I believed Marion Jones.

I really truly did.

Now I wonder why now?

The guilt must have really been heavy on her conscience for her to confess. I rooted for her to get those five gold medals and watched every competition that summer and I wouldn't change a thing. But I am starting to wonder is she came in third on purpose for two of those competitions, although I recall her looking exhausted from extending herself. Steroids are good, but not that good.

I'm not really sure how I feel about steroids.

In third grade, we had an assignment to find an article in the newspaper and give a report on it the next day. My parents helped me choose an article about Ben Johnson who won the gold medal in the 1988 but tested postive for steroids. His gold medal was eventually awarded to Carl Lewis who came in second.

That was my first encounter with steroids in sports. I had no clue what they were or what they did before then.

That's why I laughed every time a reporter asked Little Billy about Barry Bonds and they would respond "He should have an asterisk!" then he would look up his father with the 'did I say it right' look on his face.

In the 12th grade, I participated in a mock trial competition and portrayed a high school track coach accused of giving the star runner steroids. The runner eventually suffered from "roid rage" and injured herself to the point she could no longer run. It was this experience that really gave me insight on what steroids were really all about.

Originally the topic of steroids was less complex in my mind. It was flat out cheating. During the mock trial and what eventually led my school to the citywide semi finals was that fact that steroid usage in competitive sports is not so simple.

Any athlete that will subject their body to steroids is desperate. The advantages of steroids, especially when used by an already talented individual are endless. The combination leads to glory, but often that glory is short lived and as Marion Jones spelled out in her letter, riddled with eventual guilt.

I think about the regimens that most athletes have and wonder how they make it without enhancement drugs or supplements - both legal and illegal.

Steroids can give you that much needed edge to sustain workouts. So instead of 2 hours you can go for 4 hours. It won't make you run faster if you dont already run fast. It won't make you a better hitter if you are a below average hitter. You already have to be good at what you do. But instead of crashing, you keep going.

Again, I'm not really sure how I feel about steroids.

Do I think Marion Jones should have confessed? Honestly, she should have made them prove it instead of admitting it. She already said she didn't use steroids during the 2000 Olympics, now she admits to starting in 1999. Her ex-husband, CJ Hunter, who she was married to at the the time was a admitted steroid user.

But everyone thought Marion was clean. Then there were other things she admitted to lying about including her involvement in a check fraud scam. This admission threw me for a loop, but I wasn't surprised. Usually where there's smoke, there's fire.

Telling the truth is always the right thing to do, but it seems you get crucified more for it.

Do I think Barry Bonds should have an asterisk by his record? Not if Mark McGwire doesn't.

I find it impossible to believe that Bonds is the only one.

My whole thing is prove it.

You still have to see the ball to hit it and steroids have nothing to do with hand-eye coordination. It may be more power behind the ball, but you still have to hit it. Feel me?

I don't care how big your muscles are, you still have to hit the ball.

There is nothing pure about sports anymore.

Whenever money and competition is involved, there is no more purity. Even Little League gets pimped. Damn, spelling bees get pimped.

I'm not saying you can't enjoy sports for the moment and the intent, just know its more than a game if you bother to let your mind even wander and take you there. Some people choose to remain in the dark even when the light is shining dead in their face.

The truth shall set you free!

Competition is just one hell of a drug.