Sometimes, I really wonder about football fans in the New England area.  Yeah, I’m calling you out.  Are you real football fans?  I have to question it, specifically starting out with the individuals that run the local television stations.  But hey, now that I have everyone’s attention anyway…

 

I get it that your team was entering Sunday’s showdown with the Pittsburgh Steelers with an unblemished record.  I get it that you are gunning for a perfect season.  I get it that you have interest in watching your beloved team play.  I GET IT.

 

But shouldn’t it be OK to miss perhaps the opening kickoff and first few minutes of the game to see the completion of another?  Specifically one that has playoff implications and is about to go into overtime?

 

Case in point, yesterday’s game between the Tennessee Titans and San Diego Chargers.  Let me transport you to the waning moments of the game.  The Chargers were flat all game, with injuries being sustained to key players such as Philip Rivers, Antonio Gates, and Shawne Merriman.  Gates and Rivers fought through the pain and kept playing.  As a team, San Diego kept fighting, eventually clawing their way back, to the point where it was 17-10 in the final minutes, with the Chargers driving down the field for a game-tying score.  The once raucous Tennessee crowd was becoming uneasy, quieting from deafening cheers to borderline murmurs.  You could almost hear each fan squirming around in their seats.  With the game clock further ticking towards zero, Rivers lobbed a pass to the corner of the end zone, where star tight end Antonio Gates waited to try and win a jump ball situation.  As Gates reached up into the sky and snagged the ball, his feet came down near the sideline.  In slow motion, I watched in anticipation, as a fan of the game, and one who loves last second heroics.  The official slowly crept up from the side, and appeared to be raising his hands towards the sky to signal a touchdown when…

 

“… 0% down, come by and pick out your favorite model today…”

 

No, that wasn’t an advertisement geared at getting the attention of Tom Brady.  It was a car commercial.

 

I was now watching a local car commercial highlighting some cheesy jingle and an end of the season sale.  I kid you not.

 

The first thought that popped into my head was… “No, they didn’t… they couldn’t have.”

 

Giving the local executives the benefit of the doubt, I thought maybe it was a glitch with the TV programming, and the game was cut to commercial on accident, or just prematurely. 

 

They didn’t… they couldn’t have.

 

THEY DID.

 

New England pulled a “Heidi”.

 

Heidi, the lovable Swiss girl, also the focal point of a children’s movie that so rudely interrupted a tight matchup between the Jets and Raiders four decades ago next year.  That game was another matchup of two of the better teams in the league during that time.

 

The commercials finally ended, yet the battle between the Chargers and Titans was gone and off my television airwaves for good.  Instead, the pre-game for the Steelers and Patriots match replaced it faster than you can say “Spygate”.  I was officially thrust from the climax of one game with playoff implications, and into a pre-game chat filled with pointless banter.

 

Is there a legal contract here that something like this must happen?  Or is it that New England is so self-centered that no other game matters?  Contractual legality is the only thing I can come up with besides the fact that the head of the TV station is more of a “homer” than a football fan.  Either way you slice it, I see it as serving up a plate of “just plain ridiculous”.

 

Say what you want about it, but my message to the New England media is that you’re an absolute joke.  There, I said it.  What are you going to do about it, cut my cable line?!  You simply can’t block out the final minutes of an OT thriller (with playoff implications) to present the pre-game for the local team’s matchup.  That’s against “Football Viewing Code” if you ask me.

 

This further tells me that there could be a major event in our world today, good, bad, or tragic, and the local news stations would not dare report it because the Patriots or Red Sox were on TV.  I wouldn’t be shocked if it were only presented to me in the form of a ticker at the bottom of the screen.

 

And that, my friends, is my rant for today.  New England pulled a “Heidi” on me yesterday.  I wonder what they will do next.  My guess is something new happens by the final week of the season, when the locals do whatever it takes to get that Week 17 matchup against the Giants on local TV.  Remember, it’s on the NFL Network.  Attention New England: Since your beloved Patriots will be 15-0 at that point, why don’t you just put it on every station, much like the press a Presidential address gets.  You should put pre-game shows on during the 1 and 4 o’clock time frames too.  And yes, you can cut my sarcasm with a knife.

 

Who knows what will go on with the TV broadcast in upcoming weeks.  Stay tuned… literally.  With all my frustration, maybe I should just read a book.

I took a stupid pill today.  Therefore, until this pill wears off entirely, I will be unable to answer and analyze some important sports questions that I have regarding the recent happenings in the NFL.  Because of this, I am turning to you for assistance.  Specifically, I am searching for your opinions regarding the NFL postseason, Super Bowl XLI, and the results of some of this year’s awards. 

You are also probably wondering how I can manage to come up with coherent thoughts after taking a stupid pill.  Well, let me assure you, I have my ways.  You need only to worry about the questions that I have, and nothing else.  Once the stupid pill wears off entirely, I will tally up your answers and feedback, and later chime in with my own thoughts and opinions.

Thanks for your participation.... and without further ado, here is a six pack of questions that I seek answers for, in my first ever “Stupid Pill Survey”…

 

Stupid Pill Survey

Question ONE: 2006 NFL MVP (Adjusted Scenario)

The Briefing: As most of you know, LaDainian Tomlinson broke the NFL touchdown record this year, which was formerly held by Seattle’s Shaun Alexander.  Let’s slightly adjust the scenario by saying that Tomlinson had 27 touchdowns on the season (four less than his total of 31), leaving him one behind Alexander for the NFL record.  While 27 total touchdowns and over 2,300 total yards is still an incredible season, would falling short of the record affect the voting drastically, therefore opening the door for a candidate such as QB Drew Brees of the Saints, who had over 4,400 passing yards and led his team to a first round bye (after a 3-13 season)?  On the other hand, perhaps another player would have been more valuable to his team this year?

With this adjusted scenario, who is your NFL MVP of 2006?

1. LaDainian Tomlinson (RB - San Diego Chargers
2. Drew Brees (QB - New Orleans Saints)
3. Larry Johnson (RB - Kansas City Chiefs)
4. Tiki Barber (RB - New York Giants)
5. Someone Else (Write-In Candidate)

Question TWO: 2006 NFL Coach of the Year (Adjusted Scenario)

The Briefing: Sean Payton definitely is deserving of the Coach of the Year award in the NFL, as the Saints had an incredible turnaround this season.  However, let’s discuss a slightly different scenario.  The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina certainly is still being felt around New Orleans, and overall, this was a horrible tragedy that many people wish had never happened.  Speaking of which, what if it didn’t happen, and the Saints were not the overwhelming sentimental favorite of the NFL this year (for obvious reasons)?  Would that have opened the door for Eric Mangini of the New York Jets, who had an equally incredible season?  What about someone else? 

With this adjusted scenario, who is your NFL Coach of the Year for 2006?

1. Sean Payton (New Orleans Saints)
2. Eric Mangini (New York Jets)
3. Marty Schottenheimer (San Diego Chargers)
4. Jeff Fisher (Tennessee Titans)
5. Someone Else (Write-in Candidate)

Question THREE: 2006 NFL Rookie of the Year (Adjusted Scenario)

The Briefing: After starting the season 0-5, the Titans were already hearing talk of who they would take with the first pick in the NFL draft.  However, Vince Young helped spark Tennessee to a late playoff run and an 8-8 record for the year (almost making NFL history).  Let’s once again tweak the season scenario slightly.  What if Marques Colston had not suffered a minor injury late in the season with New Orleans?  Colston’s numbers were still quite impressive during the year (1,038 yards receiving and 8 TD’s), but the injury almost immediately dropped him off the Rookie of the Year radar.  Would an injury free season by Colston have changed the voting at all?  Was one of the other rookies in the NFL this year more deserving?

With this adjusted scenario, who is your NFL Rookie of the Year for 2006?

1. Vince Young (QB - Tennessee Titans)
2. Devin Hester (DB/KR/PR - Chicago Bears)
3. Marques Colston (WR - New Orleans Saints)
4. Maurice Jones-Drew (RB - Jacksonville Jaguars)
5. Someone Else (Write-In Candidate)

Would Tomlinson, Payton, and Young still have won their respective awards in slightly different scenarios?

Question FOUR: Who least deserves to be employed in the NFL at this time?

The Briefing: After difficult and/or somewhat disappointing ends to the NFL season, all of these men are reportedly returning to each of their respective positions.  Which individual most deserves to have already been fired?

1. Tom Coughlin (Head Coach - New York Giants)
2. Marty Schottenheimer (Head Coach - San Diego Chargers)
3. Gregg Williams (Def. Coordinator - Washington Redskins)
4. Matt Millen (President and CEO - Detroit Lions)
5. Someone Else (Write-In Candidate) 

Question FIVE: Who will be the MVP of Super Bowl XLI?

The Briefing: There are certainly a number of different players listed as early favorites for this award, and this one is certainly anyone’s guess at this point.  Therefore, I will toss out two random players from each of the Super Bowl representatives, and expect a great deal of write-in votes to come my way.

1. Peyton Manning (QB - Indianapolis Colts)
2. Thomas Jones (RB - Chicago Bears)
3. Marvin Harrison (WR - Indianapolis Colts)
4. Brian Urlacher (MLB - Chicago Bears)
5. Someone Else (Write-In Candidate)

And last but certainly not least…

Question SIX: Who will WIN Super Bowl XLI?

1. Chicago Bears
2. Indianapolis Colts 

Who will win Super Bowl XLI, the Bears or the Colts?

In your comments, please feel free to expand on any these questions, as I would be interested in hearing your additional thoughts.  I certainly have left the door open for some very colorful responses.  Overall, I do hope that some of these questions made you think, and that I receive a great deal of creative and interesting responses.  I will have a follow-up to this post featuring my thoughts, as well as your responses. 

 

Take care! Regards, KP