I was going to write about basketball today, but that was before space aliens took over the NFL Draft.
I'm still not entirely sure what happened. Was the Reggie Bush snub so bizarre that teams threw their draft lists out the window and started picking rookies from a top hat? Did it shatter the space-time continuum and result in draft picks from an alternate future or something? Shouldn't we have been prepared for this, say with a Failsafe mechanism where if the Texans destroyed reality by failing to select Reggie Bush, President Henry Fonda would have to push the button and, with great sadness and regret, nuke Minute Maid Park for the good of humanity?
Well, that didn't happen, and now we have to live with the consequences. Particularly if we are the New England Patriots.
Unlike in Summer, when my Mets fandom makes me something of a foreign national here, in fall I can blend in with the scenery, rooting for the Pats and Celtics. Right now, those franchises can field about one good team between them, assuming Paul Pierce can play the defensive backfield.
Put it this way: What combination of Randall #### (45 career tackles), Artrell Hawkins (two interceptions in the last three years), Ellis Hobbs (munchkin), Hank Poteat (something Canadians eat), Chad Scott (ten games played in two years), Antwain Spann (Seussian character), and Eric Warfield (decent free-agent acquisition) do you really want lining up with Asante Samuel against Indianapolis in the dime package? I sense more of Two-Way Troy Brown in the future. In fact, does Troy have any siblings? He might have to bring the whole family.
This could be part of Bill Belichick's master plan, of course. He seems to LOVE tossing passes to linebackers and lining up nose tackles at fullback, and that's a swell joke on the league. At what point, though, does Peyton Manning start laughing at you (not with you) while throwing his tenth and eleventh TD's of the first quarter? I'm guessing right about here.
The Pats drafted consecutive tight ends in the third and fourth rounds, although the roster already included Ben Watson, Daniel Graham, and Mike Ditka. Admittedly, the only corners drafted in that area were Northwestern's David Pittman (one pick after the Pats in the third) and Penn State's Alan Zemaitis (didn't he direct back to the future?) late in the fourth. So it's not as though Night Train Lane was on the board. But did Corey Dillon really need to be backed up RIGHT NOW, with a first round pick? Did a placekicker need to be selected in the fourth round? It seems there were better ways to arrange this...
Look, if anybody in the entire league deserves a benefit of the doubt, it's Belichick. I concede that. I wouldn't bet against him if he were coaching the Bad News Bears against the '27 Yankees... and that's not even his sport. Doesn't matter. He's that good.
Also, as painful as it was to lose Vinatieri and McGinest this offseason, that's the kind of move you've got to make... exactly like his cutting of Lawyer Milloy a couple of years back. McGinest was getting up there in years, and Vinatieri... is a kicker. If I were an NFL GM, my first rule would be "we don't overpay for our kicker." If our kicker happens to win two Super Bowls for us, well, see Rule Number One. He's a kicker.
So I can forego my Heaven-Sent Right to Fangrumble for the most part. I can say I'm on the same page with the Patriots most of the time. But that draft... that was a strange one.
On the other hand, after a weekend that saw Bush headed to New Orleans, Matt Leinart drop to Arizona at #10, and the New York Giants burn a second-round compensatory pick on Wile E. Coyote, well, who's to say which end is up?
