and I don’t believe they should be prevented from playing in this game. They got caught cheating. So what? I always say if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.”

Congress agreed with Representative Hunter and sent an official reprimand to Senator Kerry before breaking for their six-week vacation this evening. The Patriots “Spy Gate” scandal was an issue Congress simply couldn’t ignore.

“We would be absolute hypocrites not to do this,” Illinois Senator and Presidential Candidate Barrack Obama (D) said, “How can we as a nation, as a people, and as a Congress attack cheating on the one hand and reward it on the other? In the end, we can’t. It’s time to take a stand and show our children that if you cheat you will get caught and you will get punished.”

When asked for his feelings on the matter Presidential Candidate and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney (R) smiled into the camera and after a few seconds said, “Optimism.”

Fred Thompson’s (R) office said he was “taking a nap” when called for comment.

Thus far there’s been no official reaction for the NFL but Patriots Coach Bill Belichick launched into an uncharacteristic and intelligible tirade when asked for comment. The question now is how will fans react to this move? Congress is betting they will applaud it, “the country is committed to stopping cheaters from succeeding” Senator and Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton (D-NY) said, “and so are we.”