Ahhhh yes, my favorite time of the year. Times have been good lately for the Buckeyes, in terms of their annual grudge match versus The Team Up North (TTUN). I have a lot of names for TTUN, but I will refrain from using most of them since little kids like Hoit, Flying Pig, and Blue 37 might read this post. I wouldn’t want them to get their mouths washed out with soap (or something worse) if their parents catch them repeating the unsavory names I could come up with for the University of _ichigan’s football team.
It seems like a thousand years have passed since the Buckeye nation had to endure the "Cooper" years, when OSU couldn’t buy a win in The Game. No offense to John Cooper or Tennessee (where Mr. Cooper was bornified!), but it takes a Buckeye to understand The Game and what it means to be a Buckeye. Enter "The Senator" aka Coach Jim "I Own You LLLLLoyd" Tressel, and it has been a flippin Mardi Gras ever since!!! Granted, a lot of that had to do with Troy Smith and his ability to slay wolverines at will. However, the tide has turned and OSU has the better players, and lets face it, the better coach right now. Sad little LLLLLoyd. Somebody give that guy a hug!! Hey , look somebody is giving LLLLLoyd a hug…and what looks to be a bit more! Nothing like a little Aussie man-love before the big game, eh Russell? I’m sure they are working on a "back door" trap play as we speak. Smoochie-wooooooochie Russell-poo. Please. Make it stop!!!!
I actually have a lot of respect for the _ichigan football program…er I did have respect, this just in:
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A:On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Amen.
Everybody knows that the only good football players the skunkbears ever have come from Ohio. Why do these kids go to scUM? I have no freaking clue, but I know they were probably brain washed by the _ichigan coaches or OSU just didn’t want them. Desmond and his pose??? Obviously he needed the attention. Chuckie Woodson and his stolen Heisman (everybody knows Peyton should have won that year)??? He’s from Fremont…if you’ve been there, you would want to leave the state too. Both these guys were recruited by Cooper….nuff said. Oh wait something else:
Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love that one!!!
Now the scUM program does have it’s highlights….hold on I’m looking for something…####, ok check this out while you wait:
Q: Why don't University of Michigan fans let their kids play in sandboxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up.
OK, here it is….The University of _ichigan football program has the most wins all time. Impressive. Now here is the asterisk: *Most of these wins happened before Custer messed with the wrong bunch of native Americans (hell yeah I’m P.C.). Another interlude:
Q: What do Michigan and pot have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!
How many wolverines does it take to win an UNDISPUTED national Title?? How the %$#@ do I know, they’ve never done it!!! Ok, that’s not true, but it sounds good to me!! Need a break? Me too:
Q: Why did Michigan change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Michigan cheerleaders from grazing at half time.
BOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! That is awesome!!
As you can see, I really don’t like _ichigan. Not just the football team, but the whole state. The perfect invention would be a saw large enough to cut through the earth between lakes _ichigan and Erie, so the whole thing just drops in the soup. Thus, creating Lake Ohioisbestofall, which is an old Native American saying that states:
LLLLLoyd holds Tressel’s jock.
Other notable facts about the football program that we shall mention in memoriam after the stench filled peninsula formally know as "Michigan" fell into Lake Ohioisbestofall:
Buckeye Football will always be better than the half-#### football program formally occupying the now under-water part of _ichigan known as #### Arbor.
2- They were known for losing games they should have won.
hey Pete thanks for checking in on my blog. Just to clarify, I said on Lisa's blog that despite my love for Michigan, Ohio State will take it. The Dan never wants to be misquoted. Cheers and enjoy the big game.
How quickly you forget the Cooper years (2-10-1) or that Bo had a winning record vs. Woody. Ahh, Woody, you buckeyes must be so proud that the most famous coach in your program's history was fired after punching a Clemson player in the '78 Gator Bowl. What class! Like the fighter with the OSU banner, but don't forget that the entire crew of Apollo 15 were U of M grads. Oh, and Michigan should be scolded for making the conference look bad after the Suckeyes showing in the National Championship game last year!
Great Post Pete. Still laughing. Go down and look at Gaucho93's commen. Is that lame or what. That boy needs learned from Hoit how to smack talk. Oh hell, just smack him.
Love the jet w/the flag. Good to see Pete getting in on it.
Great Win Buckeyes! For all the Michigan fans that have come in over this season talking smack and saying how we were going to get a butt whopping, I hope that you have finally learned it is better to be humble in victory and often in defeat. I would hav ehoped that M. Harts continually flapping of the gums finally stops. He came back to beat that so called "not so great defense". How many yards did he have?
good jokes how bout this one...a michigan guy and ohio state guy are walking though a field. they come up to a sheep with his head caught in a fence..the michigan guy drops his pants and has his way with the sheep, he gets done and looks at the buckeye and says your turn..the buckeye drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence...you're not gonna keep on winnin for long mr scarlet and ####!!!!
I was born and raised in Columbus, Ohio, and I still reside there today. I work for, root for, and defend the Scarlet and Gray. I love all things Buckeye and most things Big Ten. However, I am not above rationality when it comes to sports and would never be a complete "homer" who has no disregard for other opinions and/or viewpoints regardless of the topic....oh who am I kidding, unless you love the Buckeyes you don't count!!!
Go Bucks!!!!!!!! !!
