Charles Barkley, who was known as the “Round Mound of Rebound” during his basketball career, announced the winners of his 2007 “Barkley” awards that honor coaching ineptitude in the National Football League.  

Barkley, a diehard college football fan stated, “I don’t know why so many coaches at the college level think they can go pro!  Too often, they fail to realize that in the pros, you’re dealing with men, not boys, and success doesn’t always translate.”  

'Sir' Charles created the “Round Mound of Rebound” or “Barkley” awards in 1999 to recognize those successful college coaches who fail miserably in the NFL.  These coaches, in a fit of ego inducement, take their success at the college level and attempt to make it in the NFL. 

More often than not, these coaches fail.  Barkley, sensing their despair over failing at the top, felt it only fitting to use his "Round Mound of Rebound" moniker as the name of the award since failure in the NFL has not impeded their ability to "rebound" in the college ranks, restore their self-esteem, and renew their winning ways.  

A panel, consisting of one FoxSports blogger, chose this year’s winners.  The awardees include the first two-time winner in the history of the Barkley’s, Dennis Erickson.

DENNIS ERICKSON

Coach Erickson is now a two time winner of the award, having previously won in 1999 while with the Oregon State Beavers to their first winning season in 28 years.  A successful college coach with stints at Idaho, Wyoming, Washington State, and Miami, Erickson parlayed his two national championships into a job with the Seattle Seahawks in 1995.  Erickson spent four seasons in the NFL amassing an impressive 31-33 record of mediocrity.  

Like a drug addict, however, the need for a “fix” was too great for Erickson, who skipped town on the Beavers in 2003 to take on a rebuilding project with the San Francisco 49ers.  But, his eyes were bigger than his stomach and Erickson only managed a 9-23 record over two seasons.  Consequently, Erickson returned to his true love, the college game, first at Idaho for a season, and then with the Arizona State Sun Devils, barely missing a spot in a BCS bowl game.

NICK SABAN

Saban parlayed success at three schools (Toledo, Michigan State, LSU) into the top job with the Miami Dolphins.  Becoming more successful at each stop along the way, Saban landed in Miami with great expectations.  With Dolphins, however, he guided the team to two less than stellar seasons and no playoff appearances!  Apparently, he came to the dismal realization that success at the college level does not always translate to a successful NFL career.  This astounding piece of insight on his part resulted in Saban’s sudden, secretly announced return to the college ranks as the ninth heir to the great Bear Bryant at the University of Alabama.  Roll Tide!

BOBBY PETRINO

Petrino after a successful stint leading the Louisville Cardinals into the Big East Conference, jumped at the chance to be an NFL head coach with the Atlanta Falcons.  In his four years at Louisville, Petrino led the Cardinals to two one-loss seasons and one BCS bowl appearance.  With his ego fulfilled, Petrino sought to improve his stance as a hot, up and coming coach, by guiding the Vickless Falcons in 2007.  Sadly, he only lasted 13 games into the season before resigning with a shameless 3-10 record, in order to take the top job at the University of Arkansas!  His excuse for leaving, “At Louisville, I had Brian Brohm.  I was expecting to have Michael Vick as my starting QB with the Falcons, but Vick just couldn't stay out of jail!” 

The University of Arkansas has high expectations for Petrino.  More like wishful thinking on their part!  Razorback fans are seeking to improve upon their 0.620 historic winning percentage, which equates to an average 7-4 season record (a middle-of-the-road team in the SEC).  Aren't they all?  Former coach Houston Nutt only managed to eek out a 0.610 winning percentage, which cost him his job.  Coach Petrino's task is a tough one, and should be well aware that meeting the overzealous expectations of clueless Razorback fans is a daunting task itself.  Hopefully, some day soon, these fans will realize that the Hogs are not the cream of the SEC!

Who will be the next winner of the "Round Mound of Rebound" award?  Submit your nominees and find out!

To tell you the truth, I only watch ESPN's College Gameday to reinforce my belief that the East Coast media bias really exists.  I won't get into discussing all of Gameday's flaws here (that's the subject of a future post), but thought it was pertinent to discuss all the chatter this week about poor 'ole Kirk Herbstreit! 

 You can read a couple of good blog posts at:

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/goblue37/
2007/12/05/Fire_Kirk_Herbstreit

http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/dashman6
8/2007/12/07/Dont_go_away_madjust_go_away 

And a slightly different perspective:

 http://community.foxsports.com/blogs/GoPurpl
e6933/2007/12/08/Time_to_cut_Herbstreit_some_slack

After reading all of them, I couldn't stop thinking that Herbie's gotta go!  Hmmmmm!  That tune sounds familiar!  Oh yeah, Aerosmith!  By putting two and two together, here's my humble attempt at writing a parody worthy enough for Weird Al Yankovic. 

To the tune of Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun", we have "Herbie's Gotta Go!". 

NOTE:  If you don't like (Lee) CORSO, MARK MAY, (Desmond) HOWARD, (Lou) HOLTZ's, (Chris) FOWLER, or even (Jesse) PALMER or (Reece) DAVIS, substitute the appropriate name in bold and make up your own lyrics! 

Herbie's Gotta Go

Dumb, dumb, dumb, Herbie you’ve sunk so low
Dumb, dumb, dumb we know that you’re a schmo.
Dumb, dumb, dumb, Herbie when will you go?
Dumb, dumb, dumb it's the sound

Herbie’s gotta go
Herbie’s gotta go
His mouth is full of blow
A rumor from some 'ole Joe
What did Kirk Herbie do?
Miles won’t be Maize and Blue!
They said when Herbie’s soul recanted
they found him underneath a desk
But man, he has it comin' So now Herbie's gotta go
didn’t OSU just hire this pest?

Herbie’s gotta go
Herbie’s gotta go
His dog day's just begun
Now everyone’s in on the fun
Tell me now it's untrue.
What did ‘ole Kirk Herbstreit do?
He smacked a little bitty rumor
This man is full of buckeye pooh
They say the spell that he was under the lightning and the thunder knew that Herbie sabotaged the Blue

Go away, go away go away from our pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Go away go away from our pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Go away, go away, go, go away

Herbie’s gotta go
Herbie’s gotta go
His dog day's come you know
Now everybody wants him to go
Why help out LSU?
’Cause he’s got a low I.Q.
He tried to take Les down easy to keep from rakin’ in the dough
He said 'cause nobody believes me. This man is such a sleeze.
Herbie’s always gonna be a schmo.

Go away, Go away from our pain yeah, yeah
yeah yeah yeah
Go away go away from our pain yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Go away, go away, go, go away

Herbie’s gotta go
Herbie’s gotta go
Herbie’s gotta go
Everybody is in the know

Herbie's gotta go
His hair’s a poor man’s fro
Now ‘ole Captain Kirk must make it so
Because Herbie's gotta go
Herbie’s gotta go
His replay ends the show
’Cause everybody wants him to go
Herbie’s gotta go 

You may recall one of Dan Akroyd’s characters from Saturday Night Live back in the 1970’s, Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute.

To honor college football’s finest male prostitutes, we have the Male Prostitute Hall-of-Shame. 

To qualify for selection to the Male Prostitute Hall-of-Shame, college coaches must display the following characteristics over their careers:

• Short stops (2-3 years) at a school
• Accept coaching positions that either moves them from Division 1AA or a lesser Division 1A program to successively bigger Division 1A programs, culminating in a job at a BCS school or as a coach of an NFL team.
• Each stop along the way significantly improves their financial compensation package.
• They utter statements such as, “I’m here to stay” or denying rumors in the media by repeatedly denying the rumors adamantly stating "I'm not going to be the XXXX coach.”
• Taking their next job after their current teams makes it to a bowl game, but before the bowl game is actually played.  
• Be involved in controversy (recruiting violations, discipline problems, secret newsletters, NCAA probation, etc).
• Succeeded at the collegiate level but failed in the NFL.

These coaches are the antithesis of coaches such as Bobby Bowden (31 years) and Joe Paterno (42 years) who are known for longevity as their schools.  Though some fans may feel that these two coaches may have overstayed their welcome, these are two gentlemen who put their college football programs on the map and became synonymous with their schools.  

Wouldn’t you rather be known as “Coach Z" who built the program at the "U of X”?  Or would you rather be the coach at a major program where you will probably never live up to the legend of some coach who was there before you?  

So, without further adieu, here is the Class of 2007 in reverse order: 

5.  Urban Meyer – Coach Meyer barely qualifies for the Hall, but since 5 sounded like a good number, he’s included here to complete the set.  Makes one wonder if he could have built the Utes into a MWC powerhouse.  

Football Teams - Bowling Green (2 years), Utah (2 years), Florida (3 years)

4.  Dennis Franchione – Coach Fran is eminently qualified for the Hall.  Just ask any Alabama fan.  Plus, with that newsletter of his, he’s no stranger to controversy.

Football Teams - Southwest Texas State (1AA) (2 years), New Mexico (6 years), TCU (3 years), Alabama (2 years), Texas A&M (5 years) 

3.  Steve Spurrier – The “Old Ball Coach” was a touch choice, as we’ll never really know if it was money or boredom that led to his departure from Florida.

Football Teams -Tampa Bay Bandits (USFL) (3 years), Duke (3 years), Florida (12 years), Washington Redskins (NFL) (2 years), South Carolina (3 years)  

2.  Nick Saban – Though his stays at schools have gotten longer (5 years at MSU and LSU), Coach Saban took the money and ran for the NFL.  Failing at that, he high-tailed it back to the college ranks to restore some of the luster to the anemic Crimson Tide program.  This is one coach who is no stranger to controversy!

Football Teams - Toledo (1 year), Michigan State (5 years), LSU (5 years), Miami Dolphins (NFL) (2 years), Alabama (1 year)

1.  Dennis Erickson – The King of the Male Prostitutes.  Erickson readily admitted (during his tenure at OSU) to prostituting himself in his earlier days.  However, when the opportunity arose, he left OSU and returned to the NFL.  He really had to see if he was a better pro coach then his earlier stop in Seattle demonstrated.  Failing for a second time in the NFL, he took a year off before returning to the University of Idaho, only to leave after one year when Arizona State showered him with $$$$. 

Football Teams - Idaho (1AA) (4 years), Wyoming (1 year), Washington State (2 years), Miami (6 years), Seattle Seahawks (NFL) (3 years), Oregon State (4 years), San Francisco 49ers (NFL) (2 years), Idaho (1 year), Arizona State (1 year)

 NOTE:  Only Division 1AA/1A and professional coaching jobs are listed.