Much has been said about the impending doom of NASCAR and I have said a lot too.
So with that out of the way, I have some news flashes that will put excitement back into NASCAR.
1. CEO Brian France has announced he will step down for the 2007 season as CEO. The former CFO of Imron will take over the helm as CEO of NASCAR under a new work release program instituted by the judge rulling in his former court case.
2. MikeHelton has been promoted to chief flag man for the pit road access duties. He has also been given a new design helment with flashing red and green lights for the drivers to better see him
3. The COT has been reshuffeled to being the pace car and will allow minimum caution speeds of 125 MPH. NASCAR feels the engineering put into this car will allow the faster caution speeds. Guess the pit crews will really have their hands full now. Also less commercials during cautions.
4. Jeff Gordon has made true his promise to get out of racing cars if he ever got married again. NASCAR has offered him the position Mike Helton once held as the top boss hog. Jeff says his first job is to shut down the big yellow trailer. He was quoted as saying" All drivers can now vent their frustrations out on the track with out penalties". Johnson was heard saying" boy we got an insider that will favor us". Gordon was heard as saying " Keep it quiet pea brain".
5. Mark Martin has come out of retirement and plans to run a full schedule in Cup in 2007 racing a Toyota.
6.Pit road speeds have inched their way up to 75MPH. Pit crew members will now wear NFL football player padding for safety.
7. Restrictor plates are now off the cars at super speedways. Jr. was quoted as saying " #%*# you kidding me. Right?". Also rapid release jets are now legal. Jr. said" #%&* you kidding me. Right???
8. In order to bring disgrunteled fans back into the sport, NASCAR has announced a price reduction in seat prices up to 50% off in row 1A and 2A on turn 4 at all the tracks..
9. NASCAR has also announced driver prize money has also been reduced for the non winning drivers of a race and more money added to the winning driver pay out. Why would a driver finishing 43rd get nearly $100,000.00 in the first palce?
10.Tony Stewart has announced he will win all the races in 2007 due to the higher prize money for first place. Some other drivers at the press conference dissagreed and an ensuing altercation broke out. The press conference was canceled. Looked like a main event from the WWE but Stewart won.
11. Nascar has announced that they are bringing back the MISS NASCAR beauty for the winners circle. Likely candidates are the ladies from the Playboy Girls Next Door show. Wonder if that was the real reason for Stewart's quote in news flash #10.
12. Last but not least. The current Cup Chase points system was dropped in favor of JJD's points system as it was more in line with actual scoring.
Well, folks there you have it. All the exciting news that is news. This is Will Farrell your NASCAR sports caster wh--( POOOOFFFF!!!) What a heck of a fantasy dream.
Hey thanks for coming to my blog on a regular basis my friend. My name is Mark incidentally. I liked your article and I will continue to drop in even though I don't know that much about NASCAR. Maybe I can learn something.
Guess I am in the same boat on the NBA. Glad you liked the post. I have never professed to be a funny man and blow jokes regularly but this was an actual dream I had a few nights ago as a result from flu medication. Thought I was too young to get flu shots yet. Wrong !!!
Imagine my disappointment when I realized this post was farcical. As I started reading #1 I was thinking, "Yes, finally we're getting the Frenchies out of America's racing!" Dang.
Good post. And if Danica ever comes over to the boys club she'd better watch out. A good ole boy will run her over the first time she gets out of her wrecked car and throws a "fit" while marching back to the pits. Good bye Danica, hello Tony Stewart hood ornament.
Imagine my disappointment when I realized this post was farcical. As I started reading #1 I was thinking, "Yes, finally we're getting the Frenchies out of America's racing!" Dang.
Good post. And if Danica ever comes over to the boys club she'd better watch out. A good ole boy will run her over the first time she gets out of her wrecked car and throws a "fit" while marching back to the pits. Good bye Danica, hello Tony Stewart hood ornament.
Yep. It was a good dream.. Really hated waking up on this one. Danica Patrick in NASCAR. Don't know if that will happen soon. Depends on her success with her new racing team. As far as a hood ornament on Tony's car. Not likely. Im thinking more as a passenger in his car at a late night drive in theater.
Two things I guess I'll just have to dream about are,
1) NASCAR announcers being fined for saying "rocketship"
and
2) drivers only being allowed to work on their cars during the red flag while stopped on the track (gotta figure that would favor Sterling since he has practice).
Cheers!
Last edited by 14Falcons on December 8th at 8:41 PM.
I am still ROTFLMAO! Damn, that was funny! I also think that pitcrews should be limited to only 3 men over the wall, too. Let's see how much of a difference that makes!
Yep I remember that incident ( working on the car during red flag). Sterling is a master on that one.
On the announcers saying rocketship being fired. Must have been the NBC announcers. I think they did get the boot but would have loved to see those three let loose and duke it out. Never saw a group that had such open hostility towards each other.
Rapid Roy:
Ya know!!! You might just be onto something there on the pit crews limits. Always though they had too many guys over the wall risking injury. Cutting back to three makes sense.Guess the time in the pits would be longer but hey!!! thats racing.
Last edited by nphotogr on December 14th at 1:49 PM.
Avid auto racing fan and former racing participant for over 40 years. Enjoy all forms of auto racing but found NASCAR sanction to be my favorite followed by GTP and INDY cars. Have raced in SCCA, NHRA, Stock Car, and Modified sanctions in the past.
Getting up in years has regulated me to being a spectator but still find it exciting to go to the races and enjoy the hoopala surrounding the pre and post race festivities. Also find Nature Photography to be a relaxing form of enjoyment and get quite a few opportunities traveling around the country to the races to use my cameras at the tracks and nature preserves.
