NBC Decided to go “green” on Sunday. All of their networks turned their logos green in an effort to draw attention to the environment, and the studio lights on the set of Football Night In America went dark and an eerie glow permeated the screen. Chris Collinsworth said something to the effect of “this lighting was meant for us” to Bob Costas. He may have been implying that the lighting, or absence thereof, was friendly to their less than attractive appearances, but rumor has it that after the show was over, he invited Costas out for a cocktail, ‘and maybe even something to drink‘.
Regarding Football Night In America, this show has me convinced of three things- One: Collinsworth, Jerome Bettis, and Tiki Barber were gifted athletes, but they make terrible football analysts. Two: Keith Olberman remains an obnoxious, pompous oaf. Three: Faith Hill could make me write bad checks.
Game of the week: New England and Indianapolis finally played THE game of the season. I personally was disappointed. This game was hyped for two weeks and both of these offensive juggernauts totaled a measly 44 points between them. I know, defense, defense, blah, blah, blah. I’m convinced Tom Brady has sold his soul to the devil. After Sunday’s game he has a quarterback rating of 131.8 for the season, with only 4 interceptions and is on pace to throw 66 touchdown passes, obviously the result of a deal with Beelzebub himself.
Game of the weak:The Texans beat Oakland 24-17. I’m a Texans fan (we are few but proud) and this game was not shown in the San Antonio viewing area. Apparently the local CBS affiliate thought the other game of the week in Indianapolis was more important. Texans RB Ron Dayne ran for 122 yards on 21 carries. Texan fans at the Battle Red Blog have given Dayne the nickname “London Bridge” for the way he falls down so easily. How bad is the Raiders run defense then? The Texans have a bye next week. The early line from Vegas is that “bye” is favored by 3.
The Browns gone from a 3-13 record last year to a 5-3 record after only 8 games. Cleveland fans don’t know how to act. First the Cavs make the NBA finals, then the Indians make it all the way to the ACLS, which can only mean the AFC title game has a reservation marked “Cleveland” at the table, right?
Detroit beat Denver 44-7. The 37 point gap was the most lopsided score of any game last weekend. What kind of job is Matt Millen doing now? The more appropriate question may be what kind of leader is Jon Kitna? The type every team should have.
The Cowboys beat the Eagles 38-17. I’ve just about decided that Wade Phillips is the benefactor of Bill Parcell’s tenure in Dallas. I mean Phillips’ past record as a head coach is just barely above .500 (I believe), and here Dallas is at 7-1 after Sunday night’s game? Is Wade that good a coach, or was the talent there when he got there and he just plugged in his system? Remember, the Cowboys’ Offensive Coordinator, Jason Garrett, was hired by Jerry Jones, not Phillips.
After starting out the season 0-4, the Saints have reeled off four strait Ws and are now at .500, just one game behind the first place Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who at 5-4 lead the NFC South arguably the worst division in the NFL.
The Steelers beat the Ravens 38-7. The Steelers have what I think are the best throwback uniforms of any team in the NFL, for what it’s worth (not much).
This season all the quarterbacks have a lime green inventory dot on the back of their helmets. Can someone tell me why? This would have come in handy in the early 90s when Thurman Thomas of the Bills misplace his helmet in the Super Bowl against Dallas.
So here we are, eight games into the NFL season. Halfway through the 17 week regular slate of games, and I, as a Texans fan, am about to pull out what little is left of my mane.
The season held such promise. A new quarterback, Matt Schaub, a backup obtained from Atlanta for two first round picks next year. Anyone remember the last Falcon backup traded to start for another team? Brett Favre? That’s right, the Packers all-millennia signal caller with the hair trigger rifle of an arm and winning smile. So how has the Houston version of the former Falcon quarterback done? Not quite as well as Favre. (My spell check hates the names Favre and Schaub)
Week one found the Texans opening up against Kansas City. Schaub, although not spectacular, did an admirable job and Houston won 20-3.
Week two saw the Houston team fall behind the Carolina Panthers 14-0 before the Texans mounted a comeback on the road and beat the Panthers 34-21. Schaub was elected President of Houston, without shaking a single hand or kissing any babies.
The Indianapolis Colts came into Houston for game 3 and beat a scrappy Houston team 30-24. Hanging with the Super Bowl champs for 3-½ quarters and only losing by 6 was seen as an improvement over the hapless Texans of last season.
Week four the Texans went into Atlanta for Schaub’s return to Atlanta. Houston was actually favored. Good teams are favored to win on the road, not Houston. Schaub’s return to Atlanta was spoiled by too many turnovers that lead to Falcon points. Schaub is immediately impeached as the President of Oil City.
The Texans won again, although slightly, in week 5 as kicker Kris Brown puts a last second field goal through to beat Miami 22-19. Kris Brown is nominated for President of Houston.
Fast forward, please, through week 6 as the Texans, who by now are producing more turnovers than Pillsbury, get throttled by Jacksonville 37-17.
Week 7 saw the Titans come to Houston, and marked the annual return of Vince Young to Reliant Stadium. Young was injured and did not play as Tennessee was quarterbacked by Vinny Testaverde’s baby brother, Kerry Collins. Collins performed masterfully from his prescription motorized scooter as he directed the Titans to a big lead over Houston. Schaub left the game with an injury, so, in comes Texans backup Sage Rosenfels, who proves to be wiser than his namesake, and leads the Texans to a come-from-behind lead with less than a minute to play. Collins, who had fallen asleep while watching a Matlock rerun on the sideline, comes in to engineer a last minute game winning drive punctuated by Rich Baronas’ eighth field goal, an NFL all time record. Baronas is appointed King of Tennessee.
Which brings this recap to last week’s game. Houston was on the road again, this time playing the Chargers in San Diego. My ex-wife was a fan of the Chargers, until she found out the reason they’re called the Chargers has nothing to do with a credit card. I know, I’ve used that joke before, and I’ll use it again too. Deal with it. The San Diego game was highlighted by a helmet to helmet cheap shot by the Chargers’ CB Drayton Florence. The hit put Schaub out of the game with a concussion. It’s rumored that Schaub was overheard on the sideline commenting that he didn’t even know Florence Henderson still played for San Diego. Chargers won 35-10. Matt Schaub will paint any car for $99.
So the Texans sit at the bottom of the AFC South midway through the season at 3-5. What’s a fan to do? I’ll keep watching whether they are winning or losing. I think that’s why I identify so easily with Cleveland fans. There’s always next year.
