TEMPE, AZ.- Following Arizona State’s 44-20 victory over the Washington Huskies, Sun Devil athletic director Lisa Love made a somber announcement at the post game press conference. The win pushed Arizona State to 7-0 on the season and 4-0 in the Pac-10. And their ranking, 14th coming into the contest and a possible top 10 ranking next week, gives Sun Devil football a lot of momentum. However, the feel-good moment was short lived. Love solemnly disclosed that the Sun Devil football program would be shut down for a week, and would not re-open until two weeks from tonight, on October 27th against the Bears of Cal. Love cited necessary maintenance to the team bandwagon for the decision.

“With all that’s gone on this season, such as several highly-touted teams losing, both in the conference and nationally, we-well, actually I, it was my decision-decided it was time to prepare the Sun Devil bandwagon for the road ahead. These preparations will include an oil change, new tires, replacing the shocks, spark plugs, and just a full maintenance inspection in general. Any areas of concern will be addressed and rectified.” In addition, the seating area on the bus is to be renovated to accommodate approximately 5,000 more fans according to Sparky, who commented on the condition that he not be identified.

“We just felt that the time is now to ensure that there will be no glitches as we head to the home stretch. It’s unfortunate, and it is with great regret that I am announcing that our game against Bye next week will be canceled. Please note that this is being done with the sole intention of ensuring that those who already use the bus and those who will use it the remainder of the season will be able to do so in the utmost comfort. It’s the fans we care about, and we will always keep their best interests at the forefront of what we do here in Tempe.”

Following the Sun Devils 523 yards of total offense against the Huskies, including 296 yards on the ground, the momentum is certainly in their favor. Add to this the fact that they find themselves the lone unbeaten team in the Pac-10 conference, and Love’s decision seems to be a wise one, though unprecedented.

“Our game against the Cal Bears at Sun Devil Stadium on the 27th of this month will be played as scheduled,” Love continued, “and I guarantee you that the bandwagon will be back better than ever at that time. We are simply trying to be proactive in this matter. If it fails to work out, I will take full responsibility. Well, along with my advisor of course, Rick O.” Oddly, Love had a look of satisfaction while answering subsequent questions and upon making her way out of the press conference.

 Head Coach Dennis Erickson, when reached for comment, joked, “She’s the boss. She hired me, so she obviously knows what she’s doing. Seriously though, I think it’s a great decision on her part. We’ve got some guys who could use the rest on both sides of the ball. And let’s face it, the bandwagon could use a little expansion.”

Thanks for taking the time to read.

{Obligatory but probably unnecessary disclaimer: This post was written as fiction. Well, most of it.}