Now that I have vented about the quality of the blogs on this site, I can actually address an actual, sports related issue. 

When I lived in the States, my friends and I always complained about this time of year.  We bemoaned the lack of sports related programing, whishing that soemthing would come along to aliviate our boredom.  Now that I live outside the U.S.  I have an appreciation for what a blessing this time of year is.

Allow me to put this in context for you.  Where I live, the dominant spectator sport is Soccer.  While I have trouble getting excited to watch guys kick a ball back and forth, when I moved back here, I decided I aught to give the sport a chance.  Luckily for me, the local team (Tiburones Rojos de Veracruz) was actually decent for once, and had one player I had actually heard of (Cuautemoc Blanco, who signed a contract to play for the MLS team in Chicago called...####.  who knows, I don't care about soccer!).  Anyhow, I started watching games, and while they were a bit tedious, I enjoyed the experience.  What can I say.  there was a ton of beer involved, which always helps tedious experience become interesting.

So my team made the playoffs, and I figured what the heck, lets go!  I bought tickets for my best friend and my girl and made plans to go to the game.  They ended up losing 3-1 when they had to whin 3-0 to advance (this is because of the utterly stupid way that soccer playoffs are structured...more on that in a future why I hate soccer post). 

I walked out of the stadium feeling a little sad.  The season was over. 

"Well," I said to my friend "There is alway's next year."

He looked at me with a funny look on his face and said,  "Don't worry, another Liguilla (season) starts in a month!"

I was stunned.

The longer I live here, the more I appreciate the offseason of any of my favorite sports.  The anticipation of watching your team prepare for a draft I(Durant or Oden?).  Speculating about what kind of moves are going to be made (Garnett anyone?).  Waiting for the first day of the season, Hoping that this will be the year that your team goes all the way....

These are moments to savor, like smelling the Thanksgiving Turkey in the oven, or watching a lover undress. 

So enjoy the offseason.  Who knows, maybe even leave the house.  Enjoy the summer. 

Still, know that I have already circled the first day of football on my calender.

Finally, thank you to those of you who take the time to read my blog.  The truth of the matter is that while I do this for myself, its knowing that someone else reads this that makes writing it worthwile.  All six of you.

First of all, I want to apologize to the person who read my mock draft.  I am so sorry.  I was tired and cranky, and didn't know what to write about.  That post was so terrible, even my best friends told me I should erase it. 

Second, I want to address the comments made by a high school kid about the overall quality of the blogs on this site.  Whether or not his assesment of the situation here is correct or not is totally beside the point.  He accomplished his goal.  He got 79 people (at my last count) to comment on his post.  As a result, his post is on the front page!   As a result, more people will read his blog, and therefore increase his chances of being able to put this thing on his resume one day. 

He uses Jason Whitlock as an example of a writer who he does not admire.  I can understand where he is coming from.  Whitlock isn' exactly my favorite either.  What is laughable is is assertion that "he never wrote a story like me and he never will".  The truth is that EVERY story that Kendrick writes reminds me of Jason Whitlock!

I haven't been on this site very long, but I feel that there are a wide spectrum of interesting writing styles represented here.  Of course I have my favorites (shout out to the Rev and Lisa, two of the best!) but that doesn't mean that others aren't up to snuff.

Also, It is important to remember that this is a forum for self expression, not a place to write a story in the format that is required to write a newspaper column.  People here write in ways they would never attempt if they had to read them aloud in front of the class (by the way Kendrick, thats a good editing exercise.  Read your post out loud to yourself, and if something doesn't make sense, change it) and that is fantastic.  John Q Public is a great example of this.  Actually, Kendrick this is something I would recommend to you.  Right now, the most successful writers are those who think outside the box.  This is a great place to do just that. 

Also, it is important to remember that during this time of year, topics are scarce, especially for those of us who don't really care for baseball.  Plus, its summertime, and that means people spend more time out of the house, and considering that Americans are fatasses, that is a good thing. 

Now.  Can we get back to talking about sports again? Please?

Aaah summertime, the season when every boy's mind turns to love...of mock drafts.  I have read so many mocks.  from Chad Ford, to Bill Simmons, to every bball blogger, and yet, for some reason I feel I have a better idea about how this whole thing is going to play out (keep in mind that I watched only 3 quarters of college basketball this year).  Still, I know NBA GM's so I think I've got a handle on what's going to happen.

Everyone knows how the first two picks are going to go, so there is no point in even talking ab out them.

3) Incompetent Fools:

The current rumor has them trading these two picks for Amare.  That´s not going to happen.  The ownership problems between Atlanta Spirit LCC and Steve Belkin make any major move impossible.  Billy Knight is just going to pick and hope they pan out.  The Hawks really need a post presence and a point guard.  However, I think they are going to roll the dice with the 19 year old (yeah right) phenom (snort) Yi.  There is goig to be pressure from the ownership to make this pick because there is a large Asian Community in Atlanta, and he fills their need for a tall long skinny player who runs the court well and can't really shoot.  They already have a couple of these you say?  But this is different, cause Yi is Asian!

4) Los Vegas Grizzlies (They'll have to change the name):

Al Hortford just fell in their laps.  They have to take him right?  I just heard that they are in love with Brewer, but if Horford is here they have to take him.  Of course, this is Chris aka "I ruined the Celtics and then got promoted" Wallace we are talking about.  However, I think that Jerry West still has this show on lockdown, so he kicks Wallace's #### and they take Al.

5) Simmon's Babies:

Danny is PO'd because Yi is gone, but at least it will keep Bill Simmons turning on his team.  They can't take Conley...they already have their PG of the future Sebastian Telfair (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA).  They are going to take my candidate for most lieky to bust Brandon Wright.  Paul Pierce is going to whine, and they are going to end up blowing this team up before the trade deadline this year.

6) The Bad News Bucks:

Wow.  This is the team that is threatening diplomatic enforcement if they draft Yi.  This because they think that a front court of Bogut at the 5, Yi at the 4, and Villanueva at the 3 is the best way to go in a league that saw playoff teams winning with small ball.  The smart pick would be to take Conley because both their PG's are free agents.  I think they are going to try to re-sign their current PG combo and stick to their great play 3 bigs at the same time philosophy.  They take Noah.

7) McHales Navy

I've seen them taking everyone from Yi to Noah to Hawes, but if Conley falls this far, they have to take him...right?  I think Kevin gets this one right and takes Conley.

8) The Jordan's

Corey Brewer is stll here, and everyone seems to think that he is a Scottie Pippen clone, and that as a result, Jordan would love to have him.  What everyone is forgetting is that Jordan HATES Scottie!  When he made is comeback in Washington he tried to get Barkley and Ewing to come back but not Scottie.  Remember...this was when Charles onley weighed 365 lbs.  The truth is that no one has any idea what is going on here, and Bernie will find a way to mess this up. Or they take Jeff Green.  Its a no brainer

9) The Great Young Chokers

We all saw them lose to the Pistons (ok maybe not all of us, but since that was the only series I got to watch in that round of the playoffs I watched the whole thing.  The Baby's could not get it done at the end of the games.  If this happens again, Ben Wallace's 'Fro is going to be replaced by a Krusty the Klown 'Do.  Who was the best player in college basketball last year at the end of games? Acie Law.  Of course, they won't take him because they don't want to undermine Heinrich and feel like they need a big man.  Sooo Dumb!   I think they'll reach here for Splitter, knowing that he won't play with them this year.  It makes sense, in a Bulls sort of way.

10) The Las Vegas Kings

yes, I know that I already said that about the Griz, but I think the Kings might be able to beat them to the punch.  Anyhow, they need a big man.  All the semi-ok gig guys are gone.  They aught to just take the best player on the board. Instead they will take Julian Wright, who will average 12 points a game because he will score 40 one night and then average 3 points a game the rest of the week.

11) Incompetent Fools.

Poor Acie Law.  He did´n't work out for the Hornets because he got a promise that he would be picked here, and unfortunately for him, they will keep that promise.  On the other hand, it will be fun to watch him try to be clutch at the end of games when they are down by 30.

12) A.I.'s team (not that A.I., the other one)

I actually think they are going to take the guy everyone has them taking, and who is the best fit.  Al Thornton.  I think he is going to be a great player.  I think he is a top ten talent.  I think that they could make a playoff run with him in the lineup.   

13) Vagabonds

Corey Brewer.  That will be all. 

14) Sterling's Stupidstars

Who cares?  by this time I will probably more interested in an online poker tournament than the draft!

To be honest, I am not nearly as big a baseball fan as I was when I was a kid.  When I was younger, I liked it because I played, and as a result I knew how hard it was to throw a runner out from your knees from deep in the hole. 

Also I loved the history.  I read autobiographies like they were going out of style.  Willie Mays, Duke Snider, Nolan Ryan, Bill Veeck (Veeck as in Wreck is still one of my favorites) as well as a plethora of others.  I collected baseball cards and played baseball board games where I learned about lefty- righty combinations, how to put together a lineup, and how to make defensive adjustments late in games.

I am  an Atlanta Braves fan.  Whenever somebody asked me why I liked them, I used to tell them that it was because Dale Murphy was my favorite player growing up (lie). That I was conceived in Atlanta (true).  The truth is that I got swept up in their playoff run in '91. 

You have to remember that the Braves where one of the worst franchises in baseball all through the 80's  They were in last place in the NL West of like 5 straight years.  Nobody remebers now, but in 90 Tom Glavine lost 20 games.  Nobody gave them a chance.  But when they clinched the NL West crown on the last day of the season, I celebrated like I had been with them through all the suffering.

But I learned that being a fan means suffering, and I have had my chances to suffer.  After an amazing playoff run, they lost to the Twins in 7 games.  When Bobby Cox took Smoltz out of that game I knew we were toast.  I learned that Bobby Cox is one of the worst playoff managers of all time. 

And although the Braves ended up winning a world championship in 95, everone who knows anything about baseball knows that it should have been more. 

So the question is.  In sports is it worse to be a perenial loser than a perenial playoff loser?  I don't know.  At least with with a prennial loser, you don't have any expectations to have dashed.  As  Braves fan, I spent the entire decade of the 90's wondering how we would screw it up this time.  I would be curious to hear from any Bills fans on the subject, or Browns fans, or even the Jazz.  Is it better to suck, or only suck when it matters?

OMG.

Irony of all ironies, I finally found the perfect place to watch the NBA Finals. 

One of the things I hate the most about the US is shopping malls.  They are some of the most hideous constructs of western culture ver conceived, especially for men.  So when they decided to build one here in my hometown the only thing that made the whole structure ok, was that we would finally have a Carl's Jr's.  That and the modern movie theatres, which were so poorly built that the theatres got flooded out the first week because of holes in the ceiling (vintage mexican construction). 

There on Wedneday so that my wife could pick out a present for her sister's cousin's friends goddaughters birthday, I decided to walk through the ultramodern bingo parlor they installed (complete with digital slot-machine bingo.  Yuck) and when I was about to walk out I saw a little door. 

I walked through it and naked well endowed female angels began blowing on trumpets.  the clouds parted and the sun sshown directly upon me.  Low and behold.  It was a sports book, complete with betting sheets and prop bets.  And Zeph Saw the handiwork of the Lord (of sports gambling) and it was good.

There were large, comfortable chairs set up in front of 50 inch LCD screens and I was in love.

I went back yesterday, and not only did I get a great seat, but they actually had the ABC version of the broadcast instead of the terrible mexican announcers who normally cover the finals (more on this later). 

I almost started crying until I remembered that there is no crying in the sports book (unless you miss the over under because of a last second half court shot).

So I got to watch my Spurs beat the Cavs, the way God meant us to:  while drinking beer and smoking cigars.

And now Goddammit, I am free to love Mexico again.

But never fear loyal readers (all seven of you) I still have lots of pent up rage to release. 

Until Next Time!

onepissedoffgringo (who aint so PO'd after all)

Ok.  I'm back. 

So I discover to my dismay that my digital satellite provider doesn't have the channel that is carrying the NBA finals.  PO'd I decide that I will watch the game at a bar that is about 10 minutes from my house.  The TV´s they have are kind of small, but I figure that it will be fine.  I stop by on my way home from work, only to be informed that they also have Sky. 

"Oh, by the way" the pimply-faced bartender tells me "its going to be tough to find a place to watch the game, because Pachuca is playing Inter tonight."  My worste nightmare.  a mexican soccer team won the right to get creamed by a team from south america.  That means that every bar in the country will be full of doofases (doofii?) with jerseys on, cheering for a team they didn't decide to like until yesterday. 

Frantically, I call my wife and ask her to call a couple of places and try to find one with multiple TV's and cable so that I can watch the game.  She spends two hours making phone calls, and then chekcing out places.  I´m sitting in my house considering which bottle I will break over my head if I don't get to see my spurs play for the title.  I get flashbacks to last year when game 7 of the Spurs-Mavericks series WAS NOT TELEVISED AT ALL!!!!!!!!

You all remember that game...its the one that came down to Manu fouling Dirk...only one of the greatest playoff games of the past ten years.  I begin hyper-ventilating, and just as I decide that I'd be better off smashing myself with the cuervo bottle instead of the Coralejo, (more sharp corners, lower quality liquir) my girl calls me and tells me she found the perfect place.  Projection TV, quiet, draft beer (which is a rarety around here) and the manager has promised that we can watch the game. 

I put the bottle back in the cabinet and get in my car and make the 20 minute drive to where she is. 

We are the only people in the place.  Its beautiful.  I get there late, but the Spurs are up 5.  I am happy.  Midway through my second beer and halfway through the second quarter some guys show up.  They sit down.  Then one of them starts messing with the TV.  I girl starts getting nervous.  I start putting on my coat.  The manager comes over after five minutes and informs us that these are friends of the owner and that they are demanding that he switch the TV over to the soccer game.  I put on my coat, and we go to a crappy restaurant where I can´t even drink and watch the rest of the game on a 17" screen with bad color.

At least the Spurs won.

####.

So I guess I don't really need to write an introduction about myself, its all in my profile.  But I do feel the need to explain why I am starting this blog in the first place. 

I live in Mexico.  I know that everyone in the US assumes that Mexico is totally third world, and barely have running water much less electricity, and certainly nothing as sofisticated as satellite TV or Cable.  This is simply not true.  There are places like that in this country, but the vast majority of people here have cell phones more expensive than my first car and watch videos on them , usually while driving.

There are many advantages to living here.  Fresh produce is cheap and excelent, people are friendly and the weather is fantastic ( and don't get me started on the women...) but there is one huge downside. 

Sports.

I have been a sports fanatic since I was old enough to stand.  And while we have a pro basketball team here (League Champs 2 out of the last three years) Its not the same as watching the nuggets on TV 40 times a year (I lived in Denver). 

The Cable/Satellite TV situation here for basketball is atrocious.  The basketball package is split between three channels.  NBA TV which carries some regular season and part of the first two rounds of the playoffs (only on cable, no satellite coverage), ESPN which has the same deal except that it has excusive rights to the Western Conference Finals (is on both cable and Satellite), and TVC, which shows some regular season, some playoffs, the Eastern Conference Finals and the Finals.  This channel is NOT available on Satellite TV!!!!

There isn't cable coverage where I live, and so I am stuck watching only a third of the playoffs of my favorite sport.  Before the playoffs began, I called my satellite provider and offered them a wheelbarrel full of money to give me that one channel, and they told me they couldn't.  I hate them right now.

And that is how I was forced to leave the sanctuary of my home in order to watch Game 1 of the NBA finals.  Trust me readers...its a good story, but you will have to wait for it anxiously until my next post...All three of you.