Like 99% of the sports fans in America living outside of Boston, I have been gagging all year long on the mountain of superlatives heaped on the 2007 New England Patriots.  "The Greatest Team in History; the Greatest Offensive Juggernaut of All Time; Tom Brady-the greatest Quarterback in NFL History etc."-every week another passel of glowing paens to the Cheaters from Beantown.  It seemed we would never get relief.

Of course, all of these speculative exercises in compartive sports history were merely subjective -perhaps fun to entertain, especially if you are a Chowderhead. Well, at least now we have a proven superlative that fits: Grass-stained Tom Brady and the high powered offensive machine that scored a whopping 14 points in the biggest game of their lives have proven themselves to be the biggest choke artists in the history of sports.    Goliath was a slim favorite over David compared to the edge given to the Pats prior to kick-off.   Secretariat went off at shorter odds than the tight-collared fold-ups from New England.   Kobiyashi squaring off against the Olson Twins in a hot dog eating contest would be a less prohibitive favorite.

Yet they appled it up.  Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.  Even here in February, the Giants have given sports fans the gift that will keep on giving throughout sports history.  Mighty Brady has struck out.  Darth Belichick has been slain by Eli Skywalker.  Who woulda thunk it?

The 1972 Miami Dolphins finally got to uncork that champagne, and I imagine this is the sweetest their toast has ever tasted.   Despite the fact that those '72 Dolphins remain the only undefeated team in modern NFL history, no one ever thought to hail them as "The Greatest Team in History."  And for good reason.  While Shula's team was a great team, going unbeaten in any given NFL season requires a dicey combination of scheduling, luck and consistent performance.   Those 1972 Dolphins had all three and sit alone in the record books.

 There are a number of other great teams deserving consideration as the Greatest of All Time, including the 1985 Bears with their lone loss, Lombardi's Packers of Super Bowl I & II, and various Steeler, Cowboy and 49er Super Bowl Champs. They have one thing in common that allows them to be in the running:  they won their Super Bowl to cap a magnificent season.

 These Patriot  Pretenders to greatness ultimately couldn't finish the job.  Like George H.W.Bush vs. Saddam Hussein in the first Gulf War;  like Mike Tyson against Buster Douglas;  like the Russian National Hockey Team vs. Team U.S. A.  in the 1980 Olympic Games, the Belichicks got tossed into the dust-bin of NFL history by a valiant, and certain to be beloved New York Giants cadre of scrappy underdogs.

God Bless them every one.

As the NFL gears up for the divisional championships, its time for a brief  and embellished look at the week in sports:

The New England Patriots, released their new team slogan, "Resident Evil" to the media today along with the announcement that they have acquired the rights to the Titan's Pacman Jones.  A spokesman for the Pats announced:  "We feel we are the 21st century version of the Oakland Raiders.  The acquisition of Randy Moss has been so successful that we are expanding our free agent search.  Send us your cast-offs, troublemakers and miscreants. " Informed sources reveal that Bill Belichick has representatives negotiating with the parole board at Leavenworth in order to secure an early release for Michael Vick.  Rumor has it Belichick has lawyers working with agents for Rae Carruth as well.

Looks like those Dallas Cowboys fans, fearing that celebrity airhead Jessica Simpson would bring bad luck to the Cowboys games, were right on the money.  America's Team supporters now refer to Ms. Simpson as Yoko Romo.

T.O.'s blubbering performance post-game in Dallas continues to demonstrate the wacky wide receiver's emotional stablity.  Who does he think he is, Hillary Clinton?

 The San Francisco 49er's, in a desperate move to acquire the 1st draft pick in the 2009 NFL draft,  hired Mike Martz as offensive co-ordinator.   Despite the fact that Martz's work for the Detroit Lions as co-ordinator left them trailing the almost perfectly inept Miami Dolphins for the 2008 premier selection, the 49er's braintrust felt they didn't need to drop much further to secure the rights to Tim Tebow. 

Roger Clemens continues his relentless pursuit of the title Most Hated Man in Sports.   The sputtering Rocket's inarticulate bullying and preposterous legal maneuvering continue to reveal the fact that no one in America ever really liked him much anyway.

Volunteer media punching bag, Isiah Thomas remains on Clemens' heals, with a surgically precise evisceration of the once proud New York Knicks basketball franchise.  As of today, the Knicks have a .265 winning percentage.  The Knicks are horrible on the court, pounded in the press and they are handing out lawsuit money like Mike Tyson at a car dealership.  Are there any adults left in charge in the Knicks' front office? 

In a surprise announcement, Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy will be retiring and will join Dancing with the Stars.  The 2008 fall lineup includes a number of figures from professional sports including Yao Ming of the Houston Rockets, Butterbean of professional boxing fame and tennis star Martina Navratilova.  Producers aren't quite sure who they will partner up with Navratilova, but are working on the details.

The spector of drug use now haunts the world of golf, as the ReMax World's Long Driving Championship came to a close on Christmas day.  It seems Mike Dobbyn's 385 yard poke was bested by Seniors divsion winner, Frank Miller.  Miller's drive was measured at 394 yards.  When tour officials were asked if it was believed steriods were being used, they replied: "No, we think it was Viagra."

Congratulations are in order for the recently engaged Greg "Shark" Norman and tennis champion, Chris Evert.   Chris was seen sporting a 5 carat engagement ring.  As expected, publicity hungry athletes have forged a number of copy-cat engagements in order to get their names back in the news.  Word has it John Daly and Tonya Harding are hooking up. They sealed their engagement with a beer can pull-tab serving as the ring. 

More smooth moves from "Miguel" Simpson, better known as O.J. to most of us, as the Juice put the squeeze on one of his co-defendants in a prohibited phone call.  Clearly in violation of his probationary requirement to not make contact with his co-defendants, O.J. was brought in by agents from You Ring We Spring Bail Bonds of North Las Vegas.  News reports did not include the full alias used by Simpson, but "Miguel Mexico" has a nice ring to it.   The Juice must love that jailhouse cookin'! 

Indiana Pacers President of Basketball Operations, Larry Bird, today announced a series of lectures based on his forthcoming book, "Discipline Your Team like Dr. Spock."  Rejecting the stern, disciplinarian approach favored by coaches like Bobby Knight and John Wooden, Bird has elected a gentler path, more in keeping with the teachings of 50's permissive, Dr. Spock.  The team's lack of success in recent seasons, with constant disruptions from players like Ron Artest, Jamal Tinsley, Shawne Williams and David Harrison speaks volumes about Bird's approach.  As a motivator and coach, Bird looked pretty slick.  As a personnel director and policy enforcer, he truly looks like a hick from French Lick.

The unspoken tragedy surrounding the Marion Jones performance-enhancing drug/perjury scandal is the fact that she didn't have to use them!  Jones would likely have been OIympic champion without using any enhancers. Truly gifted with speed and beauty and grace and strength, she still elected to cheat.  This would be like Tiger Woods executing a foot-mashie to kick his ball out of a bad lie, or Bill Belichick video-taping the sideline signals of his opponents.  Why cheat when you can win fair and square? 

Just because New England is  successful with Randy Moss in the line-up doesn't mean that he is no longer a cancer.  The Patriots are simply in remisssion.

  Before I provide my fearless prognostications for this weekend's NFL playoff match-ups, let's take a look at how  last season's match-ups developed.  The Patriots had a bye in the first round and the Colts knocked off Kansas City.  In the 2nd round, Indy travelled to Baltimore and knocked off the once powerful Ravens.   Hard to believe the disparity between last season's Raven juggernaut and their pitiful 2007 squad!  But I digress...

  The Chargers looked like the best team in the league, going 14-2, but they were matched with the Patriots, always a stalwart playoff opponent and battle-tested and ready.    Thanks to a couple of dunderheaded Schottenheimer moves and some odd ovoid bounces New England prevailed, which brought the AFC championship back to Indy.

   We are now at a similar point in the season, with 3 of last season's participants remaining.  This week,  San Diego travels to Indy and the fresh face in the semi-finals belongs to the Jacksonville Jaguars, who now confront the unbeaten Patriots in Foxborough.

  The Colts season has been remarkable, although a bit star-struck, remaining in the shadows of New England's unbeaten regular season.  The number of injuries the Colts have suffered should have seen them in the middle of the pack in the AFC South, demonstrably the best division in the NFL.  They lost nose-tackle Booger MacFarlane to injury before the regular season began.  Their 10 time All Pro offensive tackle, Tarik Glenn, surprised the team by retiring before the season began as well. They have played without Hall of Fame lock Marvin Harrison for the last 10 weeks and without Dwight Freeney, arguably the best pass rusher in the business, for the last  8.  They played several games with zero regular starters on the defensive front four.  The Colts reached down and drudged up the unfortunately named Craphonso Thorpe and Houston's taxi -squad reject Devin Aromashodu to bolster a receiving corps forced to play without Dallas Clark, rookie Anthony Gonzales and both tight ends,  Ben Utecht and Brian Fletcher. The O-line has been similary ####ed up but rookies and journeyman have ably replaced veterans forced to sit out.  All of these injuries were compounded by the fact that the Colts lost both starting safeties and an outstanding linebacker, Cato June, to free agency.

 One would think that  the Indianapolis Colts are due for a few good breaks.  But the breaks shouldn't  matter, because this team just keeps on winning, regardless of how deep they reach into their reserves.  Subtract one big play by the Patriots and Adam Vinateri's missed field goal at the close of the Chargers game, and it would have been the Colts who were playing in week 17 against the Tennessee Titans to clinch an unbeaten season.

 And now the picks:

Even if most of the breaks work against them, the Colts will be moving on to the AFC Championship Game again this season.  While last season's San Diego Chargers squad was awe-inspiring and truly a physical, imposing team, this year's group seems lackluster and unfocused, struggling through a weak schedule to the number 3 seed.   Sure they have a 7 game winning streak, but during this streak they have beaten exactly one team with a winning record, the Tennesse Titans.  As I have contended all season, the Titans are essentially playing without a quarterback.  NFL teams are supposed to be able to beat a wishbone offense.  While the Bolts beat the Colts 23-21 in week 10 in San Diego, this was a Dr. Strangelove/Dr. Seuss kind of game:  in the rain, Colts in pain, Peyton's brain somewhere else.  Serious handicappers recognize the need to throw out the anomolies when making their picks and that match-up was not an accurate reflection of either team's ability or modus operandi.

  Philip Rivers looks uneven on his best days, and the Titans demonstrated that the once-feared LT is eminently stoppable.   While the Chargers defense should be rested after facing the underwhelming Titans O, the Colts Lightning Offense will have them back on their heels and huffing and puffing early.  Reggie Wayne has been unstoppable of late and Dallas Clark remains as dangerous as any receiver in the league. There are even suggestions of a Marvin Harrison sighting.  Peyton,quick to the line of scrimmage and highly cognizant of the other coach's manuevers,  won't let the Titans make defensive substitutions and Joseph Addai should improve on the minor gashing the Titans Pillsbury Doughboy, Lendale White, was able to inflict on the Bolts.  If all else fails everyone knows the Colts will have the heat turned up in the Hoosier Dome and their patented, piped-in crowd noise will reduce Rivers to a whimpering, puddle of fumbles, miscues and sacks.  Colts 35, Bolts 14.

  Now, about that game up in Foxborough:

  The weatherman is calling for clear skies, a boon to the Brady bunch, although the temperatures hovering in the 40 degree range might make pitching and catching just slightly more difficult.  Of course, the Pats are used to the New England cold, so we can't say the weather will be a factor.   What the Pats aren't used to is trying to tackle a speeding anvil lathered in grease.   Maurice Jones-Drew, the Pocket Hercules, is as elusive as the legendary Barry Sanders but even more powerful.  His extremely low center of gravity combined with his speed and cutting ability, make Jones-Drew tough to tackle both in the open field and in the heart of the battle as well.   Mixing up the carries with Fred Jones should keep the aging Patriots defenders from adjusting to either back's pace and movement.    Now I know that Adalius Thomas is on the back end of his prime, but Junior Seau is 37, Vrabel and Brushci and Izzo all have 12 seasons in the league and have shown signs of slowing in the 2nd half of the season.   Rodney Harris is 35 and probably off the steroids he used that got him suspended for 4 games early in the season.   Since he says he took them to help him recuperate from injuries ("rather than to get a competitive edge."), he ought to be a little nicked up this late in the season.   An aging defense with relatively little speed will begin to get shown up after a couple quarters of getting pounded by the Jags relentless running attack.  Garrard is a very capable runner as well, but unlike Vince Young, Garrard has pocket presence and makes very few mistakes with the ball.   With a quarterback rating of 102.2 and only 3 interceptions, Garrard seems the ideal quarterback to help Del Rio's team keep the Brady and Moss bunch glaring on the sidelines.

 Yes, I know the evil hoodie genius will provide a defensive scheme with more wrinkles than a shar-pei,  but Garrard protected the ball better than every other quarterback in the NFL this season, and Jack Del Rio's game plan will emphasize the need for absoluting minimizing turnovers.   It doesn't seem likely that the threat of Lawrence Maroney running the ball will be able to keep the Jag defenders honest: they should be teeing off on Brady and might even muss his carefullly coifed locks a time or two.  I suspect Brady will give up 2 or 3 picks-certainly more than Garrard.  Jacksonville's biggest obstacle will be to keep from collecting chippy penalties:  the Colts have succeeded in luring the Jags into several roughing and unsportsmanlike penalties in their 2 victories over the Jags this season.  Del Rio must have his team nearly penalty free if they expect to knock off  ESPN's Team of the Century. 

  The Patriots are feeling a lot more pressure in this game than the Jaguars.  Throughout a remarkable regular season New England has been able to back up the trash talking and bragadoccio, most of it coming from their chowderhead fans.  There is a new bully in the neighborhood this week though, and they have only one game to win or lose.  The Patriots have the burden of playing for the Ages and this might just take things out of focus.  The Devil is in the details and the final score will be:

Jacksonville 27 New England 20.

Jacksonville will play Indianapolis for the 3rd time this season for the AFC Championship in Indianapolis.

What a relief to escape the heavy breathing over the Patriots for a week!    I truly believe we went almost a week without the media's incessant braying about the "Greatest Team in the History of the Universe."  Tom Brady will have to go back to asking his mirror:  "Whose ####'s are finest of them all?"   Two more wins and Brady will be nominated for beatification and Randy Moss will have to give up his street cred....

After the Jaguars pound the Patriots into submission this week Maurice Jones-Drew and John Henderson will have to go into the witness-protection program.

Is it just a co-incidence that Martina Hingis and Roger Clemens have both opted for retirement?  Martina's agent says she doesn't use cocaine, she just likes the way it smells. True sports fans all across America should beg the Steroid Rocket to come back just one more time.  It would be a joy to watch him serve up that 37 mph fastball he's sporting without his cheating boosters.  Retiring is the ultimate admission of guilt for Clemens-there is no way he retires if he could still compete.  Obviously, without the juice, he can't.

Got to give credit where credit is due:  The perfomance by Seattle's punter,  Ryan Plackemeier,  may have been the greatest performance in post-season history by a punter.  Every kick was executed to perfection with the Redskins getting 0 yards in returns.  Not one punt was returned a single yard and all of them were inside the 10 yard line!  How do you get any better than that?

Note to Titan's coach Jeff Fisher:  Nice defense and solid offensive line play.  Now wake up and trade Vince Young while you he still has signficant trade value.  Young will never be a top level NFL quarterback.  Take that wishbone, wishful thinking to the trading table and draft a pocket passer.  Young's instinct is to run at the first sign of trouble.  With a bit of pocket presence the Titan's could have stolen that game from the woefully underacheiving Chargers offense.

Speaking of woefull under-achievers, how 'bout that Redskins offense?  I didn't think it was possible to make the Smells-Like-Team-Spirit Seahawks look good.   Here's a line for Hasselbeck vs the Packers:  We're taking the collar and we're going to choke!

Is there any doubt that the AFC South is hands-down the best division in football?  The post-season was an Albert Haynesworth tantrum away from having 3 of the 4 teams in the division finals from the South.  And Gary Kubiak's Texans ain't no patsies, either!

And what about that wacky Hanynesworth? It's bad enough to jump offsides at a critical moment, Albert.  Dusting Philip Rivers probably cost your team the game.  You read it here first:  this head-stomping, Pacman-taunting fuming mountain of blubber will come to a bad end.  And soon.  I'm sure his file is sitting on the corner of Roger Goodell's desk.  Can anyone be that filled with rage on their own natural body chemistry?

Did you know that Peyton Manning had a little brother?  At least the guy that showed up in Tampa looked like a Manning.  Nice work Eli.  Your team looks a lot more like a winner now that that back-stabbing poser named after a patio torch is getting paid to mouth off.  I believe there will be a come-to-Jesus meeting down in Dallas this weekend and Tony Romo had better have been saying his nevers.  Right now Eli looks like the better quarterback.

Props offered to Bob Sanders, All-World safety for the Indianapolis Colts, announced as Defensive Player of the Year for the NFL, and justly so.  We know that 2/3rds of the earth is covered by water and the rest is covered by Bob Sanders.  Do you know how you can tell which wide receivers dared to run slant routes in front of Bob Sanders?  Dental records.

 And I will close this week's early rant with my Worst Coach of the Year award.  Sure its easy to pick the top coaches, but who really played the biggest role in sucking the mojo out of his team?  Topping the list, you gotta love Bobby Petrino.  Talk about kicking someone when they are down, this dirt-eating slug high-tailed it the moment he got the chance.   Probably unable and absolutely unwilling to make the sacrifice necessary to help his team.  They never recovered from the wrenchingly miserable conclusion to a bad draft pick that no one ever imagined could have gone so horribly wrong.  There's some powerful bad karma down in Atlanta.   Petrino may think he escaped it, but he probably just dragged his part down to Fayetteville.  Pigs get fat and hogs get slaughtered!

As bizarre as the year 2007 played out, what with stratospheric salaries, an omni-present media, and every Tom, Harry and Craphonso looking for his 15 minutes of fame,  2008 can only get weirder:

  Gi-normous flameout, Jamarcus Russell, doing his best Ryan Leaf imitation, will abandon the Oakland Raiders and challenge Kobiyashi of Competitive Eating fame to a cheeseburger-eating contest.  Russell is already in training with his new fitness coach, William "The Refrigerator" Perry.

  Patriot's head coach, Bill Belichick, basking in the glow of an almost perfect, 17-1 season, opts to try his hand at acting.  In a made-for-TV special, Belichick will play the Unabomber, Ted Kaczynski.  Director Martin Scorcese hand-picked Belichick for the role because he dresses like the Unabomber, has similar hygiene, and it isn't a stretch for the audience to see Coach Belichick as a deranged hermit.

  Reeling from the double-whammy of the Cowboy's loss to the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLII and subsequently being dumped by Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo goes to court and has his name legally changed to "Tony Romeo."   Romeo continues to slide down the C and D list of celebrity starlets and is caught by Paparazzi,  head freshly shaven and  snuggling with Brittany Spears

  Arthur Blank, still smarting from the firestorm of negative energy surrounding the Atlanta Falcons in 2007, signs Marcus Vick  as his new quarterback.  Blank pointed out that the Vick family has been an important part of the Atlanta community and that the younger Vick should be a model citizen under new head coach, Gary Moeller.  The former head coach at the University of Michigan has sworn to stay with the team throughout his 5 year contract and was quoted: "Who else is going to hire me anyway?"

  Roger Clemens, in a determined effort to restore his tarnished reputation, turns over a new leaf for 2008.  Reporting to the Yankees spring-training camp at a svelte 195, Clemens attributes his leaner physique to a new-found diet and exercise program.  Claiming to be tired of being a fireballer, Clemens has developed a knuckle ball and will work on his off-speed pitches.  Questioned about this alleged use of steroids and human-growth hormone, Roger fired back:  "  Would I look this thin if I were still taking, er.....I mean taking HGH?"

  An additional note from the Clemens camp reports that his attorney, Rusty Hardin, is conducting his own investigation into the possible use of performance-enhancing drugs by Clemens and others.  Not a moment too soon!  Hardin also reports that he is assisting O.J. Simpson in his Las Vegas assault and kidnapping trial.  Since O.J. may be tied up for a while, Hardin adds that he will take over O.J.'s search for the real killer as well.

  The world of professional golf is rocked by scandal in 2008, as representatives for Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els and 17 other top tour pros allege that Tiger Woods, in a complicated scheme involving clothing manufacturers, has been colluding with those companies.  It seems that all of the top tour pros have been receiving golf shirts with necks several sizes too small, causing the players to chafe and choke in Tiger's presence.  John Daly, in the boldest move on this front, has petitioned the TPA and the PGA to play shirtless this season.

  In a brilliant and deft move, controversial New York Knicks President, Isiah Thomas, while clinging to his dream of completely dismantling the Knicks, has taken a 2nd job as diplomat at the United Nations.   With his new position, Zeke  can park wherever he wants, call women "####es" in over 100 languages, and claim diplomatic immunity for any additional crimes or civil infractions he chooses to commit.

 And the Major League Baseball Players association has finally agreed to take a stand on testing for performance-enhancing drugs.  Starting in the 2008 season and continuing through the 2009 season, the MLBPA has agreed to begin random testing on all retired members of the union.  Once results are in, the union will look at possible further testing.

 It looks like Terrell Owens is finally starting to show his true colors.  Now he is chastising the Cowboys coaches for not making sure he gets his requisite number of drops per game.  And today he started calling Jessica Simpson out for bringing bad luck to America's team.  When's the last time he checked his own ju-ju?  If there is such a thing as karma, Texas stadium will be full of coal by Christmas.

  Bob Costas in his weekly radio rant lamented the fact the Baseball Hall of Fame electors failed to enshrine Major League Baseball Player's Union architect, Marvin Miller.  We think its just a matter of time:  Miller's bust will be going up in Cooperstown just as Satan drops the puck for the first NHL game in Hell. 

  Hope Santa has a tanker truck full of Geritol for that pitiful looking Baltimore Ravens squad.  Is it really possible to watch a team age right before your eyes?  Nobody in the NFL has been worse over the last 7 weeks and the Ravens are 0-Fer including bowing to the lowly Dolphins.

  Has anybody seen or heard from the Colts' Marvin Harrison over the last 10 weeks?  I know the superstar wide-out likes to lay low and keep to himself, but has their even been a Marvin sighting?  No better present for Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning than a healed up, rested Marvelous Marvin for the playoffs....

  And How 'bout those 5 crazy Falcons sporting their "Free Michael Vick" t-shirts and putting on a mini-demonstration on the sidelines during Sunday's game with the Saints?   Is it really possible to be that far out of touch with reality and the public sentiment?  Maybe this was Santa's gift to PETA....

   The Indiana Pacers have now decided that they will keep Jamal Tinsley out of jail or an early grave by  providing him with his own personal security guard to accompany him on his late night search for meaning and ####'s.  There is just no way this could go wrong.....

   In his column, the controversial and entertaining Jason Whitlock came to the defense of Donovan McNabb, proclaiming that Donovan was one of the top 5 quarterbacks in the league.  Hmmm, let's see now, there's Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Tony Romo, Brett Favre, Drew Brees, David Garrard, Ben Rothlisberger, Carson Palmer,  Eli Manning.. please stop me when you get to the guy you would give up in exchange for McNabb.  Maybe Santa could get Jason signed as the new Patriots GM.  It would certainly be a gift for the rest of the league!

   The Big Tuna, Bill Parcells has been nosing around the vacated coaching job in Atlanta and its being suggested that he may coach the Dolphins.  What  could possibly be a better match up for the Fish?  And make no mistake about it,  Wade Phillips got his Christmas gift last fall when he was hired to coach that Cowboy team put together by Parcells.

  And how about Senator Mitchell's gift to all of us old time baseball fans?  What could be more satisfying than watching a bunch of cheating, spoiled millionaires squirm and twist in the media wind?  Looks like Roger Clemens would have been just another aging lard-bag without some Androl and Human Growth Hormone.   If he really thinks he is being slandered he can file that lawsuit.  What a pious, bullying fraud!

  Here's wishing the whitest of Christmases for the New England Patriots:  A densely packed stadium full of snow may well test that ground game that is so sorely out of practice.  All I want from Santa is for the Colts to play in New England in the AFC Championshp game, bringing the Pats season to an inglorious 17-1.  What could be sweeter?

    Felice Navidad!

Considering that the only real challenge left in the regular season for the Hate-riots is with the Steelers coming to Foxborough this weekend,  a New England victory will have the Chowderheads and ESPN home-boys declaring their Pats the Team of the Century.  This league is all about momentum and putting together a streak at the right time.  Mighty tough early,  New England looks slow and relatively ineffective lately.  What will a 16-0 regular season get them if they are knocked off by the Jaguars in the playoffs?  Or the Colts again? Professional sports most painful asterisk?

Note to NFL Announcers:  there is no such thing as a Jag-Wire.

 Why is it that the most physical teams in the NFL are the biggest crybabies?  I thought the whining from Jack Del Rio and his assortment of thugs was irritating until I heard the self-immolating old-timers from Baltimore start to blame their loss on everything and everyone but themselves.  Ever heard of winning and losing like a Man?

Speaking of ESPN: what a shame that this brilliant creation has devolved into Chris Berhman and his Boston neighbors shamelessly plugging the local teams while Monday Night finds Tony Kornheiser infuriating  every male over the age of 8 by shuttling has-beens and wanna-be's on camera right in the middle of the game.  Rumor has it , Tiger Woods text-messaged Charles Barkley while being interviewed by Kornheiser with the note"  "Shut up so we can watch the game~!" 

Anybody seen Randy Moss?  Has the league figured how to stop him?  His numbers are awfully  puny lately-9 catches for 77 yards in two weeks.  Journeyman numbers at best.

This week's Mensa candidates:  1.) Duante Culpepper for blowing out his groin in a footrace.  He wanted to prove he was still fast. Well he proved something-he's real dumb and probalby done in the NFL.  2.)  Reggie Williams for the block in Ty-juan Hagler's back after the whistle with Maurice Drew-Jones rushing for a first down at the  Colts 7. Jags settle for a field goal and the Colts win by 3.  Thank you Reggie!  and 3.)  Joe Gibbs calling 2 time outs in a row and giving Josh Scobee 15 fewer yards to kick for the winning field goal.  Did Joe think it was a pit stop or that they were running under a yellow?

Whatever happened to all the hype about Vince Young?  Apparently to be a successful quarterback in this league you have to learn how to PASS the ball.  Note to NFL Scouts and draft staffs:  every college quarterback that is going to be the next Michael Vick or Randall Cunningham or Vince Young is still going to be unable to become a Super Bowl winning quarterback.  Find a guy who can stay in the pocket and find his receivers and you have a shot at the big prize: no matter how talented an athlete your wishbone quarterback was at Stud State, he ain't gonna make it running the football in the NFL.

There has been some rumbling from down under in the weak-sister NFC this year, what with the Cowboys and the Packers playing effective football against their softer slates.  Favre has been a great story but his body is breaking down and Romo has all the glam and glitz and T.O. is actually acting like a citizen.  What is the under on T.O. making it a full season without a melt-down?  I would like to place my bet. 

Is anyone giving Jon Gruden the kudos he deserves for the 3 ring quarterback audition he ran in the pre-season?  Looks pretty smart today.

Will the Lions ever get it together?  Kitna has made a valiant effort but he gets no protection and his body is breaking down too.  Whatever else the Lions do this post-season, they need to develop a young, franchise quarterback and put together an offensive line to protect him and help him grow.  (I know, it's easier said than done.) The amazing job Howard Mudd has done with the broken and patched together Colts offensive line is proof that it isn't just about personnel.   You can scheme and coach your way into an acceptable protection scheme.

Steelers 19, Patriots 18 in a muckfest.