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Introduction

“We have a right to honest football games,” quoth Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA).

Excellent, now we will have the Feds assuring us “honest” football games. The government of the United States is now and from hence forth will be directing resources generated by the labor of Americans everywhere to ensuring will have “honest football games.”

Never mind that we have a War on Terror costing us billions to fight with no clearly defined objective, never mind that we have a sluggish economy which is going to be “stimulated” by a poorly-planned and useless economic “package.” Never mind that we habeas corpus is being violated routinely by our own government (an issue we fought a war over). Never mind that in order to fight “terrorism” Americans are going to be scrutinized, examined, and approved by Federal officials and files on each one of us will be collected, maintained, and proliferated to the various states through the Real ID Act.

Never mind any of that, what’s really important is that Federal authorities guarantee our “right to honest football games.”

A Joke Gone too Far

A couple weeks ago I wrote a few posts on Congress and the President taking action against the New England Patriots. They did so because of the dangerous precedent set by letting Congress investigate steroid usage in baseball and prepare to regulate that sport.

I sincerely hope Arlen Specter does not waste further tax payer money while he’s at work by reading my blog because shortly thereafter he actually began the process of intervening in football. He wanted to know why the NFL had destroyed the video tapes and why the penalties against the New England Patriots were not harsher (like what? Give the Eagles a Super Bowl ring?).

Way back when all these steroid scandals were hitting the papers I was one of the ones who said this was dangerous. When Congress called before them baseball players to question them about their usage of drugs I said they had gone too far. Most everyone disagreed. After all this is what they deserved, those smug millionaires defacing “our” sport. Most salivated with the thought that their government was going to prosecute these cheaters.

They dismissed my (and plenty of others) calls for caution as a ridiculous slippery slope argument. This is as far as they’ll go, they said, no farther.

It was Only a Matter of Time

Well, now they have gone farther. First, they used the excuse that steroids are illegal drugs to begin the investigation, then they said they were lied to so they needed to go farther, then they said they needed to protect kids so they went farther (sound familiar? Weapons of Mass Destruction, Liberating the Iraqi People, Spreading Democracy).

Now, they are going after football. This has nothing to do with the use of illegal substances, this has nothing to do with perjury, this has only to do with our “right to honest football games.”

So now we have arrived at the stage where the Federal Government is preparing to directly intervene in the affairs of a major sports league in order to ensure our “right to honest football games.” The only question now is, how will they do it? What are their plans to make sure football stays honest?

Well, here’s how I think the process is going to go.

Congressional Hearings

This is the logic next step. Congress will call before them Roger Goddell and company to testify about the integrity of the game, the extent to which teams are cheating, and possible collusion between teams and the NFL front office.

They’ll even threaten to end the NFL’s Anti-Trust exemption. Then what? Will they really break up the NFL? Separate it back into the AFL and NFL? Destroy the Super Bowl? Crush America’s largest major sport and a billion dollar generator for the cities lucky enough to land a Super Bowl?

This will drag out for a while, wasting millions of our dollars, and distracting from real issues our government was designed to confront.

Commission to Investigate the Integrity of the National Football League

Shortly after these hearing wind down I’m pretty sure that Congress will “conclude” that it is in the “best interests of the American people” to establish a commission designed to investigate the integrity of the game. They will poke and prod and examine everything that every NFL team does on and off the field.

Maybe they will even have representatives at every team meeting and every practice just to assure ethics are being maintained. All at the cost of millions to the taxpaying public.

Bureau of Fairness in Sports

After that it’s only a matter of time before the Federal net gets cast wider to include other sports. The NBA, NHL, MLB, NASCAR, NFL, all of them will be subject to the judgment of Federal authorities charged with ensuring they maintain integrity. That they do not cheat and play the game the right way.

Additional millions and billions will be spent by the Federal government to ensure that athletes compete fairly. That they don’t cheat, that they obey the rules set out to the letter. Who knows, maybe they’ll even make those rules into laws. Punishable by fine or imprisonment by the Federal Government.

Maybe they will take over punishment from the leagues so that if you violate the rules of the game you will be punished by a public entity rather than a private organization. Maybe they will integrate the major leagues into the greater apparatus of the Federal Government so they can watch it more closely.

Conclusion

We let this happen and by the time somebody steps up to stop it the government’s intervention in major sports will be seen as “necessary.” After all, they are just trying to protect the children.

The fact that someone who say was have a right!!!!!!! to “honest football” is ridiculous. That’s not a right I’m particular concerned with losing. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not a “right” most people care about. Did you stop watching the Patriots after you found out they cheated? Me neither.

Instead of worrying about our “right to honest football” why doesn’t Congress worry about our right to a transparent government? Why don’t they worry about our economy and the various wars in which we’re embroiled? Why don’t they worry actually trying to do the things for which governments are established?

…That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it… (Declaration of Independence)

I don’t believe the Founders were talking about our “right honest football.” I don’t think they would be applauding Congress’ actions now. In fact, I think they may encourage us to enact our final right described above, before it’s too late.

No doubt many who read this will think I’m being ridiculous. I wonder, a year ago if someone told you a Senator would be concerning himself (as a legal matter) with cheating in the NFL you would’ve said it was ridiculous.

Well, now they are and we must begin to seriously discuss what they will do next.