I wanted to write some playoff commentary, but everybody's doing that.  Also, I chickened out of serious analysis.  Randomness works, too, as long as you attach a nice respectable number like "5" to it.

1. How can Steve Nash possibly be the MVP?  Look, I like Nash as much as you do, and a good point guard is hard to find, but my logic goes something like this:

a. Steve Nash is John Stockton Lite.

b. John Stockton never won the MVP, or ever really deserved it unless you count him as a duo with the Mailman.

c. Ergo, John Stockton Lite can't be the MVP unless his competition is significantly worse than John Stockton Classic's was.

d. Three (nearly four) players in the league averaged 30 points per game this season, an exceedingly rare feat.  So the competition was a-plenty.

e. And Nash isn't the MVP.  Simple, non?

2. If a point guard WAS the MVP, why was it Nash and not Billups?  Nash averaged 18.8 ppg, 10.5 assists, and 4.2 boards, with a 3/1 assist-to-turnover ratio.  Billups averaged 18.5, 8.6, and 3 boards, with a 4/1 ratio-- for the best team in the league.  Also remember that Nash compiled his numbers for the run n' gun Suns, while Billups acheived similar things at a more stolid pace.  It's true that Nash set that pace, but there were some conscious style decisions involved there, too.

Nash shot better, and Detroit's balance is already legendary, so he was probably more valuable to his team.  But Detroit only goes six or seven deep, so Chauncey was still carrying a big load.

I think Nash was slightly more valuable than Billups-- but only slightly.  It's certainly not a blowout, and if you're not blowing out Chauncey Billups, how are you better than Kobe, LeBron, and Dwayne Wade?  Don't tell me about how he's played in the playoffs; there's a separate award for that.

Unfortunately, I think the Nash-for-MVP vote reflects more on voters liking Nash's style of play than actually evaluating his merits.

3. If the Clippers make the Western Conference Finals, or even somehow shock Dallas or San Antonio and make it to the Grande Fiesta-- and at this point I would not rule anything out-- who takes over as the NBA's most comical franchise?

This year's worst teams, the Knicks and Blazers, have been too good, too recently.  The Raptors and Bobcats haven't been around long enough.  The Celtics are certainly trying these days, but they'd have to be bad for another 1,000 years to cast off their legacy.  The Warriors have a shot, but they won a championship as recently as the 70's and have boasted Mullins and Hardaways since.  The Wizards finished over .500 this year, and have Arenas.

I think it's got to be the Hawks.  Yeah, they won it once, but that was back in the 50's.  Yeah, they had Dominique, but even at the height of his powers, his team couldn't get past the Celtics.  They lost 56 games this year, and have no marketable veterans on the roster above the rank of Joe Johnson.  Atlanta it is.  At least they'll always have the Braves and their drive for a 157th consecutive NL East championship.

4. If you were going to cast NBA Players in the upcoming X-Men 3: The Last Stand blockbuster, who would you cast?  I'd have to say Kobe is Wolverine, the surly guy who'll cut you apart.  Tim Duncan is Cyclops, dependable if slightly dull.  Phil Jackson is Professor X, and I'd pay to see him shave his head for the part.  Amare Stoudamire is Jean Grey, hoping to come back to life in Phoenix.  Antoine Walker is Halle Berry's Storm, miscast in a role that's too small.  Dwight Howard is the Beast unleashed upon the league.  Kevin Garnett is Gambit, who missed out on appearing on the big screen.  And Ron Artest is Rogue, because the league  sees to it that severe penalties ensue when he touches anyone...

5. The Celtics once tanked an entire season for a shot at Tim Duncan.  They ended up with Chauncey Billups, who doesn't sound like a bad consolation prize now but he so impressed Rick Pitino that I believe he might have spent as much as 45 minutes in a Celtics uniform.  Now, after a really horrendous season, they have a whole 5 percent chance of winning the lottery again.  I really believe they might do it-- if only because pickings this year are so slim that they could easily use up their whole allotment of Leprechaun Luck for the next 20 years on a ping-pong ball and wind up with basically nothing to show for it.

It's tough being a Celtics fan.  Nobody feels sorry for you when you have 16 banners.  I think I'll go make fun of the Hawks for a while...