Live direct from Beaula Florida the Silver Back convention started of with a roaring rallying song of "happy Days are here again".
Hi I am Cracked Crankshaft reporting from the coastal city of Beaula Florida nestled along the Gulf Coast with beach sands that look like snow.
The delegates have been extreemly busy bargaining for votes to elect Photogr and Texas Cuda as the presidential and vice presidential candidates to represent the Silver Back party in the national elections.
Forensic has rallied all the delegates from the New England states into one big political force that could sway the votes to elect Photogr.
Klvalus has the task of uniting all the NASCAR fans under the silver back party to vote for Photogr. It is rumored she has a high position promised to her in the NASCAR head office if she can gather the fans support.
Jokers Wild is heading up the Midwest delegates by cracking one liners and keeping the delegates in stitches.
We hear Hot Foot Lori is hot footing all the delegates from the south east with a big base from Alabama and Georgia.
Iowa girl is leading the delegates from the north west and pulling in race fans from the local tracks in that area.
Frever3fan has been diligently working the California and Western delegates to support Photogr.
Speed Beagle has Texas and Lousiana delegates leaning towards the Photogr and Cuda ticket.
We hear Gerrill is leading the delegates from Michigan, Illinois, and Indiana to support Photogr.
Moseby is working the floor to gather all the delegates votes tallied and Jon464 is throwing the nay sayers under the bus.
Noahspop and Noah are are covering flagging the delegates to their proper seating areas.
We hear that Charrit is flying in more delegates as the convention is progressing on P38 fighter planes and his motorcycles.
TEZ although now in Canada has been doing a great job in rallying the Western border states with Canada to support Photogr.
Well it looks like this Party is well organized and on a mission to get Photogr elected. Reporting from the floor is Maude Tixpiddle. Maude. What is it like down there?
"Cracked it is a feverish pitch down here on the convention floor. In between the song "Happy Days are here again" you can hear chants of "PHOTOGR for President". It looks like the delegates have their minds made up. Back to you Cracked."
"Thanks Maude. I have just been told that Photogr will make his appearance shortly. Before the convention started, I was talking to Photogr and asked him what he does to relax. His reply was besides racing he likes to hang ten. " >
"I had another question about being the dark horse candidate in a new political party. He told me he didn't think he looked like a horse and hoped offering the voters a new perspective and a new party would give them hope for a better America."
"Oh Wait!! Photogr has just went up to the podium to address the convention delegates. The crowd is waving their banners and singing Happy Days are here again. Delegate Hanahan From South Carolina has been chosen to introduce Photogr to the convention."
" Ladies and Gentlemen. I am sure you 'all know what I am about to do. I would like to introduce you to our next President of the USA. ( Ah. Er. What is your name sir?) Yes photogr. Thats it! Photogr !!"
Tonight during the Dave Despain Show a mention was made that NASCAR was acquiring the Grand Am series and incorporating it into the NASCAR fold. Their plans are to give it more exposure. The total details have not yet been disclosed yet but I have a few ideas.
Is this the harbinger of the new COT in the future? One thing for sure is there is as many foriegn car makers in this series as there are USA cars makers.
They race on road courses exclusively but does NASCAR have visions of running these cars on round tracks? Can you imagine these rockets on a track like DEGA?
Is NASCAR going to continue to let the current head of Grand Am run the operation or will The NASCAR heads rule the roost?
This series has many well know drivers with the likes of Fitipaldi, Pruett, Sabates, Donohue, Garcia, Fogarty, Gurney, and others. Does this mean the influx of more international drivers in the CUP series too?
Does NASCAR have the savy to run this series as it has been run or will they put their own twist on the series?
I had always though this series was well run even back in the years of it's infancy. Will NASCAR take a hands off approach and just allow it more exposure to the racing fans?
And of course. Will the Grid gals be allowed to stay?
So many questions about this news and not enough answers yet.
I have some random thoughts that have crossed my mind.
Can a wood duck be considered a member of the wood family or the duck family?
Help wanted. Race car drivers under 21 years of age. Experience prefered but will train. Big dollar sponsors in your pocket also prefered. Must be hot, sexy and marketable to the younger generation. Drivers over 23 neeed not apply.
Racing in the rain for NASCAR. A cool welcome change. Certainly a new venue for NASCAR racing and humorous.
Goodyear plans on a new wider bigger tire for the heavier COT. Why is it they didn't think of this before? And we have Goodyear tires on our family sedans. Is that safe??
The race for the chase. Is race a good word for that? Perhaps Sunday 1 lane cruises around the track for 4 hours, then a 30 lap dash for the win might be a better description.
Have you ever wondered why there are not more road races in NASCAR? Considering the true roots of the old shine runners ran on back roads hauling the shine to market, I don't recall many running a load of shine on a circular road. Perhaps it is the corporate sponsorships that dictated more roundy rounds.
I don't understand why NASCAR still runs the ancient power train package in the cars that is over 40 years old. When was the last time you saw a car on the road today still using V8 pushrod power with a carb. Most use dual overhead cams and quad valves with fuel injection. Do you think INDY and F1 might be onto something there?
Why is it that the NASCAR tracks remind me of the Colosseums in Roman times? Perhaps it was the fact this was the place to be for entertainment. Sadly, the entertinment has been missing in NASCAR recently.
NASCAR track for sale.
Grid Gals. Why none in NASCAR? You got cheer leaders in Foot ball and Basket ball. Formula 1 and Sports car series have grid gals.
Scott Kalitta age 46. A well known Top Fuel Funny Car drag racer was killed today while in the final round of qualifying at English Town, N.J. for the NHRA race. Scott is survived by two sons and his wife. His father the famed Connie Kalitta was at the track when the accident happened.
Scott grew up around the sport and was a natural to follow in his father's foot steps who won championships in drag racing.
Scott won his round of quaifying for 13th place when just before the finish line the car errupted in a fireball of flames doing over 300 MPH. The intense flames burned off the safety chutes and the car continued down the too short slow down lanes at full speed crashing into the wall at the end of the track thus exploding again.
Sadly there was nothing the emergency crews could do for Scott and was pronounced dead at a local hospital. The track immediately closed down all activity in respect for Scott. Many fans gathered around the pit area near Scotts hauler to pay their respects. Many drivers were shocked at his demise and gathered in small groups to offer support for each other and mourn the loss of Scott Kalitta. A driver that was well loved and respected by all the drivers as well as the fans.
It appears the the NASCAR ( bobbing) heads had a top secret meeting for the owners and drivers. Tony Stewart aluded to the content of the meeting last week in a press interview. It was a first for Tony. He was almost politically correct in his statement. Guess he didn't get the prepared statements put out by NASCAR on the COT yet.
Tony. "What I wasn't supposed to say that?"
Despite the meeting, many drivers are complaining about the heat the COT seems to produce. As much as 140 degrees in most cases and the drivers are hot. I can understand that. There is an alternatve. Install air conditioning in the car or drivers suit. I have used it for years in my street car. Oh. I get it. That would slow down the car. Well you can't have your cake and eat it too. Go fast or stay cool. What do they want to do?
Mikey Waltrip is doing better. Led a couple laps last week and nearly finished 17th till he made contact with Truex Jr. ( Not sure on the driver). At this rate he might win a race by 2020. I just hope he remembers to turn left and right this weekend.
Turn left then right. No it is turn right then left. My car # is not the speed limit. So much to remember. So much to do on road courses.
Dale Jr. won a points race finally on fuel mileage. That is good. At least he is doing his part to reduce the dependence on foriegn oil. I think all the drivers should try that during the race in unison. Can you imagine the scenario on that action?
It is time to consider alternate fuel resources for NASCAR. I'm thinking electric powered cars with a bank ( say about 50) of 1 million Mica farad flux capacitors in line with batteries. Then have two or three 180 amp alternators to provide the juice to the motor. You got speed with out the noise. Ok electric motors whinning at a about 10,000 RPM might be a bit ear peircing but it will be cooler in the car.
I hear Petty enterprises has an investor to pump new life into the operation. Now Richard you need to put that money in the cars, not the bank to go faster. How ever I think the investor company has grander ideas like liquidation.
Burton Smith has ideas on his new ultra wide drag strip of running 4 cars at a time instead of the normal 2. That is a neat concept. Can you imagine 4 Top fuel dragsters going down the track at the same time? Katie bar the doors if some one looses it at 300 MPH. While we are at it lets put corners on the track too and they can race like the NASCAR boys.
PHOTOGR FOR PRESIDENT.
AMERICA NEEDS ME AND I NEED YOUR VOTE.
A FREE BANANA BEARING TREE IN EVERY YARD.
NO TAX INCREASES.
NO MORE $1,000.00 TOILETS TO FLUSH OUR TAX MONEY DOWN.
NO MORE AID TO COUNTRIES THAT WANT TO SHOOT AT US.
NO MORE LIMOS. FOR THE SENATE AND CONGRESS PEOPLE. THEY WILL TAKE THE PUBLIC TRANSIT SYSTEM LIKE WE DO DUE TO THE HIGH GAS PRICES OR RIDE A BICYCLE.
I'M A THINKING AGAIN, BUT I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHY.
My favorite subject Mikey Waltrip Racing. Have you noticed David Reutimann has placed well in the last few races in NW and CUP ( 4th place in the NW race at Dover)? Mikey usually finishes further back in any race. Can it be he still thinks his number 55 is the speed limit. Perhaps Mikey should change his number to 185, then he can go faster. A better idea would be to give Reutimann his Cup car so it can finish better. I am not saying that Mikey is over the hill mind you but it does present that question.
Is it just me that thinks Denny Hamlin is suffering from Gordonitis ( Habitual whining and every one is supposed to move over when he want to pass.) I thought his comments and actions on last weeks NW race was a bit pompus.
Kyle Busch is every ones golden boy lately. The guy can drive the wheels off a race car literally and dominate some of the race. Don't know what Joe Gibbs, the other car/ truck owners is thinking now with all of Kyle's wrecked and blown up cars and trucks he has been accumulating over the last few weeks. One thing for sure, if he is not winning he is wrecking and blowing up things. Of course I think he is getting a little help from the other drivers with the incidents.
Humpy Wheeler and Burton Smith. The dynamic duo of SMI NASCAR tracks. Well one still is dynamic. Humpy is unemployed now. Seems there was trouble brewing in the ivory tower of SMI and Humpy lost. Burton bought the Ky. Speedway but NASCAR says there will not be a CUP race there in 2009. Wanna bet?
I saw that Scott Speed won the truck race at Dover. An Open Wheeler won a truck race. That is nice. Guess painting your toe nails blue does make a difference. What was with his victory celebration sitting on top of the truck in a thinking pose? And I thought the snow angel thingy was a bit wierd done by another driver when they won.
Joey Logano. The future hot driver in NASCAR came in 6th at the Dover's NW race. Quite an accomplishment for his first race in NW. However, he was not happy with a 6th place finish. Patience my little grass hopper. Patience.
Bill Elliott is in the Dover CUP race and qualified 24th. Did he really qualify that well or did he get it on a provisional again? Bill was one of my favorite drives back then but does he really do himself any favors getting in on a provisional all the time any more? He certainly does not have the equipment to battle with the front runners like back in the day.
David Ragan. Have you noticed this driver has quitely been getting good finishes lately and is with in striking distance for a win soon? Certainly one of the most under rated drivers in NASCAR. Again I say patience my grass hopper. Patience.
Jeff Gordon. I hear Dupont only signed a two year contract with Jeff and HMS as his primary sponsor. Could it be? Or was it because? I ain't telling and neither is Dupont or HMS. Ok. Here is a hint. Jeff has not been having a stellar year yet.
It is a calenture of epidemic proportions dutifully experienced by NASCAR fans as each season begins on a ritual schedule etched in stone. I will not go into a long boring disquisition but make short disertations on my observations. I will try to philosophize these afflictions.
This malady is certainly much more severe that first thought and is brought on by a stimulus of the senses. Sight, hearing, smell, and impulses of the brain. Some scholars have attributed this stimulus to the same effect as a mind altering drug that becomes habit forming.
Research has confirmed this symptomatic behavior based on the repeated confirmations of withdrawal symptoms after November of each season which reach their essence over the winter season.
Another quagmire of this calenture is the ritualistic worship of selected individuals with in this sport. The afflicted will spend unsurmountable sums of currency to observe and get close to these individuals to the brink of stalking them. Certainly an area that needs primordial reasearch at the conception of the automobile and race car drivers.
It is observed that these so called drivers are held to a pinnacle of high morals and ethics with little tolerance to immoral activity or drug addiction by the heralded power brokers of the sport. Should a organization that provides these cars for competition be caught altering the rules detrimental to the sport, they will be penalized severely in some cases.
It seems that the sound of an un restricted engine exhaust, the smell of fossil fuels and burning rubber extracted from tropical rubber plants, along with the circus atmosphere of an event brings on a change in the human brain functions. Science cannot explain this compulsion.
This malady is so wide spread that expansive stadiums capable of housing hundreds of thousands of fans have been built through out the country and in foriegn lands to host these events and expunge monetary funds from the fans totaling in the hundreds of millions of dollars.
However this is not a new phenomenon. It has been recorded that during the Roman era of rule over two thousand years ago there were similar stadiums built to house thousands of fans to watch sports events of their times. As the Roman Empire diminished, so did the stadiums and events. Relics abound in certain parts of the world atributed to this observation.
Contrary to popular belief that we have an unlimited supply of fossilized fuel on hand, the limit of our true supply has reached a point of diminishing and critically low reserve with no promise of excavating new deposits yet undiscovered. Perhaps it is the time for the racing benefactors to assimilate the need to introduce new power plants and alternative fuels that are yet to be ratified as a viable alternative to our current dependence of fossil fuels and power sources that are in actuality rather antique and inefficient not to mention damaging to the fragile environment.
Would this be the end of racing and our society as we know it?
In summation. Racing cannot be called a sport. It is an obsession, a way of life, and a passion that afflicts millions of fans much as it does this writer.
I will now embark on a tedious journey to further understand this affliction on my self and the millions or fans through out the world
I bid you farewell and good health in your addiction.
I'VE BEEN THINKING AGAIN AND IT IS PRETTY THIS TIME.
NASCAR has made great strides in moving the sanction into the 21st. century. Some have wished for the old days and some have embraced the new NASCAR. Seriously, they do make a concentrated effort to appeal to the masses as a whole but you are not going to please all the people all the time. That is logical I think.
The one area I do wish NASCAR would address is the grid gals. So many of the other sanctions do promote this festivity for the eyes with out being offensive. I would think NASCAR could do the same thing in good taste.
Here are my picks for the Grid Gals of NASCAR.
A real doll. Loves racing and going around in circles.
Thinks Kasey Kahne is a cuddly cutie.
Loves Dale Jr. The kind of driver she would marry.
Dreams of meeting Tony Stewart only if he is in a good mood.
These are my top 4 picks for the NASCAR Grid Gals. Of course there are many more but limited space prevails.
I would like to thank Hooters.com and Fox for the pics and allow them credits.
You always see the photos of gals on the bloggs but never the guys of athletic nature. Sooo I thought of a different approach since we have more ladies comming on board the blogs.
HERES LOOKING AT YOU BABY.
I JUST LOVE DOGS
IT'S PUMP YOU UP TIME
Sorry gals. Just could not find photos in the flesh of the NASCAR drivers yet. Working on it.
We can't forget the guys so here is a shot at a sebring race.
A picture of Shorty with one of the SI Models. Note the dent in his Kevilar hat..
IF THERE IS ONE THING YOU CAN COUNT ON DURING AN ELECTION YEAR, IT IS ALL THE CAMPAIGN PROMISES ARE SOON FORGOTTEN BY THE ELECTED CANDIDATE.
OFFICIAL HIT COUNTER TOTALS = 1,999,999.5
THE NEW NASCAR CARS ARE COMMING
NASCAR track for sale.
