The Good: Phoenix has back-to-back MVP Steve Nash running the show. Shawn Marion is the most underrated player in the NBA. Amare is back. Boris Diaw is for real.
The Bad: Amare Stoudamire’s health. If the big man can play healthy and be as effective as he was pre-injury, the Suns are going to win it all. That’s a big if.
The Ugly: Kurt Thomas is their center.
2. Los Angeles Clippers
The Good: Re-signed Sam Cassell. Elton Brand is a monster. Expect big things from Shaun Livingston.
The Bad: Coach of the Year candidate Mike Dunleavy did a fantastic job turning the once woeful franchise into a contender, but he still remains distraught that his contract has not been extended.
The Ugly: Chris Kaman’s hair or whatever that is sitting a top his head.
3. Los Angeles Lakers
The Good: With Kobe and Phil on the same page, the Lakers have the ability to get out of the first round .
The Bad: Is Bryant fully recovered from off-season knee surgery? Even the Zen-Master can’t win if #24 is not on the floor.
The Ugly: Aside from Lamar Odom, the supporting cast around Bryant leaves a lot to be desired.
4. Sacramento Kings
The Good: Expect defense to improve under new coach Eric Musselman
The Bad: Mike Bibby is wearing down, Brad Miller has little inside presence and a bench of Salmons, Thomas and Garcia isn’t very good.
The Ugly: How long before Artest snaps if the Kings start out poorly?
5. Golden State Warriors
The Good: Don Nelson is back and has given the Warriors their first true leader since, well, Don Nelson. With “Nellieball” back in the Bay Area, at least the Warriors won’t be boring. Oh yeah, Adonal Foyle will not see the court this year.
The Bad: Troy Murphy is undersized a center, Mike Dunleavy is undersized at power forward, and the Warriors are going to have to score about 150 points a night to have a shot to win. Expect record numbers for futility on the defensive side of the ball.
The Ugly: The Warriors haven’t made the playoffs in 12 years. Chris Cohan is the world’s worst owner.
Southwest Division
1. Dallas Mavericks
The Good: The defending Western Conference Champions have a great owner, great coach, great starting lineup and great bench.
The Bad: I guess the fact that Erick Dampier is still around is bad, very bad.
The Ugly: Other than Mark Cuban’s tirades on the floor, not much.
2. San Antonio Spurs
The Good: They are the class of the NBA. Tim Duncan is a quiet superstar who can put a team on his shoulders. Tony Parker is still only 23 years old- that’s scary.
The Bad: The Spurs will need Manu Ginobili to be healthy and effective in order to compete with Phoenix or Dallas. Popovich would like to see Parker dish out more assists.
The Ugly: How much longer can Barry, Finley and Horry be productive off the bench?
3. New Orleans/ Oklahoma City Hornets
The Good: The only point guard better than 21-year-old Chris Paul is Steve Nash. Add Peja Stojakovic, and that’s one heck of a backcourt. David West and Tyson Chandler provide a solid frontcourt for coach Byron Scott.
The Bad: The bench is too young and raw to be a huge factor…for now. Bobby Jackson is the only dependable veteran Scott can count on.
The Ugly: Desmond Mason’s jumper. It’s hard to rely on a SF that has little to no outside game.
4. Houston Rockets
The Good: T-Mac and Yao are healthy and provide a great one-two punch. Can they stay healthy???
The Bad: They're in a very tough division and if they get into the playoffs, it will most likely be a 7 or 8 seed. They lack depth and a true point guard (see: below.)
The Ugly: Anytime Rafer Alston is your point guard, you have to believe ugliness will follow.
5. Memphis Grizzlies
The Good: Well, if it was 1998, the Grizzlies would have a dynamic backcourt with Eddie Jones and Damon Stoudamire. But it’s not, and I can’t find any good here with Pau Gasol out with a broken foot.
The Bad: Gasol is hurt. Mike Miller is ####ed up. So is Rudy ####. Stromile Swift is out. Poor Mike Fratello.
The Ugly: Jake Tsakalidis is the starting center. EEEWWWWWWW.
Northwest Division
1. Denver Nuggets
The Good: Carmelo Anthony has a new passion for the game and is ready to be the leader George Karl needs. Andre Miller and Earl Boykins are a good point guard tandem.
The Bad: Kenyon Martin is still in Denver, and he still doesn’t get along with Karl.
The Ugly: If Denver gets off to a bad start and Martin isn’t happy, look for Sprewell-Carlesimo part deux.
2. Minnesota Timberwolves
The Good: Kevin Garnett is still here and will like what new point guard Mike James brings to the table. Many are predicting Randy Foye to be the ROY.
The Bad: Coming off two lackluster seasons, the Wolves need to improve offensively (Mike James will help) and KG needs to improve his low post game and stop relying on the outside shot.
The Ugly: Vin Baker is on this team!!!
3. Utah Jazz
The Good: Andre Kirilenko is the best shot blocking small forward in the league. Okur has a great touch for a big man and second-year point guard Deron Williams is improving nicely .
The Bad: Gordon Giricek needs to find a way to create more shots for himself. He is not quick for a two guard and Jerry Sloan needs him to get open as he is the Jazz best shooter.
The Ugly: The way Carlos Boozer tries to knock down the jump shot off a pick and roll that made the Mail Man famous is quite atrocious.
4. Seattle Supersonics
The Good: Chris Wilcox is back after averaging 14 points a game in a Sonics uniform. Ray Allen just keeps on ticking and is a proven leader. Luke Ridnour is ready to take his game to the next level, and if he doesn’t, Earl Watson will.
The Bad: Bob Hill did his best to fix a sinking ship created by Bob Weiss, but it was already too late. Danny Fortson has already been suspended and Johan Petro needs to toughen up in the middle.
The Ugly: The state of the franchise. Can you say Oklahoma City Sonics?
5. Portland Trail Blazers
The Good: With an average age of 25.1, at least they won’t get tired. Brandon Roy and Jarrett Jack have the potential to be a good backcourt for a long time.
The Bad: Joel Pryzbilla and Jamaal Magloire are both overpaid and will platoon at center.
The Ugly: A once promising prospect, Zach Randolph’s numbers are dropping and his bad attitude is rising.
The Good: With Jason Kidd running the show and Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson on the wings, they have the potential to put up lots of points in a hurry.
The Bad: PF Jason Collins averages just 4.8 rebounds a game. Every other starter on the Nets averages atleast 5.8.
The Ugly: Clifford Robinson still thinks it is 1998.
2. Boston Celtics
The Good: Paul Pierce is the most undervalued player in the league. He does a little bit of everything, now if only he could get some teammates who can do the same.
The Bad: Sebastian Telfair, Rajon Rondo and Delonte West are three good, young guards. But there isn’t enough room on the court for all three. Someone isn’t going to be happy about their playing time.
The Ugly: Theo Ratliff is starting at center. Michael Olowokandi is his backup.
3. Toronto Raptors
The Good: Chris Bosh is the best player no one talks about. He will be an All-Star for years to come.
The Bad: They imported four guys from overseas, how quickly they can adapt to the NBA will be vital to this team’s success.
The Ugly: They always seem to end up in the NBA Lottery. Why would this year be any different?
4. New York Knicks
The Good: They have some of the better individual scores in the league. Marbury, Francis, Crawford and Richardson can get a shot off from just about anywhere.
The Bad: There isn’t a pure point guard on the roster.
The Ugly: They already gave up the chance to land Greg Odom in the upcoming draft, after trading the pick to acquire Eddy Curry. Not so smart.
5. Philadelphia 76ers
The Good: Allen Iverson is the answer to one question: who will score?
The Bad: He won’t be the answer to the question: who will be the leader of this team?
The Ugly: There is no answer to the above question.
CENTRAL
1. Chicago Bulls
The Good: Best set of young guards around, now have a legitimate front court to match.
The Bad: Those young guards (Hinrich, Gordon, Deng) better score in bunches because P.J. Brown and Ben Wallace might combine for 15 points a night.
The Ugly: They might be getting too much hype too early. Let’s see how they play before people start crowning them the champs.
2. Cleveland Cavaliers
The Good: LeBron is, well, LeBron. Larry Hughes is healthy. Zydrunas Illgauskas is a force in the paint.
The Bad: Eric Snow and Damon Jones are not the answer at the point. I have a feeling LeBron might be playing a lot of PG this season
The Ugly: LeBron can try to be Jordan all he wants, but with this supporting cast, he will find himself falling short of his first title.
3. Detroit Pistons
The Good: This team still knows what it takes to win a championship. They might lack some talent of years past but will not lack hustle and desire.
The Bad: With the new post-foul arguing rules, Rasheed Wallace might find himself spending more time in the locker-room than on the court.
The Ugly: Nazr Mohammed replaced Ben Wallace at center. Oh No!
4. Indiana Pacers
The Good: They have a formidable starting five that will get out and run. If Jermaine O’Neal can stay healthy, this team could be a surprise.
The Bad: When Jeff Foster is slated to get the most minutes at backup forward and center, things aren't looking very bright.
The Ugly: Darrell Armstrong should be an assistant coach on this team, not a backup guard.
5. Milwaukee Bucks
The Good: Michael Redd can shoot from just about anywhere on the floor. He will need to light it up every night for the Bucks to win.
The Bad: Bobby Simmons was a complete bust as a free-agent signing last year. He has to bounce back and show that he deserves his contract.
The Ugly: Ruben Patterson is a registered sex offender. That is never a good attribute to have on the back of your basketball card.
SOUTHEAST
1. Miami Heat
The Good: Still the champs until someone proves they can knock them off.
The Bad: Shaq isn’t getting any younger, neither is Antoine Walker, neither is Gary Payton, neither is Alonzo Mourning. Wait a second, this team is old!
The Ugly: Jason Williams attempt to play defense. It is downright atrocious.
2. Washington Wizards
The Good: Gilbert Arenas provides numbers all the way across the board. If he can continue to score and play defense every night, the Wizards will be in good shape.
The Bad: DeShawn Stevenson should not be a starter. Well, he is a starter in Washington.
The Ugly: Arenas’ off the court antics. At some point they may become a distraction.
3. Orlando Magic
The Good: Dwight Howard is a beast down low. If Jameer Nelson can get him the ball, this one-two combo will put up some big numbers.
The Bad: Grant Hill is in the last year of his contact and on his last legs. J.J. Redick better be ready to step in soon.
The Ugly: This is Darko’s last chance to prove that he isn’t a bust. I’m not convinced that he isn’t.
4. Charlotte Bobcats
The Good: Emeka Okafor, Gerald Wallace and Raymond Felton are a nice trio of young players to build around. The Bobcats will continue to improve from last year.
The Bad: Their nickname is the Bobcats. C’mon, is this "Any Given Sunday" or something? Get a real nickname and people might take you serious.
The Ugly: Adam Morrison’s mustache is still ugly as ever.
5. Atlanta Hawks
The Good: Josh Smith is only 20-years-old and has an all-around game of a 20-year veteran. Look for him, Joe Johnson, Marvin Williams and Josh Childress to all make huge leaps this season.
The Bad: They passed on Chris Paul last year and Brandon Roy this year. Sheldon Williams with the fifth pick? Someone needs to get fired.
The Ugly: Still easily the worst team in the league. Greg Odom should be getting fitted for a Hawks jersey right about now.
Choosing the nickname for a professional sports team is very serious business. Teams need to make sure that the name has some team-specific significance, that it isn’t too corny, and that it is not confusing to fans. Unfortunately, New Zealand’s badminton team, affectionately known as the Black ####, didn’t pay attention to the last rule. Some American teams also chose to ignore these rules when they chose a name. Here, in no particular order, are the lamest team nicknames accompanied with suggestions for more appropriate ones.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Reports are that the team will be changing its name in the off-season. If there is any team that needs a name change to assist with an image makeover it is Tampa Bay. All around baseball, the name Devil Rays is synonymous with sucking.
Suggestion: Tampa Bay Tangerines
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Perhaps the most confusing name in all of professional sports. Not only does the team have two cities in its name, but it also has its nickname repeated. The Spanish translation for “the angels” is Los Angeles. So I present to you, The Angels Angels of Anaheim. Huh?
Suggestion: Los Angeles Traffic
Utah Jazz
This nickname made sense when the team was located in New Orleans, which is the birthplace of jazz music. Now in Utah, a musical nickname just doesn’t seem appropriate.
Suggestion: Utah Salt Lakes
Houston Texans
So the people who came up with this nickname weren’t exactly geniuses; but unlike some other teams, at least their nickname has some relevance to the team’s location. Still, Houston gets a negative 10 for lack of creativity.
Suggestion: Houston Wranglers
Connecticut Sun (WNBA)
Is it ever even sunny in Connecticut? This name is fine for Phoenix but doesn’t fit at all for a team based in the northeast.
Suggestion: Connecticut Colds
Colorado Rockies
Probably one of the most obvious nicknames in sports. Is Colorado known for anything besides the Rocky Mountains? Okay, maybe Coors beer but besides its beer, Colorado loves its mountains.
Suggestion: Colorado Black Diamonds
Charlotte Bobcats
The newest team in the NBA had a chance to make a real splash with its nickname. Somehow the team settled on the made-for-movie fake team name, Bobcats. This name just reminds me too much of the Miami Sharks from “Any Given Sunday.”
Suggestion: Charlotte Independence
Minnesota Wild (NHL)
What is so wild about Minnesota? Apparently not much or the North Stars wouldn’t have bolted to Dallas. Even though wild in this case refers to a vast open area, which is precisely what this name is: too vast. Something more specific would be a good start.
Suggestion: Minnesota Rolling Rocks
Toronto Raptors
Toronto isn’t a very good team, but its nickname might be worse. From what I know a Raptor is a small dinosaur from the prehistoric age. What Toronto and dinosaurs have in common is beyond me. Also, if they were going to choose a dinasaur name, why not go for something more ferocious like the Tyrannosaurus Rex? Raptors just don’t seem to strike much fear in people.
Suggestion: Toronto Parliament
Washington Wizards
I liked the team a lot better when it was called the Bullets. Now that was a sweet name. Wizards just sounds a little too geeky. Watch out, they might try to cast a spell on you.
Suggestion: Washington Congressmen
Cleveland Browns The worst color in the world seems appropriate for one of the worst teams in the world. The color brown is so blah. Which also describes the Browns’ play.
Suggestion: Cleveland Industrials
Atlanta Thrashers (NHL)
According to the dictionary, a thrasher is any of various New World songbirds related to the mockingbird. What, are the intimidating Thrashers going to sing you to death? Even though Hawks and Falcons are already taken by their respective NBA and NFL counterparts, any other bird besides a mockingbird would have done the trick.
Suggestions: Atlanta Vultures
New York Red Bulls (MLS)
Anytime a corporation sneaks its name into a team’s nickname it isn’t a good thing. Red Bulls would be pretty cool if it was a made up name and not the name of an energy drink.
According to American standards, the 2004 version of the U.S. men’s basketball team was a disappointment. The U.S. team has a long history of Olympic basketball dominance, winning the gold medal in 12 of 14 Olympic competitions from 1936-2000. The 2004 team had a long history of sucking. There was no logical reason for that team to not win the gold or at least the silver. The roster featured a group of proven All-stars including Tim Duncan and Allen Iverson, and a group of budding superstars in LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, and Amare Stoudemire, yet they jelled as well as the Larry Brown coached New York Knicks. Was it a coincidence that Brown happened to be the head coach of that national team? Just something to ponder. Instead of dominating the competition, the U.S. brought home the bronze, finishing behind soccer powerhouses Argentina and Italy. Now that the 15 finalists for the 2006 U.S. national team’s roster were announced Tuesday, it looks like Team Director Jerry Colangelo is putting together a balanced team capable of demoralizing the competition as previous U.S. teams have become accustomed to. Instead of filling the squad with me-first players, guys with gigantic egos and a lack of anyone who could hit an open jump shot, this year’s team is filled with shooters, role-players, and team oriented players. The 2006 roster will still be cut down to 12 before Aug. 19, leaving 3 players hanging in the balance, but for the first time since the mid 90s our national team looks like an unstoppable force. The best team ever assembled in history was the 1992 Dream Team, which featured future Hall of Famers at every position. This team is a lot younger, and less experienced than the 1992 team, but the future Hall of Fame potential is still there. Here is a break down of which 2006 star is most likely to fill the role of their 1992 counterpart.
2006 Roster Finalists
Carmelo Anthony F (Denver Nuggets)
Gilbert Arenas G (Washington Wizards)
Shane Battier F (Houston Rockets)
Chris Bosh F (Toronto Raptors)
Bruce Bowen F (San Antonio Spurs)
Elton Brand F (Los Angeles Clippers)
Kirk Hinrich G (Chicago Bulls)
Dwight Howard F/C (Orlando Magic)
LeBron James F (Cleveland Cavaliers)
Antawn Jamison F (Washington Wizards)
Joe Johnson G/F (Atlanta Hawks)
Brad Miller C (Sacramento Kings)
Chris Paul G (New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets)
Amaré Stoudemire F (Phoenix Suns)
Dwayne Wade G (Miami Heat)
1992 Olympic Team Roster
Charles Barkley F (Phoenix Suns)
2006 clone: Dwight Howard
Barkley is considered to be one of the best, not to mention the nastiest, rebounders in history. If there is one thing that Howard knows how to do, it is rebounding. Only 20 years-old, Howard has already mastered the art of rebounding and is one of the best in the league at pulling down boards. If he keeps his current 11.3 rebounds/game average up, he will be right on par with Sir Charles. Look for him to keep opposing international foes from getting anywhere near the key.
Larry Bird F (Boston Celtics)
2006 clone: Carmelo Anthony
If clutch shooting was an official statistic, Anthony would be leading the league. He is quickly developing into one of the NBA’s most clutch players. Bird made a career out of making big shots. If there is one thing that the U.S. needs it is someone they can count on to make shots in a close game. While Anthony may not have the long-distant range that Bird possessed, his all-around scoring ability is extremely Bird like.
Clyde Drexler G (Portland Trail Blazers)
2006 clone: Gilbert Arenas
“Clyde the Glide” could practically float around the basketball court. He did a little bit of everything, including his signature high-flying dunks. Arenas has become the NBA’s triple-double king, plays great “D” and can soar to new heights like his counterpart Drexler. Much like Clyde, the U.S. team will count on Arenas to defend on the perimeter and break out on the fast-break.
Patrick Ewing C (New York Knicks)
2006 clone: Amaré Stoudemire
In his prime, Ewing was an absolute monster. There is no better way to describe Stoudemire. He is a freak of nature, whose basketball abilities are limitless. Much like Ewing, Stoudemire is a complete force in the paint and can throw done nasty dunks with the best of them. If he is completely healthy, Stoudemire will be a force to be reckoned with on both ends of the court.
Earvin “Magic” Johnson G (Los Angeles Lakers)
2006 clone: LeBron James
Magic was the most versatile player of his time. He could score at shooting guard, pass like a point guard, and rebound like a center. Sounds a lot like someone else I know: LeBron. In his short career, James has proven to be the best all-around player in the league. He has the tools to do all the things Magic did on the court, not to mention the same boyish smile. James and Wade have the potential to form the Magic-Jordan tandem of the next 15 years.
Michael Jordan G (Chicago Bulls)
2006 clone: Dwayne Wade
The easy choice here would be LeBron, considering the Jordan comparisons, but based on recent play Wade is a more accurate Jordan comparison. Consider that Wade plays seemingly effortless, has won a championship, become the leader of his team, and can take over games in a blink of an eye. Sounds a little bit like Michael, doesn’t it? Wade might not have the Jordan star appeal over-seas yet, but after international fans see him in China in 2008, that could very well change.
Christian Laettner F (Duke)
2006 clone: Brad Miller
(Insert “Tall, white guy joke” here). Besides skin color, Laettner and Miller don’t have much in common. While Laettner’s role on the team was strictly as a cheerleader, Miller is a legitimate center who will bring offense and great passing. He might not play much defense, but Miller’s big frame will do enough to clog up the opposition’s lane.
Karl Malone F (Utah Jazz)
2006 clone: Elton Brand
Possibly the most consistent forward ever, Malone could score around the basket and hit 15 footers with his eyes closed, not to mention rebound like an animal. Brand’s game mimics Malone’s in every way, right down to the sweet outside jumper. He goes about his game with a workman-like complex, ala Malone. Brand might never get the recognition that Malone did, but his constancy will be a huge asset to the U.S. team.
Chris Mullin F (Golden State Warriors)
2006 clone: Bruce Bowen
Mullin was the complementary glue that held the ’92 team together. While not a star, Mullin did the little things that helped his team win. He could shoot the three, guard on the perimeter, and pester opposing team’s players. Bowen does all of this and then some. He is a great outside shooter and the best defense player on the team. He will be counted on, like Mullin, to do the little things and receive little fanfare in the process.
Scottie Pippen G/F (Chicago Bulls)
2006 clone: Joe Johnson
At 6-7, Pippen was one of the most multitalented players around. At 6-7 Johnson is on his way to becoming a multitalented star himself. These two have more than height in common. Both can pass the ball exceptionally well for their size, score when needed, and are menacing on defense. Johnson might not have the impact that Pippen had on the Dream Team, but he will be a valuable asset off the bench with his well-rounded game.
David Robinson C (San Antonio Spurs)
2006 clone: Chris Bosh
A lanky, left-handed center, with a great inside-out game. Is it Robinson or Bosh- take your pick. Bosh/Robinson might be the closet thing to an exact clone of any of the other comparisons. In his career, Robinson won a scoring crown, a rebounding title and was named to the NBA All-Defensive First team three times. Bosh can already score, rebound, and is a top-notched shot-blocker like Robinson. He is the odds on favorite to lead the Olympic Games in blocked shots.
John Stockton G (Utah Jazz)
2006 clone: Chris Paul
Paul has the potential to lead the league in assists for years to come. He is the most un-selfish player since, well, Stockton. These two tiny guards will break down defenses faster than you can say “Alley-Oop.” Paul is just be a rookie, but he is the one guy who can and should lead this team to the gold medal. www.oldskoolsports.com
The 2006 ESPY awards have come and gone. In case you missed it the evening was filled with laughs, tears and as always some unintentional comedy. Here is a rundown of some of the show’s highlights and lowlights.
First off, we need to congratulate host Lance Armstrong on finding his new career after cycling. He is now a full-time comedian and can be seen at the Laugh Factory every Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. Just kidding, but you have to give a hand to the show’s writers who made Armstrong look like an everyday Richard Pryor up there on stage.
After a slide show and a few Brokeback jokes to open the evening, the first award was for Best Championship Performance. It was presented by Janet Jackson. What? Tito must not have been available. I thought presenters at these shows either A) Played a sport or B) are frequently in the tabloids for being famous. If it was 1986 this would make a whole lot more sense.
Vince Young won the Championship Performance award and proceeded to thank his “teammates” Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. Apparently everyone is really a USC fan deep down. Young should have brought up a cheat sheet with the names of his teammates on it to keep him from messing it up. He also should have used a cheat sheet on the Wonderlic Test, but that is neither here nor there.
And the award for Most Awkward Pairing goes to Shaun White and Carmen Electra. Someone should have told him that staring directly at her boobs while being filmed is a dead give away.
Was it just me or did it seem like the dress code required every athlete to wear sunglasses or a Pimp Hat?
Speaking of clothing, everyone in attendance was dressed very sharp. Most of the men had on suits and ties, and then there was Matthew McConaughey who had on a sailing shirt that showed off his chest. I guess when you are the Sexiest Man Alive it really doesn’t matter what you wear.
Chris Berman came out on stage and within 15 seconds, surprise surprise, managed to plug ABC and NASCAR. This guy must get paid even when he isn’t working.
Berman then introduced the SportsCentury of Ricky Bobby. The skit was pretty much a plug for Talladega Nights but still managed to be very funny. Is it safe to say that the Will Ferrell we all love is back for good? For our own good, let’s hope so.
The award for Best Game shouldn’t have even been up for a vote. The winner was the USC-Texas Rose Bowl. If that game didn’t win it would have been a bigger upset than Texas actually beating USC.
The Pittsburg Steelers won the award for Best Team. This team is slowly becoming the New York Yankees of the NFL. I knew a handful of Steelers fans before the season started, but now everyone and their mother is a Steelers fan. By the way, I thought it was a little rude that Jerome Bettis didn’t thank the referees for their support, during his acceptance speech.
Awkward moment No. 2 comes courtesy of the same Pittsburg Steelers. After winning the award, the group of team members on hand called a “surprise” guest to the stage. Ben Roethlisberger then appeared to very little ovation and thanked the fans for their support. I was hoping that Lance and Ben would ride out together on a tandem bicycle wearing Bell helmets. Now that would have been worth the price of admission.
And finally, the show came to an end with the only musical act of the night. It was a collaboration of musicians including the O’Jays and Talib Kweli among others. What happened next had the potential to go down in history as one of the show’s greatest moments. Random athletes were pulled up on stage to dance and sing along to the song. LeBron, Dwayne Wade, Alonzo Mourning, and Gary Payton were all up there shaking to the groove. Miraculously, the only white guy on stage was Lance and he had to be there. I was secretly hoping that somehow Doug Flutie or Landon Donovan would have made their way to the stage for a potential Mark Madson infused dance-off. It didn’t go as I hoped, but there is always next year. www.oldskoolsports.com
Love him or hate him, Ron Artest is a funny man. Every time this guy opens his mouth, comedy ensues. I’m not saying he is dumb nor am I saying he is a scholar, but Ron is downright funny. The guy is so brutally honest, almost to a fault, that most of the time he lets the words come out of his mouth before his brain has a chance to think. Artest is the guy who once said his New Year’s resolution was to “teach math classes in elementary schools throughout the country.” But only on off days I assume, right Ron? This interview from Sunday’s Sacramento Bee is a classic example of Artest at the top of his game, covering topics including him threatening to kill Bonzi Wells, the Kings coaching situation and his rap career. Here are a few of my favorite Ron-isms from the article.
On playing for Rick Adelman last season…
“We had a really good run. I love Rick. We had probably one of the best seasons in the history of the NBA, with how it turned out. Who ever had a turnaround like we did? I don't know. I don't think anybody. It might have been one of the best turnarounds.”
On playing for new Kings coach Eric Musselman…
“I've seen him before. But when they said we got Musselman, I thought we got his (late) father (Bill Musselman). I thought, oh cool, we got Musselman. I didn't know it was his son.”
On what another player told him about Mussleman…
“He said, 'Yo, Ron, you've got the best coach in the league.' I'm at a club, you know, and players don't say that. Players aren't going to come up to you and say that. I was like, Wow, that's neat. That's a big statement right there, coming from a player in a club. He had nothing bad to say about him.”
On Bonzi Wells’ free agent status…
“He called me last week. I told him if he leaves, then I'm going to kill him. Unless he wants to die, he's got to stay (with the Kings).”
On his summer plans…
“But summertime is my time to blow it up. The summertime is all music. I'm definitely working on my game, improving on my jump shot, fixing some kinks and stuff, but I love music. I've got this great album that nobody's heard yet.”
And my personal favorite
On Wells possibly leaving the Kings…
“I'm not even thinking that way right now. Bonzi's a Sacramento King, right now. I think he's still getting a check from them, too. Or maybe he is free, but he's a Sacramento King.”
The Pistons are going to regret not re-signing free agent Ben Wallace. At least this gives Darko Milicic a chance to get off the pine and get some playing time. Wait a second; the Pistons traded Darko last year in hopes of saving money to bring back Wallace. Talk about awkward.
The Bulls, after stealing Wallace away, are now serious title contenders for the first time since MJ and co. ran circles around the league. I just can’t wait to hear what Ozzie Guillen has to say about the signing.
The New Orleans Hornets have provided the first “what were they thinking” move of the off-season. They gave $64 million to Peja Stojakovic. The same guy who was once compared to Larry Bird. The same guy who has no inside game, period. The same guy who has disappeared in the playoffs every single season. Things could get ugly down in the Bayou.
Some one is going to accuse hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi of using performance enhancing drugs.
How has no one been seriously injured at one of these eating competitions? On second thought, maybe injuries do happen; it’s just that heart attacks, strokes and ulcers are considered occupational hazards in the sport of competitive eating.
David Beckham officially stepped down as captain of England’s soccer team. Here’s betting that the guy who supplants Becks will not be anywhere near as attractive.
Italy will be playing for the World Cup title. They haven’t lost a match yet, only tying the disappointing United States 1-1 thanks to an own goal. Apparently these Italians aren’t as good as they look.
Have fun watching the Subway Series, I mean 2006 MLB All-Star game.
If there was one roster spot still available for the game and the ballot included the Phillies Bobby Abreu or the New York Mets Jose Lima. I’m betting on Lima in a landslide.
Nomar Garciaparra is an obvious snub from the National League’s team. Insert (“I didn’t even know Nomar was healthy” joke) here.
Want to know what’s wrong will the All-Star voting? Kansas City Royals pitcher Mark Redman, he of the 5.50 ERA made the roster. I guess it was the safe pick considering Reggie Sanders’ .240 BA.
The Tour de France is underway. Luckily Lance Armstrong got out when he did. All these doping allegations are enough to ruin a guy’s reputation.
Jose Canseco has already asked for a trade after playing only one game with his new team. He also asked Mark McGwire to be his friend on MySpace. Looks like that trade request might be a little more feasible.
On a final note. Scott Schafer, a Met’s sixth-round draft pick, was dropped by his agent and forced to settle for a below-average bonus after posting pictures of himself in a Met’s hat and espousing vulgar things. Nice one Scott. Gotta love MySpace.
Mark Cuban wants to take over Canada’s national pastime. The NBA’s public enemy number one is trying to expand his horizons into the world of hockey. The Dallas Mavericks' owner has joined a group who is trying to buy the NHL’s Pittsburg Penguins. Now, I’m not sure exactly what Mark Cuban knows about hockey and frankly I don’t care. This guy is going to be the best thing to hit the ice since Gretzky. I can see Cuban sitting rink-side, decked out in his Sidney Crosby jersey, pounding on the glass and berating the referees. I want to see how he is going to react the first time a fight breaks out. “Wait…what is this? Mark Cuban has skated onto the ice and is putting Paul Kariya in a headlock.” He better learn to skate in a hurry. This potential purchase has comedy written all over it. Maybe even David Stern will even have a laugh thinking about it.
With their college careers officially over, these stars are ready to graduate into the school that is the NBA. Who got voted Most Likely to succeed, or fail, and everything in between? See what the future holds for these ballers.
1. Toronto LaMarcus Aldridge C Texas
Most Likely To: Be another #1 bust. With how weak this draft is shaping up to be, it almost seems inevitable. If not, the worst case scenario is a mix of Chris Webber and Kwame Brown.
2. Chicago Tyrus Thomas PF LSU
Most Likely To: Contribute opening night. The Bulls need a hard-nosed rebounder at power forward. This looks like a match made at eHarmony.
3. Charlotte Brandon Roy SG Washington
Most Likely To: Succeed. He has the tools to be the best all-around player from this draft just not the hype, yet.
4. Portland Adam Morrison SF Gonzaga
Most Likely To: Ask for a trade. Morrison is good, but I don’t know anyone who wants to play for the Blazers.
5. Atlanta Randy Foye PG Villanova
Most Likely To: Make his GM look like he knows what he is doing for once. Finally a point guard! Thank the Lord.
Most Likely To: Be suspended for conduct detrimental to the team. The day this guy shows some effort is the day he becomes an All-Star.
7. Boston Andrea Bargani PF Italy
Most Likely To: Be confused as a ball boy. This guy is going to be riding more pine than an assistant coach.
8. Houston Marcus Williams PG Connecticut
Most Likely To: Proclaim himself the steal of the draft. Also, most likely to be in the coaches’ doghouse first.
9. Golden State Patrick O’Bryant C Bradley
Most Likely To: Make GM Chris Mullin wish he had Erick Dampier back. Psych!
10. Seattle Rodney Carney SF Memphis
Most Likely To: To win the NBA Sixth Man award. His all-around game might not ever warrant a starting position, but this guy can bring a spark that competes with the best of them.
11. Orlando Ronnie Brewer SG Arkansas
Most Likely To: Be forgetten about. There is always at least one guy who you forget what team he was drafted by, until one day you see him on TV and say, “Oh, so that’s where he ended up.”
12. NO/Oklahoma City J.J. Redick SG Duke
Most Likely To: Become the next Jeff Hornacek. No it’s not because he is white, can shoot the lights out, and do little else. Oh wait, that is exactly why.
13. Philadelphia Rajon Rando PG Kentucky
Most Likely To: Crack under pressure. The guy should still be in school, has Mo Cheeks as his coach and Allen Iverson as his teammate. I sense some tears will be shed.
14. Utah Sheldon Williams PF Duke
Most Likely To: Be an attorney in 5 years. How many dominate “tweener” collegiate stars have failed miserably in the NBA? Too many to count, but at least he has that Duke degree to fall back on.
15. NO/Oklahoma City Cedric Simmons PF N.C. State
Most Likely To: Be taken too low for his talent and have a bigger impact than half the guys chosen before him.
16. Chicago Shannon Brown SG Michigan St.
Most Likely To: Be a hometown hero. Brown was born in Chicago. He's already a legend in their minds.
17. Indiana Alexander Johnson PF Florida State
Most Likely To: Fail. Nothing personal, it just that 6-9 power forwards get chewed up and spit out likes it’s a job. See:Williams, Sheldon
18. Washington Hilton Armstrong PF Connecticut
Most Likely To: Serve tacos at Taco Bell. One good year and all of the sudden he is a first round pick. If he doesn’t keep it up, he better learn to say, “May I take your order?”
19. Sacramento Kyle Lowry PG Villanova
Most Likely To: Lead the league in assists. Lowry is as solid and steady as they come. He’ll have a long, stable career at the point guard position. Think Tim Hardaway.
20. New York Shawne Williams SF Memphis
Most Likely To: Hate his teammates. C’mon. Jalen Rose, Stephon Marbury, Steve Francis, Jerome James. That doesn’t sound like the Brady Bunch.
21. Phoenix Sergio Rodriguez PG Spain
Most Likely To: Fit in the best with his new team. His Run-N-Gun style seems to suit the high-flying Suns’ offense perfectly.
22. New Jersey Jordan Farmar PG UCLA
Most Likely To: Wish he had opted to return to college for another year. This guy has first-round bust written all over him.
23. New Jersey Mouhamed Saer Sene C Sengal
Most Likely To: Have his name mispronounced. I think we should just call him “The S.S. Mouhamed” from here on out.
24. Memphis Guillermo Diaz SG Memphis
Most Likely To: Drafted too high. I think he is a second-rounder, but some team will reach for him.
25. Cleveland Mardy Collins PG Temple
Most Likely To: Steal a starting position. The guy is 6-7 and can handle the ball. Eric Snow and Damon Jones are gonna be pissed.
26. LA Lakers Quincy Douby SG Rutgers
Most Likely To: Be heckled on the road. Nicknames like Quincy “Smoking a” Douby or Quincy “High as a Kite” Douby come to mind.
27. Phoenix Thabo Sefolosha SF Switzerland
Most Likely To: Have his draft rights traded. He will be a throw-in in some midseason blockbuster. This always happens with some European player.
28. Dallas James White SG Cincinnati
Most Likely To: Win the Dunk Contest his rookie season. This guy can fly like a F-18.
29. New York Josh Boone PF Connecticut
Most Likely To: Be booed in his first game. New York fans will love his lack of enthusiasm. He will fit in just fine with the Knicks.
30. Portland Damir Markota SF Croatia
Most Likely To: Never see the daylight of the NBA. The Blazers would give this pick away just to avoid having another rookie on its team. That’s why Markota will spend at least the next 3 years playing overseas.
Choke on that Phil Mickelson. Looks like “Lefty” isn’t everybody’s All-American anymore. With the U.S. Open in his back pocket, Philly “Cheese Steak” Mickelson pissed it away. Actually, he hit it so far left off the 18th tee that the ball bounced off a circus tent situated about 250 yards down the left hand rough and back into the crowd. Thank God Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey were in town, or Cheese Steak could have been staring a triple-bogey right in the face. Maybe it was meant to be though. Golf is a sport, and athletes compete in sports. With those man boobs of his, Cheese Steak is far from a well-oiled machine. Put down the fork, face!
The NBA Finals are one game away from possible being over. It’s just a hunch but I don’t think Mark Cuban is very happy. Plus he likes to curse..a lot. Give this guy some Ritalin already. He talks more #### behind the referees back than Paris Hilton talks behind Nicole Richie’s. If the finals were a hissy-fit screaming match, the Mavericks would have swept 4-0. But since we actually play the games, the Heat are on there way to the title because of one man- Dwayne Wade. This guy is punking the whole Dallas team every single time he steps on the floor. Forget the Big Aristotle, Shaq is now the Big Sidekick. While Shaq continues to shoot his team out of games, 7-22 from the free throw stripe the last two games, D-Wade is picking up the slack. That’s why they are free throws big fella. Maybe if he stopped running around South Beach playing detective and spent some time shooting in the gym, the Heat could have wrapped this thing up by now.
A football player was arrested last night, and somewhere Lawrence Taylor laughed hysterically. Pittsburg Steelers wide receiver Santonio Holmes was arrested Monday after being arraigned on charges of domestic violence by assault, assault and speeding. And get this, he swears he is innocent. He is probably right, the police are just out to get him. Sure buddy. Maybe Holmes should stop beating down people off the field and focus on beating down his opponents on it. Athletes just don’t seem to get enough attention in the off-season so they have to do something to get their name in the paper. Whatever helps get your name out there, right Santonio? This is Holmes second arrest since being drafted in April, but unfortunately he still trails Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry, who has been arrested four times in the past six months, in the unofficial NFL Arrest Race. Easily the most popular player this off-season, Henry will look to make some noise ON the field this season. Yes Chris, they pay you for touchdowns not arrests.
During the seventh-inning stretch at Sunday’s Cubs game, Entourage’s Jeremy Piven decided to add a little something extra to his rendition of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” Before he began to sing Piven yelled out, “Let’s hug it out, you little ####es.” But apparently cursing in front of 40,000 fans is a no-no. Cubs fans haven’t gotten this worked up since, well, dare I say 1908. What do expect from a guy who hangs out in Hollywood with Vinnie Chase, Johnny Drama and the rest of the crew every day. I’m personally surprised that he didn’t drop a famous Ari Gold f-bomb on the crowd. Now that would have made Harry Carey turn over in his grave.
Behind a rookie goaltender, the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup trophy after beating the Edmonton Oilers on Monday night. Is it just me, or is the nickname “Hurricanes” just a little insensitive these days? First the Florida Panthers finish near the bottom of its division, and now Carolina rubs it in just a little bit more. Nothing like turning a national disaster into a national joke.
The NBA held its annual NBA draft lottery on a couple weeks ago and I'm pretty sure that not one GM in attendence was crossing their fingers hoping to draw the number one spot. Okay, so maybe John Paxson was secretly hoping to secure the top spot, but only so he could call Isiah Thomas and rub in that Eddy Curry for a first-round pick deal last summer. Unfortunatly the Bulls weren't so lucky as the Raptors defied all odds and won the lottery. Good luck. This year's version of a NBA draft might stand for Nothing But Average. When an unknown Italian with potential (Andrea Bargnani), a relative one-year wonder (Tyus Thomas), and a inconsistant center (LaMarcus Aldridge) are your top three prospects, there is potential for disaster. Whoever ends up number one overall has more chance to end up in the Olowokandi/Kwame Brown/Joe Smith mold than LeBron/Webber/Yao. After Bargnani, Thomas and Aldridge are gone, GM's might as well pick names out of a hat because it's not going to matter who gets chosen; everyone is mediocre. Look at the avialable future role-players. Rudy ####, Adam Morrison, Sheldon Williams, Brandon Roy, Randy Foye, Ronnie Brewer, and Marcus Williams. Of these seven, how many can you see being an all-star, let alone a solid starter. The darkhorse is Roy who has the all-around tools to make an immediate Chris Paul type splash. The rest of the crew looks more like backups than stars. Some of them might have dominated in college, some are undersized, some have potential, and some don't play hard all the time. So that leaves us with a bunch of un-spectaular ballers, meaning that this draft will seriously challenge the 2000 draft as one of the worst of all-time. The 2000 draft featured a top-ten that included Kenyon Martin, Stromile Swift, Marcus Fizer, Chris Mihm, Mike Miller, DerMarr Johnson and Keyon Dooling. Not to mention a first round including Jerome Moiso, Etan Thomas, Courtney Alexander and Donnell Harvey. I'm pretty sure that I saw a couple of these guys taking my order at Burger King, because they are definately did not make it in the league. When Mark Madson is drafted, you know it is a weak draft. So what does this mean for 2006? Well it means that GM's better start getting creative, unless they want to end up with the next Donnell Harvey. They better pray that they can pull the next Manu Ginobilli or Rashard Lewis out of a hat or things will not end up pretty. Or they could always call Isiah and offer up their first round choice this year for one next year. Who knows, he might go for it.
NBA Western Conference preview (in predicted order of finish): 
NBA Eastern Conference preview (in predicted order of finish): 
Choosing the nickname for a professional sports team is very serious business. Teams need to make sure that the name has some team-specific significance, that it isn’t too corny, and that it is not confusing to fans. Unfortunately, New Zealand’s badminton team, affectionately known as the Black 
According to American standards, the 2004 version of the U.S. men’s basketball team was a disappointment. The U.S. team has a long history of Olympic basketball dominance, winning the gold medal in 12 of 14 Olympic competitions from 1936-2000. The 2004 team had a long history of sucking. There was no logical reason for that team to not win the gold or at least the silver. The roster featured a group of proven All-stars including Tim Duncan and Allen Iverson, and a group of budding superstars in LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, and Amare Stoudemire, yet they jelled as well as the Larry Brown coached New York Knicks. Was it a coincidence that Brown happened to be the head coach of that national team? Just something to ponder. Instead of dominating the competition, the U.S. brought home the bronze, finishing behind soccer powerhouses Argentina and Italy. Now that the 15 finalists for the 2006 U.S. national team’s roster were announced Tuesday, it looks like Team Director Jerry Colangelo is putting together a balanced team capable of demoralizing the competition as previous U.S. teams have become accustomed to. Instead of filling the squad with me-first players, guys with gigantic egos and a lack of anyone who could hit an open jump shot, this year’s team is filled with shooters, role-players, and team oriented players. The 2006 roster will still be cut down to 12 before Aug. 19, leaving 3 players hanging in the balance, but for the first time since the mid 90s our national team looks like an unstoppable force. The best team ever assembled in history was the 1992 Dream Team, which featured future Hall of Famers at every position. This team is a lot younger, and less experienced than the 1992 team, but the future Hall of Fame potential is still there. Here is a break down of which 2006 star is most likely to fill the role of their 1992 counterpart. 
The 2006 ESPY awards have come and gone. In case you missed it the evening was filled with laughs, tears and as always some unintentional comedy. Here is a rundown of some of the show’s highlights and lowlights. 
Love him or hate him, Ron Artest is a funny man. Every time this guy opens his mouth, comedy ensues. I’m not saying he is dumb nor am I saying he is a scholar, but Ron is downright funny. The guy is so brutally honest, almost to a fault, that most of the time he lets the words come out of his mouth before his brain has a chance to think. Artest is the guy who once said his New Year’s resolution was to “teach math classes in elementary schools throughout the country.” But only on off days I assume, right Ron? This 
With their college careers officially over, these stars are ready to graduate into the school that is the NBA. Who got voted Most Likely to succeed, or fail, and everything in between? See what the future holds for these ballers. 
