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Kobe's Retort
Jun 24, 2008 | 11:27AM | report this

So the Big Fella got me, I’m still a ring short

But I’m the one that’s still gettin it done on the court

See I still got time, cuz I’m 29

But for the Big Has-Been it’s the end of the line

He big, he’s slow, he’s dumb and 36

And his last two rings came with the help of a fix

And we also all know what Shaq can’t do

See, Shaq can’t win without a Hall of Fame 2

That’s right, Shaq can’t win without a Hall of Fame 2

 

 

 

Last time I checked, I was the league MVP

While Shaq was watching me on his flat-screen TV

See, I led my team to a #1 seed

While Shaq led his to the worst mark in the league

But he couldn’t be a man and share the blame

So he trashed his own team and put ‘em all to shame

And once again he proved what he can’t do

That’s right, Shaq can’t win without a Hall-of-Fame 2

Shaq can’t win without a Hall-of-Fame 2

 

 

 

And so Shaq bailed and let the bad aura linger,

While pledging to the Suns to put a ring on their finger

But instead he went out meekly in round number one

And just like that, his promise was done

So join me now in raising a glass

And raise right up the fat ####’s ####

Because we all know what Shaq can’t do

Shaq can’t win without a Hall-of-Fame 2

That’s right Shaq can’t win without a Hall-of-Fame 2

14 Comments | Add a comment   categories: Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers, Phoenix Suns, Miami Heat, Dwyane Wade, NBA, NBA Playoffs
 
The Lakers' Invisible Man
May 30, 2008 | 11:53AM | report this

Kobe’s maturation and leadership. Pau’s interior presence. Lamar’s rediscovered confidence. Fisher’s calming influence. The unity and energy of the Lakers’ bench. Mitch Kupchak’s shrewd moves. Heck, Chris Wallace’s stupid moves. I’ve read a lot of stories explaining the reason for the Lakers’ success this season, all of them correct to a degree. They, of course, make the Lakers who they are. But it’s so easy to overlook the biggest reason for the Lakers success because he’s only doing what’s always been expected of him. He’s used to all this – and we’re used to him being used to it. We even forget he’s there. We forget about Phil Jackson.

 

 

 

People love to hate Phil, almost as much as they love to hate Kobe. But just like Kobe, they secretly wish he was working for their franchise. Everyone knows the rap against him – he only wins because he always has great players. He’s handed ready made teams. The growing up happens before he gets there. He just sits there and does nothing during games. It’s incredible that a man who has coached 9 championship teams, owns the most playoff wins in NBA history and the greatest winning percentage of all time would need to prove himself, but there he stands, still unproven to many. Not that he cares. Phil’s motivation is his own. But the questions and doubts linger, unfair as they may be.

 

 

 

Phil’s 1:9 ratio of Coach of the Year awards to championship rings has to be the worst ever – a dubious distinction that he’ll probably always own. For historical perspective, Don Nelson’s ratio is 3:0. (Math nerds: please don’t correct me on the impossibility of zero as a denominator, thank you very much). The point is Phil’s consistent excellence is overshadowed by the exciting coaches whose surprise teams overachieve (Doc Rivers, Sam Mitchell) or shoot their load in the regular season (Mike D’Antoni, Avery Johnson, Del Harris). And perhaps that’s the greatest compliment Phil can receive – we just expect greatness from him. But it doesn’t do historical justice to a man that has deserved more recognition than has been sent his way.

 

 

 

So here Phil is, once again, in the NBA Finals, for the 11th time as a coach. But, as even he has admitted, this one feels different. For all his greatness and for all his rings, this current 3 year stint with the Lakers may be his greatest coaching achievement yet, simply because it’s been unexpected and he’s done all the things people said he couldn’t do. In short, he’s answered the critics.

 

 

 

Only wins with ready-made teams? He took 2004-2005’s 34-48 Lakers (who proceeded to make the team WORSE by trading their second best player, Caron Butler, for Stone-Hands Stone-Brains Kwame right before Jackson’s arrival) and led them to the playoffs right away, and within 3 years turned them into 2007-2008’s Western Conference NBA Finals representative. Check.

 

 

 

Can’t develop young players? I present to you Luke Walton (2003 Draft), Sasha Vujacic (2004), Andrew Bynum (2005), Ronny Turiaf (2005), and Jordan Farmar (2006). Besides Andrew Bynum, a raw teenage project, all these picks were in the 20s or later and two of these picks, Walton and Turiaf, were second rounders. Huge check. (And a pat on the back of the scouting team).

 

 

 

Can’t stretch an overmatched and under-talented team to play beyond people’s expectations? Does taking an Amare Stoudemire, Shawn Marion and 2-time MVP Steve Nash led team to 7 games with Kwame Brown, Smush Parker and Luke Walton as 3 of the 5 starters count? I’d say that’s a check.

 

 

 

It’s hard for him to do more, but I can’t shake the feeling that the detractors will still be there, doubting, hating. Should the Lakers win, the “He only wins championships because he has great players” argument will inevitably arise, despite the sheer idiocy of the statement. It’s the price you pay for being on top. Phil might never win the minds of his critics, but at least he continues to win where it counts.

4 Comments | Add a comment   categories: Los Angeles Lakers, Kobe Bryant, NBA, NBA Playoffs, Pau Gasol
 
Premature Celebration
Feb 04, 2008 | 10:41AM | report this

As poet and philosopher George Santayana once said, “Those who refuse to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.” No fan base should be more cognizant of this than that of the Lakers. After the acquisition of Pau Gasol, the automatic assumption on the part of so many Lakers fans that the title is on its way to Tinseltown is ignorant at best, and arrogant at worst. If anything, Lakers fans should know better than any fanbase that games aren't won on paper. Or need I bring up the names of 4 future hall of famers who played for a certain 03-04 Lakers squad?

If Lakers fans have blocked out the memory of that humiliation, then how about a more recent case? Does the 2008 New England Patriots ring loud enough? Was there a surer thing than that team? For months, the fans of other cities had to endure the incessant squaking of Bostonites, as they assumed that the destiny of the Lombardi trophy was to rest in Brady's Midas-like hands.

As a Lakers fan myself, I'm not saying we shouldn't be excited about this trade. We should be. The buzz in Los Angeles is something unfelt since the Lakers were building up towards their first championship run in 2000, when 45-year-old soccer moms, 18-year-old punk-rockers and 30-year-old trade-brokers were all flying Lakers flags on their car windows. Hell, even if we didn't get Gasol, trading Kwame for a drunken version of C3PO would have been cause for celebration. But I cringe when I read posts trashing the chances of other squads which range from the good (Golden State, Cavs, Houston, Denver) to the very good (Jazz, New Orleans, Mavericks) to the excellent (Spurs, Suns, Celts, Pistons). If you noticed, I named 8 Western Conference teams there. If you throw in Portland (who I still believe is overachieving somewhat) and the Lakers (and it's still unclear which category they'll fall into), something has got to give and NOTHING is a given.

I don't mean to be Debbie Downer here, but let's, as Lakers fans, show some humility and class and let the season play out. This should be one of the greatest finishes to a regular season in NBA history, and we should be grateful the Lakers are right in the mix. We're a city that prides itself on its championship banners, as we should be. But it's the excitement of the challenging matchups along the way that makes the season memorable and the victories sweet. Let's not demean the quality of our rival cities' teams, as it, in the end, only diminishes the quality of our own.

28 Comments | Add a comment   categories: Los Angeles Lakers, Pau Gasol, Kwame Brown, NBA, NBA Playoffs
 
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ABOUT ME


pdloos
Born and raised in Moorpark, CA - a suburb of Los Angeles - I have been a sports fan since 1994, when, as a 10-year-old boy, I discovered my own aptitude for basketball and soccer, and admired the intensity and skill of Alonzo Mourning. I became a Charlotte Hornets fan, but renounced my allegiance to the franchise when it traded my beloved 'Zo in 1995. I switched my allegiances to my hometown Los Angeles Lakers that same year, and still to this day, take perverse pleasure that the Hornets provided us with two integral pieces to the 2000 Championship squad (Kobe Bryant and Glen Rice). Recently cultivated has been my love for the Los Angeles Dodgers. I have a passing interest in the Los Angeles Kings, UCLA Bruins and Green Bay Packers.
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