There are certain things in life that I'll never understand, and I'm OK with that. For example, I'll never know why the sky is blue. I've still yet to figure out how it is that no matter what line I get in at the toll plaza, it always winds up being the slowest one. And I have no idea how the Philadelphia Eagles won the NFC East this year.
If you happened to drive along I-95 in Philadelphia on the morning of November 20, you probably noticed an abandoned green-and-white Eagles bandwagon lying in a ditch on the side of the road. The day before, Donovan McNabb crumpled to the turf in Lincoln Financial Field, the victim of a season-ending knee injury in a game versus the Tennessee Titans. The Eagles would go on to lose that game, and Eagles fans would begin to lose their nerve.
Who could blame them? Although the team's record stood at .500, a date with the Indianapolis Colts and a gauntlet of three consecutive road games against NFC East teams loomed on the horizon.
The trip to Indy went about as well as one could expect under the circumstances with one exception: despite the loss, Eagles' QB Jeff Garcia was remarkably efficient (19 for 23, 140 yards, 2 TDs) against the Colts' defense. Even still, emergency rooms across the Delaware Valley were filled with Birds' fans complaining of sprained ankles after jumping off of the aforementioned bandwagon in droves.
A funny thing happened on the way to December, however. At some point after that Colts game, the Eagles began to come together as a team. First came a Monday Night victory against the Carolina Panthers, and then - inexplicably - the Eagles went on the road and ripped off three consecutive wins against the Redskins, Giants and the Cowboys, and threw in a season-ending win against the Falcons to boot.
Reality check: teams don't win three straight road games against their rivals in the midst of a playoff race. They just don't. In fact, until the Eagles did it this year, no team in the NFL had won three straight division games on the road in December since the Giants did it back in 1982. If you had told me that the Eagles would sweep the three December games against their NFC East rivals - even before McNabb went down for the season - I would have laughed at you like a teenage girl who just inhaled a whippet balloon in the parking lot before a Dave Matthews concert.
Aside from Matt Millen's continued employment with the Detroit Lions, the Eagles' late season surge is the single most surreal story going on in the National Football League. Following the McNabb injury, commentators and armchair quarterbacks alike (myself included) had written the team off as a bunch of ne'er-do-wells. And now, they're hosting a playoff game against a team they beat by two touchdowns just a couple of weeks ago.
I can't explain it, but I don't have to. All I have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.
By the way... can anyone help me pull a bandwagon out of a ditch?
Thirteen things I learned about the world of sports in 2006:
No matter how many millions are spent on the Winter Olympics, no one cares when they're over.
Remember Shani Davis? Odds are that you don't. It's OK, I won't hold it against you, even though it's only been 10 months since he became the first African-American athlete to win an individual gold medal in the Winter Olympics.
No... I won't hold it against you because he's a speed skater, and he - much like the other 2,662 Winter Olympic athletes - quickly faded into oblivion (or, as Mike Tyson would say, "bolivian") shortly after the closing ceremonies in Turin.
Sure, Davis still skates competitively, just like skier Bode Miller continues to drink recreationally. But as soon as the Olympic torch was extinguished in late February, speedskating, skiing, snowboarding and the biathalon fell completely off of the radar of the typical American sports fan.
Take care, Shani. See you in Vancouver in 2010. No matter what you may have done in the past, if you drop 81 points in an NBA game, you get a free pass. At least for a little while, anyway.
You can't mess up the #1 pick, can you? - Volume I It made all the sense in the world. The Houston Texans had the first pick in the 2006 NFL Draft. They needed a running back. USC RB Reggie Bush - four months removed from winning the Heisman Trophy - was the consensus #1 selection. The Texans didn't take Bush. They didn't even take the hometown darling Vince Young. No - they took NC State DE Mario Williams, who has all of 4.5 sacks during his rookie campaign.
You can't mess up the #1 pick, can you? - Volume II Any person who had the #1 pick in their fantasy football league this season and didn't select LaDainian Tomlinson (myself included) is an ####. Period. And I don't care if he's on the cover of Madden NFL 2008 - if you have the first pick in your league next year and you don't take LT, then you should be banned from fantasy sports for five years. In fact, LT should be automatically assigned to the worst team in every fantasy league just as a matter of principle. 2006 was Vince Young's year. Let's review, shall we? 2006 was only days old when Vince Young and his Texas Longhorns upset the USC Trojans in what may have been the best college football game ever. All Vince did that night was score 3 TDs and rack up 200 yards on the ground, while throwing for 267 more through the air.
Less than two months later, reports surfaced that VY scored a 6 on the Wonderlic test given at the NFL Combine. Since a score of 10 is considered the threshold for literacy, Vince allegedly did the Wonderlic equivalent of running into several parked cars, failing to properly use his turn signal, and botching a three-point turn during his driving test. Young would later retake the Wonderlic and score a 16, which was good enough for the Tennessee Titans to draft him 3rd overall and lock him into a 6 year/$58 million deal.
With Tennessee, Young has learned the game under the tutelage of offensive coordinator Norm Chow, who is arguably the greatest quarterback coach ever (for references, see: McMahon, Jim; Young, Steve; Rivers, Philip; and Palmer, Carson). And despite not starting until the fourth game of the season (with the Titans starting out the year 0-3), Young has led his team to an 8-7 record with a reasonable chance at making the playoffs.
So Vince is basically playing with house money right now. Even someone with a 6 on the Wonderlic understands that much...
It's still hard to say goodbye. Every year, we lose a few more. Reggie White, Bo Schembechler, Red Auerbach, Lamar Hunt, Buck O'Neil, Kurt Gowdy, Kirby Puckett and dozens of others all said their final goodbyes in 2006. We all know that it's inevitable, but that doesn't mean that it hurts any less, either.
We fly high, no lie, and you know this... BRAWLIN'! Of the four major sports, two of them - football and basketball - have relatively few fights. But when they do happen... hide the women and children.
To say that the Miami and Florida International football teams "got into it" during their game in October is probably the understatement of the year. Helmets and crutches were used as weapons, bodies were being stomped on, and 31 players in all were suspended. Strangely enough, the fight occurred on a night when the Miami-Dade Police Department brought 700 area kids to the game as part of their "Join-a-Team, Not-a-Gang" anti-violence program. Irony is a beautiful thing.
Fortunately, the recent Knicks-Nuggets brawl was much tamer by comparison. Sure, J.R. Smith and Nate Robinson fell into the stands, and 10 players wound up getting suspended, but it was a far cry from the infamous "Malice in the Palace." As a matter of fact, the only semi-decent shot that landed in the whole incident was when the Knicks' Mardy Collins was "punched" by Denver's Carmelo Anthony, who backpedaled quicker than Champ Bailey covering a 9 route.
The US? That's Us. Losing in the World Baseball Classic was OK, even though it was played in our own backyard. And losing in the World Cup was fine as well - soccer is still a fringe sport in our country and the US team was vastly overrated well before they boarded their flight to Germany.
But in the month of September alone, athletes representing the United States lost in tennis' Davis Cup, got blown out 18.5 - 9.5 in golf's Ryder Cup and both our men's and women's basketball teams lost in the semifinals of the FIBA World Championships.
Well, at least we have a shot at winning the America's Cup in 2007. Nothing gets me more excited than a sailing regatta in Spain!
People really love horses. Game truly does recognize game. In September, Tiger Woods attended the U.S. Open in Flushing, NY as the personal guest of Roger Federer, who went on to win his 9th major title. The fact that Woods and Federer roll in the same circle shouldn't be that surprising. It's the same reason why the Angelina Jolies of the world always seem to hook up with the Brad Pitts.
In Woods and Federer, we may be watching the two most dominant athletes in the history of their respective sports. Enjoy it while you can.
The NHL gets lower ratings than SpongeBob Square Pants. Seriously. Question: who won the Stanley Cup this year? I'll admit it - I even forgot that the Carolina Hurricanes won until I saw a year-in-review retrospective on SportsCenter an hour ago.
It's a shame that no one cares about hockey. There are a TON of young stars - Crosby, Ovechkin, Malkin, Heatley, Kovalchuk, et al. - who are absolutely ridiculous with the puck. Yet because the NHL lacks a legitimate TV deal (most Americans don't even know they get Versus on their cable systems, much less actually watch it), the only people who get to see these talented athletes are die-hard hockey fans. So enjoy it IF you can...
Terrell Owens has 25 million reasons to live. This is the time of the year when just about everyone you run into will say something along the lines of: "Wow... 2006 sure went by fast!"
Everyone, except for Terrell Owens, that is. There aren't too many people on the planet who have had a more eventful year than the mercurial WR for the Dallas Cowboys. Here's what #81 has gotten himself into in the past 10 months alone:
- Waived by the Philadelphia Eagles in March - Signed a three-year deal with the Cowboys four days later - Posted a rap song on his website announcing the deal - Shows up two hours late for his youth football camp - Penned his second autobiography in 22 months - Admits that he was misquoted in parts of his autobiography - Spent most of training camp on a stationary bike - Overdosed on painkillers - Admitted to falling asleep in the film room - Tuned out a motivational speech from Coach Bill Parcells because he was more concerned with his birthday party in Vegas - Wrote a children's book: Little T Learns To Share - Spit on an opposing player - Currently leads the NFL in TD catches - Currently leads the NFL in dropped passes - Blames his teammates and coaches for the dropped passes
Other than that, T.O. hasn't really done much this year.
I've seen it happen before with marginal players, but I can't ever remember a time when a superstar such as A-Rod become completely inept at the basic concepts of his sport. Stars go through hitting slumps all of the time, but A-Rod can't even throw to first base, and his footwork around third is reportedly bad. He might need to borrow those Tom Emanski videos from Fred McGriff and practice throwing balls into trash cans like those kids who won back-to-back-to-back AAU national championships.
It's amazes me how hard the federal government is gunning for Barry Bonds. They're after him like he owes them money. Oh wait... he does.
OK, so Ozzie Guillen completely berates his stud pitcher John Garland - who was in the midst of a shutout - for throwing the ball behind the Rangers' Ian Kinsler. Twice. Ozzie only gives points for head shots, apparently.
Speaking of being "gangsta", Tony Stewart is the Ozzie Guillen of NASCAR. No respect for rookies, calling people out to fight, and basically saying whatever is on his mind, unsantized for media consumption. I'm not a huge stock car fan, but I dig his style.
About a week or so ago, former Sixers guard John Salmons spurned Phoenix and agreed in prinicple to a sign-and-trade deal that would send him to the Toronto Raptors. In the interim, the Suns filled their backup guard void by signing Marcus Banks to a five-year contract. Now, Salmons doesn't want to go to the Raptors, and no other suitors are lining up for his services. Good work on that, Johnny...
Shawn Kemp was arrested and charged last week with possesion of marijuana. Is this 1996 or 2006?
Al Harrington is on the verge of being traded back to the Pacers for a bag of air (in reality - cash, a draft pick, and a $7.5 million trade exception). For starters, this gives the Pacers a real solid starting five and a legitimate contender in the East. Secondly, the move completely eliminates ATL as a destination for AI.
On Sunday, I spent a summer evening watching an outdoor, middle school boys' basketball league. As I watched the sun set behind the trees, I realized that the sport of basketball - in its purest form - is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
Saints' fans (all seven of you) can rest easy... there is NO way Reggie Bush is going to sit out the entire 2006 season and re-enter the NFL Draft. Playing that primadonna card, quibbling over millions of dollars isn't going to fly in a city that was devastated by two hurricanes last year.
Names of randomness: C.J. Nitkowski, Craig Stadler, Harold "The Show" Arceneaux, Dale Sveum, Ray Whitney, Tyrone Wheatley
200 - The over/under on the number of yards T.O. gains in that October 8 matchup against the Philadelphia Eagles.
Her impressive performance was ignored due to the relative anonimity of the event (the Cincinnati Women's Open), but let me be the first to tell you: Serena Williams is back. She'll be a wildcard in the upcoming U.S. Open, but she's going to make some noise in September.
A man named Eldrick Woods just happens to be "back" as well. No need to put the PGA on notice - I think they've already heard of him.
That single thought has comforted me for the better part of the past decade. Until recently, I've been pretty confident that Iverson would retire in a Philadelphia 76ers uniform. Yes, he has a tendency to dominate the basketball in half-court sets - stifling the development of the players around him. Yes, his game doesn't mesh well with other stars - the Sixers have yet to find a player who complements his abilities. And yes, he isn't the most diligent player when it comes to practice. But Allen Iverson is one of the greatest players to have ever stepped onto a basketball court, and that alone should give the Sixers' front office pause when considering any potential deals.
And who could blame them? A previous regime made a similar mistake fourteen years ago, sending Charles Barkley to the Phoenix Suns for three players and a bag of magic beans. The only giant in that trade was Barkley, who led the Suns to the 1993 NBA Finals on the strength of his MVP season. The Sixers languished in mediocrity for several years following the deal until the arrival of an oft-misunderstood point guard from Georgetown University.
Ever since he was selected with the #1 overall pick in the 1996 NBA Draft, Iverson - who rolled into town with a low-cut fade, an infectious smile and a sick handle - has electrified basketball fans with his uncanny ability to get the rack, and his unquestioned desire to win.
Through the years, he's not only crossed over opponents on the court, but has done the same away from the game as well. Allen Iverson's fan base crosses all racial, ethnic and economic boundaries - a level of adoration reached by very few in the world of sports. The Answer has almost singularly made tattoos and do-rags fashionable while also making it OK for people in white collar professions to wear cornrows to work. Impressive feats, to say the least.
Fear of reprising the Barkley trade aside, one would think that the Sixers would be wary of trading AI for the simple fact that he remains a tremendous draw to this day. Shortly after Philadelphia drafted Jerry Stackhouse out of North Carolina in 1995, the soon-to-be completed Corestates Center (now known as the Wachovia Center), was referred to as "The House That Stack Built." But when Iverson arrived the following season, it would soon become "The House That AI Filled." The team's attendance figures increased every season from 1996-97 to 2001-02, and Iverson's jersey sales have consistently been at or near the top of the league's hottest sellers.
Ultimately, the Philadelphia 76ers are a business, and it doesn't take a person with an MBA to know that most organizations would be hesitant at the idea of shedding themselves of their leading source of revenue. Or, at least they should be.
My belief that AI would always remain a Sixer was challenged in 2000 when he was nearly the focal point of a four-team deal that would have resulted in Grant Hill coming to Philadelphia. The only thing that prevented the trade from going through was Matt Geiger's refusal to waive his 15 percent trade kicker. The near-trade led to a groundswell of support for Iverson, and disdain for the power brokers that had almost sent him away. Local sports talk radio shows were flooded with calls from Sixers' fans supporting their beloved 6-foot-nothin', 160-nothin' pound point guard. Coincidentally, the Sixers would make a magical run to the NBA Finals the following season, and for a while, everything was good. In those days, it was always sunny in Philadelphia.
But while the era of good feeling would soon come to an end - due in no small part to the love-hate relationship between Iverson and coach Larry Brown, culminating in the surreal "we talkin' 'bout practice" press conference - it was clear to everyone that despite his flaws, Allen Iverson was (and still is) the type of player that you build around. Everyone, it seems, except the people who actually make the decisions on matters such as these.
As such, my faith is being tested once again.
What makes it worse is that the Sixers haven't even bothered to make any attempts to disguise their plans. Being the team's franchise player for the past 10 years, Iverson deserves a far better fate than having to hear his name tossed around in trade rumors every summer.
I don't know - maybe I'm biased. Iverson is arguably the most talented Philadelphia athlete I've ever witnessed in his prime. I still get excited each time AI breaks down a defender at the top of the key. And to this day, I get emotional whenever I see the footage of Iverson - with the Lakers' Tyronn Lue draped over him - hitting that fall-away jumper in Game 1 of the 2001 NBA Finals, and emphatically stepping over the fallen Lue, putting an exclamation point on the Sixers' impending victory.
There's no maybe about it - I am biased. A stack of AI-related newspaper clippings occupies a prominent space in my closet. One photo shows former Sixers' president Pat Croce pinching the cheeks of his young superstar shortly after he was introduced to the local media. Another image is of the Sixers' point guard angrily loosening his tie after leaving court in 1997 following his hearing on charges of gun and marijuana possesion. And of course, there's the mug shot of a haggard Iverson upon turning himself in after allegedly throwing his wife out of the house.
Allen Iverson isn't perfect. None of us are. But much like Randall Cunningham, Eric Lindros and Charles Barkley before him, he has provided me with years of enjoyment, even though he's never been able to lead his team to the promised land. So while I'll be upset if he goes, I do understand that it's the nature of the business.
At this point, I almost don't care if the Sixers trade Iverson. Whether or not AI is playing in Philadelphia next season, Sixers' GM Billy King has managed the cap so poorly that the team can't get markedly better unless they unload some of their bad contracts. Chris Webber is on the books for more than $43 million over the next two years. Don't let his 20 and 10 averages from last season fool you - $43 million is an extraordinary amount of money to pay someone who - despite being 6'10" - not only shoots 43% from the floor, but who is also one of the slowest defenders in the league.
The biggest cap problem on the team - in more ways than one - is 6'11" center Samuel Dalembert. For the moment, let's ignore the fact that Dalembert has a reputation for not being receptive to instructions of his coaches. Let's merely look at his statistics and see that Billy King has committed to giving a player who has averaged approximately 8 points and 8 rebounds for each of the past three seasons $50 million over the next five years.
No... Allen Iverson isn't the problem. If anything, he's The Answer.
The Sixers are going to trade Allen Iverson.
In the press conference announcing the deal, someone will mention the incident from last season when he and Webber showed up late for Fan Appreciation Night - a game in which neither was expected to play. A few days later, an "unnamed source" will leak word to the media that Iverson's practice habits are just as bad now as they were under the Larry Brown regime. They'd even bring up the infamous bowling alley incident if they could. All of that is to say that the Sixers will attempt to spin it in a way to convince their fans that it was an even trade. And all of us will know that the deal is the most one-sided transaction since Manhattan was sold to the Dutch in 1626 for a bag full of trinkets.
But I've prepared myself for that moment. As a life-long Philadelphia sports fan, I've steeled myself against feelings of disappointment due to several lifetimes worth of heartaches, near misses and unfortunate endings. Quite frankly, the inevitable Iverson trade will just be another entry to add to the ledger. And when the news comes across on the wire, I'll smile... because I'll know that he's in a better place.
- The second autobiography of Terrell Eldorado Owens "accidentally" wound up on Wal-Mart store shelves yesterday afternoon. Far be it from me to assume that it was done intentionally to generate even more buzz for the self-titled tome. And although I'm a die-hard Eagles fan, I'm interested in reading the book just to see exactly how many Donovan McNabb digs T.O. can cram into 242 pages.
- Speaking of books - and piggybacking on CarolynT's recent post - here are some other quality sports reads marked with the crazydelicious Stamp of Approval:
- With all this good soccer going on in Germany, I completely forgot that the MLS is still in season. Now if I were the commissioner of said league, I'd... I don't know... take a break while the World Cup was going on. And then, while the few US futbol fans are just about to go into withdrawal after the Cup final, start up the season again. But that's just me.
- Names of randomness: Casey Jacobsen, David Nied, Carney Lansford, Leslie Shepherd, Steve Larmer, Alfred Pupunu
- "Some people call me a space cowboy.... some people call me the gangster of love": Maurice Clarett is slated to sign a contract to play for the Mahoning Valley Hitmen in the Eastern Indoor Football League. Karma is something, isn't it?
- The Broncos began a mandatory minicamp today sans WR Ashley Lelie. I'm not sure how a player can expect to move up the depth chart when he holds OUT of practice.
- EA Sports' NCAA 07 is coming out in less than two weeks. It is my lifelong mission to enlighten people to the simple fact that EA's college football game is FAR better than the yearly Madden offering. There's nothing like recruiting players and watching them grow in your program.
- Until two days ago, USC basketball had completely fallen off of the national radar. Then the word came out that the #1-rated HS player in the nation - all-everything point guard O.J. Mayo - would soon be verbally committing to Southern Cal. And if Mayo can convince his high school teammate Bill Walker (who just happens to the #2-rated player in the nation) to follow him to USC, the Trojans could be a legitimate Final Four contender. Ohio State's incoming "Thad Five" class is impressive, but grabbing the top two players in the 2007 class would be an incredible coup for Tim Floyd.
- I think people are making too much of this "Lebron hasn't said whether or not he'll accept the max offer from the Cavs" thing. Yeah, I know all of the other stars of that class have stated that they'll take the deal, but James can't even sign the thing until next week. Now if he hasn't signed it two months from now, then we have a problem. Or, at least, Cleveland has a problem.
- People will soon have to "respect the gangsta" of the Chicago Bulls. Not only do they have a nice young nucleus to build on, they have the option to swap 1st round picks with the New York Knicks next year as well. And we all know THAT will be a lottery pick.
- In the NBA's off-season, we get rumors of the Sixers possibly trading AI and the Wolves finally having thoughts of beginning the post-KG era. In the NHL, we get the Calgary Flames signing Alex Tanguay. It doesn't quite have the same effect.
- Francisco Liriano not making the AL All-Star team is a flat-out disgrace.
- Part of me is glad that the Phillies are pretty much out of the race before the All-Star break hits. Now I can take all of the energy that I was going to devote to them, and direct it towards something more productive. Writing, perhaps...
Once again... I do not endorse binge drinking. But the NBA Draft, much like the NFL Draft, follows an unwavering pattern of canned comments and predictable events that I find highly amusing. And since this draft class is relatively weak, I figured that I had to come up with some way to kick it up a notch. So on that note, I present to you... the Official NBA Draft Drinking Game.
One drink for each time:
- Someone's mother is shown crying - A player wearing a bad suit is selected - David Stern or Russ Granik completely butcher a player's name - Someone from your alma mater (or current school) is selected - The last player in the green room is shown on his cell phone, trying to hide his disappointment - Grainy, convenience store-quality video camera footage of a non-American player is shown - Any player forgets to put the requisite curve in his hat brim before putting it on - Jay Bilas (or anyone else on the broadcast) uses one of the following words "Long" "Explosive" "Wingspan" "Upside" "Motor" "Tweener" "Reach" "Unlimited range" "NBA-ready body" "Jumps out of the gym"
- Stephen A. Smith says any of the following (or a variation thereof): "That's horrible!" "That's terrible!" "However..." "Oh my goodness..."
- The Stephen A. Smith/Tim Legler ESPN Mobile commercial is shown.
Two drinks for each time:
- A foreign-born player uses a translator in the post-pick interview - There is a trade in the first-round (finish your drink if it involves either a lottery pick or your favorite team) - A player is selected and, instead of emerging from the green room, he comes straight out of the crowd - Someone compares Andrea Bargnani to Dirk Nowitzki - Someone compares Adam Morrison to Larry Bird - Someone compares Tyrus Thomas to Shawn Marion - #### Vitale raves about a Duke player - #### Vitale rips a team who takes a foreign-born player over an American player (finish your drink if he says: "That is a joke. That is an absolute joke.")
Finish your drink if:
- A "Fire Thomas" chant breaks out - Stephen A. Smith mentions Scott Layden - A player is drafted and there is no video footage whatsoever - The last player in the green room begins to cry - Adam Morrison begins to cry - A clip package that highlights the worst suits in draft night history is shown - Someone who is at least seven feet tall pats David Stern on the top of the head
(This installment of The Baker's Dozen is dedicated to my boy Clint "Deuce" Dempsey for scoring the only U.S. goal of the World Cup.)
- In a game where all they needed was a W over a team that was ranked 48th in the world, the U.S. came up ridiculously small. Bruce Arena - you might want to clean out your office, my friend.
- We're not very good at soccer. Our hockey team underachieves. We even get smacked around in baseball and basketball, and we invented those games. Is there anything the United States dominates on an international level? Besides snowboarding?
- Actually, I think soccer would catch on here if the World Cup groupings and tiebreakers weren't so confusing. Forget the pool play nonsense and just seed everyone like the NCAA men's basketball tournament. Brackets = ratings.
- It's nice to see that Ronaldo was able to put down the bratwurst long enough to score a couple of goals in the World Cup.
- Speaking of Brazil, they have the best-looking fans in the history of all mankind. Disagree? I give you Exhibit A. And as Dave Chappelle would say: Game... blouses.
- OK, so there's a messy divorce involving an All-Pro defensive end either doing or being accused of the following things: infidelity with members of both sexes, sleeping on another man's couch for the better part of a year, keeping a journal of his liaisons with his wife, and forgetting the birthday of said wife and twin daughters. Surprisingly enough, it's only the second biggest breakup going on in the city of New York. Michael Strahan is thanking James Dolan right about now.
- Josh Howard only made $873,880 this past season. Conversely, Keith Van Horn cashed checks worth $15,694,250 during the same time period. If you're KVH, at what point does your conscience get to you? Instead of the tell-tale heart, it should be "The Tell-Tale Wallet."
- If you don't understand the "Sheriff Ghana Get You" title, click here.
- Tracy McGrady played in 47 games last season, yet he gets the cover of NBA Live 2007. I can't explain it. But D-Wade was on the cover last year, and I heard he had a decent season. So maybe there's a reverse Madden curse at work...
- At first, I thought Ozzie Guillen's comments were offensive, but when he mentioned that he attends WNBA games, that makes everything OK.
- Names of randomness: Duffy Waldorf, Tony Meola, Jason Garrett, Michael "The Juiceman" Cage, Ron Karkovice, Ilkka Sinisalo.
- So... are the Cincinnati Bengals the NFL's version of the Portland Jailblazers?
- All have shown the ability to take over a game, with Bryant and Wade doing it on the biggest stage of them all.
- All posess remarkable body control and are excellent finishers around the basket.
- Wade clearly makes his teammates better. LeBron, not quite so much. But Kobe will never be mistaken for one who "plays well with others."
- Of the three, Kobe is the best defender, LeBron is the most physical, and D-Wade is the fastest.
- LeBron's court vision is incredible for a man of his size, Bryant is an explosive scorer, and Dwyane's recent exploits have many conjuring up the name of the newest minority owner of the Charlotte Bobcats.
- Kobe will be 28 in two months, Wade is 24, and James is 21. With age comes experience: while LeBron and Dwyane have just completed their third seasons in the NBA, Bryant is already a 10-year veteran. - Kobe has 3 NBA titles, Wade just captured his first, while LeBron has yet to led his Cavs to the Eastern Conference Finals.
It's not an easy call by any stretch of the imagination, but regardless of the choice, it's impossible to make a mistake. Not even Isiah Thomas could mess this up. Personally, I'd go with LeBron James for two specific reasons.
For starters, he's the youngest of the three. It's amazing to think of it in these terms, but as good as James is right now, he may very well be six or seven years away from his prime. Barring injury, LBJ will be an incredibly productive player for the next 15 years.
Secondly, he's the most physically imposing member of the group. Everyone falls in love with guards, but make no mistake - the NBA is a big man's league. 14 of the last 16 NBA champions have been led by a player who is at least 6'6" or taller - the only exceptions are this year's Heat squad and the 2004 Detroit Pistons who rode the team concept to the Larry O'Brien trophy. And if I have the choice between a 6-4 guy, a 6-6 guy, and a 6-8 guy, all of whom are all-world talents, I'll take the biggest player every single time.
This is just one man's opinion, however. Kobe, LeBron or Dwyane - you make the call...
I had planned to start a semi-regular post on all things sports, and now that I have been kicked off the island, I have plently of time to do just that. As such, I'd like to dedicate this first edition of The Baker's Dozen to a few post-NGS2 thoughts...
- Special thanks goes out to my two editors: without you, I wouldn't have made it this far.
- Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't thank everyone out there who read crazydelicious and voted throughout the competition. HiPlains and MooreSports have been the judges' favorites since well before the finalists were announced. The fact that two relative unknowns such as Josh and myself were able to hang with them for so long speaks to the power of the voting public.
- Thanks to Dime Magazine for that 81 cent subscription offer you had a while back. I wanted to mention this earlier, but I didn't want to be seen as trying to curry favor with the judges. It's the best sub $1 subscription I've ever had, even better than the deal for the free year of GolfWeek I found online.
- Congratulations to all of the finalists: I think we represented well.
- When I got the e-mail saying that my run was done, I think I pushed my keyboard farther than Dirk Nowitzki pushed that exercise bike after losing Game 5.
- FoxSports easily could have picked 32 finalists. There are a number of writers whose work doesn't get the credit/exposure it deserves. Speaking of which...
- Now that I'm out, I have more free time to post about all those athletes that don't get enough shine, in my opinion: Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje, Kevin Maas, Dan McGwire, Tim Cheveldae and Rich Beem.
- This is the first week I get to vote on a blog other than mine. I guess I could have voted all along, but personally, I couldn't give the other finalists bad ratings when their work is better than that. I respect them and the competition far too much to go around giving people one star, even if it means the difference between winning and losing.
- I finally have time to go to the gym again. Too much snacking at the computer while working on assignments has turned me into the sportswriting version of Ronaldo.
- After nearly two solid months of blogging, I still only have a vague idea of what the judges want. In the past three weeks, they've given the following critiques to my submissions (in order): "too funny", "too long", and "too much Hasselhoff." I can deal with the first two, but "too much Hasselhoff" is like saying there's too much beer in the refrigerator - it's just not possible.
- Despite the incessant advertising, I've still never had a ####y Chicken Sandwich from McDonald's. I'm more of a McRib fan, actually. But let's not forget - the McDLT remains the greatest sandwich in the McDonald's pantheon.
- I'm funnier than that Fox_Funhouse blog. I tick off less people than Elizabeth Bennett. So who do I need to pay in order to be the three featured/popular blogs of the day? I think I may have been the only finalist not to make it on there. So for anyone out there who wants one of those spots, do the exact opposite of what I did, and you're golden.
- All in all, it's been an incredibly rewarding experience. I hope to continue to build on the relationships I've made these past few weeks - this is a very talented community and I'm pleased to be a part of it.
The Larry O'Brien trophy was being polished, Dallas city officials had finished planning the parade route, and Kobe Bryant had already ordered a case of Moet from his local wine and spirits store.
Down 13 points with 6:34 left in the 4th quarter, many believed that it would take no less than a superhuman effort to save the Miami Heat from an insurmountable 3-0 deficit in the NBA Finals.
Make that, a superhero's effort.
Mild-mannered Dwyane Wade - Sean John model by day, all-world shooting guard by night - completely dominated the final six-and-a-half minutes of last night's contest, leading the Heat to a 98-96 win over the Dallas Mavericks in Game 3 of the NBA Finals. The man who is affectionately known as "Flash" finished with 42 points, becoming the youngest player to drop 40-plus in an NBA Finals game since Magic Johnson in 1980.
"He just rises to the occasion," said Heat coach Pat Riley, following the game. "You just couldn't stop him."
Of course not, especially on a stage such as this. The NBA Finals has historically been a place where stars are born, legends are made, and superheroes do exactly what we expect them to do. Take the big shots, make a statement on defense and dominate every facet of the game. Last night, Wade did all of that and more.
Despite drawing his fifth foul with 10:56 left in the game, Wade played the fourth quarter with reckless abandon. A jumper with just over six minutes to go cut the Mavs' lead to 11. A three-point play 40 seconds later made it an eight-point margin. The comeback was in full swing.
Wade brought the Heat to within three with 3:36 left in the fourth quarter. After Dallas' Dirk Nowitzki knocked down a pair of free throws, it was time for another superhero to make his presence felt.
Shaquille O'Neal, an imposing figure who refers to himself as "The Big Aristotle", had previously pulled The Big Disappearing Act in the two games in Big D. But even Superman knew that he needed to come up big at the end of Game 3. After he was fouled by Erick Dampier with just under two minutes left in the game, Shaq, who had gone 2-for-16 from the charity stripe in Games 1 and 2, channeled his inner Calvin Murphy and calmly knocked down two free throws. The Miami crowd responded in kind.
This series of events was in sharp contrast to a third quarter in which the Mavericks outscored the Heat 34-16, turning a 52-43 halftime deficit into a nine-point lead heading into the fourth. Dallas shot 70 percent in the third quarter, led by Nowitzki, who finished the game with 30 points on 9-for-20 shooting. Mavericks' forward Josh Howard had a stellar performance as well, chipping in 21 points in his best game of the series. When all was said and done, however, the Mavs wound up on the wrong side of the ledger.
Not to be discounted in the Heat comeback is the play of Udonis Haslem, who collected 8 points and pulled down 13 boards in 34 gritty minutes. But there's no question that the night belonged to The Flash. Yet despite Wade's heroics, the game-winning shot came from a Finals veteran who had scored only one basket in this year's series.
These days, the Glove fits more like a mitten - Gary Payton no longer has the Doberman-like intensity he used to possess on the defensive end of the court. But when crunch time rolls around, ice water still flows in the veins of the Heat's 37-year-old point guard. With the score tied and less than 10 seconds to go, Payton's 20-footer that gave Miami a 98-96 lead seemed to be the coup de grace.
One small problem: the villains weren't quite dead yet.
Nowitzki was fouled by Haslem on a drive to the basket with 1.4 seconds left, giving the 90 percent free-throw shooter a chance to tie the game. The German-born forward - with strains of David Hasselhoff's "Looking For Freedom" running through his head - inexplicably missed the second free throw, and the rebound was corralled by Dwyane Wade, his 13th rebound of the game. After Wade was fouled and split two free throws of his own, Dallas had a chance to either tie or win the game on an inbounds play with one second left. Once again, the Flash was heroic, knocking away an alley-oop attempt by Howard as the buzzer sounded.
Last night was the first time in 26 games this year (including the playoffs) that Dallas had lost despite Howard going off for 20 points or more. Now, instead of holding a commanding 3-0 series lead, the Mavs' only have a 2-1 advantange, with the next two games in south Florida. The 2006 NBA Finals is a series once again, thanks to a league of extraordinary gentlemen who never lost sight of their goal.
"We don't like to lose but again give the Heat some credit," Dallas coach Avery Johnson said. "They made some nice adjustments. They played hard. They didn't quit."
It's happening all around us, yet many are still blind to the fact. You can't find it on any calendar, although it should be formally recognized in some fashion. It's not a single event per se, but more like the dawn of a new day.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen - fantasy football season is upon us once again.
As you're reading this, the first fantasy guides are hitting shelves at a bookstore near you. Mock drafts are available all over the Internet. Even the sports shows are running the occasional piece on fantasy sleepers and studs. For diehards such as myself, it doesn't get much better than this.
I'm married to this game they call fantasy football. I started playing during my high school days, settling down in homeroom with the Monday edition of the Philadelphia Daily News and calculating the scores by hand. At some point after that, Al Gore invented the Internet and the various online leagues kept the stats automatically. My friends and I have since graduated to the Web sites with the slick interfaces and live stat-tracking. But since we're scattered throughout North America, we've never been able to get together in a single room for a draft.
The ultimate plan is for us to meet up in Vegas one late August weekend, rent out one of those high-roller suites in the MGM Grand, hook the laptop up to the TV and project our picks onto the plasma screen. After which, we'll lose ourselves in a Red Bull-and-vodka-induced haze as we make our way across The Strip for a late-night Fatburger run. But that's a few years off. There are more pressing matters at hand, namely, this year's draft.
When it comes to fantasy football, I'm that guy. You know who I'm talking about. Every league has a guy who not only groups the players at each position into separate tiers, but also charts it out in a color-coded Excel spreadsheet. The guy who does more pre-draft research than anyone else, yet still winds up frantically searching through one of the three fantasy football magazines lying in front of him when it's his turn to pick. A guy who talks more trash than anyone on the league's message board, yet consistently finishes out of the money. Yeah... that's me.
According to an MSN/FoxSports press release from last summer, about 12 million Americans participate in fantasy football leagues. If you were to rank those 12 million in terms of skill level, I would probably come in at about the 11 million mark. To be honest, I'm probably overstating the case somewhat - last year, I actually won a Yahoo! public league for the first time ever. But in my primary league, with actual money on the table, I come up smaller than Nick Anderson in the '95 Finals. But I still do it anyway.
There's something about a draft - whether it be the NBA draft, a fantasy draft, or draft beer - that appeals to the inner player personnel director in all of us. Nearly everyone has second-guessed a draft pick of their favorite team at one point or another. Most sports fans have sat around a bar and concocted wild trade scenarios that actual general managers would never agree to. A good number have even called/written/accosted the GM of their local team and asked why he didn't sign a particular free agent.
While the majority of us haven't been blessed with superior athletic ability, every sports fan has an opinion on whether or not one player is better than another. But you know what they say about opinions - everybody has one. And all of us are geniuses until the games start...
*****
Last year, I was the Elgin Baylor of fantasy football. My #1 RB was Deuce McAllister. My starting WRs were Andre Johnson and Darrell Jackson. My QBs were Aaron Brooks and Brian Griese. In case you were wondering, our draft occurred AFTER Hurricane Katrina - I actually defended the McAllister and Brooks picks by saying that the Saints would rally together in the midst of the crisis.
Needless to say, I only won four games.
A 4-9 record last year means the second selection in my league's draft this year. Which poses a dilemma. Which member of the beastly RB triumvirate do I take with that #2 pick? Larry Johnson is ridiculously good, but he has a new coach with a new offensive philosophy. Shaun Alexander set the NFL single-season TD record last year, but one would think that losing a Pro Bowl guard in Steve Hutchinson would mean a hit to his numbers. LaDainian Tomlinson is a do-everything back, but with Philip Rivers under center, defenses could very well stack the box against LT.
Truth be told, I probably shouldn't be fretting all that much over which stud RB to take at that spot. But there are decisions like that all over the board this season. Is Carson Palmer going to be 100% going into the season? Is Mike Shanahan going to pick one running back and stick with him for an entire year? Is Adam Vinatieri even more automatic now that he plays in a dome? And how many games will T.O. get through before he starts doing bicep curls on his front lawn?
These are just some of the issues that will cause millions of aspiring GM much distress as they're pressed to make their picks come draft day. And they'll love every minute of it.
There's no mistake about it - if you're a fantasy football player, life as you know it is now over.
Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me; Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me What a long, strange trip it's been.
-- "Truckin'", The Grateful Dead
The NBA Finals begin tonight, but the first step on the road to basketball's most coveted prize was taken long before the first ball was rolled out in training camp. As recently as last July, Pat Riley was still the president of the Miami Heat, the Mavericks' Avery Johnson was only 31 games into his coaching career, and Antoine Walker had yet to bring his shimmy to South Beach. It almost goes without saying, but much has changed in the past 12 months.
After nearly 200 games and countless hours of practice, the year-long journey of two teams making their first-ever NBA Finals appearances is a story unto itself. Two stories, to be exact.
Don't believe the hype. This is not about vindication. And it is definitely not about cementing his already storied legacy as an NBA coach.
At the age of 60, Pat Riley merely got the itch to coach basketball again. The allure of leading a team that boasts both Shaquille O'Neal and Dwyane Wade was too much for Riley to pass up. Even now, the competitive fire still burns inside a man who has already won more NBA titles than all but two men who have ever picked up a whistle.
Believe the stories about Stan Van Gundy stepping down to spend more time with his family all you want. If that were the case, then why has the Heat front office imposed a gag order on its deposed coach?
Why would Riley - three months before the season - remake the team in his own image? In August, the Heat were the focal point of a three-team, 13-player deal that netted it two playoff-tested guards (Gary Payton and Jason Williams), a complementary scorer (Antoine Walker) and a talented swingman (James Posey). History will also show that this was not the first time Riles took over the reins of a team primed for a run at the Finals.
Make no mistake: Riley's return to the sidelines was a calculated maneuver, and nearly flawless in its execution. To take it a step further, if the Heat had not made a coaching change in December, a different team would probably be representing the Eastern Conference in the NBA Finals. All due respect to Van Gundy, but there is a certain unalienable truth that governs today's NBA landscape.
Players respect success. Or, to borrow a streetball phrase, "game recognize game."
If the players don't believe that their coach knows what it takes to reach the mountaintop, then how much will they buy in to his philosophy? That alone explains why the Kobe/Shaq marriage didn't flourish until Phil Jackson brought his six rings to Hollywood. It is the reason that the Pistons endured Larry Brown's "play the right way" coachspeak for two seasons, and the same reason Flip Saunders' words fell on deaf ears in this year's playoffs.
Simply put, Stan Van Gundy was the grad assistant whose class you didn't feel guilty skipping. Pat Riley is the tenure-track professor who also happens to be your faculty advisor. And when your faculty advisor talks, you don't just listen, you take notes.
The numbers tell the story. With Shaq out of the lineup for 18 of the Heat's first 21 games, Van Gundy guided the Heat to an 11-10 mark. Pat Riley took over at that point, and the team would win 41 of their final 61 contests.
The upgrade has been so dramatic that it led O'Neal to state recently that Riley is the best coach he has ever played for. Four games short of the NBA championship, Shaq is giving Riles more respect than a coach who personally led him to three NBA titles.
Game recognize game.
15 months ago, Avery Johnson was handed the keys to an offense-driven, defense-optional Mavericks' unit that had consistently wound up on the doorstep of the NBA Finals. At the time, departing head coach Don Nelson merely stated that the team responded better to Johnson, who had previously filled in for Nelson on several occasions. That may have been the case, but the barely existent coaching resume of Johnson gave skeptics plenty of fodder for their argument that the Mavericks' assistant wasn't quite ready for prime time.
In the weeks and months that have followed, Johnson - an energetic soul with an unmistakeable Louisiana twang - has proven to be more than capable of leading his recently adopted charges to the promised land.
Since taking over at the end of the 2004-05 season, Johnson has compiled a 94-36 record (including the playoffs), while at the same time imposing his will upon the team. Johnson was a fiery, scrappy point guard for 16 seasons in the NBA, and he has infected the Dallas roster with that same attitude.
Under Nelson, offense was the order of the day. The 2003-04 iteration of the Mavericks - a group that included Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Michael Finley, Antwan Jamison and Antoine Walker - averaged more than 112 points per game. The Mavs' frenetic pace excited the team's fans, including "everyman" owner Mark Cuban. But while scoring 112 points per game is sexy, giving up nearly that many on the defensive end is going to catch up to you. And each year, it caught up to the Mavericks well short of the NBA Finals.
Enter Avery Johnson.
Contest shots. Rebound. Deny the basketball. These are just some of the tenets of Johnson's philosophy. In one year, he took a team that had previously seemed allergic to playing defense and molded them into a solid unit.
Under Johnson, who received the 2005-06 NBA Coach of the Year award, the Mavericks have kicked their intensity up a few notches on the defensive end. Last season, Dallas allowed nearly 107 points per game in the playoffs - this year, they have reduced that to slightly less than 97 points per contest. While the Mavs will never be mistaken for the Pistons of the Bad Boy era, the team has made a noticeable improvement on defense.
The offense has not missed a beat, either. Dallas led the league in scoring with 112 points per game. This, despite the fact that four of the top eight players in the rotation missed significant time this year because of injuries (Jerry Stackhouse, Josh Howard, Devin Harris and Marquis Daniels).
Typically, it takes time for a team to buy into a coach's vision. But the Mavericks players not only bought into Johnson's concepts, they asked for a second helping. It was clear to anyone paying attention - the one thing the Dallas Mavericks were lacking was toughness. Avery Johnson has provided that in ####s.
Tonight, the Mavericks sit four wins away from an NBA title. Four wins away from Johnson erasing all of the doubts that he was not ready to be a head coach. If that happens, a celebration is sure to follow. Even the non-believers are invited.
While the Mavericks are actually favored, it seems as though they are the forgotten team in this series. That's the price you pay when the other team boasts two larger-than-life figures in Riley and O'Neal. Honestly, Dallas is pretty much an afterthought in its own city due to the recent arrival of a tempermental wide receiver who has a penchant for destroying football teams. Yet, when looking at it objectively, the Heat and the Mavericks are not all that different.
Even with a handful of rings from his days of coaching the Lakers, Pat Riley isn't markedly better than Avery Johnson. The Mavericks are not going to shut down Wade and O'Neal, just like the Heat are not going to hold Nowitzki in check for an entire series. The great players will get theirs - they always do.
As with most NBA Finals, the superstars will receive all of the accolades, while the role players will actually define who wins and who loses. Yet regardless of what team hoists the Larry O'Brien trophy at the conclusion of the series, you can't help but realize what a long, strange trip it has been.
The Big Hurt. The Crime Dog. The Glove. Prime Time. Just some of the nicknames that helped shape my formative years. Aliases of athletes that I attempted to mimic on the streets and playgrounds of West Philadelphia.
Make no mistake: these names aren't cute Bermanisms spouted in the midst of a SportsCenter highlight - these are handles that defined superstars for the better part o####eneration.
Which is why it bothers me that people are getting lazy with the nicknames these days. Some of the greatest athletes of this era are referred to as D-Wade, T-Mac and A-Rod. Or LT, TO and AI. Anyone can take elements of a name and mash them together - the best nicknames characterize who you are.
Two of the best nicknames of the '90s came from the Pacific Northwest. Shawn Kemp spent eight years igniting the Seattle crowd with his thunderous dunks as the de facto leader of the Sonics - calling him the "Reignman" was a stroke of unadulterated genius. 16 years after his major league debut, Ken Griffey, Jr. continues to display that youthful exuberance of "The Kid", which I guess makes him the oldest kid in the history of mankind.
Griffey reminds me of another point: the good nicknames have that stickiness factor. Jevon Kearse will now and forever be known as "The Freak" - a tag that goes back to his days at the University of Florida. Ray Allen is permanently married to the "Jesus Shuttlesworth" moniker due to his turn in Spike Lee's He Got Game. And if I ever happen to run into Hakeem Olajuwon on the street, please believe that I will refer to him as "Dream" incessantly.
When it comes to aliases, TNT's Kenny Smith doesn't quite get the credit he deserves for handing out quality tags. He anointed Shawn Marion "The Matrix" for his gravity-defying abilities. Smith also dubbed Vince Carter "Air Canada", which is an incredible nickname, but should probably be decommissioned because: A) Vince no longer plays north of the border and B) he really isn't worthy of a witty moniker.
Which brings me to the next rule: you should be able to lose your nickname due to your poor play/attitude. And on the flip side, you have to put in work to earn one as well. If Rudy #### showed any kind of consistency, then he'd be perfect for a name like "The Prototype." We'll have to wait and see on that one.
Finally, athletes don't get to pick their own nicknames - it just doesn't work like that. Darius Miles: I don't care how many license plates you want to put "Takeover23" on - you need to take over a box score first before you get to be called anything other than "D-Miles." Worst of all is Kobe's "Black Mamba" - I love Kobe's game, but I have a slight problem with a player who grew up in Italy and Lower Merion, PA naming himself after a venomous snake. Even if he did happen to kill the Lakers.
I'm not a soothsayer, nor did I ever play one on TV. I didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. But I have come up with what I think is a pretty accurate forecast of what's on the not-so-distant horizon in the world of sports. I can't explain it - it's kind of like that late '90s CBS show Early Edition, except that my newspaper only comes with the sports section. With that being said, I present to you... the best of what's to come.
June 6, 2006: Brown... Out The Larry Brown saga comes to an end when the oft-criticized coach accepts a $30 millon buyout from Knicks' owner James Dolan. When hearing the news of Brown's departure, Stephon Marbury reaffirms his pledge to play like "Starbury" during the upcoming season. At the press conference announcing the buyout, team president Isiah Thomas assumes the role of "interim" coach. In response to reporters' questions about whether or not he will be able to handle the duties of both coach and president, Thomas tells the assembled media that "it's crazy enough that it just might work." June 8, 2006: Even The Nielsens Aren't Watching According to the overnight Nielsen ratings, the second game of the Stanley Cup Finals on OLN is watched by a mere 1.5 million viewers. Coincidentally, that happens to be the exact number of people who, during that same timeslot, tune in to watch Beavis and Butthead Do America on MTV2. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman blames the poor ratings on the summer movie season, saying: "It's unfortunate, but many of our normal viewers are out watching X-Men 3 when our playoff games are on. Everybody should relax. It's going to be fine."
June 21, 2006: Don Dada, Indeed Shaquille O'Neal and Dwyane Wade help the Heat capture the NBA title for the first time in franchise history. Despite a heat index in the upper 90s, Shaq wears a baby blue sweater vest to the team's victory celebration - a not-so-subtle dig at Kobe Bryant's attire on a recent edition of TNT's Inside the NBA.
June 28, 2006: The Cedric Benson of the NBA Gonzaga's Adam Morrison is selected by the Portland Trailblazers with the #4 pick in the 2006 NBA Draft. The excitement of draft day combined with the disappointment of having to play for Portland causes Morrison to have an emotional breakdown on national television. Upon watching the newest Trailblazer's reaction, ESPN's Jay Bilas praises Morrison's intangibles. "You can't coach that," Bilas says. "Adam Morrison is long... on emotion."
October 1, 2006: The Summer of 69 Despite hitting 14 homeruns in the month of September, Cardinals' first baseman Albert Pujols comes up four HRs short of equaling Barry Bonds' mark of 73 set in 2001. Jason Darrow catches home run ball #69, and promptly sells it to Todd MacFarlane (the creator of Spawn) for $2.5 million. The Wachowski Brothers option the movie rights to the Albert Pujols story, but plans for Pujols on Pujols are put on indefinite hiatus.
February 4, 2007: T.O. - Super Bowl XLI MVP In his first season in Big D, Terrell Owens racks up 124 yards and scores two touchdowns in the Dallas Cowboys' 34-16 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLI. During the trophy presentation, Owens - who was named MVP of the game - takes the opportunity to talk about his favorite subject: himself. "Like Joanie loves Chachi, and Vito loved his Johnny Cakes, I love me some me!" Following the post-game press conference, ESPN analyst Michael Irvin volunteers to accompany Owens to Disney World.
February 5, 2007: Just Bury The Hatchet... In His Back In an television interview with Comcast Sportsnet, Donovan McNabb compares the Cowboys' Super Bowl win to black-on-black crime.
May 27, 2007: The Rocket Is Grounded After months of speculation, Roger Clemens officially announces his retirement from baseball. Shortly thereafter, Clemens and his agent begin talks with VH1 to appear on the seventh season of The Surreal Life. Negotiations quickly fall through when the former Astro demands a $22 million appearance fee, an actual rocket ship, and written assurance that his son Koby will be able to visit the house whenever he pleases.
October 29, 2007: A-Rod is May-Rod No Longer Alex Rodriguez silences the critics with a stellar postseason performance, culminating in a World Series in which he bats .514 with 3 HRs and 8 RBI. Despite A-Rod's heroics, the Yankees would lose the 2007 World Series in six games to the St. Louis Cardinals. Yankees' owner George Steinbrenner blames Rodriguez for not only the Yankees' loss, but for rising gas prices, global warming and the disappointing series' finale of The Sopranos.
December 30, 2007: LJ Is An Angry Record Holder In the
The Big Hurt. The Crime Dog. The Glove. Prime Time. Just some of the nicknames that helped shape my formative years. Aliases of athletes that I attempted to mimic on the streets and playgrounds of West Philadelphia.
