Viewers are dropping hockey faster than water through a sieve, something drastic has to be done to bring in new fans. The NHL is trying, they really, really are. New streamlined jersey's come out next year. Sidney Crosby is almost 1/30th as overexposed as Peyton Manning (*note: That's still alot). Gary Bettman needs a new approach. It is getting drastic, as some sportswriters have predicted the potential folding of the NHL within the next 15 years. So, without further ado: I have a suggestion that I strongly urge the NHL to take into consideration. Add a 7th player to the ice for each team, and equip him with a eight-foot wooden lance. Stick a hockey glove at the end of the lance and off we go!
Now, before you stop reading, hear me out. A player gets a breakaway, he is skating down the ice without fear when...suddenly he is taken out from nowhere by an eight foot lance with a hockey glove stuck at the end ( for cushioning the blow). The playing field has officially been levelled. The days of the dominance of the Red Wings is over! Having a lancer would be great because it would allow hockey to keep the lovable goons who are quickly becoming antiquated in the kinder, gentler, post-lockout NHL. George Laraque could play for another ten years. Tie Domi could make a comeback (watch out Rona Ambrose!). Better yet, the game would become more unpredictable than Mike Tyson hanging out with Dennis Rodman. Announcers would have to get used to the change, but saying "Federov gets lanced from behind!" would probably make up for it. So please, NHL, do something. Do something drastic! We need the NHL because it is truly a joy to watch the hardest working athletes around (Try playing basketball with knives strapped to your feet). So consider my plan NHL owners, coaches and fans. The time for drastic is rapidly approaching. If the lancers catch on we can go to part II of my plan to save the NHL...blindfolded lancers.
This solution is the answer to the prayers of many of our current sports - we'll see which one is the first to snap it up. My money is on arena football; they'll try anything. But I wouldn't slide it by Major League Soccer. Unfortunately, the NHL will stare a great idea in the face and watch it succeed in another sport - adopting it only after shortening the lance to 1 meter, adding a green line beyond which the lancer may not advance until a teammate skates over the line backwards, and the hockey glove is replaced by a rubber-coated size Medium touque.
I interpret "new jerseys" as a marketing ploy to put more $$$ in the league and owners pockets, not more seats in the seats. Ducks~Wings game 5 last night was thrilling ending, dull first 50 min. Overcome those minor obstacles, broadcast more primetime in major markets and have J Roenick drawn and quartered Live during Cup Final Game 1 first intermission
What happend to the game when you gave a "hip" and at the same time drove your stick into the ribs while driving your shoulder up under his arm and drove his head into the boards and the player had to be removed from the feild play and then his team-mate came for payback... or when the inadvertant trip happened or you slid skates first into the goalie you just went crazy and used the butt of your stick on the jaw of your good friend on the opposing team... God I miss the old days...
