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January 28, 2008 - Washington, DC - In light of Congress's actions against the Patriots, the President has felt compelled to devote a portion of his final State of the Union to the situation. The crisis began after Congress decided to remove the New England Patriots from Super Bowl XLII and allow the Chargers to advance instead.

The action, which was approved by the President, was in light of the Patriots being caught cheating. Congress has recently mounted a crusade to teach children that cheating is wrong, highlighted by their investigation of steroids in baseball, and felt this action was necessary. Removing cheating from sports has been a major goal of the Federal government over the last several years and Congress has begun acting vigorously to meet this goal.

The press has been asking questions of the administration since the controversial act but the President has remained silent on the issue. The President has decided instead to make the issue the cornerstone of his address and use the speech to highlight the need for the government to help parents raise there children with what President Bush calls, “good values.”

Washington insiders believe that new legislation could be introduced shortly which would create a Presidential Commission to Combat Cheating (PCCC). This new commission is envisioned to someday become a cabinet level position akin to the Department of Homeland Security and will be responsible for regulating professional and collegiate sports.

According to sources, Secretary of State Condelezza Rice has expressed interest in heading up the commission; this would trump her desire to become NFL commissioner and the role of pro sports commissioners would be left in doubt.

Many believe this move would be unpopular but suggest that the commission establish a play off system in college football to gain approval. However, the exact desires of the President and plans to combat cheating will be left until after his State of the Union address.