The Texans looked good early, but ended up getting fooled, schooled and ruled by Jacksonville to the tune of 37-17. This was a division game. Speaking of divisions, the AFC South has to be the most competitive division in the NFL. Houston is at the bottom with a 3-3 record. That would be good enough for first place in the AFC West, and the AFC South is the only division that does not have a team with a record under.500.
Vinny Testaverde, he of the Geritol patch and AARP membership, quarterbacked the Carolina Panthers to a win against the Arizona Cardinals today. I didn’t see the game, but it must have been interesting to see the Panthers’ offensive line keep their blocks without knocking over Testaverde’s walker.
As I type this the Seahawks and Saints are playing on NBC’s Football Night In America’s Sunday Night Football. Before the game, Seahawks fullback Mack Strong raised the figurative 12th man flag (a feature totally jacked from my Texas A&M Aggies, by the way) to cheers of the fans. Strong has had to retire this week after a 15 (I think it’s fifteen) year career. Strong has been a fan favorite in Seattle his whole career. One of the coolest things about Strong is his name. Isn’t “Mack Strong” the perfect name for a football player? Or maybe a private eye?
The Coors Light commercials where they show goofs asking questions at a mock press conference that are answered by edited shots of former NFL coaches have been running all night on NBC. At first they were kind of funny, now they just suck out loud. I wish the MLB playoffs were on.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the Patriots dismantling of the Dallas Cowboys earlier today. New England beat Dallas 48-27. I don’t have anything of value to say, I just don’t like being remiss.
Tony Gonzalez of the Kansas City Chiefs set the record today for most TD catches by a tight end in NFL history. The CBS pre-game show gang, specifically Boomer Esiason and Dan Marino were joking with their cohort Shannon Sharpe about him possibly being sad because he held the record that Gonzalez broke. I get sad every time I watch the CBS pre-game show, because Sharpe is so hard to understand. He should look into English as a second language.
The Atlanta Falcons play the New York Giants on Monday Night Football tomorrow night. I have nothing to say about that game, but I was planning on a trip to New York next year, but I would have to get the wicks on my tiki torches trimmed. I cancelled my trip when I called New York and they told there wasn’t a Tiki Barber anywhere in New York.
Everybody and their brother does pre-dictions. I'm not smart enough for that, so here are a few week 5 post-dictions.
Keith Olberman and I actually agree on something. On NBC’s Football Night in America telecast last night, Olberman, whose pomposity is surpassed only by his arrogance (redundant?), hosts a halftime feature during the NBC game telecast called “The Worst Person in the NFL”. Last night he chose Houston Texans defensive lineman Travis Johnson for that dubious distinction. I could not agree more. For those who don’t know, Johnson received a 15 yard personal foul for taunting Miami quarterback Trent Green while Green lay unconscious with a concussion, which he sustained while attempting to block Johnson on a reverse play ran by Ted Ginn, Jr. in the first quarter of yesterday’s game between Houston and Miami. Johnson claimed that Green tried an illegal chop block. Johnson is no threat to the Menses of the world. Right, a quarterback is going to chop block a D lineman by leading with his head? Way to go, Johnson. As a Texans fan, I say release him now.
ESPN’s Chris Berman must be a single man. Either that, or there’s no one in his life who cares how he dresses. The man needs to buy sports coats that fit. He wears short sleeve shirts under the sports coat, and the sleeves are too short, leaving the unfortunate viewers with an unabashed view of several inches of hairy wrist waggling back and forth with every exaggerated arm gesture. Not a pretty sight.
The Patriots seem to be unstoppable. Averaging 36.4 points a game, and headed to Dallas next week. The Cowboys may not be unbeaten when they play either. As I type this the Cowboys are trailing the Bills 24-16 at the start of the 4th quarter. Speaking of Monday Night Football, could there be a more boring trio of broadcasters then Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski, and Tony Kornheiser? Is it just me, or does Jaworski scream everything he says? Tirico is the most glamorous of the three, and he’s about as exciting as macramé. I wonder if Tony’s ever actually heised any korn?
Back to the Texans for a moment. Yesterday’s win against Miami improves Houston’s record to 3-2, still early, but that’s the best start after 5 games in the Texans short history. Who would have guessed that after 5 games the Texans and Cardinals would both be 3-2 and the Chargers and Bears would both be 2-3?
